apr 2

trying to get clear information out of any gummint agency is like pulling teeth. it is their job to make everything as confusing, unclear, frustrating as possible. yes, that obfuscation is very intentional.

so it is OBVIOUSLY damaging to one’s mental health to be at a job for 40-50 hours a week that is a living hell, stressful and negative and terrifying. go in there and everyone thinks you are stupid and weird and treats you accordingly, etc. but this is What Jobs Are, you’re the one with the problem, not them, so how do you solve it.

Well, tell yourself the reason you’re doing it: for the money. and to Not be a lazy loser, but a productive member of society. that should be enough. Heck it IS enough. All set, problem solved.

I really can’t get off this Benzo kick, where you take Benzos 3 out of 5 workdays. not the best long term solution, but it IS a solution for the short term, and any solution is better than no solution.

if your employer regularly tests specifically for drugs like benzos, that could be another problem, but I would say they are mainly looking for weed and illegal stuff.

there are actually nonbenzo anxiety drugs. i actually tried them once when I was real desperate. didn’t seem to do anything though. but now I am even more desperate. well, i will be when I start the job again.

All jobs suck in some way. it is up to You to find some way to DEAL with that suckiness.

And Never Forget: it is INFINITELY better to be a lazy, underachieving employee, than a lazy, underachieving unemployed layabout loser.

what if you took benzos to take away the work related stress, and then Stimulants SImultaneously so you could focus on the Fast Thinking needed to do your job.

no your child is not autistic, he’s just antisocial because you’re a horrible parent. if he were autistic, he would be really good at something, instead of being an antisocial loser little 4sshole.

i would like to do a study on all these new cases of autism, I bet there’s a lot of horrible single momz as their main parent. then the child becomes uncontrollable, and the single momz just CLAIM they’re autistic.

heh. can you tell I don’t like single momz?

its tuff really. because i am generally against abortion. and i think instead of mating with betas that the single momz dump, they mate with sexy alphas who dump THEM and are deadbeats to the children. and this is all a working class thing. the middle class sluts would just get abortions and then continue to do their high powered careerz, obviously, and then have one child after getting married near the age of 30, to a successful middle class man who is starting to show beta provider tendencies, but is alpha enough to have established a successful middle class career, which is still much more alpha than average!

also I think one benefit of abortion is that a sig number of abortions “weed out” children that almost certainly would have grown up to be Future Felons, or at BEST, lazy loser parasites who are bringing down society. but exactly what percentage of abortions would lead to these failures? and how large of a percentage can justify Me Giving The Thumbs Up to the Legality of Abortion in General? and aren’t I a Lazy Loser Parasite Drain On Society, Taking Much more than I give?

so those are the things i think about sometimes.

apr 3

so i had a few great hands very close together and was 6 chips up (16 chip stack) within 15 minutes. some experts say you’re not supposed to get out now, so you can more accurately establish your Hourly Win Rate; however I said F00K THAT, I want to KEEP my 6 chips!!!! which would certainly be eaten away by blinds and or bad beats.

so i left the table.

so, language and speaking and social skills are like magic that you can use to get people to do what you want, or at least to Soften The Blow when people are attacking you On The Job. You don’t even need to THINK. You just say the words “I’m SO Sorry, It will never happen again, I understand the impact this has, I apologize, I’m so sorry, It’ll never happen again,” bla bla bla, and go about your business, and go to your happy place of thinking about smoking w33d and banging 18 yos. and perhaps being a religious, morally superior man. which is not necessarily mutually exclusive with smoking w33d (in moderation) and banging 18 yo gurls (in moderation.)

was getting a teeth cleaning which i believe all of dentistry is a ripoff, but dental hygenist is a pretty good field to get into imho, although in my middle class snob phase i would look down on it as too prole, now i view it as too much work, hehehe. plus i have never seen a male hygenist. then i thought they probably have them in muslim countries. but do muslims go to the dentist? because getting your teeth cleaned regularly IS a middle class luxury. that is why proles have bad teeth.

anyway, I was thinking I have always been a SLACKER, ever since high school. yep. it started in high school. easily. it wasn’t so bad in grade school. but in high school, as I was put on the Intelligent High Achiever Track, i resented it, I didn’t want to do all the work that the Smart Track implied, like oh they have more homework and it’s harder too, all they do is study and be virgins.

so i found ways to slack there where i could, cut corners, not take as many AP classes as the highest achievers, and for that THEY called me a slacker, and I thought, ha those virgin faggots, and I would smoke weed and drink in HIGH SCHOOL, BAD IDEA, even worse than being a slacker, and now those faggot virgins have got great jobs, are solid middle class, married to attractive women. good for them. you reap what you sow.

NICE for the first time I found a .01/.02 blind table. SUPER micro stakes. before I always been playing .05/.10. NICE.