june 13

ok i went to the store and got some act flouride rinse to see if it would improve muh teeth because i am paranoid about getting cavities or gum disease. but i hate flossing. i also got some little “interdental brushes” which i thought might be better than floss. can’t seem to get them to go fully between the teeth. not sure if they are intended to be a perfect substitute / alternative to floss.

also got some floss picks to try to practice those some more.

put the floss in your BEDROOM NOT THE BATHROOM so you can floss while laying in bed or watching tv and do it nice and lesiurely.

i also got a big brush for the shower with like a 1 foot long handle. my main priority is to scrub the skin rather than wash it per se, and i only wash the skin with soap 2 or 3 times a week, so i can take advantage of the Natural Skin Oils. i have been using an Exfoliating Pad but it is getting worn out so I wanted to try something new, a brush in particular. pretty excited to try this one out.

how about you.

when i was on my adventure, i met at least two nice young men whom i got along with instantly and easily. they both talked about Psychedelics as instrumental in setting them on their life paths, and both were well-adjusted, healthy, happy, fairly successful people worth emulating. lots of talk of terrence mckenna, who i haven’t thought about in years, and their own experiences with mushrooms, lsd, “molly”, and the one guy even tried ayahuasca in a large group guided by a spiritual/trip leader.

i have long been interested in these as a way of personal and spiritual awakening etc and am curious to try a psychedelic again as a way to perhaps open my eyes, start a new chapter, get over muh block. but it is hard to get the privacy i need, real hard, almost impossible. but once i do, I WILL be trying something. either a small dose of shrooms, or small dose of lsd.

warning: i think ssris and ad’s can interact with mushrooms and/or mollie so you die from serotonin syndrome. but not lsd i don’t think. i could be wrong. so lay off your serotonin meds before taking.

so, i think psychedelics can be a useful thing in helping you Find Your Path, maaaaaan. just be very careful.

you should be in a safe, calm setting with people you trust. this can be a tall order. i would almost recommend doing it alone as long as you trusted yourself not to jump to your death, which i hear acid gives you the urge to jump from windows. so don’t do that.

get a subscription to an actual paper magazine that you can get every month. it is way more fun to read a magazine or a book or something printed on paper, than it is to read a computer or phone or kindle.

try to get a good deal of course, nothing super expensive. i was thinking something political and or business related. and also something smart. i was reading “the atlantic” which this leftist guy had, and while it makes you feel smart and sophisticated, it is also leftist marxist poison in the extreme, so i cannot possibly recommend it. just like the nation, or harpers, that kinda sh1te.

so i was thinking of getting a sub to national review or something hehehe.

and so should you! reading is so much better than looking at the tv or computer and you should do everything you can to get yourself to READ MOAR.

ive heard anecdotes that cocaine makes you feel super confident, outgoing, like a god, very powerful. was also thinking about experimenting with a tiny bit of cocaine at some point.

june 14

had a dream featuring NotQuiteGirl9A? I think it was A. dream of course increases her stock. dream makes me wish i’d taken her out on a nice date or something. but at the time i thought she was too “Stumpy” and had no 4ss. but she was nice and smart and nerdy. and she wasn’t THAT stumpy and it wasn’t that she had NO 4ss, it was just SMALL. i would make out, cuddle, and bang her, without it being weird and gross, which is way more than I can say for some unfortuantely. well, at least a dream about her isn’t gonna ruin my day. like with gurl 7 or 8. in fact it might be a good thing. it’s not like nqg9a doesn’t still live around here, and she hasn’t rejected me yet!

plus i don’t think she ever had her promiscuous phase, which I agree that wimmin should never have, so that’s another plus.愼栠敲㵦栢瑴㩰⼯灯湥献潰楴祦挮浯愯瑲獩⽴礳㉙啧䥣橳牍核潪ㄵ潐㡊㸢桔⁥浓瑩獨⼼㹡

also, all wimminz 4sses get bigger as they get older, so if you think her 4ss is too small now…..JUST WAIT.

when you make your top 40 party dance mix 4 gurls, actually try listening to it yourself and you might be pleasantly surprised. have your own party sans gurls. f00k gurls. they’re stupid and they get too old too fast. and they always reject you hehehe. gurls R no fun!!!

i don’t really want to ever have to dump a gurl, but if I HAVE to, I really hope I have the guts to actually DO it.

how about u.

