june 15

so i might make one desperate final stand for luv in life, reach out and contact girl8 and see if she is open to meeting, if not, AT LEAST I TRIED. Ideally I could meet her at a central meeting place like 50 miles away and we could have True Luvsechs in a hotel room for hours and then go back to our homes at the end of the end, I would secure her Luv, and use her Luv and hot bod to motivate me to get a Bigboy job in her area, then move out there, make money, and Get Married to her. because although I luv my workingclass area, her middle class area has prob got better jobs.

so how am i supposed to get one of those jobs. wouldn’t it be easier for her to get a job here than for me to get a job there? well if she wants to do that, I won’t stop her, hehehehe.

no she does not have a phd from hypsm or ivy, not even a masterz! Nope she just was happy with the mere bachelors degree and got a sweet job with the university, like i would luv to have.  great health care, they DOUBLE your 401k contribution, prob a union too so you can’t get laid off, etc. great job 4 lyfe.

would LUV to work there, but by now I’m kind of seeing it as Out Of My League, just like Girl8 is Out Of My League, and I will be forever doomed to sh1tty jobs and even sh1ttier women. I can accept the jobs because you gotta have a job, but you DON’T HAVE to have a wimmin, and I will not accept a Lame Wimmin, meaning someone I am not totally 100% in luv with; hey it has happened 8 times in my life so why should I settle for a woman where it doesn’t happen??

like NotQuiteGirl9C, who is a very nice person but who i am DEF not in LUV with the same way i was with gurls 1 thru 8, and certainly have no desire to get physical with, whereas with a true luv girl, I would get DISGUSTINGLY physical with. the perfect blend of emo and physical. which is why i coined the term True Luvsechs. I.E.,  Sechs which fully embodies (pun intended) True Luv.

how about u?

i Literally have nothing to lose. either she can say yes or no. in fact 99.9% chance she will say no. so you’re saying i have a chance, hahahaha.

i mean I really SHOULD do this. there are literally no neg consequences other than her not responding, or saying no. she can’t put me in jail. she can’t get me fired. she can’t blacklist me from other wimmin. and she prob won’t contact me, we all know it is up to the man to make the first move. i was kinda hoping she might contact me if our mutual friend contacts her on my behalf and or tags a picture of me on FB that she might see. he knows damn well that I am very interested in her. I told him I wanted to marry her and have FIVE children with her.

which is not far off from the truth!

so I took about 15 small puffs of wiid on the vacation. no more than one or two SMALL puffs at a time.  never got Too H1gh, which was perfect. exercised great self control there.

but i want to wait a few more days, get it all out of the system, then I am just gonna march down to the temp office, wear muh dress pants, and explain the situation.

also: make a One Sheeter for job search as well. One Sheeters is the Thing of 2014.

i used to have a search box filled with 9000 terms:

“assistant OR clerk OR entry OR technical OR full-time OR will train OR agent OR analyst OR operator OR data entry OR junior OR level 1 OR company A OR company B or chess coach or english tutor or tutor or math tutor or paraprofessional or substitute teacher or classroom assistant or program assistant or technical support or research assistant or administrative assistant or oil refinery or climber or welder or electrician or hvac”

and, until recently, I thought The Long Search Term was the way to find ALL possible jobs.

Now I am thinking break it down again. have a separate search for one job. and 9000 diff searches.

but on my one sheeter I will write out that 9000 job list so I don’t forget to make searches for any of them.

also might put a one line inspirational quote on my res. this is the superres of size 8 font, .2 inch margins, and everything i have ever done in my life.

i figure once i get to entry level and am trying to move BEYOND entry level to second level, then I can use a more focused res. but right now I am at least 30 years old, manny years out of college, and STILL trying to find an entry level job that I don’t quit or get laid off from, hehehehe.

while on my social adventure one of the guys said something in reference to another guy’s 16 year old brother, who had no interest in life except to play vidya games all day erry day. no job, no interest in gurls or skool, just vidya. would not shower etc. he said the kid was still young enough to be fixed, but once you HIT 25 YOU GET SET IN YOUR WAYS and you’re pretty much UNFIXABLE. so break his computer NOW, force him outside NOW, because if you get to 25, you’re unfixable, and you cannot break your old bad habits.

heh. I have lately often considered this, ie, your brain takes until the late age of 25 to stop growing, so i was thinking you should never do alcohol or drugs before then. and you do have more energy and creativity then. so you should try to have the basic foundations of your life well in place by 25. of course i did not and now i am paying the price hehehe.

anyway this blog is more for people OVER 25, where it seems SUPER hopeless. well there is hope. you don’t HAVE be under 25 to fix yourself.

anywhere my heart kinda sank when the guy said that, because of course i am a huge loser, and well over 25, and want to have some hope of changing myself.

heh. some trueluvsechs would help that. motivator. reinforcenment. carrot. reward. everything from mere cuddling and making out with gurl8, to full blown perversions with her butt. it’s all good. but it has to be gurl8 or someone where that Luv Switch is SWITCHED ON. jeez. talk about PEDESTALITIS! ONEITIS!

well I do know that Oneitis can happen for at LEAST 8 people in your life. so it’s not technically oneitis.