sun janu 26 8.17pm i should really be in bed. not watching simpsons and trying to play Bitcoin POker, hehehehe. but I just won like 2.67$ on the site. or .003 bitcoin. Uh Oh. Think I have found my bete noir. Bitcoin Poker.  I was tempted to buy like $20 more BTC right now. just cuz it takes a week to clear, and because 1 chip = .001 BTC, although small blind is .05 of 1 chip, ie, like .00000000005 btc. hehe.

note to self. I am starting out muh bankroll there with .02 btc. as of today.  that is muh initial investment. use that to calculate Total Winz.

but let’s say the site shuts down and they run off with muh money. because theoretically they are controlling my account on that site, wherein I transfer the btc from my wallet.

heh. all because I am too lazy and scared to go to a live poker room in a gd CASINO. well, not scared. if i can do this gd JOB of mine, I can do just about ANYTHING, including be a PAYING CUSTOMER at a casino for GOD’s sakes.

next day. monday. 1 27 956pm. just got off WORK and now I am GAMBLING with REAL MONEY (maybe) at the bitcoin casino heh. was actually an ok day of work, starting off seriously thinking I was going to QUIT, thinking of muh email I would write to muh old boss,  then i quickly checked the website to see if there was a job opening, there was not, so that slowed my hand, and then i started handling my calls allright. that was good. made it thru monday relatively unscathed. but i see that it’s FRIDAY which is the danger day. NOT looking forward to friday, although I guarantee you, I will be gambling like a madman this weekend hehehe. lets you buy giftcards with btc. i am still really not solid on how you convert btc back to usd.  which kinda sucks because how are you supposed to pay REAL LIFE BEELZ w btc then.

YES i am playing micro stakes, .05/.1 blinds, where 1 = 1 chip = .001 btc == like 80 cents.  so, big blind is like 8 cents. maximum buy in 10 chips, ie 8 dollars. and i have no intention to moving to a higher stakes table any time soon. I am playing even MORE conservatively, and I play pretty conserv to begin with.

heh. when i am making 100 dollars a day then we’ll talk. now i am lucky to come out 3 dollars / .003 btc ahead per day. taking it real slow. new territory here. really as long as i am ahead AT ALL vs behind AT ALL I will be happy. note that I have put in .02 btc total.

okay i had a strong hand, a straight, even raised it once, to win a pot of a whopping .00127 btc, ie about 1 dollar. and i prob could have gotten a little more greedy! just being THAT cautious.

note: PROB can use coinbase to get usd for btc. much as I use it to get btc for usd. yes you can, it’s under “sell btc” hehe. they take their cut of course.

but yeah. i hate to have a bad beat and then go to bed angry, then have to sleep on that. that’s the bad thing about gambling at night after work. and before more work. i guess if you have a job where you don’t sh1t your pants every day then it doesnt matter. like my sweet, sweet old job, which i miss like a waifu infatuation pedestal true love Numbered Girl mother of muh children. GOD have mercy on my soul.

NO they do not have a ZOOM feature here, thank GOD, where you get instantly whisked away to a new table and new hand the instant you fold.

ok new plan. wait until I see muh old job actually open up before reapplying to it and emailing old boss begging, hehehe.  continue surviving one day at a time with new job and not being killed, thus being made stronger, by the LORD. Forged in the fire.


but yeah. you know you are stressed out when you can’t even THINK about gurls, even if you see a Cute Gurl walking by, and you can’t even. #ICant. you see a cute girl and say, if I weren’t so Worried About Work, I would be finding her attractive. but right now I’m just more concerned about getting thru this day with SH!TTING THE BED.

heh. i am staying up way too late. playing CARDS. thats another bad thing. ok. lights out at 11pm, NO EXCUSES. got 8.5 hours of TERRIFYING, DREADFUL work tomorrow. NOT CHILL AT ALL.  but it would be real nice to take my 10 chips and turn it into 11, hehehe.

heh. maybe i should try yoga.

or a sauna would be REAL nice when it is THIS cold, with the Arctic Blast and the Polar Vortex, and highs of 0. SO COLD. not on a work night of course, but like friday night. just go to the Local Big Chain Fitness Gym and ask if they have a sauna and pay to use it once a week.