heh. i kinda wish the old frand i saw. i can’t stop thinking about him and girl8, i kinda wish he would tell girl8 to get ahold of me because i told him i was in luv with her, hehehe. needless to say, i would rather marry or date or bang girl8 than notquitegirl9a.

how about you?



june 13

serious, honest question. have you ever been the dumper and not the dumpee? easy, unambiguous yes or no.

i certainly have not!!!

heh. now i am thinking about my old friend who i took the trip with who Dated Girl8 which I just found out. he is an interesting case because he is both a very nice sweet sensitive emotional guy, but he is VERY popular with the ladies, he is an alpha male in terms of his pick with the ladies, he has Dated plenty of Gurls, and I believe he has Dumped his fair share of gurls because they weren’t working out for him, another sure sign of a True Alpha Male:

Do You CHOOSE the Gurls you date? Do you DUMP gurls who aren’t working out?

or are you resigned to let them choose you, and then do you get dumped by them, because you have no options, no choice, no agency, nothing but desperation for just being with a gurl?

in fact, I am pretty sure he Dumped gurl8 and caused her a bit of Emotional Hurt, imagine that. the gurl I was/am in luv with and want to get married to and have children with!

so it doesn’t hurt my opinion of this great guy, but I do remain a teensy bit jealous of His Exciting, Fun, Happy Life. also, when he faces problems as we all inevitably do, he faces them with courage and optimism and a good attitude. that is very admirable. I encouraged him to become a salesman and make 200k a year, or to become a Touring Life Coach Motivator like Tony Robbins.

anyway i don’t really want to ever have to dump a grill, because I know all too well how much it hurts to get dumped because you like them more than they like you……… but I would hope that if I were ever in that situation where it would really be in my best interest to dump a grill, that I would have the BALLS to do it. of course, getting sucked into that situation of being WITH the gurl in the first place, out of desperation and loneliness, just because she pursued YOU, that’s pretty gutless as well.

ok ok just in the interests of clarification and standardization:

Girl8 is a thing, I liked her more than other grills around the time she became girl8, such as:

NotQuiteGirl9A: uh we’ll say this is this blond straight haired nerdy girl I didn’t dislike but didn’t really go hnnnng for but had a few dreams about but still not as good as girl8

notquitegirl9b: here’s a bit of a change from what i’ve said before. this will be this super skinny gurl with beautiful curly/wavy blond hair. she was super nice and real cute and i saw her in the supermarket parking lot in december 2013 and mentioned it in a post. cuter and hnnnger than nqg9a. squeaky voice and vaguely reminds me of Girl3.

NotQuiteGirl9C: ok this is my female friend who I get along very well with and people might think we have a thing but we don’t. i really hope she is not secretly in luv with me, and it is also frustrating that I don’t go hnnnnggg for her because we get along so well and she would be a great mother of muh children. but i am not in crazy luv with her, and forcing myself to have S with her would be gross and weird. but she’s not even Ugly!!!! so, pretty weird and frustrating.

NotQuiteGirl9D: Gurl I wanted to bang the most at my New Job. blond hair, kinda tomboyish, glasses, Great little Body. i think she got a new job so even if i go back i will never see her again. but i would totes be interested in taking her out on 3 dates in a bid to get sechs from her hot bod and maybe see if we get along.

heh. when my old frand put up some pics on fb of the event we went too, i saw one of the “likes” on the photo was the notorious Girl2, from 10 years ago, the gurl i came closest to having a “normal” “rel” with, in that I liked/luved her intensely, and we were able to Consummate that. a little. but not nearly enough. not NEARLY enough. and it took a very long time to get over her. years. anyway she got married like 5 years ago and took her husbands name, but when i saw her name today, she had changed it back to her unmarried name. which makes me think maybe she got divorced. who knows.

so i’d still luv to bang her 100 times. maybe even if she has kids. prob doesn’t though. might. she went to Top Graduate Skool in a Very Womanly Field and thus is prob one of the few to make a decent living in the field.

heh. maybe i can marry her now, hahahaha. i mean f00k we only sorta “went out” for like 3 weeks. but during the height of those 3 weeks i felt like quite a normalfag boss. banging a young prime of youth qt. but not nearly enough.

anyway she dumped me of course hehehehe. becaues i was jealous and immature and didn’t want her banging other guys, hahaha. no only somewhat true, i was just not man enough and too much of a spineless cowardly beta not taking decisive action.

of course if girl8 got in touch with me, i would rather get with her than girl2 again, hehehe.

