june 24?

maybe parents should be allowed to bring their kids with them to work? but the kids have to behave???

but i think some kids COULD “behave”, and also learn the useful skill of work while they are at it, and by the time they are 13 they could do their parent’s JOB.

but it is a TRAGEDY and a TRAVESTY that probably the best thing is for children to be with their parents as much as possible, but the necessity of WORK keeps children and parents apart!

which is why i like the stay at home mother concept so much.

but what about the father? ideally it would be both parents Working At Home. and Working At Home does seem to be growing, so that may be a good thing actually, for child raising.

heh. and i had a stay at home mother too! and look how i turned out! a huge loser screwup!

of course that kind of negative self talk proves you have very little true confidence in yourself! you should be constantly saying, i am a huge boss! i am a huge boss!

ANYTHING to build confidence in those early years. 3, 4, 5 years old.

if your kid is not confident as an alpha boss by those early ages, take him out of his poisonous skool, quit your career, and teach him martial arts 8 hou hours a day, get him away from those 4sshole kids and teachers, yeah you can develop his social skills by having a carefully vetted play date etc. but make sure your kid is confident as a boss by 5 years of age, which may be difficult if he is especially sensitive. born sensitive. hehehehe.

right now i still have interests, quite a few, but i just don’t have the energy to pursue them fully. i have bought a ton of books i never read. reading an entire book is a huge challenge. i just bought that unschooling book, and worry i will not do more than skim through it breifly.

heh. it is like i lose interest in everything after a while. except for blogging or writing. i tried to pinpoint what i was INTERESTED in, curious in, wanted to learn, when i was super young and my desire to learn had not been crushed.

well, by the time i was 13, i was obsessed with writing this story about true love. the beta boy dating a nice gurl.

well, see, that’s puberty. what was i interested in BEFORE GURLS???????????

that is harder to remember. the memory is not so clear because it seems i got interested in gurls so young.

but definitely music, movies, dinosaurs, some writing, and also i used to make up RIDICULOUS stories on my little tape recorder. doing silly voices and characters.

what were the stories about? well the main one i remember i did with my friend and it was RIDICULOUS. hilarious though. it was about a little boy who wanted to go see big bird with sesame street live, but his mom couldn’t take him, so they hired a babysitter, who was a totally f00ked up on drugs vagrant pedophile off the streets, hahahaha. he then molested the boy by making him stick his wee wee in a circular toilet brush. the boy did not realize he was being molested and just laughed “it tickles mister, it tickles!”

and this was meant to be funny, and i still think it IS hilarious. i was never molested, yet for some reason, i always had a sick sense of humor!

so the vagrant is all fooked up and they go to the show and big bird sings a ridiculous song that i think was based off bits of woody allen and calvin and hobbes, whom i was already being influenced by. i had to be at least 12 years old at this time, i was not super young.

woody allen is not a great influence, calvin and hobbes was a good choice though.

i also liked metal music. my fam thought that gave me my bad attitude, and i wonder. it prob contributed, but at the same time it was cathartic also.

it would not have hurt to listen to some more upbeat stuff for sure, but i don’t think all the metal was solely to blame.

like i remember being in 5th or 6th grade, like 11 years old, and listening to metallica “master of puppets” nonstop. like several times a day. that was the album man.

but i also liked some rap hehehe. but i shoulda listened to more variety of stuff like i do now, like jazz and classical and classic rock and electronic and everything. well i think i did listen to some classical, and my chant album of course, hehehehe.


so before i was interested in gurls….wowl not much.

i do remember i had an unhealthy interest in gross violence and as early as 2nd grade, would draw very disturbing pictures, that, if they got noticed, would probably have gotten me sent to a shrink. which may have helped!

possibly started out with pcitures of dinosaurs impaling people on their horns, later freddy krueger slashing people with his claws, or evil clowns, stabbing and shooting and killing. why would a 6 to 8 year old draw all those horrible pictures? this is a clue right here I’m thinking.

possibly it reflected my frustration at skool and being with the idiots so much every day.