may 2

after girl7 rejected me for the last time in october 2012, it was prob after then that i “crossed the rubicon” in terms of becoming a huge racist. i didn’t have to worry about some wifely woman rejecting me because i was a Racist Extremist, so I was gonna become a Racist Extremist.

since then I have kinda toned down on that, although I certainly still am Pro-My-Own-Race, as every race probably SHOULD be.

NOW. I was in full blown luv with Girl7 for…. not quite four years, but at least three and a half years. they say it takes half the amount of time you were “In a rel” with somebody to fully get over them. like if you were married for ten years, you won’t be fully over your x-wife for FIVE years.

now i was not married or even in a rel with girl7, but i was heavily in luv with her, so, same thing. half of…jeez. let’s just say four years, is two years, QED, in Octover 2014 I will be Fully Over Girl 7, and ready to Date Again!

heh. but I feel I am pretty over her right now anyway. in may 2014. yes i am a full three months ahead in the blog, almost. that is fine. maybe I will go up to four!

heh. what would MOTIVATE me to not be lazy. or you. well, banging a cute young gurl. that would give me the energy and the masculinity to go out there and get a new job, or do a masters degree (in stem) and get a REAL good job.

SO, QED, I should be busting my bunz to get that 18 yo qt, because that will give me the energy to bust my bunz to work hard in everything that REALLY counts.

how 2 do a masterz degree when you REALLY don’t want to.

i guess “morally” lazy loser is redundant and perhaps confusing. definitely kinda dated. the important thing is that you are physically lazy and don’t DO anything. of course that stems from Moral Laziness, in that Laziness is Inherently Immoral and Evil; but you don’t stop it because that would take Moral Effort; and I was referring to the deadly SIN of sloth. but yeah it manifests in you turning into a physically lazy loser as well. just a lazy loser. not sure if i can change the name of this blog. the moral is important, but not super important to the catchiness of the name.

f00king careers. in order to be a winner, you HAVE to have a career. f00king sucks.

actually i can think of another guy who worked at the same job making minimum wage for like 8 years, with NO raises, no promotions. and he was a smart guy who deserves a raise at least once a year! yet if the company can get away with not giving you a raise…..they will not give you a raise in 8, 10, etc years.  they will not reward such loyalty. he is a very smart guy but staying there so long was not very smart. and of course i worry that I would do the same exact thing if i were able to get a job i could stick with for so long.

i kinda did that with my previous job, although i got a tiny raise every year, it was still a nowhere, dead-end job. but it was stress-free and i stayed there for FIVE years. down the toilet! but no stress. and no layoffs. hehehe. but low pay, not enough hours, and dead end. hmmm. pros and cons. hehehehe. but at the end of the end, muh stressful current job is a big step up, and a far cry more WINNING, because more hours and way higher pay.

may 3

saturday. on saturdays i chill out a bit. i woke up at 4 am and laid there awake for like an hour feeling very cripplingly depressed, of course i shoudl K myself because i’m a total hopeless loser who can’t do the bare minimum of life, and will never be gainfully employed or sow wild oats, will never find my way, i am already an OLD MAN, it’s too late. but I can’t K myself because of my family and of course HELL. so, now what.

well thankfully i fell back asleep but then had a horrible dream where i was a soldier at war and then we were captured by the enemy, who, strangely enough, were americans like us. we were in a hut and captured and waiting to be executed by the captors. i was laying face down with a gun muzzle pressed up against my head, and my captor was joking and laughing sadistically, obviously drawing this out, and i was begging him just to make it quick and painless, which was the last thing he wanted to do!

but in dreams like this, there is often the implication that is is a Video Game. Thankfully I was transformed into a person on the Captors Team, where I quickly got out of the hut and tried to find the “console” so I could reset the “game”, and thought jeez, that guy’s a psycho.