or i could just bang notquitegirl9d’s great t1t5 and 4ss.



june 12

so i do need to Jump On It, and Get Deep In The Action re New Job Search, because things are not looking good re the stupid job i was hoping to get called back to. heard a bunch of the higher ups left and the sh1t really hit the fan. restructuring and whatnot.

so it will prob take a week to get the 10 or 12 puffs of wiid i took over the week out my my system.

oh yeah part of the fun we had was to develop a new language full of ridiculous phrases that were repeated many many times throuhgout the week. can’t say the most obvious ones for anonymity purposes, but “deep in the action” was a good example which i look forward to using in my day to day life.

anyway. point is. job search. ok. gotta go to temp office. use the new social skills i was able to observe. look for english tutoring jobs, private skool jobs, chess tutor jobs, maybe math tutor at like mathnasium or something becuase the college is not hirin math tutors, and if they were, it would only be part time at 9 bucks an hour.

because math tutor is a stepping stone job, hehehehe.

but you might meet an ambitious young man who can get you a fulltime assistant job at his company. hehehe. i met several such ambitious young men and was able to hide my nonambition well enough to talk to them like a normalfag and have fun with then. so you can too.

i even confessed i was lazy and really didn’t want to do a masters degree until i was convinced it would really Add Value. then kinda bullsh1tted that my ideal masters degree would be “an intersection of information science, information security, computer science, and math.”

which really is not too far off from the truth!!!! with a job in that field you could make way more than the loser threshold of 36k a year, and prob enough for lower middle class…..if not middle middle class! and as we said before, i am a huge SUCKER for middle class women. despite my heart always being with the working class.

put post it notes on the wall by your bed to remind you of the things you need to do. to do list, if you will.

clean your room with dusting and vacuuming once every three months.

exercise is more important than writing or blogging or really just about anything else except for straight up paid work.

try to listen to music more. use spotify or whatever to make a Party Mix of crowd pleasing songs, with like 5% of the weird songs you like to listen to that would not be crowd pleasers. try to keep the songs under 10 minutes hehehe. hip hop hits from the 90s are always a good idea. will smith. and nothing too deep or weird, we are looking for songs that people actually sort of know. with weird new stuff at only 5 to 10% to BOIL THE FROG and subtly peak the interest but not overwhelm.

heh. i was talking to this guy who was getting rip roaring drunk, he was an absolutely hilarious and wild and crazy guy, unfortunately also a leftist but i can get along with leftists regardless, who had a pretty sweet tutoring/coaching job with no masters degree, and we briefly talked about my situation and how it compared to the situation he was in a year ago, before he got this new job in a new town and his life did a 180. talked briefly about masters degrees, i tried to spin things to make myself sound confident and normal, when he asked me what is my passion, what have i loved doing ever since i was 2 years old, and i struggled in answering that question, before saying the usual about writing and film, possib documentaries. then spun it towards my thing about “info science with comp sci and math.” which he agreed sounded bretty good. but he was getting epic drunk at the time off a ridic bacardi 151 drank.

june 12

Homework 4 You: go to spotify and create a new playlist called something like Social Fun Mix So You can meet gurls, make frands, and lose your kissless virginity.

then browse thru the spotify premade playlists and put songs you know and like on it, from playlists like DANCE and HIP HOP and RAP and TOP 40 and HITS and Hits Across the decades. throw some dancey hipster crap in there too. throw a bit of classic rock type songs. the rule is, it must be fun and or upbeat.

I listen to real weird stuff and would not make this weird stuff more than 5% of the list, becuase that will turn your party into a sausage party.

yeah it sucks to pander to the pvssy, but you got to give them fun music to dance to as they get drunk and dance at yer party. you can’t just play just noise music or death metal or something.

ok i spent an hour doing that. it was fun. just going through like 50 premade playlists and ctrl clicking and adding to my playlist the songs i liked or felt would be effective vaj tinglers, not too weird or creepy, fun, party songs. some of which are actually good, like van morrison or temptations or paul simon or phil collins, police, michael jackson, etc.

remember, nothing too weird. you can do 5% weird TOPS.



june 12

yep rejection SUCKS, i don’t think any man would disagree with you there, leftist or not.

i also met a very nice youngish man who went to HARVARD. he was much nicer and much friendlier and much more down to earth than i imagined typical harvard people to be. of course, he DEF was not a typical harvard person. but I was glad to get along with even just one harvard person in my life, since i hate harvard and the elites who go there. but this guy was very very nice and friendly and totally hangoutwithable.

