june 28

uhh march of grade 16b2. i was 22 years old. things looked real good with girl3. i was now in luv with her and had successfully erased gurl2 from my mind. girl3 was superior in every way. might get to have an official first gurlfran now, and girl3 would fit that role a lot better than girl2, that immature little brat!

and i was still doing good in skool thank god. with graduation 2 months away.

i should have been focused as f00k on grad skool or getting a job, living in the career center, lining up a job to start the day after graduation, but nOoOoOoOo. i felt i was busy enough getting good grades, being a good student (but i should have been a much better student!!!!) and i had my hands full with girl3, thinking about her, being in crazy luv with her.

then in early april she “dumped” me, rather, said that we should ease off, because it looked like i wanted a Rel, and she wasn’t sure about wanting a Rel with me. O Great.

I remember it was snowy as f00k. i had gone over to visit Girl3 and was really looking forward to a night of making out and cuddling and spending the night with her. i didn’t even CARE about having SECHS, just a night of cuddling an dmaking out would have been good for now.

then i went back to my house and got a bottle of Canadian Club and got WASTED. it wasn’t till later that I realized the full magnitude. i was in complete denial. I thought I was gonna hang out with her next weekend and spend the night and make out and build our happy Rel. Nope. No more cuddling, no more rel, no more fingerbangs, and absolutely no real bangs!

and that was the last time i fingerbanged a gril. and i haven’t had official bang since banging girl2 at age……21. yep. hehehe.

oh boy i was pissed at girl3 now. how dare she f00k everything up like this.

good news is i managed to get a’s in all my classes. finished off the skoolterm pretty good. i even made a last-minute, 13th hour attempt to build rels with two profs, because i just finally realized that you needed to build rels with profs to get into grad skool.

somehow i managed that. only one of those really worked out. and one prof is ultimately not enough to get you into grad skool. you need at least three good ones.

i stuck around for the summer to see if i could find a job near the skool. i found kinda a crappy job that was not a great first post college job. temporary. but it was fun and stressless!

i also did a little work for the prof I mentioned above.

but now i let my professional work get sidetracked by the stress over gurls. you see, i was still trying to get girl3 back. and then she moved into my big house. like 30 people in the house, it wasn’t too weird. well it WAS weird to me!

so i sweet talked her and got her making out with me again, spent a few nights together, still no banging, should have banged her though, that might have made her like me more, might have made her stay, and certianly in hindsight, i wanted bangs.

but it was just an even more dramatic repeat of what had happened a few months before. she wanted to keep her options open and hang out with her x boifran. i warned her to not make the same mistake i did, and to start building relationships with her profs NOW if she wanted to get into grad skool. she ended up doing a phd program and probably has the phd by now, hehehehe.

so things did not work out and i saw her almost every day. got real passive agresssive and angry to her. around this time girl2 popped back into the picture completely unexpected, at her initiation. i was like oh. maybe this is finally it. maybe things will work with girl2 now. because i could rekindle those feels real fast.

so we started making out again, foolishly i did not bang her though i totes could have.

then there was “phone trouble” again. then i went with my man friend to swim at the lake on a warm summer day and saw her there hanging out one on one with some guy. they passed us going out as we were coming in. that kinda sealed the deal in my book. i mean she was a real cute gurl and tons of guys thought so. she was OBVIOUSLY real cute, not some weird hidden cuteness where it takes a special guy to see her cuteness. nope.

so i was upset and stopped calling her. and stuff was not working with Girl3 at this time either. i felt rejected on both fronts and was dirnking nmore. NOT focusing on getting a better job.

and THEN girl4 entered the picture right then. i was convinced she was The One, she was better than girl2 and girl3, she was a better match with me because she wasn’t a crazy wh0re. in fact she was very virginal and never hung out with guys, gave off a real asexual virgin vibe, much like girl7.

so i fell in luv with girl4 pretty hard, and also made friends with her friends. but i wasn’t thinking straight and my flirtations with her were pretty bad, making a fool of myself drinking too much.

so girl4 was not interested, neither was girl2 or 3. but i spent the rest of the summer working on and pining for girl4, while occasionally ranting against girl3. at least i didn’t have to SEE girl2!

then i stuck around for the fall, and if i didn’t find something better then, then i would come home to boomerang with the fam as a Failure.

I still pined after Girl4 because she was honest friends with MY honest friends.

this WHOLE time, from the time that I first met Girl2 the previous summer, Girl8 lived right down the street, and I should have pursued her instead of all these other gurls. but i was too consumed by girls 2, 3, and 4, i didn’t notice girl8 right under my nose.

and she is girl8 not girl5, because i didn’t realize i was in luv with her until i started having weird dreams about her in 2013, hehehe.