might be a misleading title. or depending how the future plays out, maybe not.

thurs 1 23, 9.45 pm

a rare weeknite post. thurs night. mon tues wed i would get out of ARBEIT MACHT FREI and IMMEDIATELY go to bed, took ALL my strength just to get thru the day. did NOT watch tv, did NOT unwind, well I had a small snack thank GOD, and it’s GOOD not to watch TV Filth, but I was also worried because they are STILL laying people off, and I kind of WANT to be laid off, because then I won’t have to go to that godawful job, and I’ll get paid unemployment, and can look for a better job, and be able to prove i was legitly laid off for business needs. rather than Quitting for being an Emotional, Unemployable Loser.

i honestly don’t know muh chances. by now the MAJORITY of the group of people hired at the same time as me are GONE. LAID OFF. maybe about 65% of them. But i’m sticking around because I have Good Attendance, and Good Performance.

Yesterday was Super Stressful, a MIRACLE that I got thru, but today was actually not so bad, maybe the best day I have had so far. 23 phone calls, about 17 minutes average call, and 6:20 total phone time.  I handled myself pretty well, had several very pleased callers. The trick really is to just Chill Out and not Worry, and get into that mindset even when you get something you’ve never HEARD of before, and then keep calm and Reach Out to the resources available to you without panicking or overthinking.  and then bringing that sense of calm confidence to the caller. this is of course MUCH easier said than done and has taken me a LONG time to even BEGIN to do so. other people have gotten LAID OFF because they did not do this FAST enough. It’s a miracle I have done it fast enough. this is the type of thing with a steep learning curve and PEOPLE NEED TIME to get good at it, and they’re UNJUSTLY laying people off before even letting them have that time! very nice people that I liked! the worst is when you realize “Oh sh1t I haven’t seen that person in a few days,” and then you never see them again because they’ve been LAID OFF. well I hope they are getting decent unemployment!!!

and tom is fri and i have a fun social event semi planned for this weekend, nice dinner and gaming with old frand. thank GOD.

AND I came home tonight feeling ok for once, and found muh new silver round waiting for me, which I got for a decent price. lesson: amagi metals is a much better price than apmex. although a smaller selection.

AND I finally got muh bitcoin delivered. I guess the REAL smart thing to do would be to Buy Bitcoin Low, wait for it to SKYROCKET, and then buy Silver with it. hehehe. would that even work? Or would silver skyrocket right alongside Bitcoin, and then silver would be like 800 dollars an ounce? hehehe.

So I look at muh 6 pieces of silver and can’t help but think of the old story of Judas betraying CHRIST for thirty pieces of silver. if we assume those were 1 tr oz pieces, and silver at ABOUT $20 an ounce, then that’s about 600$ to sell our LORD down the river.

and I play with muh nice little STACK and thank GOD for the PRIVILEGE of being able to enjoy this silver.

but yeah. kinda gonna slow down on the mad spending i think. first world privilege. thank GOD. THIS is why I thank GOD all the time. I could be getting LITERALLY raeped up the A every day.

i talked for 2 seconds but pretty normally with the QT Gurl  today as well. might be muh new #1 from that place. NICE. simple small talk whilst smoking a cig outside. I only try to smoke no more than 2 cigs thru the day, and 1 before the beginning. so 3. given the stress level of the job, one SHOULD be smoking like a whole pack for one 8 hour shift, hehehe. a cig after every call.

heh heh if you don’t wake up every morning DREADING going into your DREADFUL job, then YOU DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB. REAL MEN Dread Going To Their Job Every Day. Want to PUKE and Poop Blood.

Or I guess real men wouldn’t get so SCARED, they wouldn’t let it GET to them, but they’d also perform their job well enough not to get LAID OFF or god forbid FIRED.

so the job does get bearable i suppose. and that is all i can ask. It certainly hasn’t become permanently bearable, just starting to show signs that it could be. maybe. but it might get REAL bad in feb. really wouldn’t put anything past it. I don’t TRUST the job at ALL. but my COWORKERS are decent good people thank GOD. it’s just a f00ked up JOB.  heh but this is the best a person with a WORTHLESS DEGREE can do in 2014! a young smart man near me also has a Worthless Degree. But he is early twenties, still young. great guy though, he’s helped me a lot, very smart, hope he can find a better job before he gets Old, hehehe.

lord, just bought like 11 more dollars of bitcoin because the price is going down. then I realized it would be smartest to WAIT for it to HIT bottom, THEN buy, because now I’m losing money as we speak.

Heh. I do not trust bitcoin more than I trust SILVER or GOLD. But I wouldn’t mind making a Profit off bitcoin, and if I had bought before the Big Boom in OCtober 2013 or so, I WOULD have. would like to get on some of that. wait for it to crash again, then buy, then boom again, then get rich quick, hehehe.

but don’t spend too much because the FEDGOV could snatch this stuff willy nilly. so I immediately move btc from my coinbase wallet into a blockchain wallet, then download the dam wallet. not sure if that would keep FEDGOV from snatching it, hehehe.