heh. or how about being so stressed and nervous at work you can’t even eat your lunch. can’t eat, can’t find attractive women attractive, real good uh? WELCOME TO THE WORKING WORLD, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, GET USED TO IT.

oooh dipped below 10 chips (muh Starting AND max buy-in), not good. got 6 minutes to bring it up. heh and there’s a commercial on tv for a local casino. nice. gambling. very powerful drug. i hope to GOD i do not EVER develop a GAMBLING PROBLEM. have not yet. like to keep it that way. def have a few “risk factors” prob though. damn.



jan 26, sunday, 3:48 pm

wowee. slept literally all day. had a fun night yesterday, dinner with frand, trip to mall to ogle high school gurls, playing vidya games and having good times and laughing and joking and clowning, petting a soft kitty heh. good times. went to christian church on saturday for once so I ‘was able to’ sleep in on sunday till like 11 am. Now I drank the TEENSIEST bti of nyquil sat night, not terribly proud of, but it happened, oh well. like less than half a proper dose. slept till 11 am, go tup, then went BACK To bed for a Sunday Nap, and NAPPED until about  3:40 pm, and here we are now. not bad uh. in midst of an Arctic Blast. might go for powerwalk, might not. who knows.

naturally a bit worried about the new job, if they’re gonna lay me off, just DO it already, i don’t want to wait 1 more day. yes at this point I officially WANT to get laid off so I can move on w my life, by trying to go back to muh old job, hehehehe. don’t even care about the HUUUGGEEE drop in pay. f00k it. don’t even care about the Loser Feels. Loser Feels are BETTER than being Worried and Stressed and Anxious all the time. Also I am trying my BEST, I have not GIVEN UP yet, which is good.

went to mall on a Sat night and saw so many qt high school gurls. at my advanced age it is hilariously clear that women are Obviously their most attractive at age 18, and that this is the IDEAL time for them to Get Married and Have Children. 18. No Later. Certainly not 30. Don’t go to college and focus on career when you’re young; when you’re young, focus on getting married and having children; and THEN you can do career when you’re OLDER.

So I am very confident in my LIfe PLan to marry an 18 year old when I am 45 or 50, and start having babies with her then, when I am financially stable and able to support a fam. and if that never happens, then I just have babies at age 50 anyway and just try my best. smart people are able to raise babies even when they are poor. and i mean good babies, that are able to fend for themselves, not live off the Fedgov, and able to have 3 children of their own some day, able to find a wife.

heh it sucks being a WEAKLING who can’t handle life,  who gives up and quits too easily, who can’t do the bare minimum of life, whose only resorts are to be taken care of by someone else, whether it is family, or gummint, or jail. and there are millions of weak losers in one of these situations. well, if you have a choice of who’s gonna take care of you, then thank GOD if it’s your FAMILY. that is the most winning of those 3 loser situations, BY FAR.

a beautiful thing I learned, was that they now sell Mt Dew Code Red in Big Cans of 24 oz. now. I was at a speedway gas station on my social saturday and felt like partying with some code red, as is my right. was planning to buy 2 20 oz bottles. that was for 3.50. then I looked up and saw 2 24 ox Big Cans for 3.00. WHOA. WHAT A DEAL. so I bought those instead. Drank one, and brought one home to save for Next Weekend. Everybody’s Working For The Weekend, hehehehe.

Gainesville Coins has a good price on silver rounds but it has a darn flat rate shipping of like 11$. Lesson: Amagi Metals is still best price for buying small amounts.

obviously if you have $1000 to spend on silver, where you can prob get the best deals, i am nto talking to you, hehehe.

6.10 pm cleared a little snow and then went for a powerwalk as the sun was going down. as of jan 26th you can still eat dinner at 5 pm and then take a powerwalk after dinner before it gets completely dark.

heh. all the people i know who get married are NOT doing what I would do re marriage, Ie wait till you the man are older, like at LEAST 40, and then marry an 18 year old (“MUCH younger”) gurl . no, they usually will be Dating a Woman around their same age, at about their same station/career level, for a few years solid, then engagement and mawwiage. very often the woman will be annoyingly career-focused and demand that her man be annoyingly career-focused as well.

imho i’d almost rather marry dumb white trash, hahaha. as long as they didn’t have kids, tattoos, or a high number, hehehe. although those are usu the defining characteristics of dumb white trash.

would LOVE to find myself a nice Country Girl or Farm Girl who is into Traditional Values, Marrying Young, and does not mind GOD and GUNS.

