march 20

i cannot believe i used to get up and go to WORK for many hours every day. now after 3 weeks of layoff, I am back to zero energy, and can barely get up to watch tv or go for a powerwalk! and i am drinking more coffee than I did when I was working! and also staying up a little later.

anyway. who cares. i dont! just going to go with the flow. if i don’t have energy, then i don’t have energy. big deal.

had a weird dream last night where I was having a huge party with family and friends, and there was just a huge amount of people, way more people than there actually are in these groups. there was an “open orgy” side of the party, understood it was going to be relegated to one particular region, but it started seeping over and offending the squares. unfortunately I could not get any action out the orgy. the only people that were showing any interest in me were gay men. I was not interested. I left the orgy section and then I saw a girl I used to be in love with on the other side. Girl 4. I was happy she was not defiling herself like a wh0re on the orgy side. unfortunately she was in a really bitchy mood and did not want to hang out with me, much like in real life, hahahaha.

i went back to the orgy side and found some other girls a bit closer to it, but still not getting involved. i started getting flirtatious with one of the girls, a cute tiny little girl who I had a “mini crush” on many years ago, but who never became a full-blown numbered girl, but possibly could have if I had hung out with her more. but just as she started warming up to me she moved to career/grad school/law skool/some BS.

She was slow to get up and go to the orgy with me but I eventually convinced her. she was getting up and then she disappeared. DAMN.

The other big problem was that this was happening in my house, and people were leaving pools of j1zz and crotch juice and butt juice and sexjuice and sperm and smegma and stank and sweat ALL OVER the place, and it was impossible to find any privacy, or anyplace clean. this was making me seriously reconsider the idea of an Orgy as a Good Idea. It really kinda sucked, especially since I wasn’t getting any Hot Action out of the deal. It was disgusting, there was j1zz and crotch juice congealing everywhere and the girls weren’t washing the old j1zz out of their orifices; all the attractive girls had a huge waitlist; the only people interested in me were gay men; it was a filthy decadent mess which totally backfired on me. i would be much happier with one cute girl in a nonorgy setting.

so poker is a great metaphor for life, or maybe that is how i choose to view life since i am a Problem Gambler. but hear me out. poker (no limit holdem) is like life because: there is only ONE winner. and that sucks. I would rather win smaller pots and have them be more consistent. tortoise rather than the hare. but no. the way you win is big pots once in a while, and then waiting and waiting and waiting for your moment to strike. and trying not to go ON TILT. The odds are against you from the beginning. you have to beat out 5 or 8 other people to get that pot, or else you get NOTHING.

and as time wears on you keep paying blinds.

now if you’re in a TOURNAMENT, heck the BLINDS alone can kill you because they keep going up and up and up. and even fewer people win, because the idea is to get everyone down to ZERO, then you only pay out the top 4 people or so.  I do not like tournaments.

so i would prefer to engineer a way to win smaller pots, but more regularly. i hate having to risk so much. lately i’ve been kinda lucky, winning those big pots, but before that i had a huge cold streak and was killed over and over again even with Great Pocket Cards…..but did i lose because i didn’t play aggressively enough, make large enough of a bet preflop? but to win big pots, you have to get ANOTHER person to bet aggressively, plus it’s not like you’re not seeing the river anyway, ie, have chances to bet/raise.  dunno, just dunno, and when i read articles they go right over my head. really cant wait for “poker for dummies” arriving soon!

heh. this is what happens when you kill your brain cells when your brain is still developing. then you wake up one day later in life and discover you have a Learning Disability. Stuff you would have easily learned in High School, makes no sense to you now. You Get Dumber. Damn.

but Dummies books can teach you, after you’ve become dumber.

or prime of youth qt’s sitting on your face every time you learn a fact correctly. positive reinforcement.

sun march 23

i happened upon some THORAZINE the other day. was watching episodes of “addicted” which is like “intervention”, we started talking about Rx Drug Abuse, I made a joke like, wouldn’t happen to have any Xanax Wouldja, host said lets take a look, and produced some Thorazine and Flexeral. Hmm, I said. I ended up taking 1 Thorazine, which I know is for Psychotic Schizophrenics In Institutions. Did not really DO much. Immediately after I got real Hyper and Excited and Euphoric and Talkative, prob because I get a Rush out of doing Illicit Drugs. And indeed I slept soundly, as promised, although I usu sleep pretty soundly.

