june 14

well i grew up in a working class neighborhood and went to a middle class college and was temporarily seduced by middle class values but i think even moreso by middle class gurls, and i still might prefer middle class “cultured” gurls to working class girls, although I strongly prefer working class values and living in a working class neighborhood among working class men. the only thing is that is seems there is a lack of women compared to the middle class nieghborhoods. it is as if all the women are marrying up, hehehehehe.

heh. what would happen if you took lsd and cocaine at the same time hehehehe.

ok maybe even with a little bit of heron on top while were being ridiculous.

during the summer, go to THE LAKE on a sunny hot day as many times as you can. I have not been doing this at all because the main lake closest to my house is a disgusting sh1thole that gets absolutely infested with gross bugs.

it is funny how i never thought of the simple solution: GO TO A DIFFERENT LAKE.

I totally forgot there was more than one lake, if I were just willing to travel a little further.


so that is my resolution this summer.

there are lakes like 14 miles from my house that i have never been to in my life. plus they are in middle class neighborhoods so they will prob be filled with a bunch of cute 18 yo rich gurls, hahahaha.

i was talking to this fun young man who got a sweet job as a chess coach. he implied that it really wasn’t that hard to get the job, and getting the job totally changed his life for the better. he said you have to really reach the kids on a primal level. at first they don’t even really care about the process of the game, all they care about is WINNING and crushing their opponent, so you have to use that as the hook. teach them that you have to set up all the pieces in a formation rather than moving them out willy nilly, in order to WIN.

this is a sweet job and i had no idea it existed. he said you didn’t even need to be good at chess, he wasn’t. and he is making at LEAST $20 an hour doing that. if not $25!!!!!

so i thought what’s my hook. that would be, banging 18 yo gurls, at my beck and call. RIGHT NOW. hehehe. that and or true luv with girls 1 thru 8, or finding a gurl 9.

a bunch of guys were talking about how much they liked science fiction novels & stories, like really far out true scifi geek stuff, not just newb game of thrones stuff. one guy even had an idea for a grand scifi epic that would span many books, and he was just getting his ideas together and could not wait to start writing it. i told him to start writing it ASAP because I would like to read it.

then of course i thought, when was the last time i was obsessed with stories and writing like this? not since i was like in 6th grade. since then it has been a huge struggle with skool, work, and wimmin. and never really getting anywhere in any of them hehehe.

i was thinking that “metal” music is very very masculine, however it is probably the form of music women/gurls dislike the most or find the most creepy. this is problematic to me because i have always had an interest in metal, sometimes a rather obsessive one. now, metal in 2014 is peaking in popularity, it has even become Hip to Hipsters, and probably also at its most popular with women than it’s ever been. nonetheless, you should not make more than 5% of your Party Mixes Metal or it will scare gurls away.

i thought it was strange that something so MASCULINE would turn women OFF, since women usually are turned on by Masculine Men and masculinity as well. well, this is probably because metal is masculine in the outsider / gamma / mgtow / lone wolf / antisocial, whereas a True Alpha is more social in that he is a leader or treated as a leader, rather than rejected by the people in his group.

similarly, very few wimmin actually luv watching american football, for example, but they do like the hunky big strong masculine men who play it.

if you ever do lsd, make a 6 hour voice recording of all your thoughts.

june 15

so i just had this very nice little adventure, reconnect with old frands, and what do i do? dwell on the fact that my old frand Dated Gurl8 and got her to fall in luv with him and to cuddle with her and make out with her and lick her ahole and feel sorry for myself that i had never experienced something that good before.

well i am thankful for the chance to see him again, also it’s almost a bit better that he dumped her because that means he is SO over her and she is way in his past; also it got me thinking about actually reaching out to her in a desperate final bid for Luv In Life, just to get rejected and get it over with, kinda like I did with Gurl7, except Gurl8 lives like 100 miles away and Gurl7 lives in muh town, hahaha.

also i am very thankful for having met this nice young man where we really hit it off talking about philosophy. i remember he said one thing early on that impressed me. one of the friends we were with is a serious marxist leftist activist, and the guy i anticipated having potential problems with, but he actually turned out all right and I got along well with him despite our political and lifestyle differences. anyway he refuses to shop at gas station x because they are the most evil gas station. we were mildly joking about that and I made a sarcastic remark about not wanting to be complicit with the evil, maaaaaan, and my New Buddy said something like, We’re ALL complicit, whether we like it or not.

so i liked that. and is a nice summary of why I am not An Activist.

well we weren’t really being mean to the other guy behind his back or anything, just that the activist lifestyle is so front and center that it’s impossible not to notice.