It is amazing how much Professional Leftists are SCARED of Guns and Gun Owners. And they seriously think Responsible Gun Owning White Proles are responsible for All Gun Violence, from Black On Black Illegally-Carried Gun Crime, to All Skool Shootings and Mall Shootings etc.  Because Normal People in Kansas Legally own a few guns and have never committed a felony with them.

heh. ok not a political blog. I just saw a post on facebook by a PhD at an Elite Institution and Shook Muh Head. And also thought of the Poor PhDs forced into Part Time Jobs at Insanely Unelite Institutions, ie, forced to teach English 101 to Gun-Owning Prole Students who have no interest, and rightfully so, in fancy pants marxist activist poets. good riddance.


Gucci Marxists who drive Daddy’s BMW and prattle on about Social Justice and Race and Class and Sex and Oppression and Intersectionality and Postmodernism, hehehe. to steal the term “Gucci Marxist” from a fav polit commentator of mine.




sat 1.40p jan 25

ok new policy, may have already said, will now post up to one month in advance. but no moar! i think prev my rule was 2 weeks. meh. now its 4.

yep would be surprised if i do NOT get laid off next week, to be honest. muh strugguling HAS been noticed and I should be praying to GOD for a layoff, because I do not like the job at all, it is very stressful, and I would love to quit and receive Welfare. So I’m kinda hoping for it. I don’t mind taking some abuse but this is way more than I bargained for, i might as well work as a SERVER and make more money. maybe.

went to get oil change on a saturday (yeah i SHOULD know how to do this muhself) and got ripped off and it took like 90 minutes. saturday busiest day to serve all the Customers who WORK for a living.

could also get up early and do this before muh job, but muh job is so stressful that it is quite literally the only thing I can do all day.

yep things will be so much better when i get laid off, hehehe. can try to get muh old job back, and that would be SICK. unless they treated me as a Pariah after hiring me back. prob wouldn’t, but even if they did, it would be better than current job. because the duties of the old job are low stress, I did them well, I was an expert at them, and I was unlayoffable, in a union. And if they shunned me, they would get shown up for abusing their BEST employee, because I was so good I would have people going to my manager telling them how GOOD I was. True Story.

heh. maybe I could QUIT and tell my fam I got LAID OFF and was collecting welfare for being LAID OFF. well, since I ‘m LIKELY to get laid off ANYWAY, soon, it would be pretty STUPID to quit before that, and tarnish my background AND throw away my welfare check. muh pension. muh bennies. hehehehe.

ok. so just sit back, relax, and wait to be laid off soon, and just get through one day at a time without quitting. and write tonnes of BLOGS about it. hehehehe. that’s normal right, EVERYONE does this, it’s a thing, a very widespread social phenomenon.

oh yeah. the main point. friday night/sat morn had a DREAM, interesting. it was about this gurl I used to work with at muh great old job. she was ok but I was never in luv with her, wouldn’t mind throwing it in though. but once in a great while I will have a dream about her that makes me rethink things, that maybe I was more attracted to her than I thought. she got a masterz degree in one of the fieldz i was thinking of getting a masterz degree in, but decided against it because it was too risky, job market too horrible, too many PT jobs. for a MASTERS degree. she got a decent lower middle class FT job with it, something SLIGHTLY diff than what the degree implies to the Layman. Good for her. However I chalked that up to her being a not ugly, early twenties Gurl. I would have less high hopes for an Old Man such as muhself who was just earning the degree. plus she had better undergrad extracurriculars than I did, and also had ok masterz extracurriculars. of COURSE I have a copy of her res, i’d be stupid NOT to!

so the dream. she was contacting me because I had some movie or book or perhaps work related or school related thing she wanted to borrow, she wanted to come to muh house to get it. there was the impression that I was younger, like 18 or 20 or so, and was living with muh fam, and we had just moved to a Poshfag Upper Middle Class House, and I knew the gurl would be impressed with muh new room, and I looked forward to making out with her and moar. She called me saying she was at point x and kinda lost and I laughed, these gurls are all horrible with directions, you’re really close, she mentioned a bar nearby, I said Okay i’ll meet you at that bar. It looked like a trashy bar from the outside, and i had never been there, but once you got inside, it was really Quaint and Fancy and Nice. Some of muh other frandz started showing up and it turning into something of a party. I did not want to get separated from the gurl, I still was focused on her, did not want muh frandz seducing her away from me. (one of muh frandz produced a document saying that he was the father of two children, aged 8 and 10, that he never talked about and only saw once a year and we were shocked to know he had, he did not talk to the mother, we did not know the mother, and the kids came about when he was like 18 and now that he was Early Thirties they had grown up a bit. He was signing a paper saying he was giving them like one dollar per year. VERY WEIRD.)

