apr 25

as i wait for this guy to call back, i have written like TEN posts.  cant stop. this is intense.

STUDIO apartment is what I am looking for I think. where there is not a separate bedroom and living room. I don’t care. I would prefer to live alone and wouldn’t need two sep rooms. just a small kitchen, bathroom, and One Bigger Living Space. I would entertain guests in my bedroom basically. can find a place fro about $500 a month. or a one bedroom for 590 a month. see in new york you would pay like 2000 for a studio apt, hehehehe. how do people GET such good jobs? maybe read THEIR blogs for tips on how to be a winner.


well its 230, said i would call the guy, should i call him. i was told he is pretty good about returning calls. I left a hella message and don’t want to PESTER him. it would CERTAINLY be acceptable for me to call him on MONDAY.

heh. well i did not call him, thinking i will call him monday. it is 430 now so he is prob about leaving. i guess he could leave at 5 or later and call me last thing of his day, but i am fairly sure he leave around 5 or 430. and works around a regular 40 hour week heh.

but i have not been going for powerwalk, but instead researching ridic music. talking about music will identify me so…. i guess i could just start a music blog. i already have the foundations for a movie blog. i COULD do a music blog. AND a political blog. AND other blogs. AND a professional blog. but would i want my real name connected to my political blog? HELL NO! and it is honestly confusing for me to keep all my fake names straight. like I use a fake name for this and another fake name for my old political blog, and I don’t want the people of the political blog to know I’m the same guy who does this blog… but hypotethicaally they might link it thru my music blog, which doesn’t exist.

well i’ll say i researched neofolk and pagan music, and also this nihilistic noise project called :STALAGGH:/:GULAGGH: which is mainly screams of mental patients and meant to embody pain, hate, fear, nihilism, misanthropy, etc. But I don’t think it’s well regarded by Noise Musicians, as the hidden-identity “band” members do not profess any knowledge of actual noise or power electronics music, like for example merzbow or whitehouse or that sort of thing.

tried to find a good neofolk project from the nation of my ethnicity. of course defining neofolk is hard enough, and how diff is it from neoclassical. or martial industrial. i am intrigued by what the group wardruna does with the scandinavian history, but are they “neofolk”?? they are certainly getting bigger and are even featured on the tv show vikings. i would totes go see them in concert.

anyway. trying to find something like that for My People, hehehe. who would be more like Cousins to the scandinavians.

how about u?

will go for 3.2 hour long powerwalk after dinner.

yesterday i got up at 6:15 am to get ready for the interview. then did not take a nap. by 10 pm I was tired as heck and fell asleep.



later. ok back from 3.2 mile powerwalk. listened to some music. was glad i did not have to think about calling the guy till monday.

heh. i am surprised more Working People just don’t Kill Themselves because working sucks so bad and gives you mad end-of-mulholland-drive kill-yourself kind of stress and worry.

so more people should be killing themselves. but they’re NOT. only lunatics and depressives and other mental defects.

heh. why couldn’t my Old Job be Full Time. it was the best job ever.

google does buspar work.

hmm you think all these people with lifetimes of anxiety would mention something about Work Related Stress and Anxiety. That is the Number One source of Anxiety for me! I don’t get it when I am Unemployed! But then when I am unemployed I feel bad for being a Huge Unemployable Loser. Can’t get a break from dem neg feels, hehehehe.

ooooo! maybe try some nyquil tonight? got to do it before….9 pm though. and it is already 7.30pm. better stop drinking coffee hehehe.

yeah i am feelin some nyquil today son. it has been at least a week.

i’m just not convinced it’s a good idea to Buy A Home, unless you’re buying it in The Wealthiest Area of town, which is likely to stay that way for 30+ years, and then it will cost you $1000000 for the smallest house and you will never own it. Well, I guess you should still do it, because the house will still be gaining in value after you’re dead.

i heard the corniest phrase yesterday but I still liked it: we are not inheriting the earth from our ancestors, we are BORROWING it from our CHILDREN.

so i try to live like that, even if i never have children. I would LIKE to have children, at least 3, however I am doubtful I’ll even be able to make that much money AND sow my Wild Oats AND find a good wife first!!!!

a thinker I really respect says that it’s a FALLACY that you need to be wealthy to have children, and believing this lie keeps people from having all the children they might want. no, he says, you can be poor and have children.

and then you realize, f00k YES you can be poor as f00k and have LOTS of children! The Poor often have TONS of Children!

So why can’t You?

except you would be poor and be a Good Parent and raise Good Children!

Or, you could even get Welfare Bennies if you Poor Enough.

The other day I learned of a village in New York called “Kiryas Joel” which might be almost an example of that “right wing commune” I spoke of earlier. It is one of the poorest cities in the nation in terms of percentage of people on welfare. but there is no drugs and no crime and no violence, and the women have lots of children starting young, and huge extended families live in apartment buildings and own their own businesses. there is a notable detail I am leaving out, can you guess……..

the people are all of the same ethnicity, that is to say, it is a ethnic enclave, very clannish and exclusive of outsiders.

kind of like the amish, who would also be another good example. I am not sure there are any amish cities this large, though. plus these people allow electricity i think.

although i never understood all these amish reality shows that show these amish with cars and electricity and whatnot, and talking to tv cameras. do amish allow that stuff nowadays?

I am pro-electricity, strongly so, I love the internet and all that.