Oh yeah I also saw girls3 and 7 in the series of dreams. girl 3 very briefly, so that didn’t really matter. but girl7…. i was in a mall or movie theater and bumped into her after a long time. I was fairly cool. She seemed more warm and wanting to hang out again. she gave me a link to her “dating website”. so it seemed she might be interested in the idea of “Dating”, but did she realize how easy it would be for me to fall back in luv with her. maybe she was just trying to sow her “wild oats” now that she was hugely successful in her career and had grown out of her asexuality…..but it didn’t necessarily mean she wanted a serious relship like I did with her, she just wanted some D; however I also have my rule of thumb, that if you have a change to bang a girl, you should TAKE IT.

because even if you are in total luv with the grill, banging her hard will guarantee you MORE bangs in the future, and will show masculinity, which will make the gurl more into you, so you can reach your goal of wedded bliss with this Special Angelic Gurl that you’re in Luv with for some biochemical reason.

for example, i wanted to bang girl7 at least 500 times.gurls you’re not in luv with, you onyl want to bang 10, 20, maybe 50 times at the max. but not her! she was special! she was different! because i was in luv with her!

yes i really was. no fake.



june 17

ok now i am going backwards hehehe.

riffing off something which i will publish in a few days, confidence is king. confidence is what you should aim for. not gurls, not money, but inner confidence in yourself, feeling like a boss as much as possible.

it occurred to me that whenever i got dumped by a grill, it was during “THE HONEYMOON PERIOD.” when i was on cloud 9, feeling like a total boss, and then the sh1t would totes hit the fan. meaning i was in the honeymoon but they were like, i gotta get out of THIS!!!

and i was butthurt because, like any normal person, i don’t like being rejected by a lover, AND I was just starting to get used to the touch and feel of gurls and wanted to experience that a lot, lot, lot, lot more, with the dates and cuddling and touching and god forbid the sechs.

so i felt like i was cut off of the sechs i was entitled to, i wanted to bang them each easily 100 more times, just to get used the experience.

but i wasn’t entitled to anything, they were entitled to say no whenever they wanted, and boy did they say no early!!!!

no mas!!!

so understandably i was not happy for a while.

anyway, the point is, its funny how YOU can be in the honeymoon period, while THEY can be like, this has to end NOW.

I wasn’t really “dating” or “going out” with those gurls anyway, it was more pre-dating, or them feeling out whether they wanted to date me or not, and they certainly didn’t! they were just brief affairs that lasted 10 to 15 “dates”, certainly under 3 months, prob under 2 months, and fizzled out before it became An Actual Thing.

But I speak about them because it’s the closest approximation I have to Actually Having A Thing With A Grill, or “Dating”, or “A Relationship.”

and indeed i had Deep Feelz for them and wanted to date them, and was in luv with them, that’s why they became Numbered Gurls. 2 and 3, hehehehe.

yep, only 25% of my True Luv Gurls have I ever actually DONE anything with, and even those, I didn’t ACTUALLY “date”. Nice Track Record, uh???

not a great confidence builder, hehehehehe.

to protect yourself from being sucked in and trapped by a gurl you don’t really like, just because you’re desperate, and she likes you more, tell her right off the bat that you only do open relationships. because jealousy is so immature and open relationships is how you fix jealousy, hehehehe. but really you’re just not that interested in her and want to use her as a stepping stone to someone better.

using a human being as a stepping stone. you shouldn’t do that in the first place, HORRIBLE karma, and believe you me, I certainly don’t need any more bad karma, I am still paying the price for bad karma from 10 years ago, i need some GOOD karma.

so, if gurl 2 did in fact get divorced, should i be trying to pursue her for long distance sechs? because i still didn’t “feel closure” with her, hahahaha, and still would like to bang her 500 times.

like some gurls i did “get closure” with. girl7 for sure. girl8 absolutely not.

i mean closure is bullsh1t anyway, gurls like to want to have closure………except when they don’t. they don’t let you have closure, they don’t HAVE to let you have closure, and then that has to be good enough for you.

i guess you could go up to them and say “give me closure” and they would say something like “get away from me, i’m getting a restraining order, there’s your closure” and really that is pretty good closure. i’m not encouraging you to stalk or terrorize any woman. it’s VERY bad karma that you DEF don’t need.

better karma would be to bang the girl’s little sister or her frands, hehehehe.

