sat sept 20 2014

day off tomorrow. valium does not seem to be working as powerfully. i think i am addicted hehehe. muh shrink in muh monthly visit said i should attempt to take the valium as prescribed, ie, before work, and not recreationally after work. and just try a half if i am worried about sounding drunk. it is a logical and reasonable idea.

so intimacy is a healthy good positive thing for human beings, and we should not be like mgtows shunning women because of feiminism. we should be open to the idea of having a close rel with women. as long as you are not too big of a weirdo it may be possible. i dunno. i’m not desperate for it. what was it. millennial woes’s need for intimacy vidya.

this is a good one. he says he had a gay phase so you might think that is degenerate, but otherwise he makes some very good points. i don’t really care that he had a gay phase. plus he was probably the top, hahahaha.

so apparently mgtows make the same mistake as feminists do, by making sex into a commodity, a product. MW says this is absurd. I would just add that, well, MW might think it’s absurd, but it is indeed the absurd reality for many beta men. they probably experienced too many women who treated sex with THEM as a mere commodity, use once then throw away, and that turned these men off sechs and women, somewhat understandably. but i agree with MW that intimacy is healthy and good, and that mgtows and kissless virgins should not give up on it. don’t give up.

i haven’t really given up on it, i’m just not really trying or looking for it, and I’m not really expecting it to happen, i just feel too old, like that time has passed, and while that isn’t great, it’s not horrible either, and i could conceivably live the rest of my life without being “intimate” with a woman.  again, not ideal, maybe not the most complete life, but not the worst life ever either.

do we necessarily HAVE to have sechs with the woman we are intimate? lately i’ve been considering the idea of a “platonic wife.”

not a new idea but still. you have a platonic wife who you get along with real well, but you don’t have sechs because that would just be weird. but you have kidz with her. and then you allow both yourself and her to go elsewhere for hot passionate nonweird sechs. and then maybe if luv and intimacy develops there, then you can be allowed to take multiple spouses and also have children with them.

or is that too degenerate. it does flirt with the degenerate. did our ancestors do it. can you have a Nuclear Family with two or more Nuclei?

oy vey. hard day of work. actually not as much. there were a couple slow periods. It was actually the slowest day in a long time, meaning there were actually slow periods rather than the whole day being ridiculous one call after another. there were a couple times where there were a few minutes between calls. this is not a job for the easily flustered. and i am very easily flustered. but i have become better in that dept. Hooray for Personal and Profession growth. if I can do it, anyone can do it. you can do it. the world’s laziest loser could do it.

but its not easy. takes all the energy out of you. its like taking a test for 8 hours a day every day. but it is probably worth it for the skill of dealing with customers, that is indeed a valuable skill which hopefully looks good on a resume. communication skills and all that. or who knows, maybe it’s worthless for career dev. who cares. it doesn’t matter. hehehehe. of course it matters.

but yeah. this is a real world bigboy job. you cannot slack off, there’s rarely any slow periods, you get a couple of slow minutes per week is about it, and you have no mental energy for anything else, and come home, take a short powerwalk, then go to bed to get as much sleep as possible to be on top of your game the next workday.

so when i get a day off i sometimes do binge shopping sprees now buy silver and groceries and books and clothes sometimes, hehehe.

still less than a wimmin buying shoes and clothes. ok that’s wimmin hating. not all wimmin are spending freaks. some men are spending freaks too, like the people who lease cadillacs and bmws they can’t afford.

or the men and wimmin who waste their money and futures on COLLEGE.

whenever you learn something new or valuable on the job, write it on a small post it note and then cover the walls of your cubicle with the post it notes. have i already said this. when the entire cubicle is covered with post it notes (use the smallest ones so you can fit the most possible), so that you have to remove old ones to add new ones, then you probably have a decent grasp of your job, have been there a few months and successfully withstood, and will probably not be fired for incompetence, plus your boss can see how diligently you’ve been taking notes. have more post it notes than anyone.

find the most successfull person at the job and do what they do. imitate them. learned that lesson from hank hill hehehe. i wish hank hill were a real person. i would hang out with him and become his buddy and hang out in the alley with him. heh. maybe i should write or at least read king of the hill fanfiction. i’m sure it’s out there.

there is is. actually most of those look like they suck balls. i was looking for a “Serious” fanfic in the sense it develops on the the themes of the show (while stil being comdic of course) rather than nonsense written by weeaboo virgins and gay sex fanfics. the type of KOTH fanfic i would write. like KOTH in 2014 and bobby being a huge loser and hank being laid off and things just getting slightly more real. increase the good stuff, decrease the dumb stuff like cotton. and there would be a lot about Work and Home.