CANT WIN IF YOURE AFRAID TO LOSE

apr 23

oy vey. anyway. this new job is diff from my current job because newjob is an entire headquarters of a company, with all its departments, right there on the grounds. current job is one fraction of one department of a huuuge corporation, with a ton of people in a huge intimidating noisy room. so getting out of that environment would be good.

however i would be dealing with more departments. lots of “running around”. well, i already do a lot of mental running around dealing with the MILLIONS of potential problems faced by our one department. oftentimes being faced with stuff that really is Not Our Responsibility, but doing it anway.

if they start asking me awkward questions about The Many Mistakes I’ve Made, I’ll just reframe it and say, can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, can’t succeed until you’ve failed a few times and conquered your fear of failure, can’t win if you’re afraid to lose, and, as my record shows, I’m DEFINITELY not afraid to lose! I also know how to spell definitely.

well, if i’m not WINNING enough for you, I will go back to my Full Time Job then. it’s not like this is an Elite Middle Class Employer. Strictly Upper Working Class. they can’t get Middle Class Career Masterz Degree Tryhards.

but they can get nonlazy people who are willing to show initiative and work hard, hehehehe.

one thing that can really motivate that, is having kids, which causes you to Man Up, Do The Right Thing, Grow Up, and Work a Nonglamorous Working Class Job Job, rather than some non-breeding Middle Class Collegefag what wants a Careeeeeeeeer.

in this case, lying and saying that you have a young kid or kids may help you, it makes you look more reliable, someone who will show up every day, not no call no show, than some single person who can just hop on a train and leave.

ok what i did was make a “ONE SHEETER”  where I listed some of the most common int questions i could think of, and then my perfect answer, and then squeezed basically everything i need to know for the interview on to one sheet of paper. with .2 margins, size 8 font, like a math exam cheat sheet. and then I will bring that one sheet in with me. and also a res, CL, recent classes transcript, and 2 whole ref letters.

apr 24

well i did the interview, it was me and the owner/CEO, and then the CFO, who, not sure if he is #2 in power, but certainly damn close. manages the money son, and prob has authority to hire and fire anyone.

CEO was a very no nonsense man in mid/late sixties. I tried to show confidence and looked him straight in the eye.  He did do a few things to try to put me at ease, so i appreciated that. but he also was very clear that the job was not for the timid. reiterated that point a lot. hammered that point home.

and that was what gave me the most pause, because i am very totes timid as f00k.

HOWEVER they liked me enough that getting the job is a very real possibility, in fact maybe about 75% certainty lets say.

in fact my gut reaction was to run far away, chose “the devil I know” over “the devil I don’t know”, even though I was saying the opposite thing yesterday.

they are still deciding how much money to offer me. I told them my current wage, and then gave them my desired wage, which was one dollar more.

to be really convinced/sold, I would like one dollar more than THAT!!!!!!

there were two positions available, high stress and low stress. the ceo guided me towards the high stress one, as being more apropos for a kollige edumacated intellectual such as muhself.

in fact they came right in talking about the high stress one, then i had to interrupt to say, but I thought another position was on the table too. then he said well yes there is, and continued to steer me towards the original one.

they wanted to move me out of there quick, but they also seemed to like me, with the CEO saying something like “you’re a fine young man” which is probably a good sign, and even if not, at the very least it is polite.

i did not get much time to splain how I was not super aggressive. like I say, they were in a hurry. but they also sent signals that they felt good about me. the #2 guy told me to call him today, and i have been back and forth ever since.

first thought was umm no, i don’t want more stress, and I was just starting to get the hang of my current job, it was starting to possibly become less stressful.

then, how much would they have to pay me for me to take this job? heck once I saw how stressful my current job was, I wanted more money.

so i expressed my concerns to muh friend who got me the interview, and he seemed to kinda push me towards the job, when I was expecting something from him like “yeah that job might not be your style”. but instead more like “I think you would do a good job and should go for it.”

so there’s that, which does count for something.

so then I called the guy back with the plan of expressing my concern, asking a few more questions, being honest about my Personality, finding more about the pay, seeing if he could offer anything to ease my mind.

Which was better than my immediate plan, which was to call him and say NO THANKS.

So I have come a long way in the past few hours hehehe. and then when i finally called him, he was out to lunch, not suprising cuz it is around lunchtime, so i said i’ll call back in an hour.

and now I am typing here trying to figure it all out maaaaann. to be continued….

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