so i was very happy and thankful to make connections with some brand NEW people, which i haven’t done in a long time. just shows i have not totally lost all muh social skills.

so yes, girls DO have the right to reject you, but you have just as much of a right to get mad at them for it. i think you can get away with some verbal “abuse”, like one real good screaming session where you call them a cvnt and a b1tch and a cvm guzzling wh0re right to their face. (the leftists would prob disagree on this front and call me a misogynist). but i say you can do that once or twice, then just AVOID the b1tch 4 LYFE. (the leftists might also disagree with me there, as they might be better at “Staying Friends” with their X gurlfrans, which is something i will NEVER understand, and really don’t hope to.)

my official stance is to do No Contact. just do no contact, it’s easier, healthier, and safer, especially if you a kissless virgin who tends to fall hard and crazy for gurls, and then go APESH1T when they reject you, hehehehe.

i was also happy to see guys making it without Masters Degrees. that gave me great hope. if you really don’t WANT to get a masters degree, and I really DON’T, then just don’t get a masters degree. it really IS that simple. for so long I felt i HAD to get a masters degree, and I really don’t want to, so how do I force myself to want to do that, and to perform well enough in it to make it pay off? answer: just don’t do it until you REALLY WANT to. and it is ok if you NEVER really want to!

i was also happy to be able to appreciate leftists as decent human beings, even though i think leftists are destroying this country. but these leftists were perfectly fine people who are not personally destroying the country, and i could potentially be frands with them.

but it was good to prove to myself that i can get along with all different types of people, especially since i haven’t even been around any hardcore leftists in a while.

indeed, the main point was i did a lot more socializing that i have done in probably a couple years. i don’t go to bars, i don’t go to parties, i don’t go out, and here there was socializing among a group of 4,5, even 10 people for like a week straight. that was kind of nice.

and indeed it made me feel more social to my frands back home too. saw one of them today and i was being more social and frindly and talkative to him than i usually am. so this trip was a great shot in the arm for me. and i didn’t even get any Tail!

heck i didn’t even talk to any gurls except this one guy’s gurlfrand. she was very nice and easy to get along with.

i also saw a wimmin who was 32 years old and still very very attractive, i would have gladly had her sit on muh face! but of course she was MARRIED. oh well, life goes on, hahahaha. bla bla bla.

also muh frand made a little video documentary with his phone camera which i thought was a very very good idea, and i look forward to watching the final version he puts together. cuz i luv documentaries, would like to make one myself some day. and to capture some of the essence of this trip in vidya form is just real good, i am sure i will come back to it.

so i have a lot of regrets about my past, trying to erase from memory a lot from that time period, and this is where i met those guys. i am thankful to learn than you CAN separate the people from the past, and still get along with them FAMOUSLY in the present and future, without having it being TIED to that past you want to forget, and still can forget, without forgetting THEM. very hopeful and optimistic about that now.

guy getting married, never met his wife, but she was very nice and cool and they truly luv each other, so that is beautiful. but he sowed a lot of wild oatz, a LOT, i am a little jelly there, both my old frands sowed quite a few wild oats, and I still need to do that. and i wonder if this guy would be ready to get married if he hadn’t gone thru that wild oats period. and he was able to be open and honest about it with his wife, they really got along well with no stupid games or tension or power struggles, they both honestly wanted to be married to each other, and that is a beautiful thing i would like to experience one day. for me it’s always been i’ve been way more interested in the gril than she is in me, and then getting dumped REAL quickly, and then getting mad about that for a long time, and not even getting good action out of the deal. which legit does suck.



june 11

anyway girl8 is not really the main story, it’s just perhaps worth mentioning first to get out of the way. the much more imporatnt thing here was reconnecting successfully with an old frand i had not seen in….7 years.

i had sworn to make amends with him and with the guy we were going to see, the guy getting married. i didn’t get to really have a one on one with THAT guy but i still apologized to him, as well as to the other guy. deeply profoundly apologized to both guys, so that is good, feel good about that man.

i also did not have any tension with the leftists. of course i was not looking to provoke any tension either. but it was interesting hearing the leftists talk about their leftist beleifs.

it was weird, their beliefs are way out there, but they are still very decent admirable respectable people. i got along well with a radical leftist activist, all the anti-gun people, the anti-white people, anti-men, etc.

