june 21 2014

if you don’t know what else to do with your life, just powerwalk. powerwalk two hours a day. every day.

when you go back to your stressful job, join planet fitness for $14 a month and use their treadmill to powerwalk for two hours, then go home and go to bed.

if you can’t find a woman to be in true luv with and have true luvsechs with, find any attractive women you can have non true luv sechs with. just do not lie to her or treat her with bad karma.

if you can’t find that, then just go get lap dances from strippers once every….week? two weeks? maybe pay one you really like to have sex worker sechs with.

i was gonna say something actually……

oh yeah. today i made the first pot of tea when i usually make coffee. put in 6 backs of regular lipton. looked for honey but had run out.

my big idea was to put some BUTTER in it. because I enjoy butter in muh coffee occasionally. and that is super gross. so why not try butter in my tea occasionally?

i did not put a lot in. as the tea cools the butter may separate and that would kinda suck.

but my new favorite butter is Challenge Butter Spreadable.

i recently switched to spreadable butter and love it. they put canola oil in it to make it spreadable. some butter purists don’t like this but IMHO it is wayyyy more convenient and fun and worth it.

now challenge butter is not “organic” but it might be grass fed. and i like to think that grass fed cows produce better tasting dairy and meat, and i am a huge beef/cow fan.

also i am convinced that butter is “good fat”, like avocado or something. i am probably horrifically wrong.

but i have been eating butter for quite a while, refuse to eat margarine, just butter, and I have not really gained weight because of it, so, why not.

tasted some of the tea. it was not bad.

i was always an anxious and worrying child. always. and this may come from muh fam, who were also anxious and worrying, but never abusive or violent. they just worried too much about everything, so perhaps i picked up on that. but they didn’t need to worry, and I didn’t need to worry.

but yes they did need to worry! about raising me up in a wicked weird world where security and safety and peace of mind and education means making money!

we lived in a neighborhood that was turning from good to not so good, so that was a source of worry.

my dad really disliked his job, so that was a source of stress and unhappiness. he never ever took it out on us, but even as a young child i could tell he was unhappy with his job, so that formed my view of what jobs are. they make you unhappy but you’re stuck in them because you need to sacrifice your own happiness to provide for your family.

god damn that molyneux! hehehe. what he said today really stuck with me, in that brain bomb in toronto speech:  you put a child with a win-lose way of thinking into a win-win environment, and he will lose.

you put a child with a win-win way of thinking into a win-lose environemtn, and he will lose.

i DEFINITELY had a win-lose way of thinking, still do. but haven’t i always been in a win-lose environment too? shouldn’t it all work out then?

the real, adult, working world is a win-lose environment!!!!!!!!!!111


but i never adapted well to that. as if my brain always wanted to be win-win, and to find a win-win evironment.

also, some kids are more RESILIENT than others, while other kids have more Special Needs.

I was never that resilient, and probably had some Special Needs.

but it takes great resources, money, and middle class to address special needs. you need marxist phd’s and md’s, hahahaha.

no you don’t. you just need basic warrior training and homeschooling.

i never liked school anyway, never fit in with the kids, so homeschooling prob would have saved me.

but i don’t blame my fam for not homeschooling me! they didn’t even KNOW about homeschooling! very few people DO take it seriously as i do, or any of the other homeschool proponents! we are still a weirdo fringe minority!!!

anyway. molyneux is definitely challenging, interesting, and fun. might be the most thought provoking person of the past two years for me.

but he’s also not a rightist, racist, or nationalist, for better and for worse.

i would def be to the right of him, but i still like him. i think.

he says the abused or broken brain is so different from the nonbroken brain, it is like two different species almost. two diff races, hehehehe.

and while i have not been abused, i kind of have an abused brain. winner brain vs loser brain. good brain vs bad brain. i am smart, which is good, but my brain otherwise SUCKS. i wish i could just reboot it entirely.

which is why i like stuff like ECT, or Psychedelic Drugs. I am desperate for extreme solutions to mah extreme brain problem.

or gimme the strongest tricyclic medz ever made.

just so i can get a job and be a functioning adult.

or, more specifically, convince a job to hire me during the interview process by having good enough social skills and buzzwords and confidence during that process.

then once you get the job, you can totes slack off hahahaha. and be the most unproductive employee you can be without getting fired or laid off.

now there’s a hireable, desirable work ethic!!!

moly also says parenting in the 21st century is like medicine in the 10th century. it just sucks, people don’t know how to do it right.

so i am curious what is his idea of Good, Ideal Parenting. Walk The Talk, Bubby. Try to make a winner out of your young daughter, chief, because we will be watching.

also, look up youtube vidyas for teaching social skills to autistic children, then USE THEM ON YOURSELF.