july 2

oh yeah. had a dream last night featuring girl1. i never have dreams about her. this dream was fairly pleasant, i was just sitting on a couch cuddling with her and we started making out for the first time. it was a fun drawn out make out session. i wished it could go on forever. i could make out with her for at least 9000 hours straight. and to think we would probably have sechs at some point after that! wowee!

but after a few mere hours she had to go.

by this time it was 4 am and i had to go home. my family would probably be livid because they would be worried sick about me getting drunk or arrested. i was not looking forward to going home to that! but it was pretty worth it to get all that hot makeout action.

the end.

heh. for the record, i never made out with girl1. i had no idea how to flirt with gurls i liked at that time and made no progress with her whatsoever. i already lost my mind over her without even spending much one on one hangout time with her. so in other words, no sechs, no makeout, no dates; i never made enough of a move to even get rejected!

what a good learning experience there!!!!

did i mention i saw a really cute shorthaired gurl at the place yesterday and i wouldn’t mind dating her? oh yes i did mention that. wish i knew her name so i could look her up on facebook hehehehe. i would have gladly made out with her. a lot of women i dont want to get too close to their filthy face, i just want to bend them over and plow them from behind, but absolultey no making out.

so porn empowers belle knox yet she is selling her onw fleshlight type masterbater that says “f00k my big juicy lips” or something, and has some great vidyas of her getting choked, slapped, and facef00ked. i watched the vidyas because they were hot and stimulating, but i didn’t find them particularly empowering to women!

i just don’t care any more! who cares. it doesn’t matter.

heh. i care more about banging gurls than i do about jobs, career, or education. that is valid.

men can be interested in both short term and long term rels with women.

modern empowered feminist women like to think that emulating men’s desire for short term as well as long term relationships is empowering to them.

but it really makes them cray cray.

short term rels are inherently harmful to women.

short term rels are not inherently anything to men.

short term rels are therefore much more risky to women.

modern feminist women just do not understand this. and go cray cray from taking too manny cox in too many short term rels.

men typically do not want the same type of women for short term rels vs long term. if men want a short term rel and the woman is more of a long term gurl, then the ethical thing to do, is the man should say sorry babe, you are going to get hurt here, so i’m gonna let ya go right now.

and god have mercy on your soul if you are beta and desperate enough to want a short term woman for a long term rel! Then SHE will reject you after the short term!

hey ok. lemme do the world a favor because i don’t think i saw this anywhere on the internet. well except for

where i first got it, but the way the data is presented kinda sucks. i will repackage it thusly:

Starting Hand:                      Expected Value:

AA         2.32

KK         1.67

QQ         1.22
JJ         0.86
AK s    0.78
AQ s    0.59
TT        0.58
AK       0.51
AJ s    0.44
KQ s    0.39
99        0.38
AT s    0.32
AQ      0.31
KJ s    0.29
88       0.25
QJ s    0.23
KT s    0.20
A9 s    0.19
AJ       0.19
QT s    0.17
KQ       0.16
77       0.16
JT s     0.15
A8 s    0.10
K9 s    0.09
AT       0.08
A5 s    0.08
A7s     0.08
KJ        0.08
66        0.07
T9 s     0.05
A4 s    0.05
Q9 s    0.05
J9 s    0.04
QJ       0.03
A6 s   0.03
55       0.02
A3 s   0.02
K8 s   0.01
KT      0.01

heck i only like to play JTs or above, and that might even be too loose!!!!!

july 3

welp. 6 days. then i really start working. it will be good because then i will be being productive and making money. it will be bad because i will be freaking out and giving up even moar hope hehehe.

but i see the doc in 4 days and will hopefully get zoloft, buspar, and xanax. that is the gameplan. to help me cope with life, and get a high paying degree from bla bla college.

that was great. i saw the best college commercial recently: are you worried college is not worth the investment? (YES!!!!) well our grads in our bioinformatics and bal bla data management programs go on to starting salaries of 65k! 78k! 71k! 68k! 81k! and they showed a bunch of really happy students smiling wide, like they should be if they are starting off making 65k with a bachelors.

that commercial really sold me. that is what i care about.

although it was funny that some of the bachelors degrees made more than the one masterz degree they were advertising.

so how truthful was this ad? how do you get these high paying jobs?

do only 1% of the grads get these jobs, and the other 99% get sh1tty tech support help desk jobs and remain 100k in debt for 40 years? if so, no college for me, you lying f4ggots!!!! lying liars! lords of lies!!!! LIARS!!!!

heh. saw a 15 year old gurl at the restaurant the other day and she was so cute. again this brings up The Protective, Loving aspect, along with the sensual aspect. it is not like i want to raep 15 year olds! but of course the law prevents me from dating 15 year olds, hehehe, and even if it didn’t, the 15 year olds would find me way too old.

so for that raft of complications, i am perfectly fine with dating 18 year olds, hehehehe. but by then they are totally crazy from too much c0q hehehehe, and they will give themselves away for free to lads their own age, but never to older losers, hehehe.

so, don’t do ANYTHING illegal. i do not endorse, condone, or support ANY illegal activities.