people talking about how jealousy is an immature bad emotion, having open rels, raep jokes are not funny, etc hehehe.

well, i think these guys would agree with me at least that rejection SUCKS and it hurts and that you have a right to be upset when you are rejected. i guess they just get over it and move on with their lives much quicker and easier than i do.

that and i like to laff at raep jokes, and i think open rels are kinda immature and bs and that at least 80% of them don’t work out, and that jealousy is a perfectly natural and normal response to rejection and butthurt. just don’t stalk, raep, hurt, or terrorize a broad. but you’re more than entitled to get jealous/angry when you get rejected.

got some good ideas about jobs, like people that make decent money tutoring english on skype, or being a chess coach, and not even any masters degrees.

even had great discussions with a new guy i just met there, who was real phd material, and going to start a masters program. i told him he was phd material and should really think about going that way. he caught my ear with philosophical jargon, so i spouted some jargon of my own, names of “thinkers”, and he got a huge kick out of it, and i was happy to oblige, however the diff bw me and him was that he really LOVED this stuff and grad skool for it is an obvious choice for him…..while i just like the jargon (philosophy/postmodernism/critical theory) because it makes you sound real smart. but i do NOT want to make it my career becuase it is kind of infuriating and not very rewarding or fun to read, IMHO. but this guy absolutely loves it, so i encouraged him to think about a phd. he also had great social skills and was great at talking to strangers. he was in great physical shape and had banged grils and traveled the world, and was able to drink and do other things responsibly. i mean some of these guys partied like bosses and i was happy to see that. CONSTANT beer drinking and at one point guys were in a ritual circle passing around a bowl of a ridiculous drink made of bacardi 151, vodka, and monster energy. that was a great drink invented by one of the leftists, and i was very impressed.

so yeah of course i did not drink. smoked a little bit of wiid where my MO was just to take one puff at a time and not get all paranoid and anxiety attack. whereas the other guys could take manny puffs and still not freak out.

also smoked a SH!TLOAD of cigarettes, like over 10 cigs a day, with a few days prob closer to 15 or 20, some chain smoking even. just sitting outside with the guys drinking tons of drinks and smoking w33d. i was just drinking water and chain smoking cigarets and taking the occasional puff of wiid.

i was proud about restraining myself on the wiid, and indeed i never really freaked out,and was able to continue conversation after puffing it.

something i noticed was that all these guys had lots of funny and interesting STORIES about their fun and interesting lives, and they would tell the stories and by the end everyone was laughing and cracking up. people were just full of stories. finally the guy asked me if i had any good stories, and i really DON’T!!!!  the closest thing was my DUI story, so I just told that in the funniest way I could, and did a pretty good job and got everybody laughing and that was a good confidence booster. we also played a game where we had to write funny responses and i wrote a few that everybody laughed and liked and commended me on my awesome sense of humor and being hilarious, which indeed is very imporatnt to me, and i appreciated that greatly.

but they had stories about girls and i didn’t have anything funny to share there. unless being a kissless virgin for like 10 yeasr is funny, hahaha. or mah frand having a full blown Rel with a gurl I pined for over a huge distance of time and space. or me wasting at least 3 years of my life if not 4, being in luv with a girl I hung out with onyl a few times and never even made out with (girl7).  hehehe.

so i would encourage you to do evertyhting you can to have at least one funny STORY you can tell. these STORIES from your life are key. they don’t have to be 100% truthful, i’m sure there was some  embellishment and exaggeration for comedic effect going on.

of course drunk driving is not technically funny, but i can vouch that you CAN spin it into a very funny story. If I can do it, so can you. so use that for your one funny story. if you’re a desperate lazy loser kissless virgin, then of COURSE you have a Drinking Problem, then of COURSE you have gotten a DUI. just par for the course.

so, i didn’t have even one funny or interseting story, so i took the closest contender, and spun it. go and do likewise, gents. if i can do it, you can definitely do it too.


june 2

its amazing. here i am going on this fun advneture and i am still thinking about that dream i had about girl7 early this morning. that’s the way it always is with these dam dreams, they linger all day.

dam. all dam day. i mean i want her to call me up or email me right now and say “i made a big mistake, plz come back to me, I would luv to hang out and make out and sit on your face and have true luvsechs for 9000 hours straight while i rub every inch of my nekkid boddy all over u forever and ever.” and i would say HELL YEAH FINALLY. all is right with the world.