and was kinda tired and lethargic the next day, much like taking nyquil. in fact, it was not all that diff from nyquil at all.

but it was fun just for that “placebo effect” and capped off a good grateful night of Socializing. I do NOT recommend taking a lot of thorazine every single day.



march 18

called the person i had to call, they were nice, i carried on the convo LIKE A BOSS, will go do my test TOMORROW, got get get a fresh cover letter done for then. nice. moving along nicely here.

heres a great tip. I went on youtube and searched mock interview and found the ones where the actually had a person answering the questions. I already KNOW the standard questions, I just can’t THINK like some HR retard and come up with the right answer, I really needed some help from a Normalfag, just show me the Correct NOrmalfag answers and I will memorize them, that’s all I want, I will copy the exact same thing the lady says about being a motivated self-starter who wants to be part of a winning team.

some of the other stuff was like oh make an effort to cover the trashy tattoos on your arms neck and face, and then tell us about yourself and why you’re a perfect fit. F00k you I don’t HAVE trash tattoos but I am certainly not a pefect fit for your stupid job, I just need a job to make money like EVERYONE needs a job to make money, tell me the right thing to say, and I’ll say it!!!!!!

but there is one vidya, an australian one where they interview a canadian woman for a Phone Sales job, that was actually VERY useful because it was like a recording of the ACTUAL interview, not idiot recruiters telling you How To Prepare. NO. I want to hear ACTUAL INTERVIEWS and use THOSE to prepare. and I strongly recommend you do the same.  Just copy from others. yes you can change a few words. but you won’t need to change many!

and then memorize it, rote memory, just like memorizing a prayer or whatever.

If you can actually think using that kind of reasoning, more power to you, normalfag. I am the best candidate for this job because I add value by providing maximum return on investment for the company while minimizing costs and working together as part of a winning team, and getting out in front of problems, to create lasting relationships with very satisfied clients, and adding value to this satisfaction.  in addition to facilitating an excellent client experience, I also share the values of this organization’s vision and mission. see how easy that is?????

If you are a loser slob like us, you probably just wear a loser hoodie and call that a coat or jacket. welp, you’ve also got to get TWO additional jackets on top of that hoodie: one, a heavy duty winter jacket WITH HOOD that can keep you warm on long powerwalks in the winter; two, a classy, Business Professional Peacoat or Dress Coat that you can wear to WORK or Job Interviews, so when you come in wearing your coat you don’t look like a Prole Loser Slob, hahahaha.

When you talk to Proles, talk like a Prole; when you talk to Posh Bourge Middle Class F4gg0ts, talk like one of those.

Be multilingual. Blend in, gain trust, curry favor. Proles say things like Aint and Mornin and Runnin and Goin and f00kin dont got no and yeah and awesome and curse like sailors and aren’t afraid to use sweet words like b1tch or g4y or f4gg0t or sperm burpin gutter slut. Middle Class F4gg0ts use words like certainly and yes and change agent and circle the wagons and meeting and growth driver and theoretically and for instance and hegemonic and ideology and lean in and safe space and interfacing and development and metrics.

If you have a Problem with One Drug, you will probably have a problem with ALL Drugs, unfortunately. I have decided never to drink alcohol again, yet I still think, OH YEAH, I can still smoke WEED then. NOPE. Because there was a time when I smoked too much WEED too, and tbh, weed has hurt me every bit as much as alcohol. in different ways of course. weed kept me from taking golden opportunities that were available at the time, and not work hard enough; alcohol was prob worse for my mental, physical and social health.

so now i could rationalize Weed because those opportunities I had when I was young I simply don’t have any more, so I don’t have anything to LOSE by smoking weed, in other words. like that rationalization?

Well, it is hard to argue with! It IS true!

other than smoking weed now would prevent me from getting a New Job, if I were to take action and hit the bricks and FIND that job, and INTERVIEW for it, and GET the job. And I guess it’s the same damn thing in Colorado where Weed is “Legal.” the employers are still all b1tches like that.

so where the hell do all these god damn pot smokers WORK????? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!

