may 19

ok went to shrink, discussed the things i wanted to, basically me having dreams about “girl8” are just me thinking what if. there wasn’t much i could do at the time because at the time i wasn’t even THINKING about her.

heh. unfortunately when i picked up muh paxil at the bharmacy, i also picked up some ice cream, candy (starburst tropical) and cookies. well the cookies are my gift to the fam to make up for being a huge loser but i will eat some of the cookies too. and i will eat all of the candy and ice cream!

now i am stuffing my face with starbursts. NOOOOOO.

ok i put the starbursts away. hooray for me showing SELF CONTROL. more people need to control themselves better hehehe.

ok going to eat dinner and go for 3.2 mile pwalk.

for job, gonna go to a TEMP AGENCY. once i find a job i like, am good at, and they like me, I will bvst 4ss trying to make it permanent.

for this guy, i will go with him if he is willing to drive, and make amends for all the times i blew him off because i was obsessed about some stupid grills elsewhere. unfortunately in the past i sometimes put Hoes before Broes, because that was what a desperate Love Addict I was.

there is a guy on the AV Club, which I hate, but this commenter has the sweet handle of “Sick T1ts Brah”.  of course he is a middle class progressive being ironic, so I will be unironic about it. SICK T1TS BRAH.

it is also very masculine to use “T1TS” as an adjective, e.g., “T1TS T1TS BRAH”.

or, “that b1tch’s cvnt was t1ts”. hehehehehe.

heh. my shrink is a fairly attractive, intelligent WOMAN. i would discuss my hateful misogyny with her, but i don’t think i’m a hateful misogynist just because i say things like that!!!!

noice chebs mate.

like a b1tch sucking fatc0x.

heh. f00k. i should have gone to “military school” for high school. learned some damn DISCIPLINE. that is exactly what i lack. in spades. no DISCIPLINE whatsoever. how about you?

well i did just do a 3.6 mile powerwalk. it was very nice.

well here’s a sad thing. guys who work as cheap security guards because they’re too old or too losery to get jobs as Policemen. so they make 8 bucks an hour with no benefits while the policement make 30 bucks an hour with Cadillac Benefits.

heh. i would almost rather have a dream about girl7 than girl8, because I have a damn good REASON to have dreams about girl7. girl8 dreams are even more useless and frustrating. they are based in absolutely NOTHING.

may 20

whew. no dreams about grils last nite. thank GOD.

there was about 2 hours where i didn’t have enough energy to sit up but couldn’t quite fall asleep, from like 8 pm to 10 pm. normalfags would have used this time to do something productive, yet the last thing i wanted to do was pay to study or some sh1t. how about you?

really strong passion, passion for city, passion for human resources. 11$ an hour. offered housing in local univ dorm. great opportunity to live play and work in the cirty. real pro devel. unique work envt. new friends, netw opp. mentorship. 1000 internships. 13000 applicants. special internships for returning veterans.

the job news segment just came on with a big local company with 1000 internships. i tried to take some notes there.

it sounded like the key for getting one of these sweet $11 an hour jobs was PASSION, having a good attitude, etc. and i have heard this point made over and over again, you have to have a real PASSIONATE, ENERGETIC, POSITIVE ATTITUDE in the interview to get a job. be a real happy energetic person.

which can be tricky to fake, but it can definitely be faked successfully and convincingly!!! you can fake it too!!! you can do it!!!!

basically smile smile smile and just say the words, “I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS COMPANY AND I’M PASSIONATE ABOUT MARKETING” etc. plus big smile. that’s ALL they mean. then you too can make 11$ an hour! sweet!

heh. that is a lot more than the 0 dollars an hour i’m making now!

ok. it’s all about the WORDS you use, plus the body language and smiling. you don’t have to lie 100%, you can only lie 60% or so, for example: “I have a real authentic PASSION for Serving Customers over the Phone….however my passion begins to wane when Phone Service takes over 60% of my job time.” that way they know that you don’t like spending over 60% of your time on the phone, or 60% of your time running back and forth getting food for your custos. which is important if the job is for say restaurant waiter.

but why are you applying for waiter if you don’t like serving more than 60% of the time? because it’s the only job out there, and the only job you can get, hehehehe. desperate times, desperate measures. not looking for a dream job. just looking for a job job, any job, to pay dem beelz.

but don’t tell THEM that! tell THEM that you want to be there for life and learn everything about the position! and maybe get a small promotion once every 10 years! to be a perfect employee and make other employees be perfect too!

ok gotta check the email. deep breath. ok. got to go to bathroom. do that, eat small breakfast, THEN check email.