so I went to explore the bar/restaurant and it turned out to be HUGE, with MANY different huge themed rooms, and soon it became like a New Age Kama Sutra Eat Pray Love Yoga Whatever sort of Spiritual Discovery Center, where 30+ Women go to have parties for Kama Sutra and Yoga and get in touch with the Goddess Within. Weird, Stupid, but Amusing, I thought.  But I kept getting LOST in this HUGE building and jsut wanted to get back to the gurl.

I could not find my way back; muh phone was not connecting, horrible service, to any of my friends or to the girl; I was starting to feel a bit DRUNK and it turned out I had been drinking, and I was a little upset about that;

at one point I asked this Deepak Chopra looking indian man for help, I was LOST, and he grabbed me and started praying this weird prayer that would somehow help me. then he started CHEWING on my EAR and SLOBBERING all over it, as if that was part of his religious ritual. ummmm I said, this is kind of weird. Some of the Spiritual Partiers had noticed and were laughing. Finally he was done and I was whisked away to some outdoor plaza looked like in the mountains. great, now I was even farther away from the gurl. It was like an open air market or carnival. I stopped at one “store” that was a Grateful Dead store, you had to pay $2 to get in. Fine I said, I wouldn’t mind buying 2 graetful dead t-shirts. I went in and there were hippies. off to the side there was a sauna like room filled with wood and or leather objects, very pleasant sauna environment, and soft banjo versions of GD songs playing, sorta like the “Shady Grove” album done by Jerry Garcia.  then I was in a car near the trashy outside of that “bar” again and trying to get my driver to get me there as soon as possible, hoping the girl hadn’t left. then I woke up. did not see the girl. I think I saw her ONCE near the beginning of the dream, and at that time, things were boding well for later.

So, interesting. I looked at her facebook and she appears not to have quit her job yet or been laid off or made any public posts like “OH GOD I HATE MY JOB I HOPE I GET LAID OFF” hehehe. So prob she likes her job and has been promoted as she has been there maybe a year and a half. Good for her. I’d bribe her to get me a job there.


fri 1 24, 1129 p

yep can’t do a full post here. too tired. drink coffee and crash. very cold day, super cold and then very windy on top of it, made Smoking Outside really difficult. and when you have a Super Stressful Job, SMOKING is a MUST. You’re an idiot if you DON’T smoke.

too wiped out to even listen to music, just watching family guy filth in the bg, dam this show is filth. gimme american dad all day instead. DONE with fam guy.

so anyway, if i get laid off, I must not take it personally, because they WANT to lay ALL the new people off, they are looking for ANY reason, plus the people there NOW were given MORE CHANCES when THEY started, THEY had it EASIER than WE do. Period. Fact. Yes that is the way the Business World works sometimes, I guess that’s fine. it will mean I get this weight lifted from muh shoulders hehehehe.

My advice to You is, move back in with your Family, bonus points if they are Above Water on their Mortgage, then when they die, you remain in the house, and one day, you will prob own the house, and then just stay there until you neighborhood Goes Bad as many neighborhoods inevitably do. see how that works?

it is all very interesting. Bourgeois Middle Class people never live in neighborhoods that “go bad”. In a way I am Middle Class enough because when my childhood neighborhood started to go bad, we had the Middle Class Privilege of being able to Move Away from that. Many people do not have that privilege.

I won’t even discuss How or Why Neighborhoods Go Bad, just that they DO, and this makes life unpleasant for the people who live there. PERIOD.

so then you try to find an affordable neighborhood that won’t go Bad for like 30 years. some neighborhoods never go bad, and the home values go up instead of go down.

for some people, Renting probably IS a better deal than buying. instead of the Ideal of Home Ownership being the American Dream. because it’s not owning a home, it’s being a Debt Slave for 30 years, a huge albatross around your neck, a TRAP, worse than a wife, hahaha. DON’T GET SUCKERED INTO A MORTGAGE.

heh. unless you are sure your house will be worth MORE in 30 years.

