july 31

cut lawn, watched tv show, went for 4.8 mile powerwalk, 99 minutes, nice, watching tv show, gotta go to bed soon and have a full day of werk tomorrow. oh noes.

try not to get scolded or humiliated. try to withstand.

when a grill b1tches at you for going out with other grillz, tell her that “jealousy is such an immature, unhealthy, insecure emotion” and that her getting jealous is a sign of her own immaturity and insecurity. hehehehe.

read some of one my favorite Practical Politics Writers for the first time in a long time. he is inspiring and great and I thank GOD for him and should really Correspond with him. he has changed men’s lives but motivating, inspiring, and coaching them. he has changed men from losers into winners who are now successful, happy entrepreneurs making over 100k a year and have the freedom to live the lives they want.

he is big on farming and entrepreneurship. he would tell me to quit my job and work on a farm, or go to north dakota to work in oil fields, and save money to start my own business. to do specific kinds of exercises and really get disciplined. stop eating crap food, stop watching tv, go out and live life, take life by the balls, etc. i really like his attitude and he has been very influential to me, wish i could be more like him personally, more assertive and masculine.

and to top it all off, he shares my far right wing politics hehehe. a real mensch.

so it was good to read him. he needs to write less and talk more. on my talk show he would be the first guest.

not gonna say who he is.

but i need to go into my job with that mindset. and use that mindset to get a better job.

or at least not freak out about my job.

the 4.8 mile powerwalk today was great though, i’ve not had the chance to do that lately and i am real glad i did that. migth try to do it again tomorrow after work. the 4.8 really is way better than the 3.2. markedly. seems like more than 1.6 difference. == 7.72 kilometers. not bad.

5 km = 3.11 miles.  just for future reference.

maybe it is ok to cheat on your gurlfrans and wives. i am watching this tv show where they do it all the time and it’s not a big deal. is that for real? or is this just tv?

just have open nonmonog relz all the time. 4 lyfe. open relz 4 lyfe.

unless you are crazy in luv with the gurl and don’t WANT to date anyone else. i can’t even imagine.

but yes i can imagine, it has happened to me 8 times. i wanted to date them but i never officially did. oh well. life goes on.

normally i am laying face down in bed at this time, now i am typing and using the computer. hope this doesn’t f me up for tomorrow.  i have to work  like a brain surgeon. mentally demanding, grueling even. mentally and emotionally. its like an air traffic controller, hehehehehe.

find a product or service you can sell to rich people.

maybe even buy a franchise of taco bell or mcdonalds or tim hortons or something. but of course those things are not cheap. but you can make some money sometimes off them.

so buy one and have your whole family work there. a true family business.

see, i am screwed now because i only had easy jobs when i was young, instead of sh1tty customer service jobs.

actually the best jobs for a young man to have are masculine jobs like outdoor work and construction. that’s what I SHOULD have done when i was young. or go to north dakota at age 18 when i actually had youth and energy. i could still go now and work until i have a heart attack or get fired for not being able to work hard enough. and pay 900 dollars a night to get a cot in a flophouse with 9000000 violent men on drugs and alcohol, hehehehe.

see those lame excuses? i must call BS on those BS excuses and MAN UP and STOP MAKING EXCUSES and DO SOMETHING. THAT is how you stop being a lazy loser.

hehehe. how about u?

august 2 2014 saturday

day off tomorrow hooray. took one 5 mg valium, first one in over a week. started going for powerwalk but it started thundering and lightning so i came back in. kinda sucked because i wanted to go for a LONG powerwalk. maybe i will go back out there.

damn. brain dead. can’t write anything. job is hard and takes everything out of u. gonna try to watch comedy tv show  for 2 hours then go to bred.

each day gets slightly better and i am getting better though. my new criteria for a good day is, did I majorly screw something up today. or not. the calls can be easy or hard, but did I make any big mistakes is the main thing. if I can get tough calls and still do the right thing on them, that’s all i can ask. namely, keep calm, use my resources, not lean on the higher ups too much, and come to the higher ups at the right time with the right information to get the case sent up to the next level, etc. there are a lot of things to juggle, and still some nerves. it takes a long time to get good at the job, and i am still not there yet. but i have “only” been working there for like 3 solid months, believe it or not. with 2 weeks of “training” on top of that, but really only 3 months of actual work, and I am prob doing pretty good, keeping that in mind. after 4 months I will be even better, at 6 months I will be a boss and not worry at all.

recently saw a concert that was excellent and certainly going on my top 10 list of life concerts, probably top 5, maybe top 3, who knows. rekindling interest in this legendary artist. found some stuff on of recent tour recordings. want something close to what i experienced recently. classic. if you have a chance to go to something like this, DO IT. you will regret not doing it.

also this Twinkle twinkle little rock star is pretty neat, chilled out lullaby versions of popular songs, including some surprisingly good stuff.