sat jan 18, 1159a

ok 30 mins till muh laundry done.

everybody is a LITTLE bit different, and everybody needs to Discover Themselves to find out what works for them. Like I prefer silver rounds to silver bars, for example, but you might not. (i had to learn that thru trial and error. not like the bars are WORTH any less! or that they’re GODAWFUL! Just think I have a slight pref for Rounds at this time!) or i have a very specific, sometimes dfrustrating way of “deciding” what music to listen to. we all have our differences as well as our similarities.

But by exploring our differences we can also find our similarities, and I can offer suggestions that might steer you in the right way, and help you find what works for you. a big part of being a lazy loser depresso Emo McGee, is that you don’t even care or try to find what works for you, too much effort and energy and thought, you just sit there and don’t care and do nothing, not even interested in Your Self.

well I am happy to say this doesn’t take a ton of energy or effort, and at this point it just comes naturally, and I am thankful for that.

my next project will be updating linkedin, updating res, and doing a SERIOUS job search to find a chiller job. damn. I WILL take a BIG pay cut. Very willing to do that.

541 pm sat. ok. went shopping, errands, powerwalk, huge dinner, back. starting to get dark. twilight. could go to sleep right now hehe. got to finish clothes in dryer, then fold them, put away; IDEALLY would like to do more WORK of making muh 20 cigarettes. and watch a movie. Or Socialize. bought some Starburst “TROPICAL” flavors at the store, these are pretty good. not sure if they are the same tropical flavors of yesteryear, but still not bad. like better than jolly rancher softs. think we have a winner here.

got a haircut as well. put muh clothes away. thinking i should start this movie soon. bought 1 troy oz silver round from amagi metals for 24.99. at apmex I paid like 26.08 per. this includes all premiums: shipping, fees, etc. apmex has great selection and prob service but I do want to shave some money off their high premiums. So well done amagi, now don’t get my SILVER stolen in the mail.

after I got muh haircut I stopped by a local “gold and silver” shop, and was very unimpressed when I walked in. well, there were a ton of dvds there. and tools. lot of tools. there was a family in there trying to pawn a set of tools. then I saw some young men bringing in a flat screen TV. never really been to a “pawn shop” surprisingly. they had SOME coins in a case. I stared at them for a while, then finally asked the guy if they had 1 oz silver rounds. “NOT A ONE,” he said slightly rudely. “OK”, I said, and left.

I mean, in an ideal world, I would like to Support A Local Business AND get a silver round with a Low Premium.

But this was just one small place, there are plenty of pawn shops around.

lawd, naptime is callin muh name, hehehe.

it occurred to me that i’m not so cool, i’m not so smart, i’m just an amateur, wannabe, babby’s first survivalist, with all my antigummint rants and muh silver and guns and bitcoin and live free or die and don’t tread on me and monsanto sucks and high fructose corn syrup sucks and GMOs suck and the Fed Sucks and all that. SO PREDICTABLE.

but I do like predictable, esp on the job. What gets me so nervous is I never know what to expect, what’s gonna be in that next call. I would prefer it was the same boring thing over and over again, like muh last job. I like boring repetitive mind numbing predictability.

but yeah. there have been DOOMSDAY PREPPERS around since the dawn of time, it’s nothing new, even though it might even be more MAINSTREAM with the walking dead and the tv shows and what have you. or even pawn shop tv shows and people talking about gold and silver more, cuz they’re f00king broke as a joke.

sun 1128a: YEP skipping my prechurch SHOWER so I can play around on the INTERNET for a few minutes. it was well worth it. yep a little worried and stressed about going into WORK tomorrow, and I’m sure I will be crapping my pants before the first call tomorrow, but….it will also prob get better after that first call, and I handle a few. I just hope its not TOO crazy, It’s best to have a few minutes in between calls. God Have Mercy On Me, instead of PLaying on the INternet and Blogging, I should have been Furiously Job Searching, to find a new job as soon as possible. Also I have a good shot at getting my old job back, I could just do that, and THEN continue to search for a FT job, because the old job was PT and that was its big problem, so I left when I found a FT job. but this FT job kinda sucks, and not because it’s FT, but because it’s stressful as f00k.

so you keep facing your fears until you’re not afraid of them any more. but that may take a while. months. but at least it gets incrementally better every day so that you don’t have to run to the docker for Lorazepam, hehe. or you could do that too. Your job can’t fire you for being on a legit prescription. they can just say uhh please lay off your legit Rx or we might have to lay you off and probably pay bennies. Dunno about that: What Is The Likelihood That You Could Get Laid Off With Unemployment Insurance just because you were taking Strong Anxiety Meds that Made You Seem High To The Custos?