So where do they get the money to buy the drugs? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!!!!

what grinds my gears about this catholic religion perhaps most of all is the “dying with dignity” and how its a mortal sin to euthanize a terminally ill person. so if you want to avoid an eternity of torture event horizon style, you have to make your poor family go broke in this life to keep your dying ass alive as long as possible, paying off slimebag dockers and nurses and hospitals and healthcare admins, spending 9000 dollars a day to keep you alive one more day when you’re senile and pooping your pants and doped up anyway.

well only RICH people can afford to do that, so the catholic god is biased towards the filthy rich pigs in other words, right?

the workaround is that you euthanize your dying relative, then beg forgiveness from god, then when you’re dying, hope your family euthanizes you.  heck PRESSURE them to euthanize you, tell them to do the same thing you did. euthanize, then repent, then repeat!


march 17

eh i will allow myself to get 2 months ahead.

so some people have a real EASY time Getting A Job…….and then there’s the REST of us, who have a Really Tuff Time, that we just Damn Give UP. Heh. that is where I am At now. I have Just Given Up on EVERYTHING. Everything productive that is. And thus cannot become a proper full grown man. don’t want to do the work necessary to be a proper grown man. just want to sit around and do nothing. wait for the hand of GOD.

heh time to distract self by starting the poker hehehe.

so, it is good to have an Hourly Win Rate. Right now I wouldn’t mind an Hourly Win Rate of 1 dollar hehehehe. not counting the blinds of course. so there you lose 15 cents every 9 minutes at a 9-max table….ok how about 6 times per hours, thus 90 cents an hour lost on blinds.

Asking For Help Is Hard. For example, I know A Guy who is leaving his old job for a new job. I could just ask him to Help Me regarding getting in at his old company, or getting his old job, because it is a far cry better than my current job. well, seems to be. he still goes out and has fun and is not stressed out to death and makes way more money. so, less stressful AND more money, yes, I’d say it’s better then!

I could say, hey you think you could HELP ME in getting in there? and the WORST he could say is Um NO, They’re already pissed about me leaving, so I can’t possibly recommend anyone; or they have no plans to replace me; etc, and that would be fine. Never Hurts To ASK. yet I am reluctant to EVEN ASK. Why? Because I don’t have a Passion for that field? F00k Passion, I have passion for nothing employable anyway! And he got the job Really Easily And Really Quickly after Graduating from College! Just said, WELP, just graduated college, better start sending out resumes, and BOOM within a few weeks got this job.

Now he has a much better attitude than me, harder worker, not as f00ked up and lazy, more ambitious, more energy, etc. I intentionally avoid talking to him, or anyone but muh shrink, about muh loserness! because it’s not a good topic, and it makes you sound like a b1tch, so thats why I have this blog, hahahahahahahahahaha.

but wouldn’t I be a bit butthurt if he said, Nope, I wouldn’t Feel Right doing That For You, because you don’t have a BUSINESS Degree, and then I’d have to say, but business degrees are just as bullsh1t as my current degree, you’re full of sh1t, 4sshole, what a lame excuse, go f00k yourself, like you learned anything in college that you couldn’t learn Autodidactically, ya arrogant prick. heh. but do I really think odds are I would have to say that?

i looked up trade school in google and found this money cnn march 2012 article and read the comments for a while.

sh1t i would LUV to make 40k a year! Then I would officially not be a loser! (38k is the Loser Cutoff. Or maybe 36.)

God damn, I really wish I could go back to my 18 year old self and Strongly Advise Him. That’s what this whole blog is about. because I WAS a moron. so what can I do now? Not make those same moronic mistakes. Well, the good news is i’m not, but the bad news is, I’m doing NOTHING AT ALL, have given up on EVERYTHING.  except poker and blogging hahahaha and eating like a fat pig, and powerwalking, and music and movies and internet.

ok got an email back from The Person. They gave me simple, straightforward instructions of who to call and what to do. I now have The Next Step of Muh Mission!!!!!!

