may 7 2014 wed

yeah buddy. focus on the positive. focus on the donut and not the hole. so i am lazy and unmotivated and laid off and useless loser. those negatives are VASTLY OUTWEIGHED by the positives: good family, food and shelter, ok brain, pretty good health, not morbidly obese, no cancer knock on wood, no deformities, no severe autism, no cluster b or type 2 or serious mental probs, etc. nope, just laziness. good ol garden variety laziness. pretty strong, but pretty simple too.

had dream with appearance from Girl6. she was not being agreeable or friendly, but b1tchy, not too far from how had the displeasure of knowing her! and I feel this dream will have less of an effect on me than for example recent dream about Girl8. IE, Girl6 is more forgettable, hehehe. and she really is. but would I be thinking diff if in the dream we were doing lovey dovey + S’ual stuff? perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. 60/40 chance.

how about u?

playing this settlers online game has got me thinking all creatively, analytically, strategically, which is great.

made me improve my Girl Numbering System, to include those Girls who are definitely notable or memorably, but who never officially reached Full Blow True Love Numbered Girl Status like Girls 1 thru 8, where the criteria was, I was in love with them, I would have gladly and enthusiastically monogamously had a Committed Rel with them and been very happy to do it.

For example, I will call them Almost Girl or even better, “NOT QUITE” Girl. EG, NotQuiteGirl2. I liked her and wanted to bang her, but she had real potential. we went on at least one of those “Official DATES” as I described. it went well and I’m not sure why I didn’t push for moar. I think because she left relatively soon to go to Law Skool. She could have become a full blown girl with more time and dates.

and then I met Girl 2 after her. Thus, NotQuiteGirl2 was very truly not quite girl 2. but she could have been.

If there were TWO NotQuiteGirl2’s, then it would simply be NotQuiteGirl2A, B, C, D, and so on.

there’s not really a sh1tload of these not quite girls, maybe 3 or 4 more to squeeze in. it’s a LITTLE complicated, because I may have developed my Not-Quite-Feelings for them years after meeting them, years after not seeing them, due to a DREAM, much like i retroactively promoted Girl8 to her position, even though I first met her many years ago, between girls 1 and 2, believe it or not!!!

then it can get complicated of course deciding exactly where to place the girl in this pseudo-chronological timeline.

like one girl I will call tentatively NotQuiteGirl7??? or perhaps NotQuiteGirl8. I started having dreams about her around that time and then developed moderate, mild feels, around the time of Girl7. tiny tomboyish girl who was a bit shorter than I usually like, but very nice skin and great Curves.

I would have liked to bang her many times, and probably would have enjoyed all the stuff before and between the bangs: cuddling, dating, hanging out.

but i did not go after her at the time because I wasn’t super interested, hadn’t had any dreams about her, and I had my hands full with girls 2 thru 4, who came in rapid serial succession, and indeed distracted me from pursuing girl8 as well.

how about u?

heh. writing about my ridiculous history with Wimmin should be my job. you might think I have had way more S than I actually have. I can assure you I haven’t. I have not had S with manny of my Numbered Girls!

And, all gurls I have had S with, I did not have a LOT of it, indeed, only very little!

some exact facts I will always dance around, got to have SOME privacy!

OK we’ll call her NotQuiteGirl8, because I had the dream after first falling in Luv with Girl7, and I was probably looking for a break from that, because Girl7 went nowhere for a LOOOOONG time. almost 4 years.

And THEN there was this other gurl I sometimes have dreams about more recently, a cute smaller blond nerdy girl who is moving up diligently in her lower middle class career. I probably started having these after Ordaining Girl8, so this one would then be NotQuiteGirl9. see how that works?

Unless I started dreaming about her before girl8, then she would be notquitegirl8B. so this can get confusing.

and, finally, is a girl I am actually friends with and is a very nice person and we get along very well and have fun hanging out and talking and she would be a great mother of muh children…….but I do not feel a “SPARK” with her like I strongly felt with Numbered Girls. The idea of having S with her would be a a little WEIRD to say the least and would make me uncomfortable. Heh. I have Friendzoned her in other words! yet i feel very mild guilt because she is a great person who would be a great HeirMother, I just would not have that Mad Emo and Physical Luv to her. Complicating even moar is that she is not particularly ugly or anything! and I HAVE been in luv with some Funny Lookin Gurls, so I’m not one to judge!!!!

how about u hehehe.

but she is definitely notable for all those notable reasons above. But I don’t see her becoming a numbered girl. thus, she is NotQuiteGirl9B.

or maybe she is NotQuiteGirl9A and that one immed above would be NQG9B. heh.

basically the Not Quite Girls are Good Tier underneath Numbered Girls Great Tier.

But NQG9B IS in the Great Tier of Great Human Beings of virtue and morality and niceness. Just not in the great tier of me being in Epic Luv with them.

gives me a code to write about them without hurting their privacy, although i won’t give many private details anyway! the important thing is to have a code with BOTH contains the Running Total and Rough Chronological Order of Gurls I’ve been in Love With, and now those who I’ve Thought About being in luv with, even if I didn’t end up falling in luv with them. and so i think i’ve come up with a DAMN CODE CODE which Encapsulates both those informative elements.

how about u?