THAT’S what i should have done!!!!!!

so, no stalking, and no drunken emails or phone calls or voice mails either. NONE OF THAT.

remember you are dealing with HUMAN BEINGS, and you don’t want to bring any bad karma on yourself, or hurt anyone more than you have been hurt. good karma is the endgame.

heh. i think if the sh1t ever hit the fan again with a grill, i would handle it a lot better than i did 10 years ago, getting drunk and angry and emotional and really looking like a loser. I would just chin up and move on and come across as the better man.

i mean i handled girl7 pretty good didn’t I??? Yes i did. however, we were never actually “involved.” I was just in luv with her without ever even touching her. no making out, no hand holding, no nothing. and THAT was stupid. I would handle THAT part better now.

kinda like how I should really email girl8 sooner rather than later……..

also, guys need a SH1TLOAD of confidence to get with even just one gurl ever. Gurls do not need ANY confidence to get with guys. Even a confidenceless gurl is not likely to spread for a confidenceless guy.

if you’re a man, and if you’re reading this, you probably are – men are my target audience, who i’m trying to help – if you’re a man, YOU NEED CONFIDENCE. PERIOD.


may 2

yeah buddy. was feeling superbad about jobs and being a loser so i went for a second powerwalk to get to 4.8 miles for the day. nice.

probably the best thing i can do is, contact my “current” job mgr and ask them for an “ETA” on my rehire.

my other aces in the hole are, going to a staffing agency, and lying mah ballz off. just lying and being more full of sh1t than ever before, in order to tell them exactly what they want to hear.

maybe going to the docker and demanding a sh1tload of prozac and a sh1tload of buspar so i can function throughout the day and not freak out and quit the job.

bring a one sheeter to the docker and know exactly which drugs you want. you will want to pick off the $4 rx list because of course you don’t have good health care. but you can get prozac and buspar off there. sh1t i am pretty sure str8 up XANAX can be got in a generic that is not horribly expensive.

but don’t expect your docker to know all this, or to know the name of the drug, or to write it for a generic, that’s why you bring in a one sheeter and tell him EXACTLY what you want!

you should be able to get a visit for less than $100. I know I can get a visit for like $80. so save up $80 or put it on your credit card. make sure the office takes credit cards. not all of them do!

and then lie your balls off to show you are not just GOOD, but PERFECT, and take tons of meds to keep you from K’ing yourself because of your job. the end. hehehehe.

now once you get the job, do eveyrthing you can to get ahead. suck up, show how smart you are, etc. sometimes a company actually will promote you because they can see you are smarter than everyone else, and then you become assistant manager in under a year.  extreme example, but still.

at my job there is a clique of “cool kids” which I should be kissing their A’s harder, and bringing in coffee for them. that is how you suck up, you come in with like 10 tim hortons coffees. even though there is a coffee machine there you can make folgers with. I always drink a ton of folgers and never buy tim hortons. this will be my downfall if i don’t correct course (another great buzzword.)

i wonder how can they stack all these trays of coffee cups in their car and drive without spilling all the stuff. that honestly is my main concern.

plus i am noticing more d1ckheads than i did at first. like, do all these people really NEED to be such 4ssholes? I did the job without being such a huge 4sshole.

if paxil and prozac are both similar ssri’s, it is possible that one would have a drastically different effect over the other? because muh paxil does nothing, and i would hope prozac would make a drastic difference. like cure muh laziness and make me a hard worker and make me motivated to get a useful masterz degree and enter the middle class and get a nice lower middle class career job and a lower middle class wief who doesn’t gain 9000000000 pounds the instant she hits 30.

i argue you can have several children each with a different woman and be a good father to each of the children. that way if one woman sucks, you can minimize your involvement with her, but still work with her to be a parent to that child, and then have a better woman for your next wife. wives are like CARS. they get sh1tty after a few years, then you gotta get a new one.

who cares. just worry about banging cute 18 yo’s first, and sowing your wild oats.

and also finding a ft job that you can stay at for a few years. damn. f00k.

sh1t who cares if you don’t get promoted. just a place you can not quit or not get laid off for two good years. DAMN.

i’ve actually met people who were bigger losers than me. sort of. one guy had a valid excuse, because he never finished his bach degree, and also he had huge health problems.

and this one guy who got laid off and then remained laid off for like 4 years, hehehe.

and all the guys in prison are bigger losers than me! but I have never actually MET them hehehe. I am thinking of people I’ve actually met in person.

i know plenty of people who never finished their degree, but they are still gainfully employed and getting pvssy. well, it’s not great pvssy, hehehehe.

anyone who finished their degree and became a loser? Nope, only me. Everyone else got masterz degreez and good middle class masterz degree jobz and wives.

so, obvious answer is, get a masterz degree. take out loanz and just do it, and odds are i will prob get a decent job afterwards.  so just do it already. i can assure you i would know well enough to not get a useless masterz degree. I would get something heavily STEM oriented.