My fam was/is Solid Upper Working Class, Lower Middle Class, Union Jobs, etc, classic live within your means, save, fiscally conservative, don’t take out huge loans, try to pay your house off, etc, and I really appreciate those values, that ethic. because it guarantees me a house to live in for the next 30 years hehehehehe, a place off of the streets. and muh current neighborhood might just last another 30 years before it turns into a “GHETTO” hehehhe.

“calling a neighborhood a GHETTO is RACIST!!!!”

again, not even gonna get into that. I AM a little racist, I don’t care if saying that is a little racist, if the nieghborhood were full of poor law-abiding minorities it wouldn’t be a ghetto, it’s when they are poor AND belligerent.

i have reached the age where I don’t care anymore about being a racist. SO BE IT. there are more important things in life, like finding a decent job, finding decent mates, finding a decent home.  who cares if you’re so RACIST that you don’t want to live in a GHETTO. caring about that BS is for 20 year olds and collegefags.

When the Going Gets Tuff, the Tuff Get RACIST.

Imma Racist And I Don’t Care, Imma Racist and I Don’t Care.

Heh. Getting Laid off would give me plenty of time to make my Documentary about Job Searching and Surviving in 2014, for people who Aspire to be Upper Working Class.

Maybe the more reasonable thing is to Aspire to be Middle or Lower Working Class? well, muh current Godawful Job is prob Middle Working Class. And it’s already hard as hell to hold down THAT job.

so i guess lower working class would essentially be Working Poor. Aspire To Be Working Poor. working at walmart, minimum wage, several low-wage part time jobs. and this is clearly the way Jobs Are Going.

nothing really profound there, and this not prounfound realization drive many people to become COMMUNISTS, and I almost went that way, and I don’t want to go that way again. No Sir. The Right is Right for me. Of course I can still be a Strict Rightist and be against CRONY Capitalism, right?  well, I am becoming more of a Nationalist anyway, I believe that a country should look out for the best interests of its citizens, ie, keeping wages high in the nation. BUT without minimum wage laws. so how then. how to Stimulate Job Growth In Your Country. I dunno, I don’t have an MBA hahahaha.

Well not taking out huge loans to buy a house and go to college would be a great first step, that most average people could easily take, that would involve no gummint intervention whatsoever.

or maybe just work for your family business. Your Father can’t fire you, hahahahahaha. but he can pay you nothing. but you can prob get in on his business health care and live at his house, hehehe. Not really sure, did not come from an Entrepreneurial Family. But some people do. Like First Gen Immigrants who come over and start a business and have kidz. Good for them I say. Maybe. But I would rather instill that work ethic into Muh Fellow Americans. or just muh self, hahaha.

maybe i just have a horrible work ethic and THAT is what makes me unable to hold down a Middle Working Class Job, hahahaha. just don’t have the Right Attitude for SURVIVAL. just a morally lazy loser, hehehe. no that can’t be, that is what I am fighting against, and helping you fight against, so we can call survive on this gay earth, in this super ridiculous Working World.



might have already had a post with that title, heh.

10.58pm, jan 24, 2014, FRIDAY

YEP made it thru another week. turns out friday is not very slow, indeed it’s actually one of the WORST/busiest days of the week. NICE. GIMME MOAR.

BUT…the new hires at muh jerb are seemingly being held to a higher standard, because they are looking to lay off anyone and everyone, especially newer people. If you are not performing super high quality right away, boom instalayoff. Quite honestly I would be surprised if I were NOT laid off soon, like in the next 2 weeks. and I honestly wouldn’t MIND it.

So when you get a tough question on some really weird sh1t, not only do you have to pretend you’re an expert on the matter and be cool and cofident….ok now there is a level of higher pay grade “supervisors” who have been there longer, level 2 if you will, and you can ask them for help. But if you ask them for help TOO MUCH, then you get laid off, because you’re bugging them, and should be learning faster, and utilizing the other static literature resources, instead of asking an actual person. because you’re new and aren’t picking it up fast enough, aren’t getting over the learning curve fast enough, BOOM, layoff.  If you struggle, layoff. If you struggle and ask one of these people for help instead of searching for the needle in a haystack, boom, layoff.

