april 25

happy 4th hehehe.

had a weird dream. was seeing some people i remember from college, but i think they were still young and I was old. at one point, this “cool alpha” male was having S with THREE beautiful young 18 year old Qts. I approached one of them to try to get sloppy seconds, as they hadn’t shown me ANY attention, and they she gave me a b1tchy attitude and went back to the four-way with the one guy. I was not thrilled.

Briefly this gurl popped in and asked me to Pretend to Have S with her. “NO NEED TO PRETEND,” I said in a suave alpha way, hehehehe. she got on top of me and started grinding and it was very fun. i think she was naked so it was very close to having S. I recall sticking muh tongue up her V and thought that was fun. which was weird, cuz that doesn’t really appeal to me unless I am in Luv with the 18 year old gurl. But it was still not bad.

And then she left very quickly, i said, no, you don’t have to leave right now, don’t you want to have Moar FUN? but she was gone matter of factly, and I was sad, because I very much enjoyed our 5 minutes together, and wanted MOAR.

and then there was something about a guy’s crazy gurlfrand jumping out the window and then we were all being questioned by police as Murder Suspects, and I did not feel too good about that.

heh. i tend to have weirder dreams when i am under moar stress.

how about you?

but it was very fun having pretend dream S with a young gurl, would like some MOAR.


so, thing is, being too anxious for too long makes you do a WORSE job at your job, because you can’t think straight and you panic and Sh1t The Bed. This does not ingratiate you to your superiors.

does buspar really work if you have intense stress? like NERVOUS stress, like o sh1t what have I gotten myself into, i can’t DO this sort of stress.

but I was able to WITHSTAND at my old/current job, thus i can probably WITHSTAND at this new job.

again, back to the prayers. lord GOD give me strength and courage and confidence and calmness.

i didn’t even like the weekends, because I would just Stress about Work the whole time, and I’d rather stress about work AT work and get PAID for it! than have it RUIN my valuable FREE TIME!!!!

but the first couple of weekends are NATURALLY gonna be like that.

so i would advise drinking nyquil or benzos on friday night right after work, then sleeping like TWENTY hours. then go hang out with a trusted friend and do something fun.

if you don’t have a trusted friend, then still do something fun, like go for a LONG powerwalk (90 mins) and listen to music.

lots of people don’t like The Suckup or Brown Noser, but I see no reason NOT to be that At Work. You want to make Your Superiors Like you, don’t you? some see it as hurting their dignity.

know what hurts your dignity even more? Never being promoted.

Being Passed Over for promotion by someone who has been there shorter, or, even worse, some jackass from outside the company.

Well, that legit boils my buttons. I would NEVER run a company like that. I would promote ONLY from within.

these semi-mainstream “christian movies” are ridiculous. I believe christians are BETTER and SMARTER than that, and these movies don’t promote their cause, they make them look like IDIOTS, and they should be smart enough to see that.

but i do think mel gibson has the right idea, would like to see him make another christian film.

of course i am very ambivalent towards christians, even though i go to catholic church every week. but that is more of a karma thing to make my family happy, and I am more than willing to do that, for all they have done for me!!!!

is “nationalism” a better idea than “free trade”? where you have a gummint strong enough to shut down free trade and PROTECT YOUR NATION’S JOBS???? Does that make any sense? putting prohibitively high taxes on importing goods and services and outsourcing from china, india, mexico, third world etc.

“but then the average person would never be able to afford anything! a low end beater car would cost $100000000! a sh1tty house would cost $999999999999999999999999!! a pair of pants would cost $108237922193849! so what if there were american jobs making pants! you wouldn’t be able to afford pants!”

that argument.

well, i would argue that people are too greedy and want too much stuff. you don’t need a huge house or a fancy car, you might not even need a car period. you don’t need to go to college, you don’t need a lot of money to live and survive and have a family.

but then we would be living like poor people in the third world!!

well, it would certainly be a Downshift from what we are used to. But I think I could handle it. And I can barely handle a Full Time JOB, hehehehe.

a great idea I agree with but certainly did not create is that people could focus on owning apartment buildings rather than HOMES, and then they could rent out the apartments only to people they like and trust, and also live in the building themselves. theoretically you might sacrifice some profits, to have a more Exclusive Clientele.  Essentially create your own little Nation, really. maybe even starting a business and creating jobs for Your People.

yeah sounds sort of like a cult dont it. heh well i do like cults. but this would be more like a nation i swear.

a SUPER strong sense of community in other words. HOWEVER it’s really tricky to do this without being MARXIST SOCIALISM. But i think it could be done. a Right Wing Community. It would be a Community rather than a Collectivist Collective.

Do Normalfags even HAVE these kinds of ideas? more later.