i would also do everything i could to Kiss A with my professors, hang out with them before and after class, and pump them for names of contacts at companies who could get me a job. ideally i would get a masters degree job even before officially completing the masterz degree. at the very latest, then the second after graduating. no later. the entire PURPOSE of getting a masterz degree is to get a GOOD JOB.

sh1t the entire purpose of getting a bach degree should be to get a good job!

well I’m sorry LORD, I done f00ked it up. please give me the strength and the COURAGE to unf00k it.



june 17

well got back from the shrink. also got an email saying would be getting “offer details” by the end of the week.

with the huge management shakeup, and the horrible planning / readiness for q1, namely, why hire at least 2 or 3 times the people you’re going to actually need, ie why hire a sh1tload of people only to lay most of them off almost immediately; why can’t you anticipate your business needs better than that, don’t you have mbas;

but they like to push a smaller number of people until they break, rather than spreading the work out;

in other words i wouldn’t be surprised to get a pay cut. now my pay was pretty good, but when i saw how stressful the job was, i said THIS AIN’T ENOUGH MONEY. I would take a pay cut for a reduction in stress, but right now, they should be paying me MORE.

which is of course, still way less than muh college peers and x-lovers are making with their harvard masterz degrees, hahahahahahahahahaha.

well, we’ll see. i will know the job better thus be less stress. also, work during summer and fall is different and inhernetly less stressful. also i have my plan to exercise moar and thus relieve more stress. and also possibly get some new meds from the doc to help.

heh. ideally get a new job by january 2015. that’s when sh1t gets REAL stressful at the job.

worst case scenario, power thru q1 2015 and if i do not snap, then really get serious about getting new job after muh layoff then. plus have more experience to add value for employerf4gs.

but they could possibly keep me by giving me a big pay raise come april 2015.

yeah it sucks not being a valuable employee, but a very replaceable employee, but it’s too much damn work to become valuable. years and years of grueling work that could very well not pay off. you gotta really believe in it religiously.

but i might just go to trade skool and become an electrician once i find a renewable source of Wild Oats, hahahaha.

i am such a sechsual libidinous ID of a person that the sechsual needs come before anything else. first philosophy. ontology.  its a little decadent sure, but i will be less decadent once i get the decadence out of my system. which i have not yet done.

get it out of your system. give it the ol college try. get deep in the action.

i met a guy who had no healthy insurance, as many of us over 25’s don’t, and he needed some serious dental work, so he went to nicaragua of all places to get it done. i should have asked him more about that, but i assume he wouldn’t have had it done there if he could get it done cheaper in the US.  now he is a far out guy who is really off the grid and travels a lot for months at a time backpacking and couch surfing and camping and hostels and communes and all that.  kind of nice actually, i would still like to get my backpacking thru europe phase out of my system, hehehe. really all i am missing is the balls. you would really “only” need like 1500 bucks to fly to london or paris. then you could use your social skills to get jobs for travel and shelter money. work on a farm, get free food and shelter for the night, make a few bucks to get a “eurail” pass or something, stay with anarchists for free.

i like that kind of help each other out attitude but wish there was something on the right for it and not just leftist marxist anarchists. that would be my life mission hehehe. setting up a rightist community like that. prob largely based on extended families owning well-fortified compounds that produced income for themselves by supplying a useful trade like welding, electrician, plumbing. 30 family members living in a big house, homeschooling, prepping, have room to take in trusted friends.

a rightist commune basically. i have already mentioned this. or i will. not sure when that gets published.

of course theres the argument that you can never HAVE a rightist commune, because communes are INHERENTLY leftist, because collectivism is leftist and individualism is rightist.

well i say rightists are smart enough to come up with a working solution. all it is is building your own community.

also let me throw the idea out there about Ridesharing and Transportation Network Companies like Lyft or Uber. this is like a cheaper version of a taxi where people with cars volunteer to drive people without cars and get paid all thru The App. Supposedly they say it is 30% cheaper than a taxi. I saw a guy get an Uber Car on my recent trip and they arrived in like 15 minutes from when he first requested it. i was amazed. no surprised that Andreesen Horowitz is backing this.

i would recommend becoming a driver. i guess you can make up to $20 an hour, which is PROBABLY more than you’re making now. plus all your fares will be nonviolent hipsters and gunless leftists, rather than raging violent crackheads. probably some cute early 20s gurls in there!!!