Heh. Pretty sure I WANT to be laid off! And I think my previous plan of letting muh performance slip might just WORK, ie, they would be QUICK to lay me off rather than turn up the pressure on me and force me to quit. because they’re laying SO MANY people off right now. I assume they will be paying them Unemployment rather than saying they were FIRED for GROSS NEGLIGENCE. Because they’d rather Lay people off for Minor Negligence.  just hope that doesn’t show up in a background check. because this stuff is kinda hard and it Just Takes Time to Learn. if you’re not a Superfast Learner…..layoff. they will not keep you around just to abuse you.

so i had a decent day thrusday and a pretty rough day friday. first call of the day was loooooong, MUCH longer than they want. at least 3 superiors were aware and watching me. ton of weird sh1t one after the other. the caller was nice thank god, but now I’m learning it’s not really the callers you have to be most worried about, it’s your superiors thinking you’re asking them too many questions.

and of course they can see exactly how long you’ve been on a Call, so if you go over x minutes you get a message IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? and where I thought that may be Courteous Concern, like How May I Help You, it might also mean, you better get this solved fast so you can move on to more calls, oh now you’re asking “Stupid questions” to your superiors, duly noted, now you’re fired.

so it was a super busy day friday and they offered overtime, meaning you could stay past your closing time. this happened last friday too but I scurried off at my normal time, i just wanted to get out of there; and said well maybe next friday I will do it, just to make a good impression. so that indeed happened so I decided to stay an extra hour at least. but had a couple of more long weird calls during that time. so me doing overtime looks good, but me taking a long time looks bad. 70% of the people that were hired in at the same time as me, are GONE. I will DEF be next. after today, I am sorta EXPECTING to get laid off next week. And I wouldn’t terribly MIND.

I could PROBABLY go back to muh old job, which of course pays not much more than Unemployment prob would. But I would Kiss The Ground there. I would be an EVEN BETTER employee than I was when I was there, because I have already picked up Great New Skills from new job.

WHAT IF I couldn’t get the old job back. well, then just collect unemployment, make about as much money, and have even moar time to search for new job.  but just BEING Unemployed makes you look bad to Employers, hehehe, in other words, getting muh old job back would help me in finding a new job from there, better than being Completely Jobless.



Heh or WHEN I get laid off I can just go to trade school. not sure the best. Kinda like electrician because I have a Frand who is one. but is Welding, HVAC, or PLumbing Signif less “risky” than electrician? dunno. dunno even how to ANSWER that question. and who can you trust to answer that question correctly. answer: not an electrician skool, hehehehe.

f00k this gay earth.gif, hehehehe

felt pretty bad about eating that MEdicinal Edible 1 week ago, because how am I gonna pass a DRUG TEST for 1 month, hehehe, just 1 month flushed down the toilet. how do medicine takers get and keep jobs. don’t take that medicine. just go to the doc and get an rx for powerful, addictive benzos, hehehehe.

wanted to make some cigs tonight but honestly too dam tired. drinking coffee at 11pm just to get some writing in.

nontheless i am THANKFUL to the LORD for this CHARACTER-BUILDING TRIAL. really getting put through the ringer here. while it would be humbling to be laid off for being “incompetent”, it is very important to remember that the people who have BEEN there a year or more were under the gun LESS when they were first hired in, ie, they had more of an allowance for screwups. meanwhile, us new hires in late 2013, we screwup, we’re gone. the old timers were given a good cushion to Learn. We are not.



might be a misleading title. or depending how the future plays out, maybe not.

thurs 1 23, 9.45 pm

a rare weeknite post. thurs night. mon tues wed i would get out of ARBEIT MACHT FREI and IMMEDIATELY go to bed, took ALL my strength just to get thru the day. did NOT watch tv, did NOT unwind, well I had a small snack thank GOD, and it’s GOOD not to watch TV Filth, but I was also worried because they are STILL laying people off, and I kind of WANT to be laid off, because then I won’t have to go to that godawful job, and I’ll get paid unemployment, and can look for a better job, and be able to prove i was legitly laid off for business needs. rather than Quitting for being an Emotional, Unemployable Loser.

i honestly don’t know muh chances. by now the MAJORITY of the group of people hired at the same time as me are GONE. LAID OFF. maybe about 65% of them. But i’m sticking around because I have Good Attendance, and Good Performance.

