heh. so that’s my new yardstick. the vaunted fabled mythical “$12 an hour fulltime job.”

sat feb 15, 6.47 pm

went to church. it was kinda boring but they are good people, and the priest is good, i like our priest, and the guest priest we get sometimes is good too. not like the 80 year old priests that don’t know how to give a sermon. these guys are like 50 or 60 and know how to give a good sermon, how to talk to people. priests need to know how to do this. this week i thought about quitting muh job and becoming a priest. i’d thought about it before, and as time goes on, it gets to be better and better of an idea. become a roman catholic priest. f00k yeah.

i was thinking about treating myself to chinese dinner comfort food, then i decided i wanted WHITE CASTLE more.  cheeseburger sliders with onion chips that i actually put in the burger. dipped in a mix of open pit bbq sauce and a bit of franks red hot. good lord it was good. but they raised their prices SIGNIFICANTLY since last time I ate there. it was like 87 cents for 1 cheese slider. just a few years ago it was like 60 cents tops.  but it was real good. i got a ton of them so i can snack on them later today as I play cards and drink code red hehehe.

then went for powerwalk. nice. cold but not as cold as it has gotten. and no snow.

hmm. you could EASILY lose 10 dollars a week playing at the lowest micro stakes holdem tables like i have been. can’t even imagine moving up. when i wasn’t playing for money, I was 20 grand ahead. Now I am like 20 real dollars DOWN. either these players are better or i’m playing a lot worse or getting real unlucky. prob all. i do not play every day. course then I might lose even more!

so do i drink nyquil tonight, sat night? maybe. or i just stay up till 3 gambling again. it was the idea of gambling that got me out of bed today hehehehehehe. pretty shameful. only total losers and creeps actually get a thrill from gambling. eh well, women can’t do it for me any more. gimme benzos and gambling. note: i do not actually have a supply of benzos. i took 1 benzo like 2 months ago and have been idealizing it ever since.

i did have a dream with girl7 a few days ago, that sucks.  i suppose my punishment is that i will have dreams about her for….3 more years. great. punishment for the mistake of falling in True Luv w her and taking too long to act on it. For being a big Feminized Fedora F4gg0t Beta Wimpy Unmasculine Niceguy Beta Orbiter Supplicator., and her being a damn asexual lesbian didn’t help. well, it’s better than being a cvm chugging wh0re, it goes without saying. but now i’m too old to care that so many women are cvm chugging wh0res. let them be wh0res who chvg cvm, it don’t front me, they’re only hurting and shaming themselves, meanwhile, i’m making monay and pwning shizz. innit for the long haul, investing in things that don’t go bad in 10 years, hahahahahahaha. shqt you might as well get an IRA.

PREFLOP raises might be the way to encourage morons to bet serious money so you can win serious pots on seriously premium hands. (top 3: AA, KK, QQ.)

the best is when your computer craps out on you when you finally get a sweet hand like KK and freezes for 15 seconds forcing your to fold your hand. hehehe first world problems.

well if GOD is not going to make me get laid off at work, maybe he can see it fit that I can bang the cute girl there 20 or more times.  heh. because GOD is gonna actively promote Sin, hehehehe.  No, sin is my own free choice. however I would in that case freely choose to sin, for the tradeoff of more Punishment by Being At Muh Job. But the Job itself shouldn’t need any balancing out, because it is Just Punishment for my sin of Wasting My Youth and Being Stupid. so I don’t deserve any leniency from this punsihment, because i’m doing this sentence for a damn good reason. a damn valid penance. hehehe don’t you love the christian pessimistic godawful worldview where everything is a sin and a punishment and you’re always guilty and suffering and paying the price.

YES. FINALLY GOT MY BIG WIN. got QQ, raised preflop, some idiot went all in with 4.44 or so, I called it, he had AQ unsuited, there was a Q somewhere in the flop or turn, beat his 455 with Tripz, came out with 12 something, had bought in with 10. finally got ahead of muh buy in. HOWEVER I am still behind overall, well behind overall. would have to get to like 30 now to Break Even LIfetime Career here. The Dangers Of Gambling. Sh1t, I made more money at my old job than I do GAMBLING. I LOSE money gambling. I should start keeping records. as of 2/25, I have put in $28 lifetime into this.  about $7.75 left.  I am about $21 down lifetime. as of today. not to mention bitcoin has lost a decent amount of value since i started gambling hehehehe.

but now that i won a big pot finally, i should walk away and watch a movie for the first time in 2 weeks.

aaaannnnd i bought 1 silver round off of ebay. can find ok prices there if you are not too picky on styles. i figured if i get laid off then the bad thing about that is, no income, and cannot buy these sweet luxuries like silver and bitcoins that i am only buying now because i have some serious income.

it is kinda serious income by Today’s Standards, where it’s impossible to find a 12$ an hour Fulltime Job, but NOT serious money by our Parents and Grandparents Generation, when 18 year old kids or high school dropouts could make better money in 1960 dollars or 1990 dollars.

well, it’s not good to compare yourself to previous generations, and they can s your d anyway.