july 23 2014 wed

day off tomorrow. oh yeah.

another no easy day. no easy job. i am underpaid and overworked hehehehe. making ok money, more than the average for many people in the area, solid prolebux. but this job is over twice as stressful than my previous job, thus i deserve to make twice as much per hour, and i am not, hehehehe.

took a full valium about 10 mins ago. 5 mg. yeah. the half val just doesn’t do ANYTHING, whereas 5 mg does something. so ok then.

leaving pretty soon to do my social thing thank god. eat some wing dings thank god.

looked for jobz a little the other day. that sucked. i might be able to find a chiller job, maybe, but to get that job to pay 12 bucks an hour, which is the absolute minimum I would accept, seems like a hard job to find.

heh. if i had done better in college i could have been making 40 grand a year, starting manny years ago, and making 50 grand a year now. or making 7o grand like that drunk young f4gg0t who harrassed me in another state recently. suck it f4ggot.

yeah yeah reap what you sow, i GET IT. well damn I sure sowed a LOT, because I’m reaping a lot of sh1t hehehehe. tired of it. but what can i do? find a better job? GO BACK TO SKOOL?!?!?!?!?!

i refuse to go back to skool, don’t want to go back to skool. plus it takes EVERY OUNCE of energy i have to go to this job erry day. driving in rush hour traffic to and from is a BLESSING, a breath of fresh air, compared to the actual job. I would prefer to drive in rush hour traffic for 8.5 hours a day!!!!!!

complain complain complain.


you can complain too.

i am getting better at the job thank god but damn.

every ounce of energy. i get home and eat some food and then go for a 64 minute powerwalk and then go right to bed. got to get 9 hours of sleep to rechrage the batteries for the tuff day to follow, 8.5 hours of mental alertness. you have to be ON all the time, performing for clients. barely any time to take a break. i need a few slow hours, not all fast hours. you get thankful for one or god bless two minutes to just put your head down and take some deep breaths.

as you get better and learn more you can turn your mind off more, which is good.

july 24 day off.

got up around 11 am but then napped till 5 pm or so. no desire to do anything: powerwalk, job search, watch tv, watch movie, read, just wanted to nap peacefully and recharge. now i am up and plan on 66 minute powerwalk, and try to do 60 minutes of cigarette making. then it will be 807 pm and i got to go strraight to BED son. big rough not easy day tomorrow!

but yesterday was fun, went to do a social thing, then came home and watched my comedy show till 1 am or so. not bad. but fun time is over now!

july 31 thurs day off.

wow see how this blog is cutting back. gotta summon ALL energy just to withstand job. be one thing if it were easy, but it is not, it is very mentally challenging and draining and you have no energy at the end of the day and it becomes a choice of do you do a powerwalk to wind down and relieve stress and exercise, or do you just go to bed even earlier to get as much sleep as possible for the next day.

yes i could easily sleep 11 hours every night. every night.

i was thankful to get the morning off so i could go to a long awaited concert, which was great. i got home a lot earlier than anticipated, and got to sleep from like midnight to 11:30 am. and I slept the whole time. had an unfortunate dream about girl8, then had a short and sweet day of work, then today i have my day off, and often i take a big nap, and go to bed at like 7pm, hehehehe.

today i got up “early” at like 1045 am to do some stuff, drank coffee, i’m up now, figure i will stay awake till 6:30 pm and go to sleep then, hehehe, get 12 hours of sleep.

f000k. sechs drive is gone. forced self to look at some pr0nography last night for first time in over a week. that was kinda fun. rekindled the sechs drive briefly. went to bed.

well the good news is that i get along with most of the people at the job pretty well and am even improving relations on some fronts. perhaps earning respect finally. but maybe not, hehehehe. but at least generally getting along better.

and it is a little bit better overall than it was when i first started. hehehe. but i wish it were a lot better. i was expecting chiller work during the summer, but did not get that nearly as much as hoping.

no easy day, hehehehe.

but yeah. hard and challenging and stressful jobs really build the res and more importantly, give you good experience to talk about in future interviews, to hopefully get an easier job.

ok. today. cut lawn, take 4.8 mile powerwalk, go to bed, get 12 hours of sleep hehehehe. maybe look at some prawnography again hehehe.

american born islamic jihadists. now that’s interesting. like this 22 year old kid from florida who became a suicide bomber in syria. not sure what his background was. was his family muslim at all? lamestream media described him as a “college dropout.” this is even worse than a high school dropout, hehehe. because all you can do as a college dropout is hike the appalachian trail, neet kissless virgin, unemployable, underemployed, debt slave, loser, autist, layabout, or glorious honorable jihadist, hehehehe.

like he was american, but maybe his family came from syria when he was young. they won’t mention that part.

or is he just a disillusioned angry young white man? probably NOT. much more likely to be a guy with SOME discernable ties to syria or some benighted islamic country.

heheh. wow look i thought about something other than muh job for 2 minutes.