thurs aug 28 2014

day off. was asleep by 12 am last night. so tired. took a valium and went to fun social activity. thank GOD. ate delicious crispy golden brown fried wing dings. could not stay up past midnight if i wanted to. slept till like 11:30. therefore, i need at least 11 hours of sleep a night and should go to bed 12 hours before wakeup time of 6.20 am, ie go to bed at 6.20 pm, ie which is the exact time i get home from work. get home from work and go IMMEDIATELY to bed just for an 8 hour day of work. that’s normalfag as hell right there!

today drank coffee and played around on the internet. got to make some cigarettes, i am all out. got to go for 5 miles powerwalk. making some fresh mp3s to listen to. discovered one of my favorite bloggers has been outed for his racist views and is really being crucified by the liberal media, and it’s getting real ugly, they are trying to kill his wife’s career. and showing pictures of him and his wife and their real names and so on. Well, I stand with him and his family. I’m with you buddy, always have been. This is your time to shine. this is the beginning. i am happy and excited about this. I will buy several copies of your book for me and my loved ones. you have been influential to me as i struggle to overcome my own loserness. I really like how you coach people to become winners in life. You Are An Inspiration To Me.

Anyway I didn’t know his wife was so powerful and successful and it’s not terribly suprising that her run for a political office would bring about this kind of personal mudslinging, character assassination, etc. Prior to this I am sure she made great money and I hope she continues to do so.

GOD BLESS their family.

and now all the anti-racists can say I am a racist only because i am a white loser who is threatened by other races winning and me losing and proving my white weakness even when i have white privilege and am STILL a loser, meaning I must be a SUPER BIG loser, and that whites in general who become racist do so because they not-so-secretly fear that whites are Weaker than Non-Whites. Inferiority complex, bla bla bla.

who cares, it doesn’t matter! I am just not ashamed of my own race and like to defend my race from people who speak ill of it.

ok. went for 3.2 mile powerwalk, beautiful day. now its 4.33 pm. gotta make some cigs and go to bed soon. hehehehe. get 12 hours of sleep. big day of work tomorrow.  my last day of work was real slow and chill as I was switched from phones, to doing a nonphones project. it was like night and day. to go from doing phones all day, to doing no phones all day. i wish the job were more of a constant happy medium between those two extremes. like how about 4 hours of phones, then 4 hours of nonphone projects for everyone?

but I’m not the boss, I can’t make those decisions for myself. if it were my own company then i could.

WITHSTAND. get 12 hours of sleep a night.

but yeah. say i had an emergency. I would have to quit my job, because the job takes up all my time and mental and physical resources. i wouldn’t have enough left over to deal with an emergency AND go to the job.

like people who caretake elderly relatives. how do THEY hold down a job, if not through being super strong and resilient?????

meanwhile i need 12 hours of sleep just to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND an 8 hour day!

so you do what you have to do you say. desperate times call for desperate measures.

ok. gotta focus. stop being lazy and start making cigarettes, i am all out, and i need to smoke a lot of cigarettes for my job because it’s stressful and when you get a 15 minute break or 30 minute lunch, damn right you’re going to be smoking cigarettes on it, and there are a lot of smokers there. like 50% of the workers are smokers.

saturday aug 30 2014

labor day weekend has started. yesterday went for 33 minute powerwalk, watched king of the hill, and went to BED at NINE pm even though i had the next day OFF and could hypothetically go out and PARTY if i wanted.

and then slept a full 13 to 14 hours, unaided by nyquil or valium or anything. just slept and slept.  just because. i would be physically unable to sleep this much on a normal work night even if i went to sleep the SECOND i arrived home from work. because there are not enough hours in the day. i could possibly get 11 hours of sleep at the most, not 12 or 13 or 14 like i just got.

so the other day i was not doing phone calls and that was pretty chill. the day after that (yesterday) i was back to phone calls all day. and it was a relatively easy day, better than most, not terrible call volume, sometimes several minutes between calls, and most importantly not weird issues, stuff that i’d seen before and knew mostly how to deal with. so, better than average day, and I STILL slept 13 hours. what the f is wrong with me.

well on my first of three days off i am rediscovering the joys of “avant-garde” “jazz” “latin” “hipster” guitarist Marc Ribot

(here’s a fun vidya of him with one of his groups “los cubanos postizos”. looks like a real fun night. it is inspiring to see 60 year old men rocking out so hardcore. this would be a guy worth seeing live, but he only plays big decadent cities where everyone has ivy league masterz degrees and hip yuppie SWPL careerz.)

instead of trying to find a new job.