april 7 2014
thank god for all the good things he has given me. dear god give me strength and courage and calm. and ENERGY. good lord I have no energy. how about you?
well it was fun watching the game of thrones premiere. i watch it on a streaming site where people from reddit and 4chan battle each other in the chatbox. obviously reddit sucks and 4chan rules. the redditors are girls who whine about spoilers and racism and Dornish people being “so whitewashed”; and the 4channers are glorious, hilarious trolls. I stand with 4chan. I even contributed something of my own: “hodor likes to take jamie’s stump up his big g4y 4ss” hehehehe.
have a bag of peanuts in your room that you can snack on when you get hungry and do not want to make a meal.
unless you are morbidly obese, then you don’t need to be eating as much at all.
over the weekend I got together with a friend and we played “call of duty ghosts” trying to improve the kill death ratios, it was very fun, even more fun than drugs and alcohol. not as fun as banging 18 yo qtz though, haha. But it will get old less quickly than the girl! in 10 years the vidya gaymz with your frandsz will still be just as fun.
move to a college town with a really HUGE university, like florida state or a famous, HUGE, Party School, get a sweet unionized job at the university, and then bang 18 year old college gurls for the rest of your life. there will always be a fresh crop every year. if you get tired of that, you can start a more serious relationship with one of the girls if she has not taken too manny cox by the time you get to her.
if she b1tches at you for not being ambitious enough by just having a lowly univ staffer job, instead of being a lawyer or docker or masterz degree executive, then you can laff all the way to the bank, know that she is Not The Right One, and wait for the new crop of 18 year olds to come in. plenty of people would kill to have a job as sweet as yours.
so how do you get that job? uh be persistent and network with people in the department, and buy them organic pizzas, and do a good series of interviews. it will not be easy, i can assure you. bribe some managers. then hook me up with a job in your dept. i will buy you lunch every day for a year.
thinking me sleeping 10 hours a night is just my price of admission. yesterday i had nothing going on and decided to go to sleep early. drank some nyquil while watching jeopardy at 730pm. closed eyes at 8pm, was honestly real tired at that time. dozed, woke up around 9, fell back asleep, till about 10 am. lesson learned: maybe I need 14 hours of sleep a day, hahahaha. ok, between 10 and 14. how about 12.
might start playing the Top Forty Starting Hands. these are all the hands with a Positive Expected Value, ie, above zero. see how this strategy works.
also, if you plan on playing max buyin 10 chip game, my poker dummies book recommends you start with a bankroll of 100 chips. minimum ten times the max buyin. to get you through the Tuff Times. so when are you supposed to replenish your bankroll? I think when it runs out. but you don’t want it to ever run out if you are a good player. you just need to be prepared for Big Swings, it’s just a part of the game.
had a very weird dream. was having a big Coed Adolescent Slumber party, and I was very excited about maybe Making Out with some Young QTz.
then the police were called and one or two of the boys were arrested in handcuffs because they were smoking a little bit of Weed. The family whose house we were at were total Middle Class Progressive Professional Leftists who would certainly be soft on Weed and probably partook in it themselves on occasion, and I thought this was a bit hypocritical.
then we started watching a movie of my recommendation, a personal favorite. but i hadn’t seen it in a while, and it turned out being much more violent than I remembered. like horrible, insane, ungodly, depraved violence, and it also seemed like it was jumping out of the screen and our very slumber party was being terrorized. horrible stuff like toddlers getting their faces chopped in half by a meat cleaver or thrown into a wood chipper, young girls getting facef00ked by a guy with a huge knife strapped to his crotch, getting their eyeballs and faces impaled, little children getting thrown alive into deli meat slicers and cut into slices. we could not tell what was the movie and what was real life anymore. I apologized for picking the movie, i didn’t realize it was THIS bad, I wasn’t THAT crazy!
Then I found a spot on the couch next to a really cute young glasses hipster middle class pseudointellectual gurl. i discovered she did not have a Smart Phone and was impressed by that. she was not always playing with a phone.
then suddenly there was a shark swimming around on the floor trying to bite off everyones feet. eventually this girl got her feet bit off. then she got into a weird Suicide Submarine because she decided life was not worth living without her feet. I was starting to fall in luv with her and was upset, both for her and for me.
I asked a friend Why Did She Do This? Wasn’t that a bad idea? Why??? Then the friend said, well she felt she couldn’t live her life to the fullest without feet, couldn’t contribute to society, so why suffer, and why be dead weight, so yeah, it’s tough for us, but her decision makes sense and we are not allowed to be upset by it.
then i said something like I am useless and dead weight, maybe I should K myself too, and then friend said, but you still have your feet, you weren’t the tragic victim of circumstance, so you have no right to K yourself, you’re just a lazy loser.
I thought this all was BS, NO, the girl didn’t have a RIGHT to K herself, and I DID have a right to be upset. and College Brainwashes Intelligent Children into Worshipping a Career Cult and Destroying their Morality and Utterly Devaluing Human Life by saying when it’s OK to end yours or another person’s life.
And I probably cared a little bit more, because I was starting to fall in Luv with her! Special Feelings!
Real weird. Especially since my moral view here is so ambivalent. I generally am against abortion; but I am slightly in Favour of End of Life Euthanasia; and I am generally against Middle Of Life “Depression-Based” Suicide;
Middle Class Marxists are Pro Abortion, and Pro End of Life Euth, and more than likely Anti Mid Life Depression Suicide, yet I like to characterize them as Pro Mid Life Depr Suicide?????!!!
So now I am confused and disturbed, hehehe. not a pleasant dream.