CNC. Computerized Numerical Control. don’t forget about Trade Skool for CNC. basically “skilled manufacturing.” and I drive by Shops that post CNC openings right on their sign by the side of the road! If electrician sucks, try CNC. or Welding.

it is better than sucking f4g c0x i mean going to online college and paying 900000000000000000000$ to get a masters of business marketing informatics degree. and it’s not like you JUST pay the money and buy the degree, you pay the money and read stupid books and articles and write papers for hours and hours and hours and hours when you could be sleeping or working or banging 20 year olds or playing vidya or watching movies or working and making money. Losing money when you could be making money.

maybe try watching tv wrestling just to see the extremely tough guy way the wrestlers TALK to each other before having the ridiculous match. I enjoy the talking more than the “wrestling.” it is very tough guy alpha male definition masculine stuff that, if you imitate and emulate it, will help you become more Winning At Life.

Get Money, Pvssy, and Power.

I REALLY like my idea of find a role model 5 years older than you. it is important that they are a winner and not a loser. like if you are 16 years old and hanging out with a 21 year old loser but you think he’s cool because he buys you booze. NO. HELL NO. Find a 21 year old who is graduating from college and starting a Great STEM Job and befriend HIM. and you can bang the college gurls who hang out with him. win win.

at worst, go for the trashy tattooed tough guy and you might be able to get his sloppy seconds with slutty trash. just don’t get herpes or them preggers.

but seriously, go for a winner not a loser, you’ll be glad you did.


march 17

gonna take a break from gambling and try to do something productive today. was thinking about muh job. i will be chiller when i go back, be much more confident and chill. but fact is, job still takes up too much time. i go in, come home, go right to bed, get up, go back to work, etc. no time to job search on internet, let alone gamble or blog or read!

then i thought, what if they want to SCREW me and NOT invite me back? I’m just assuming they will call me back and this is like Summer Vacation. but what if i never get the call.

I spent too much time on facebook looking at people i went to College with, that was dumb. See, this was an Elite College where the grads actually had Access to Elite Jobs and Elite Grad Skools, that are simply not available to grads of “Lesser” less elite colleges, who go on to work straight normalfag jobs. I would have been perfectly happy with that!

to put it in crudest terms, my entire “adult” life I have been Torn Between Two Worlds: Working Class and Middle Class.

At this point I much more Identify with Working Class than Middle Class. Middle Class are a bunch of posh f4gg0ts who get easy jobs and attractive wives and talk about how progressive they are.

Working Class have to WORK for a living and have to LOOK for jobs and often get laid off and many are forced to get Bullsh1t Masterz Degrees just to get gainful upper working class stable employment, and they have fat hambeast wives you’d never want to marry.

well, if they get the bs masters degree, that makes them more middle class, better job, so then they might have a more attractive wife. but she will prob be more annoying and more progressive. lexus liberals.

anyway. facebook Enables me to live in the Past too much, to look at the careers and lives of people I haven’t seen in years and who frankly have not given me any major Help.

As a grown man, I have to look at the reality and ask, Who has really HELPED ME?

Well, mainly my fam of course. And I am trying to pay them back. And the people who helped me get my new job.

Want to HELP me? “Just” get me an easy FT job, hehehe. got to be easy and stressless.

was thinking about moving to colorado and opening up a Weed Dispensary. watched this great show on cnbc, “marijuana in america: the colorado pot rush” or something. when I was a weed-smoking outlaw many years ago, I would have never imagined anything like this happening.

Heh. I wish you could invest in businesses for like 1 dollar and get a return if you pick right, like me putting a one dollar stake in a poker pro or a “horse”, hehehe.

today: i REALLY gotta call that job related person. just keep it simple. say I would like to take the test. that’s it. if they don’t know what I’m talking about, I start dropping names. when i go in there in person I start talking about applicant pools. I just hate the phone I think, even more than actual people.

had an interesting dream where I was courting a young woman with a meaty backside. she could not have been older than 23. then she came and sat on muh lap with her meaty haunches over muh D. It was very exciting. then I overheard her telling her friend how excited she was at the idea of having S with me. “i can’t wait for him to tear muh clothes off” etc. I would be very happy to do so, we were just in a public auditorium and needed to get somewhere private.

