july 7

“how to ask your doctor for medical cannabis”

well, the doc prob canNOT just write YEP I APPROVE on a prescription pad. it has to be a letter i think, but def NOT a prescription pad.

i guess i could get my medical records faxed over to a medical mj-friendly docker and have him sign off on that.

same states will not let you have for derp or anx, you gotta have cancer, aids, glaucoma, crhonic back pain, etc.

july 8

well tomorrow is the day. big day. life ends. this all ends. it’s over. sh1t gets REAL. will not get to write another post for like 10 months, hehehehe. maybe fed 2015 or so.

well at least i have some valium and a sh1tload of paxil to help me cope, hehehe.

i forgot where i heard the wives tale: it takes as long as you were with a person, to fully get over that person once it’s over. 1 times as long, or HALF as long. for me it would be much closer to 100% than 50% hehehehe.

and i was in luv with girl7 for at least three solid years, more like 3.5.  from age 26 to 29. so uhhhh…. anyway i might have to tack on an extra year to fully get over her and stop having stupid dreams entirely. so, how about fall 2015. ok fine. during that time i will work on my blog i mean career and masterz degree hehehe.

the average income of fully employed american is 40k a year? hehehehe. maybe. i sure aint making that. yet.

today i want to make as many cigarets as possible, at least 50.

true luv is scary and weird and crazy. it feelz like a desperate need, like you can’t live without the person. you would make all sorts of bargains and sacrifices to keep that person, by any means necessary, including changing things about yourself: quitting drugs, quitting alcohol, getting a better job, getting a masterz degree, disavowing all your friends, good things and bad things both, but all BIG things. when they dump you you are heartbroken and have weird dreams about them for the next 10 years. it is a big, risky investment.

but you do it because you need the eggs, hehehehehehe.

i mean, you do it because you’ve built it up in your MIND as the greatest thing in the world; that if you could just get this gril to say yes and be with you and ideally fall in luv with you too, you would be together for life, have kidz, be the happiest people in the world. bla bla bla.

now many will disagree with me and say this is infatuation, not love. love is calm, love is NOT crazy, love ebbs and flows, love is gentle and kind, love is not like some Manic Bipolar Episode hehehehe. love is compromising, love is settling, love is take it or leave it, love is i don’t really care about this boring broad, hehehehe.

well might as well get some cards in, won’t be able to do this for 10 more months. play top 14 hands only.

the SWINGS are too rough. that’s the word you use. the SWINGS. up and down too goddam violently. that’s the nature of the game, and it can never be changed. i need to find a gentler game to gamble on. unfort NLHE is by far the most prominent gambling game in the universe.

find a game with MUCH less SWINGS, and i’d play it. but still some level of skill over pure luck mind you.

used my musicbee media player to find a streaming radio station of electronic – chillout – downbeat. just searched the “CHILLOUT” tag. DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!

i fully support you going to electronic music dance parties and Scoring with cute young gurls on drugz.

better site, same station. 3 stations of various smoooooth chillout hehehehe. NICE.

heh. one of my managers is big into electronic music, i should use that to bond with him. he doesn’t even seem like a huge douchebag either, but a beta male shy niceguy. how’d HE get to be a manager? deinitely friend him up!

i can guarantee he does not do well with the ladeez, but at least he is semigainfully employed. he prob deserves to make more though. i bet all my superiors do not make as much money as i think they do. anyway he deserves to do better with the ladeez, and pull real QT youngins.  but because he is quiet and beta, never mind that he’s a MANAGER with a decent job, he prob can only pull gross hambeasts. too bad, so sad.

step yo GAME up n199a!

I REFUSE to get stuck with a hambeast!

and so do you!!!!

getting used to being with hambeasts will turn you off of WOMEN!

and then you lonely beat off to porno and think wow, some women are actually attractive, but also dirty degenerate wh0res!

it doesn’t HAVE to be that way!

yes. def gotta listen to moar electronic music on a daily basis, pref of the chillout or lounge variety, hehehe. kinda confusing and intimidating all the genres though. hard for the newb.

there has GOT to be someone who does Chill Out Remixes of classical music. or chant. hehehehe. lemme find that for you now….


there have GOT to be electronic dance clubs in the nearest city to you. i’m not talking necessarily about random “dance clubs” with drunk idiots, but places dedicated to having good dance music and supporting the Electronic DJ scene, and then dancing of course will come with the good music. a place with actual DJs and not f4gg0t wannabe djs.

find these places and dance with the gurls and then bang them in hortelz.