ONEITIS in other words!!!!! pedestal!!!!!!

so hopefully that will go away tomorrow.

took pwalk, it was nice and warm. but a bit humid and i got really sweaty hehehe.

but yeah when u are in luv with a gurl you will do insane fetish stuff you wouldn’t want to do with other girls. so the luv actually kicks the sechsy aspect up a notch.

of course, to be in luv with somebody, you kinda DO have to be sechsy attracted to them.

Which is the problem I had with NotQuiteGirl9b. Heh. Luv that nomenclature dawg. great wonderful person, good mother of muh children type, but i have no desire to do anything physical with her. contrast with g7 where I would do unspeakably disgusting things with her, or even just with an avg young qt where i would gladly bang them (but wouldn’t lose my mind doing weird stuff with g7. probably.)

ANYWAY. just try to be normal and fun and funny and not weird with these winner normalfags. one of them could get me the job that saves my life later. if the discussion gets personal, just f00king LIE if i have to. it really shouldn’t be that bad. plus at least the one guy I even TRUST and don’t have to TRY so hard!!!!

might get a chance to bnag a gril. I said as long as she’s 6 or above. Or, even, 5.1 or above. just can’t be 5.0 or below.

what if she is 5.09? is the question begged.

well, depends on her age. the younger the better. of course, youth gets factored into her score anyway.

umm if i can score some xanax and she has a nice 4ss then the 5.09 might be a go. but not a 5.08.

of course i will not drink, i might well never drink again. but I WILL have some benzos if available, or take one HALF a puff off w33d. one full pvff is way too much for the likes of me.

and don’t argue with the leftists. heck AGREE with the leftists so they don’t try to get in an argument.

june 11 2014

welp i finally got back from muh little adventure vacation. the good news is there is no bad news and things were really fun and chill and i am very thankful. reconnected with at least one guy, the great guy i was talking about, and he is even greater than i remember, turning into a real role model.

the thing which i have to mention is we were talking about old people and he mentioned he had dated a gurl who was….. girl8 i have mentioned, and i was totes blown away, i didn’t know about that, and i told him i was kinda in luv with her and she was the one who got away for me and how i would love to marry and have babies with her even now and that i was kinda jealous that he got the chance to hang out, cuddle, make out, and bang that 4ss, because with her i actually liked her and would enjoy it on an emotioanl and not just physical level.

so i am not butthurt about it, i just thought it was a real funny coincidence, and of course a little jealous of all the things he got to do with her that i can only dream of, and i jokingly confessed as much, and nice guy that he is, he encouraged me to Get On It and that nothing is holding me back from Dating a Gurl like her, or even her herself. he is really nice like that, tries to hype up and boost the confidence of his frands.

so yeah that was just funny, but now i am of course thinking about using him to get into contact with her.

at this point, sloppy seconds or “eskimo brothers” is not a big concern for me, since i was already in luv with her.

funny thing is, he might have broken her poor widdle heart, which is not really that cool, but that doesn’t affect my Rel with Him, he is still a capital guy in my book, and I would like to make a thing of seeing him regularly now that we have very nicely rekindled things.

he has extremely good social skills and i was pushing him to ask people ridiciulous things just so i could study and take note and learn how to Communicate with people Confidently, because he has that skill in spades. I am tempted to say he is a full blown alpha male who could have any woman he wanted.

so i watched his Social Style with great interest, and how could I emulate that. and of course i will share with You.

getting things done, making tricky Phone Calls with ease, just generally being a Huge Social BOSS. I learned quite a bit just being around him, and of course would like to be more like him.

and he was not condescending to me, or a douchebag or d1ck to me, we picked up just like no time had passed, and he was very nice to me and laughing at all of my ridiciulous jokes, we were cracking each other up, it was really very good, and the gurl8 thing is really minor, i just have to mention it because girl8 is……not a significant, but def a NOTABLE part of my “luv life”, as i have dreams about her, would want to Date her, and is one of the last Wimmin I ever had Feelingz for.


june 1

if while doing spring cleaning (which can be done ANY time of year, even the dead of winter!) and you see something that reminds you of an old friend but you really don’t need to keep it because you’ll never look at it or use it, but it’s hard to throw away because you didn’t leave on Bad Terms with that friend, you just grew apart, then Say A Prayer Of Gratitude and GoodWill for them, then throw the thing away, saying something like “don’t take this personally buddy, i wish you all the best, but I just need to clean my dam house”. and throw it away or give it to charity.

