april 22

if i get this new job, i guess i can tell you what my current job is. or what my previous job was. well, i have already given enough info for the astute observer, and i am too smart to EVER give the company names EVER.

i guess i could move into an apartment much closer to this job. know the perfect neighborhood. not too expensive, and filled with early 20s sluts in the party phase. It’s a SIGN!!!!

I want to bang kimmy from full house. HOW ABOUT YOU?

anyway I will be too stressed out for the next three months to bang a grill, even a drunk one. uhh may june july. well, the girls will still be partying during august and september, which are summery enough. as long as I bang one or two grills then, I can WITHSTAND a bangless winter until summer again.


No problem mon, I can withstand many bangless YEARS and I can WITHSTAND a couple more. Although I would LIKE to bang some 18 year olds before I turn 40.

got my 4.8 miles of walking in today. NOICE. you should try to do this too. Walking 4.8 miles per day is the easiest and funnest form of exercise. Jogging is for huge f4990+5.

had a dream and this gurl i used to work with was innit. i haven’t seen her in about 2 years. she was cute but i always had an excuse, plus i was too focused on girl7, and this other girl was too stumpy, or didn’t have a good enough 4ss, bla bla bla. but occasionally she will show up in a dream and I will regret not at least trying with her, even though i didn’t even WANT to try at the time, I barely even NOTICED her.  now, she’s not cute enough that I’d Retroactively make her a numbered girl, like Girl8, who btw I might strip that number away from. anyway this other was not quite that good looking, but she is still cuter than I realized at the time, and a decent person, and well worth not just banging, but making out with, which, for average older women, is a nonstarter.

apr 23

heh back to the prayers to allay the anxiety. great old feeling, i remember it well, dat feel. although this is a bit more exciting because it is completely new. “the devil you know vs the devil you don’t” is A Thing, and in this case, I might prefer the devil I DONT know.

New Job Opp. Damn. Almost assuming I WILL get the job, interesting assumption. in the past I would go in for interviews and NEVER get the job. which make me discouraged and give up searching, which is NOT good and should NOT be mentioned, hehehe, in fact, you SHOULD say just the Opposite: “You got to fail to win, you can’t be afraid to fail, it should just make you more determined to win, to pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and try again and again until you succeed” and that’s what you should say during an interview.

now, the opposite happened with me, but since you can’t Legally PROVE Discouragement thru Concrete EVIDENCE, then you CAN lie about it, and thus lie you SHOULD.

Besides now muh communication skills are somewhat better, and when I know a person in the company, I have an edge.

so i am smart and capable, but by FAR my biggest weakness is Anxiety and Stress, Freaking Out Emotionally when Inundated With Issues At Work, turning into Deer In Headlights, one step away from Running Out Crying like a B1tch.

so you fake confidence, because they don’t know you, you can fake being a normalfag, and they don’t really know you’re a huge omega spaghetti pockets autist virgin wizard, and then in three months, you are GOLDEN as they used to say.

so i just shaved my huge UnemploymentBeard to look more presentable, professional, and employable. I enjoyed my Beard and Mourn its loss.

Heh. I would really like a BIG pay raise to compensate for the fact that the commute is TWICE as long, and goes thru many congested freeways, and goes thru Bad Urban Neighborhoods where if the car breaks down, I WILL be robbed, raped, tortured, and killed, in the Ungodly Lawless War Zone. This is not a Good Middle Class City like Chicago or New York. But a REAL city, where you see some Grim, Ugly Realities which the Posh Middle Class likes to pretend don’t even exist.

So, talk like a Smart Normalfag, use smart words and full sentences and just sound smart and confident, and talk to the people like people, and if they Push Back, then I can Push Back by saying, well LISTEN, I already HAVE a job that I’m going back to (true fact), I’m just shopping around right now. You don’t like me FINE, I’ll go back to making XY$ an hour at my CURRENT job.

heh. they don’t need to know how lazy I’ve been during my last 7 weeks of layoff.

of course last night I laid awake worrying for like 90 minutes in the dark. that is always fun.

i was thinking that, after the actual interview, to go on Shadowing current Employees for a few hours, with Management’s Permission of course. Of course they don’t want me stealing Trade Secrets. Maybe they would let me Shadow My Friend. Part of Showing That I will try to Train Myself Off The Company Clock.

Like if you need to drive a Hilo, pay an employee to train you before or after your own shift.

How much is TOO much to Work Off The Clock? What A Stupid Question! You should be working at LEAST X hours off the clock Every Single Week! And to think, the lazier employees want to make OVERTIME for that time, and you are willing to do it for FREE! Gives you a Big Advantage.