july 9

damn man. just had first day of WORK. it was easy because we were not taking CALLS. but u better believe i am worried about the calls. we just sat there jerking off all day which was fine, wish we could do that every day, but CALLS are on the horizon. damn. the guy behind me was taking a TON of calls, more than I expected a person to take at this time of year.

rolling out a kinda new piece of software. and it is new to me too. yet it is my JOB to SUPPORT that software that I know nothing about hehehe. well, i know a LITTLE bit, but in many cases have LESS hours of experience in the software than the people who are calling me for HELP in it.

and that has really been the theme of muh job. giving tech support to people who know the software BETTER than I do! because they are supposed to know it, but they don’t, so they call tech support, who are supposed to be huge experts in it! well i got a surprise for ya, sometimes the tech support people are new as f00k, and newer than you! so we have to learn the stuff super fast, which is stressful.

since this is hard to do, often we fake it till we make it, and pretend to have great confidence in our “skills”, when we really have no clue what we’re doing!

and trying not to ask for help from our higher ups because that puts our job in jeopardy!

yet many people here have College Degrees and are drowning in Student Loan Debt and can’t afford to move out of their parents house. yet they have to settle for this job you don’t need a degree for. it makes me not feel like such a loser because then we’re all losers working here with our degrees.

and if there were somewhere we could make more money then we would go there. but unless you are a real hotshot you can’t. and EVERYONE needs a job, and by pure numberz bell curve, the majority of people are NOT hotshots!

so it was essential that i come home and walk a 4.8 mile powerwalk. i usually do 3.2 miles at a time, but time constraints made me do the whole thing at once. and it was real good, that final 1.6 miles was necessary to kind of take the edge off the stress. i.e, no 3.2 miles would not have been enough. 4.8 was necessary.

try to do it again tomorrow. do it erry day i work.

signed up for 3 days on, one day off, 2 days on, one day off. this might go over like a lead balloon but we had to turn in our schedule bids today and that’s what i had down. because working 5 on, 2 off is no walk in the park either. NO EASY DAY, hehehehehehehehehehehehehe.heh.

the cute blond girl i thought had found a new job was in fact there. so i could still potentially bang her. it would be nice. but for some reason i was not feeling too horny. yeah usu when i go there i am freaking out and totes lose the sex drive. going to have to bust out the VALIUM soon. might get calls on monday. maybe even friday.

welp. just do 60% the best i can, if they don’t like it, they can lay me off.

when i have a day off i want to take the valium just to see what effect it has and if i could possibly Work On It, or if that would be like going to work Drunk and Obvious.

hehehehehe it’s essentially like taking a math test for 8 hours straight where you don’t get time to study the concepts or do homework or be taught them, and you’re timed on every question, and people are sweating you, and you can’t ask for help hehehehehe, and other people say you don’t know how to do your job if you don’t get the problem right hehehehe.

no this is an exaggeration. this would be like the worst day on the job times 10.  but it is an exaggeration based in reality.

well i am not AS nervous about taking calls as i was the very first time i took calls in like january. at that time i REALLY needed the valium!

anyway i think the 3 on, 1 off, 2 on, 1 off, might actually be a good thing because after 5 days on, 2 days off is not enough. you need a greater frequency of breaks in other words. a break from the calls.

but since the alternative to calls all day is not having a job, then you just take yer valiumz and take the calls. it builds character. builds resume.

but the 4.8 mile powerwalk afterwards is def necessary to clear the mind. in the winter i did not do that, which prob contributed to me being all freaked out.

welp better go to bed.

well the good news is, it seems chiller perhaps just because it is summer and people are in a better mood.

also, it is a stone cold truth that even the CALLS will be chiller because…..Q1 is our busy time with a lot of big deadlines that are just not an issue in q3. there is less URGENCY on the problems that is.

but the sh1t hits the fan again in january.

and that is another good thing about being off thursday, is i can easily sched an interview for that day, as opposed to sat or sun.

some places will FIRE you if they find out you went on an interview for another job. how fooked up is that? companies have a hardon for firing people for ANY reason. it is amazing ANYONE stays employed for longer than 3 months, hehehehe. yet people are able to stay with their jobs for years and years. maybe they are just superior human beings, hehehehe. or their jobs are superior, hehehehe. elite. harvard. f4gg0ts.

how about valiumz and w33d. nice.

heh. how about benzos becoming my new alcohol.

the good news is that am seated in a good area, around smart people who can help me. it is ok to ask your fellow minions for help, so it is good to be seated near smart minions. and also i am next to my Friend so that is good.

also i held the door for people and tried to make an impression as a Nice Friendly Guy.

yes i am gonna smoke more cigarettes. i already said that. cost of doing business hehehehe.

did voice recordings to and from. that was kewl.

i really should try to infiltrate the cliques even though i don’t like them. really it’s just one woman who is like their ringleader. neutralize her and then boom. so, i guess try to get on her good side. not gonna kiss her A too much, but at the very least, never let her find out i don’t like her, hehehehe.

and everyone seemed pretty nice today, so that was good. i tried to smile and make eye contact and use a friendly tone of voice and ask “wh-” questions and be agreeable.

tried to not be afraid to ask neighbors questions and to gradually get them to like me. it IS important to get them to like me since i will be spending 40 hours a week near them chrissakes. listening to their jokes about animu and manga and vidya and gaming machines and motherboards and gigahertz and video cards and league of legends and other kissless virgin stuff. i appreciate the kissless virgin subculture, it is pretty chill. and they are always making crude jokes and they know their stuff, so, i think and hope i got a good seat here.

yep ideally find a new job by january. but again the question: how big of a pay cut would i be willing to take?

heh. funny question that. usually the question is, how much MORE money can i make elsewhere.

you know you are desperate to leave a job when you ask, how much LESS would I be willing to make?


may GOD have mercy on mah soul.