of course the dream ended before anything more happened. but those young dream buttocks were nice. trying to think if she represented anyone in real life. I don’t think so.

well, i called the person i wanted to call, and went straight to voice mail. g0d damn i said, should I leave a message. I left a message earlier and they did not call back. i worried this was because i was too spag pockets and talked like a nervous retard.  today i said, ok f00k this, if i can’t talk to them, i will email them. so i emailed them directly, got an autoresponse saying they were out of the office until tomorrow. oh well. hopefully they respond to my email or i will have to call them again.

that’s the thing, i could do 20 ridiculous calls a day, but MAKING the calls is darn near impossible. but I can DO the calls if FORCED to, ie, it’s my JOB to pick up the ringing phone, or else I get fired.

my dream job is simply not having to talk on phones, hahahaha. nothing positive like i want to save the world or be a business analyst or bla bla bla.

I looked at pictures of Girl 5 on facebook. Some of The Numbered Girls I WILL look at, others I staunchly refuse to. Girls 7, 2, and 3: never again. Girl 6 I will look at and curse for being a filthy wh0re who I’m too good for and who still owes me her 4ss. Girl 5: look at her and say yeah she was a good choice, I’d still date her even though she’s 30 and doesn’t look as good. Girl 4: would still date I guess, but now I mock her for her ridiculous interests and career. although it’s a pretty successful high-prestige career! Girl 1: not even sure if she should really count as a girl anymore, she’s married and I don’t care! Well girls 1 AND 2 are married.

So I think the reason I refuse to EVER look up Girls 2, 3, and 7 is because I was the “closest” to them? Because I actually pursued those through to the Living End and got Blatantly, Definitely, Unambiguously REJECTED by them, and I am still butthurt by that.

very interesting amirite?


march 16

will studying higher hard maths and sciences help you in the job mkt IF you need a DEGREE to get Good STEM Jobs, BUT you don’t finish the degree because you wanted to take a break after the hard maths classes?

probably not. finish that stem degree. otherwise go to trade school.

but studying math for fun will definitely make it easier to pass calc 5 when you have to actually take it. yes i know there’s no calc. normally it goes, calc 1, calc 2, calc 3 (multivariable), then DiffEQz, seem to be the usual core maths, and then it would be a REAL GOOD IDEA TO take Discrete Math, Linear Algebra, and Heck Statistics 1 and Stats 2. but that’s still 8 classes.

Last College Class I took was Calc 2, and I was proud to get an A because it was SO HARD, sucked SO BAD (not as bad as muh job!), the book sucked, the tests sucked, if it weren’t for Khan Academy, damn.  anyway point is, it didn’t HAVE to be that way. I have several Common Sense Suggestions that would have made the class a lot better:

Break it up into two courses, there was way too much stuff squeezed in there, and then teach this stuff in 9th or 10th grade math.

let you bring in a sheet of notes/formulas/cheat sheet to the exams.

better yet, have no exams, just have a bunch of small homeworks and have that be the grade, maybe a few small quizzes that are not weighted too heavily, or for extra credit.

call each student up to the board to do a problem. not in an on the spot sort of way, they can ask questions the the instructor and other students. if the student is really spaghetti pockets and doesn’t want to go up, they don’t have to.

don’t be a Dick Instructor. Realize a Nice, Friendly, Competent Part Time $9 An Hour TUTOR can teach 9000x times better than you can, and they should thus take your job.

Go to the Nice Tutor after every class and do homework problems with them.

It’s ok to listen to your favorite music while doing problems.

Study Hardest Maths in your free time and only take the class after you have already looked at all the stuff the class covers and done problems for each chapter. (tryhard)

and my teacher was a real nice guy, NOT a dick, but not the greatest teacher, but I don’t want to complain about him because he was really, really nice. just hard as sh1t. but not because he wasn’t nice! it could have been a LOT worse, he could have been a big d1ck, but still the class was so ridic I had to take a break.

so i would recommend buying $5 older versions of textbooks for those classes and try to learn them by doing the problems while watching khan academy.