BUT i think you can’t have a DUI. jeez o petes.



may 2

the most convincing reason not to hate is because winners don’t hate, they’re too busy winning. the LEAST convincing reason not to hate is because some collegefag tells you it’s “toxic” or unhealthy or ignorant.  or that only losers hate, because they’re mad about being losers, and all the loserness and hate has clouded their mind and made them stupid.

but if you feel the need to hate, go right ahead, and you might even find it’s not as bad as you thought. for example, I don’t hate all women, rather, i hate it when wimmin i Really Luv Reject Me. And I am annoyed and don’t agree with women being promiscuous. but i don’t even hate that. and i certainly don’t hate any woman enough to do violence against them!

so yeah i really don’t hate any groups of people. i don’t even hate individual people who have wronged me, not any more, i have moved on. i have forgiven or at least forgotten or at least moved on. time heals all wounds, hehehehe.

getting a job is as hard as getting into HARVARD. you can’t just show that you’re good enough, you have to show that you’re PERFECT. There are a hundred if not a THOUSAND other people competing for ONLY ONE job, and you have to be THE SINGLE BEST out of ALL of them.

But since Everyone Needs a Job, and many people aren’t THE BEST at something, or at least something employable, then the most effective way for Average People to get a job is to LIE. LIE, LIE, LIE. I am fully in support of Lying Your Pants Off. Note: on things they can’t prove or disprove thru an official background check.

if they ask you what your DREAM JOB would be, LIE and say that this IS your dream job, this job at this company. It will feel real weird and disingenuous at first lying like this, but once you do it a few times, you will get used to it, sell yourself well, and get into the HARVARD of becoming Gainfully Employed for $12 an hour.

Then you too can make $24k a year and move out of your parents basement into a studio apartment, and bang the broads that let guys who only make 24k a year bang them!

again, find the hipster student early twenties neighborhood, get a place there, and bang the mid twenties girls in the bars. you can do this till you’re 45 at least.

oh lord i haven’t banged a gurl in SO LONG. how about u? hehehe. I haven’t even MADE OUT with a girl in so long, and the last time i did that, it sucked. I mean it was kinda funny because I was raging drunk and got a funny story out of it, but the girl was not so hot and I never would have done it if I weren’t raging drunk. heh. and I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in YEARS, thank GOD.

how about you?

does a man CHANGE mentally somehow when he’s had physical action from a wimmin? I believe YES, yes he does. he becomes more tough, more masculine, better attitude, better worker, happier, better, stronger, more of a WINNER, more alpha, etc.

It is ESSENTIAL to Men’s HEALTH that they thus get Physical Action from Wimmin. J3rking off is an ok substitute, but the real deal is 90000000000 times better. so go to a hooker or strip club.

also it is may, i always get very libidinous after a long winter. how about u?

thing is, losers have no LEGITIMACY. Who’s gonna listen to a LOSER, rather than a Winner? Losers don’t know what they’re talking about, otherwise they would have become winners. Losers are Doing It Wrong. DON’T listen to losers unless you want to become like them.

heh. so i should stop writing right now. well it’s really not super COMPLICATED to become a winner, even losers know HOW to. that’s my rebuttal. even I know HOW to, it’s just a matter of IMPLEMENTATION, hehehehe. yes, use that word in your jerb interview. my god, use it many times in your job interview. put it on your one sheeter for shure.

why a one sheeter and not 90000000 sheetz? because 9000000 sheetz are too much to remember, too intimidating. one sheet is manageable.

really vectorize that vortal.

bring in pizza every time you have a job interview. like $40 worth of pizza. and not cheap sh1tty pizza either, like their boss will buy once every 3 years, but halfway decent pizza.

go a temp agency, or staffing agency, dress up nice, and have a meeting with a person. talk to a person. and this you can just chill out for, and just have a f00king conversation with them and tell them what you want and what you can do. i probably should have tried Temp Agencies moar. like actually going into a Manpower Office and talking to the nice lady with the HR or Recruiting degree. and be like, please maam, i need a job, i desperately need a FT job, I’m at the end of my rope here, Pleeeeeease help me and I will buy 10 boxes of cupcakes for you.

i honestly never went to physical temp agencies enough. or staffing agencies. that was a mistake of mine. learn from my mistakes!

also, if you get a chance to bang a gurl…..DO IT!

like with one gurl I was “predating” and things were going well, we were making out, but rather than banging her outright I just Fingerbanged her Disgusting Early 20’s Cvnt, because I was in Luv with her and wanted to save the First Bang for a Few Good Dates Later. Of course, that never happened. Because I was dumped for not being a man and banging her then. and then I was all buttmad for a few years. I am over it now, but now, MANY years later, I have not come THAT close to banging a gurl THAT attractive. Beware!


