apr 25

i was a lot more social in my youth, when i was surrounded by Young People like me. I was unable to Close the deal with Grills because I was not Masculine or Decisive or Confident enough around them. well, the ones I was attracted to, at least. Other Grills I got along with fine, and even had a few decent Female Friends. but now that i am an old careerless loser, I am muuuuuuuch less social. and when i am working Full Time, I am too Stressed and Tired to hang out with people ever, so then I am even less social!

and when you’re old, it’s hard to hang out with people whose careers are a lot more middle class than yours. you feel they’re judging you for being a redneck loser, and then you don’t like them.

or its hard for you to tell them about yourself, because there’s nothing good to say about being a loser who blew their chances to be a winner.

so that’s why you get people talking about THEM selves!

does the right NEED the left? does good NEED evil? Probably NOT!!!!

I am inspired by men only. only men inspire me. women do not inspire me. they used to, but no longer.

“I don’t like women.”  “Why Not?”  “The better question is, why SHOULD I?”

do men NEED women? (yes, this is the one dichotomy where the yin needs yang argument is probably true, unlike those ones above.)

those were some Deep Thoughts that came to me on my Long Powerwalk.

ok drank some nyquil around 8 pm, wait for it to kick in.

anyway. is it more Cost Effective for a Family to live in a House, or in an Apartment?

Because I am concerned with home values.

pretty sure the value of my family home has gone down. not a lot, thankfully.

but is it a good idea to buy dirt cheap houses? like i can think of a few people who did so. ridiculously cheap houses. but if they’re in a “BAD NEIGHBORHOOD” then won’t they be worth even LESS in 20 or 30 years?

Or when you can see the trend a neighborhood is taking, such as, “that neighborhood is starting to go downhill, in 10 years it will be pretty bad, in 20 years it will be unlivable.”

that kind of thing.

go ahead, call me racist!

in my lifetime I have seen Neighborhoods Go Downhill. FACT. The house I grew up in as a child for example. The neighborhoods I used to Play In as a child, for example. The other week I drove down the old street and it had DEFINITELY Gone Downhill.

“BLIGHT” would be the politically correct term, hehehehe.

dunno. I find it hard to commit to a house long term. cuz the house is part of the neighborhood.

well what if you buy a house in the BOONDOCKS where there IS no neighborhood? and then 30 years later Developers want to Develop and then than land is worth a lot moar? Would that be acceptable?

But the thing is, you can always sell your house and then pay off the mortgage that way, right? I honestly have no idea how mortgages work.

but if you rent an apartment, you will NEVER get that money back. NEVER. just throwing it away.

Heh. I would have made a good PhD In Hard Sciences, if I had gotten into Hard Sciences. wish I had! I was always much more interested in Soft Sciences. Which, unfortunately, are Always Marxist, and there is no place for Nonmarxist PhDs of.

apr 26

when i get nervous and stressed i can write alot.

welp, just got up from awesome nyquil sleep. still groggy and sleepy and nyquilly, could go back to sleep right now at 1046 am. took the nyquil aronnd 8 pm last night, one full adult dose. heh. next time i will take it at 7 pm. Lesson learned: nyquil lasts for at least 15 hours. ideally you would sleep for that long.

had a weird dream where i was an actor playing a small role in an Epic Play. I recall chatting with some young cute wimmin, who liked me because i was a cool actor. i looked forward to boning them after the play.

after we finished though, everyone was shocked and disgusted because of the way women were portrayed, and i guess there were some really offensive and violent rapes in there.

turns out it was about soldiers in wartime and we were playing nazis, and in one scene there was violent rape of women, and that really went over like a lead balloon. somewhat understandably. i did not get any Action afterwards.

heh that is a very recurring theme in muh dreams. the Action is SO CLOSE, and then it gets snatched away forever at the last minute.  heh. might be an metaphor for real life. although there, I did get a LITTLE bit of action. the TEENSIEST bit of action, and then it was snatched away forever, when I wanted SO MUCH MORE. snatched away by the agency of the grillz saying Nope You’re Done.

i do like the comedian jim gaffigan. also chris rock “bigger and blacker” from 1999 or so, is absolutely hilarious. watch that and you WILL laugh.

was thinking about saving up and getting one of those 99$ chromosome tests. just to narrow things down.

this jim gaffigan is really my style. he just spent the last 5 minutes makign jokes about ketchup and it was really funny. is he still this funny? I heard he was catholic and has 5 kids. even better.

i had just become an official ac/dc fan and vowed i would see them live, when it looks like it might be over for them as malcolm young has some serious health issues. that sucks!

TRAINING WAGES. tell the manager you would GLADLY do TRAINING WAGES for 30 or 60 days at Minimum Wage, especially if the job is real awesome and you really want it.