If you are uncertain or unsure about College after high school, just DON’T GO. If your family forces you to go, then go to Community College. But really you’d still be better off going to trade school or just working sh1tty jobs for 2 years to give you some motivation while you are still young, and to give you people skills when you are young and energetic and surrounded by 18 year old girls and can use your people skills, and the young girls are partying and haven’t gotten preggers yet. and don’t GET them preggers.

befriend a man who is five years older than you and Successfull, a Winner. Make Him your role model. really kiss his A and get in his good graces and do as he has done. this might be hard to do, if you live in a Poor Community where all the men 5 years older than you are dead or in jail. in that case go to trade skool and befriend a guy there or at your trade apprenticeship who is 5 years older than you. you are looking for a “Big Brother” type who is older than you, but still in the same generation as you, and has Won in the same set of circumstances and Work Environment and Job Market.

People WILL realize what a huge SCAM College is, it will just take about 10 more years, for anti-college views such as mine to Become Mainstream, for people to Wake Up. And so for the next 10 years I will be sounding that horn, pounding that drum.

Might as well, I said I might have like 5 more years to pay my karmic debt, but today i calculated I have WAY MORE than 5 years more years to go. from now. because I am working a job and at a station of life that could be done by an 18 year old. but I am much older than that. x years older than 18, which means I have wasted x years of my life, and thus must serve a sentence of x years to repent for that, it’s only fair.

wasted time looking at facebook again. the working class people have horrible jobs and fat wives and kids, the middle class people have great careers and attractive spouses and maybe one kid, hehehe.

anyway that was a waste of time, i should have just been losing money at the poker table.

monday march 17 st pattys day

all the successful mid twenties kidz are taking the day off from their not-too-stressful jobs to get drunk all day and bang their single co-working females who still have a few good partying years left before they start approaching 30 and then thus need to get married and have a kid. believe it. this is simple wimmin waking up to the reality, seeing the light. oh sh1t they say, by the age of 28. i’d BETTER at LEAST be MARRIED by age 30, and have a damn KID by 31 at the absolute latest.

unless you’re a trashy party girl who couldn’t keep your legs closed and you had a bastard kid when you were REALLY partying it up between then ages of 18-22.

This is, of course, the ideal time to have a baby, but these girls certainly not are doing it under ideal conditions: when they have a Strong, Masculine Husband and Father around to be Good Strong Masculine Role Models to help bring up the child. more than likely they will dump the babby off on THEIR own single momz, and continue partying till age 28. Good Job.


or, if you prefer, PVSSIES DONT GET PVSSY!!!

march 14 2014

so i have always said that LOSER is about the worst thing you can call a man. worse than n199er or f4990t or pvssy or sissy or weakling or b1tch or what have you.  because it is calling you a failure as a person. a loser at life, who can’t even do the care minimum, who can’t work or f00k, who is a useless waste of life, a parasite leech, a taker and never a giver, subhuman scum of no value or worth, etc.

so who the hell IDENTIFIES with being a LOSER? WHo says, YEP, THAT’S ME! People with real low self esteem? Or people who accurately see themselves for what they are?

Anyway it is hard to find stuff on the internet for LOSERS, usually it’s just loser shaming, or winner scammer self help types. but nothing for losers by losers, to overcome this adversity. and that is the value i add, the niche i fill, hahaha. I stand up for losers to help them overcome their loserness!

well, ideally.

it’s EASY for WINNERS to say do this and do that. goddam winner normalfag successfuls. nonvirgins. job-having, sex-having smug normalfags, winners, and successfuls, hahahahahaha.

some people work hard until they win. other people work hard for a little bit, and it wears them down and they give up and never want to work hard again. know that feel? i bet you do!!!

i listened to some dead can dance, and then some massive attack. both very chill, fun, anxiety-destroying music.

gonna to play my first tournament here, a “freeroll” that apparently has no buyin. i expect i will get destroyed early.

well i got place 22 out of like 155.  not bad uh? don’t think i get any reward. i did not pay anything at all during any time. it was like play money.

now my new thing will be to buy a “STAKE” in professionals in big tournaments.

i screwed up the betting system, you’re supposed to send to a betting “bot” and not send directly to the player, but i sent directly to the player. heh.

it is a naturally masculine thing to develop obsessive, aspergers like interest in various topics: sports, science, technology, computers, languages, medicine, physics, music, history, politics, finance, blogging, gambling, math, inventing, business, problem solving, how to pull 18 yos, etc.

so i say go ahead and indulge those interests even if they are financially unproductive, as long as they keep away even LESS productive thoughts of you are such a loser with no future and no purpose in life. think about anything else. as long as you are not Murdering your mind with drugs or alcohol.