june 18


if you have to think for a few seconds about if you’d actually like to have S with a gurl, you probably don’t really want to, and forcing yourself to do so would be weird and awkward.

if you have a take her or leave her attitude towards a gril, probably should not get married to her.

you know you might have real deep feelings for a grill if you would be pretty disappointed if she rejected you.

ditto if you feel real compelled to make a move on her, and that you would be kicking yourself if you let the chance slip through your fingers.

also if a woman has to beg you like 9 times to marry them…….you probably don’t really want to marry them. I wanted to marry girl7 or girl8 and I never even went out with them!

but just remember all women, even the horrible ones, are human beings are do not deserve you being a real serious d1ck to them. you do not want to be a sociopath or a user or abuser, you are better than that.

this absoltuely does not mean you should respect a wimmin’s promiscuity however! f00k no!

or that you should say “ok, whatever you want” when she decides to dump you for strange d1ck!

you should say, “you can do whatever you want, baby, you’re a big girl now, just know that this is a real bad move, bad karma for you, this makes you look real bad and reflects very poorly on your character, you lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas, this is shameful and you should be ashamed, thank you for revealing your true colors because now i know you don’t deserve me, i’m out of your league, I need a better woman than you, so enjoy your partying like an idiot, you really threw something good away, i’m done with you, i’m over you right now, here’s your closure, have a good life, goodbye forever.” the end.

heh. i wish i had learned that in grade skool or high skool or college, hehehe.

so now i pass that wisdom on to you now.

had a dream i was with some guys and they ordered 4 hookers. all the hookers looked ok but i was having trouble picking my favorite. also they passed me around and were eyeballing me as if they had the chance to reject me before i rejected them. heh. if i wanted that kind of treatment, i’d go to a nonhooker woman! hehehehehe

i recall one grabbed muh b4lls4ck and felt it and said something like “feels fresh” or something. whatever a fresh b4llsack feels like.

then when it came time for me to pick my hooker, the lights went down and it was real hard to get a good look at them. i was trying to get a good look at their faces. i think i ended up going with the biggest one, a real big boned meaty woman.

which i like sometimes, but not all the time. but i do generally prefer Leggy women.

women women women women women. yep i have much more important things to worry about that women, such as my career and my life going nowhere, but for some reason my brain is wired this way right now and i can’t change it. i can only try to appease my hindbrain or whatever, try to get some of it out of my system, build confidence with women, so i can then work on the REAL important stuff afterwards. weird.

so i prob will try to get to the strip club pretty soon just to see if that does anything.

see my frands who grew up in the super middle class town all went to this “alternative” high school which is not what you think, for trashy f00kups. no this was for solid middle class kids to develop creativity and artsiness and thinking outside the box etc. there was really no popular/unpopular hierarchy, everybody was nerds, and everybody got action. even the nerdiest boys “dated” a lot of gurls in high school and learned social skills with girls, and everybody had lots of friends. whereas in a more normal hgih school, you have hierarchies, you have stricter alpha beta dichotomies, you have kissless virgins, you know right away if you’re alpha or beta, you get a little resentment towards women for slutting it up with alphas and always rejecting you as a beta.

so these kids had an experience i am somewhat jealous of, being able to get with 16 year old gurls when you are 16.

but oh well, can’t go back in time. if i could i would have. erry day. take me right back to age 18 so I can


but you can’t have a do over in life. so you have to learn to live with that. and life goes on. unless you k yourself, hahahaha. but seriously do NOT K yourself.

ok i’m switching from firefox to chrome to see if its faster and smoother, even though i like mozilla better than google as a company.

got a nice powerwalk in. 3.2 miles. very humid. its not the heat its the humidity hehehe. was drenched with sweat even though it was only 77 degrees. i took my recent privilege vacation to a warm area where they have no winter, and it was like 80 to 90 degrees, but not as humid. i can take the heat all day. luv it.

jobs and wimmin. wimmin and jobs. who gives a f00k. drop acid and find your lifes purpose hehehehe.


may 1

heh. when you see people that are well-adjusted normalfags, they remind you of how Different and Weird you are. It’s not that they don’t WORK HARD, indeed they do, but the hard work doesn’t kill them the way it kills us.