i guess some people get really emo attached to photos, if their house were burning, they would run to save their photo albums first.

ummm that’s understandable and acceptable. but i really don’t have a lot of photos…

ok i guess don’t throw photos out, just put them in a box. if it’s someone who RIPPED YOUR HEART OUT, ok yes you can and should throw photos of them out.

unless it is “revenge porn” hehehehehe. i think revenge porn is great. b1tches shouldn’t let you take nekkid pitcherz if they are just gonna j you over later!

note: i am NOTE encouraging any illegal or abusive activity!!!!!!!!!!

ehhhh wimmin. they are ok i guess, but i can TAKE THEM OR LEAVE THEM. So far in mah life, THE CONS HAVE OUTWEIGHED THE PROS.

also, they say that the def of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

i wonder if that’s jsut a wives tale because to me that technically sounds more like Stubbornness or Laziness, but not necessarily INSANITY. Of course in the back of your mind you prob know that what you’re stubbornly doing again and again is not gonna work, you just hope against hope that it will finally work this time, but not really EXPECTING it to work, per se.

who gives a f.

heh. it will be weird hanging out in close quarters with a bunch of normalfags with good jobs and prob headed toward marriage with their gurlfrans.

well, these really are the types of people i should try to hang out with MORE! and you too.

just be careful not to advertise yourself as a huge loser. HIDE YOUR LOSERNESS. If they pry, just give them a sanitized story and say you’ve fallen on kinda tuff times lately. but eventually you would like to get a nice entry level job in business or computers.

oh no, not dating anyone right now, haven’t met the right girl yet for marriage, not a problem, it’ll happen someday, just working on myself right now, playing the field a little bit.

funny thing is, i actually know some normalfag successfuls but i don’t make much of an effort with them. because 65% of them, i’m not sure i really like. but i should make more of an effort wiht the OTHER 35%!!!

and this is different because this is a completely different group, from my Old Life that I’m trying to erase most of it (except for the nice people) blatantly inviting me to do something.

and since i gave up drinking, it is A LOT EASIER to be on good behavior.

just pretend i am a hardworking normalfag who is having a spell of bad luck right now, but i won’t let it get me down!

but let the one old friend know i really wouldn’t mind an FT position in his Huge Employer. that would be set 4 lyfe.

june 2

ok leaving later tonight. did my errands, got my hair cut nice and short to help with the baldness, got the finances in order THANK GOD, cut the lawn, finally got a second here. want to do last touches on my civilization in settlers; ideally do pwalk, finish packing (toiletries?)

had a dream last night with girl7, o noes. well it’s been like 2 weeks for her, hehehe. in the dream we were driving around LA in a mercedes or fancy car and she was being cold and b1tchy to me pushing me to be a Pushy Customer to a Car Dealer for some reason. now, i prob do not stand up for my rights as a customer enough, and car dealers and car people are notorious for trying to screw their customers, so you DO have to be aggressive right back to them. masculine. I sighed.

of course, me driving around with her like that sort of implies we were “dating” and that I had probably gotten a chance to have her sit on muh face for hours after eating bowls of bacon and beans, eat her 4ss, maybe a little face f4rting perhaps (o come on, hahahaha), licking the sweat out of her 4sscrack, have nice missionary stare em in the eyes sechs, suck on her stomach and belly button and huge bewbs and all sorts of GROSS DEGENERATE PERVERSIONS as well as Happy Cuddling and Making Out, all the stuff that goes along with Dating. But there was really no hint of any of that in the dream. JUST her being a B1tch and testing my masculinity by putting me in an uncomfortable position.

thankfully the dream was short and I don’t remember much of it.

anyway. those disgusting 4ss perversions i don’t really want to do to that extent with every cute young gurl, it was something that symbolized the deep True Luv I had for Gurl 7. Maybe the more you are in Luv with a Gurl, the more disgusting things you are willing to do with her 4ss.

good news is, i’m not thinking of Girl8 at all any more. And I was reflecting that the Experience of Girl7 has pretty much BLOWN AWAY all the other Gurls 1 thru 6, effectively erasing them from my memory. (well, 99% at least, till i get the occasional dream and think of them again.)

heh. now I am thinking of G7 again. Ya know, things would have been a LOT easier if she had just said yes. then i would get a masters degree all day long. or at least gladly work muh crappy middle working class job 80 hours a week if i could just home to dat 4ss. dat heart :((((((( heh what beta bullcrap.