Heh. the unfair thing is that for SOME Winners, drugs and alcohol, used moderately, can actually ADD a benefit to their lives by giving them creativity, productivity, new perspective, etc. but once you get to be a loser, drugs and alc can only harm you, and you have to go straight edge and be all butthurt and envious at all the people who CAN use them without harm. The Karmic Price You Pay for Being A Loser who made too many Big Mistakes.

but yeah when you lose interest in the things that men naturally get interested in, and can only think about what a loser you are, and can’t concentrate on things and LEARN things and Get Smarter, that’s bad. go take a powerwalk while listening to some Massive Attack, and go hang out with NICE people, and treat yourself by buying a nice dress shirt at kohls, hahaha.

LATER…. went to the store and got a bunch of junk food to celebrate saturday nite, hahahaha. haribo gummi bears, ice cream, some cookies, heh. munching the gummi bears right now, worlds best candy, i could easily eat the whole huge bag. whoo boy. better put those down and drink some code red. it is amazing i am not morbidly obese, well i did take 2 powerwalks today.

i would like to make a ridiculous mixture of Weed Butter and Code Red. use a blender to make a slushie/smoothie out of it.

A LOT of girls really LUV Rough Sex, so it is PERFECTLY OK for you to like the idea of Giving To Em Real Rough. Doesn’t mean you want to go out and RAEP Wimmin! You just like being rather rough and masculine and dominating in the Bedroom sometimes! Nothing wrong with that! Is a LOT better than being a huge Sissy Man in the Bedroom! Keep being a big Sissy and you won’t even be getting INTO the Bedroom for a long time!

went all in with straight, either hit the straight on the flop or turn at latest; went all in at behest of the other guy; he had a flush; I was shamefully defeated and lost like 8 dollars. lesson learned: never go all in when you are CALLING the other guy.  PRETTY sure he went all in after I hit my straight; that I hit the straight on the flop, and he hit his flush on the turn or river.  Lesson: I should have went all in first, IMMEDIATELY upon making straight; OR folded. I simply did my usual raise of half the pot.

toying with the idea of busting out the ole monkey ball vidya game. recall it being tons of fun.

sunday morning. played the monkeyball. it was ok for about 90 minutes then got annoying. played moar cards and watched youtube vidyas of aaron clarey ranting against masters degree. feelsgoodman.wav.  He is really uplifting. gives compelling argument of not to get a stupid masters degree (business), and even not to get seemingly useful degrees like econ or finance, explaining hierarchy of Banks.

great guy. i love that sort of stuff, want to find more in that vein, of advice to young men, because young men’s parents and teachers and high school guidance counselors might MEAN well, but they just don’t KNOW what fresh hell is going on out there, and are protected from Red Pill Reality by being grandfathered in to their Cushy Stable Retirement Jobz that do not Exist any more for our current young men.

would like to see clarey talk more about Trades and Internships and More Detail on More Majors. For example, Physical Therapy vs Electrical Engineering vs Chemical Engineering vs Math vs Nursing. really drill down into all so called Good Majors.

And also Job Searching and Interviewing skills.

maybe get some guests on who know this stuff and interview them.



march 14 2014

went for a nice powerwalk, will be the warmest time all week, alot of the snow is metling, good.

switching to a 9 person table here,  seeing if it’s more chill, and i will definitely have to pay fewer blinds!

all of skool should be simply preparing for job interviews. all day long, having a Mock Interview, having to respond to those questions the right way, project the right image. I would be Peppering Mah Kidz all day with Mock Interview Questions from Grade 1. well, along with Hard Math, Sciences, Engineering, and Trades.