What doesn’t kill them makes them stronger, what doesn’t kill us makes us weaker.

hehehehehe. nice.

so yeah. i can’t stop thinking, is globalization necessary? do we really have to accept it or die? what’s the best way to accept it? how do we survive in the global world? what if we don’t want to get masters degrees or be leftists?

but still, the MUCH more imporatnt question is, how do we push ourselves to WORK HARD and BE SUCCESSFUL? cuz everything follows from that: good job, good wimmin, nice life, nice neighborhood, can provide for your children and have them be as successful as you, etc. doesn’t mean you have to live in a million dollar mcmansion!

just need to instill the values of Work Hard and Never Give Up in your children.

Because I don’t want to Work Hard, and I have essentially Given Up.

how about you?

heh. obviously it is time for my 3.2 mile powerwalk. the negative thoughts are creepin.

may 2

well i took the pwalk but continued to have neg thoughts about the job, about letting new job slip away, how i’ll never have an opportunity that good, and what if i don’t get to go back to my current job, PLUS getting a layoff this long every year is SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE, and not sustainable for an adult. all because i didn’t want to go thru the stress of learning a New Job???!?!?!?!?!?!

so then i took some nyquil at seven pm and slept it off. feel a teensy bit better today but not full of energy or anything. not particularly employable hehehe.

i guess the good news is that i can fake my way through practically any interview, with the help of my One Sheeter. always bring a One Sheeter with you to an interview, dress up nice, and talk like a smart person. write smartguy sentences on your one sheeter and just memorize and regurgitate, like reading a script.

we need to become like ninjas, like Covert Ops WARRIORS, whatever kind of Clandestine Warrior Imagery you like. Jedi. Black Ops. Navy Seals. Strong and Disciplined. for the cause of our our survival in Work and Wimmin. Yeah, Wimmin SUCK, but we do need them to mate, because the Long Term is Important, and Family is Important. That is kinda a First Principle of this Blog which is gonna turn away a lot of people who don’t agree, who think children and family are not important.

well, how can you not say the Long Term is not important? Most men do have an interest in the Long Term even if they don’t have an overt interest in having children.

also, most men have an interest in having S with cute young wimmin, even if they don’t have an overt interest in Getting Long Term Screwed by Wimmin.

you could prob get away with taking nyquil on a work night, if you took it the SECOND you clocked out. because nyquil stays in your system like 16 hours, and if you are groggy the next day at work, then you get fired for bad performance, or at least get scolded and abused, or have a nervous breakdown, if you’re not performing well because you must be mentally SHARP as a TACK, and nyquil will definitely slow you down.

it IS exhausting to try to be SHARP for a mere 40 hours a week! for the remaining hours of the week, you just want to shut your mind down with massive quantities of w33d!!!!!!

annihilate your mind with physical pleasures and stupefiers! unplug your brain and destroy your brain, kill your brain! give yourself your own homemade electroshock treatment to reboot your brain! or give yourself a lobotomy!

that kind of thing.

of course it may well be a dui offense to drive with an open bottle of nyquil in your car!

or theoretically fire up a big fat Bowl immediately upon getting into your car. but that of course is even more risky, and of course w33d will impact your ability to drive. but that commute time is essential, if it could be converted into Lobotomy Tiem, that would be ideal! so i am sure lots of people DO fire up a huge bowl the instant they get in their car. not officially recommending it though.

was thinking i could have been a good “Economics” major. yes, econ is a useless degree, but is it any more useless than “business administration?” I think econ is better! more intelligent! but who is more employable, biz admin or econ? given a Completely Average, NonElite University?

well, if you get an Econ and Math double major, or become a QUANT or Quantitative Economics (or is it Quantitative Finance???) then that is solid. money. very employable, very good, alpha career job, attractive wimmin.

if you have an older brother, pump him for a job. if you don’t, oh well. if you ARE the older brother, but you’re the loser, and your younger brother is the winner, then pump your younger brother for a job.

if you get a chance to have S with an unattractive wimmin, maybe just go ahead and TRY it, just to experience ANY kind of S with any nonhooker woman. you probably won’t LOVE it, but you might not HATE it as much as you think, and it might pave the way for S with more attractive wimmin later. and you won’t have to worry about regretting passing up the “opportunity”. it will be a character builder, a learning experience, something to talk and write about. so just do it. but don’t get sucked into dating her! that’s what you REALLY want to avoid!