sat sept 27

woo hoo. day off tomorrow. was tired today. thank GOD it was not a hard day of work. had to drink so much coffee. thankfully no super hard questions and the slowest day we have ever had. i got lucky.

heh. now i can’t stop thinking about my female friend having sechs with her boifran. where a few months ago the idea of me having sechs with her just seemed weird and wrong and awkward and uncomfortable, now i feel a lot more favorable about it. is it just because another guy is banging her, where before I was aware of that, I didn’t actively think about it.

oh well. i’ve been thru worse things with wimmin.

but yeah. the larger point is that i guess you CAN go from platonic, to non-platonic. believe me, i never thought it could happen. i learned something new.

so it stands to reason that i can make it go from slightly non-platonic, back to platonic again. just tired of training my mind to jump thru damn hoops.

but if i can do it, you can do it to.

also, if you have a female platonic friend who is not too old and not ugly and doesn’t have kids, and you get along well, uhh work hard to train your mind to be attracted to her BEFORE she gets a boifran.

try this: imagine her having sechs with other men and see how that makes you feel. them having passionate wild sechs all night long. would you rather it be HIM……or YOU?

but it’s not the end of the world, i will survive, hehehehe.

not nearly as bad as anything with girl 7.

and i refuse to make this “new” gurl “girl9”!

i refuse to make any gurl girl9 or woman9 until i have a happy satisfying lovey dovey true luv sechs relationsh1t with her for….at least 3 months solid, with no fear of her dumping me.

now eating gobstobbers and rotting muh teeth and playing on the internet, playing settlers, uploading talking files.

hope you are still making talking files. i am. every day. i will have to start looking at hard drive soon to store this sh1t because my google cloud is going to fill up in like 6 months at this rate.

would it be worth it to shell out big bucks to get a masters degree from a third tier toilet in “systems analyst”?  that is, would you be guaranteed to easily find a great, high-paying job with ease? I can’t say. I don’t know. it will probably be hard to find that job.

heh. i wouldn’t mind smoking some w33d right now, maybe reading a book and going to sleep.

you ever smoke w33d and then read a book? rather than watching tv, or playing a gaym, or listening to music? you should give it a try. i should have tried it more. but i could see how it could also be challenging to concentrate.

you can do your own readings of books on your voice files.

hehehe. it aint easy being a working class guy who prefers middle class women. i should learn to luv women of my own class.

the working class NEED NOT be anti-intellectual, or degenerate!!

we can be Happy Racist Working Class Warrior Philosopher Kings!

sept 28

but we all know about white families who adopt black babies and the black babies end up becoming intelligent law abiding successful hard working people like their adoptive parents. so that proves it’s all nurture, right?

same as whites who become degenerate by living in degenerate communities and doing degenerate things all their lives.

or degenerate blacks for that matter.

went to bed earlyish on saturday, slept till 1030, went to church without showering, came home, took nap till 4 30 or so, ate dinner, playing around on computer now for 12 more minutes until i go for 1 hour powerwalk and then get into bed and try to get rested for WORK. 8.5 hours of weird questions and trying to talk confidently to people and fix their problems. and in order to make a good impression i should stay 9 hours IF there are callers waiting at the end of the day, and their usually is.

exercise, even a good powerwalk, is more important than Dicking around on the internet, even blogging.

A good powerwalk is MUCH more healthy and beneficial than you might think. it is probably actually the best form of exercise to lose weight. it tells your body to be in fat burning mode. and it is more fun that jogging. more peaceful. you can listen to music and talks and such.

eh. i am just confused re my female friend. in all my 30+ years i have never had this happen.  where i willfully wanted to convert platonic feels to nonplatonic feels, then Sort Of Succeeding a Little Bit, and then wanted to Roll That Back because I didn’t know the gurl had a boifran. Never had this happen before. Usually I fall hard and immediately and get rejected and take years of no contact to get over it. at best, get a few good weeks and then get rejected and that’s even worse.

oh well. it is not raging bad, i mean i can still live my life and most importantly, do my job without getting distracted. because you gotta be on all the time at the job. consider yourself REALLY lucky if you get a slow period. on saturday i had a couple slow periods and was SO thankful for it. won’t be like that tomorrow!