And also have them work Sh1tty Custo Svc Jobs like Fast Food or Restaurant as EARLY in life as possible. Now when they come home at night crying about how horrible it was, of COURSE I would Comfort my own CHILDREN! I’d say, this won’t last forever, your life will get way better, this is why you’re studying engineering and math and trades now, so you don’t end up in a job like that as an adult, and can have a nice chill job and a well-paid one to boot, and can make a nice living for yourself and YOUR children.

if they were really stressed out after like 6 months, I might relent. or doing degenerate things with the losers who work there, drugs and such. NOPE, NOT ON MY WATCH!

So I would be very strict but also very loving. And homeSchool them, but put them out in the Real World of WORK as soon as possible, dealing with people on the job, managers and customers. then they would come to homeschool to learn the REAL SKILLS that would save them from a lifetime of those kinds of jobs.

Now I worked a job since I was 16 or so, I got a job at a decent age, however it was an easy stressless boring job, god I wish I could have a job like that now, and I didn’t learn a DAMN thing about difficult stressful situaitons, or People skills.

Of COURSE I would let the kidz go out with Girls. Well, I wouldn’t let my daughters date Boyz. I would honestly prefer Sons to Daughters just because Daughters are HARDER, because it’s so EASY for them to become debauched wh0res and sl00ts. They need very strong fathers. I would maybe marry off my daughter at age 18 to a successful, virtuous, alpha male, but you’d be damn sure i would Vet the sh1t out of him.

Keeping the daughters out of Mainstream Public School would only help.

What if they wanted a Careeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer or College? Here it would be similar for the boys: go to trade school. go to community college. don’t get into debt. or become a NURSE. Nursing might be the best Career Choice for a Woman, as long as they get the BSN. Bad news is a lot of Nurses are Psychotic and terrible influences: drug addicts, wh0res, cheaters, satanic, pure evil, soulless monsters, social climbing to snag the richest doctor.

So, trades or Engineering would be just as good for Women too.

However, I would still say, ya know you can always go to college or school, but your body won’t always be so good at producing Healthy Babies! Have the kids young and you might find you enjoy being a Mother! IMagine that!

Meanwhile the Successful Husband would make enough money to support them. They could all live at My House if they wanted to save money. Yes the Extended Family Home is something I definitely Support. No McMansions or Mortgages for me or MY kin!!

What if my kid really wanted to Try Weed or Alcohol?

Good question. I guess I might let them try alcohol on very isolated occasions. Maybe their 18th birthday, let them get drunk and see what the big fuss is about. hopefully they can overdo it that once, and then never want to drink again.

OK, so how about they are allowed to get Drunk OR Stoned on Weed ONCE every THREE Months. Asbolutely no more.  When I was 18, I LOVED abusing Weed or Alcohol every chance I could get. BIG mistake. I turned into a regular WEed and Alcohol Fiend and that was a BIG part of how I RUINED ages 18 thru 26, AND beyond, because muh brain was still trying to develop under all that POISON. I wished I had never touched ANY of that POISON until after age 25.

But teens LOVE to do self destructive things.

Maybe I WOULD just be super strict and force them never to drink until age 25. Haven’t figured out the plan yet.

Or I’d make them go to AA meetings to show them what pathetic losers alcoholics are.

I would be trying to SCARE THEM STRAIGHT by confronting them with Total Losers as much as possible, so they can learn from a young age NOT to do the things that make you a loser.

But I would always be there to comfort and love them whenever they get stressed out or afraid or disturbed by the harrowing stuff I make them experience.  I mean I would go along with them to visit the alcoholics and bums and losers whenever possible.

Not an easy job being a parent, hehehe. I guess I would let them make mistakes, but I would also want to protect them from making the types of mistakes you can’t bounce back from: namely, wasting your youth and your potential, the same mistakes I made, which is why I’m a loser now.

No, having kids young is not necessarily a mistake. Though I wouldn’t want my sons to become fathers at too young of an age. but probably by age 25 they can be making decent money at their trade, and it would be perfectly alright then to marry an 18 year old girl, and start having children!

How do you like My Fanatasy World? Pretty sweet eh? HELL YEAH IT IS!!!