Yesterday was Super Stressful, a MIRACLE that I got thru, but today was actually not so bad, maybe the best day I have had so far. 23 phone calls, about 17 minutes average call, and 6:20 total phone time.  I handled myself pretty well, had several very pleased callers. The trick really is to just Chill Out and not Worry, and get into that mindset even when you get something you’ve never HEARD of before, and then keep calm and Reach Out to the resources available to you without panicking or overthinking.  and then bringing that sense of calm confidence to the caller. this is of course MUCH easier said than done and has taken me a LONG time to even BEGIN to do so. other people have gotten LAID OFF because they did not do this FAST enough. It’s a miracle I have done it fast enough. this is the type of thing with a steep learning curve and PEOPLE NEED TIME to get good at it, and they’re UNJUSTLY laying people off before even letting them have that time! very nice people that I liked! the worst is when you realize “Oh sh1t I haven’t seen that person in a few days,” and then you never see them again because they’ve been LAID OFF. well I hope they are getting decent unemployment!!!

and tom is fri and i have a fun social event semi planned for this weekend, nice dinner and gaming with old frand. thank GOD.

AND I came home tonight feeling ok for once, and found muh new silver round waiting for me, which I got for a decent price. lesson: amagi metals is a much better price than apmex. although a smaller selection.

AND I finally got muh bitcoin delivered. I guess the REAL smart thing to do would be to Buy Bitcoin Low, wait for it to SKYROCKET, and then buy Silver with it. hehehe. would that even work? Or would silver skyrocket right alongside Bitcoin, and then silver would be like 800 dollars an ounce? hehehe.

So I look at muh 6 pieces of silver and can’t help but think of the old story of Judas betraying CHRIST for thirty pieces of silver. if we assume those were 1 tr oz pieces, and silver at ABOUT $20 an ounce, then that’s about 600$ to sell our LORD down the river.

and I play with muh nice little STACK and thank GOD for the PRIVILEGE of being able to enjoy this silver.

but yeah. kinda gonna slow down on the mad spending i think. first world privilege. thank GOD. THIS is why I thank GOD all the time. I could be getting LITERALLY raeped up the A every day.

i talked for 2 seconds but pretty normally with the QT Gurl  today as well. might be muh new #1 from that place. NICE. simple small talk whilst smoking a cig outside. I only try to smoke no more than 2 cigs thru the day, and 1 before the beginning. so 3. given the stress level of the job, one SHOULD be smoking like a whole pack for one 8 hour shift, hehehe. a cig after every call.

heh heh if you don’t wake up every morning DREADING going into your DREADFUL job, then YOU DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB. REAL MEN Dread Going To Their Job Every Day. Want to PUKE and Poop Blood.

Or I guess real men wouldn’t get so SCARED, they wouldn’t let it GET to them, but they’d also perform their job well enough not to get LAID OFF or god forbid FIRED.

so the job does get bearable i suppose. and that is all i can ask. It certainly hasn’t become permanently bearable, just starting to show signs that it could be. maybe. but it might get REAL bad in feb. really wouldn’t put anything past it. I don’t TRUST the job at ALL. but my COWORKERS are decent good people thank GOD. it’s just a f00ked up JOB.  heh but this is the best a person with a WORTHLESS DEGREE can do in 2014! a young smart man near me also has a Worthless Degree. But he is early twenties, still young. great guy though, he’s helped me a lot, very smart, hope he can find a better job before he gets Old, hehehe.

lord, just bought like 11 more dollars of bitcoin because the price is going down. then I realized it would be smartest to WAIT for it to HIT bottom, THEN buy, because now I’m losing money as we speak.

Heh. I do not trust bitcoin more than I trust SILVER or GOLD. But I wouldn’t mind making a Profit off bitcoin, and if I had bought before the Big Boom in OCtober 2013 or so, I WOULD have. would like to get on some of that. wait for it to crash again, then buy, then boom again, then get rich quick, hehehe.

but don’t spend too much because the FEDGOV could snatch this stuff willy nilly. so I immediately move btc from my coinbase wallet into a blockchain wallet, then download the dam wallet. not sure if that would keep FEDGOV from snatching it, hehehe.



sun jan 19, 213p

so this is pubd the day after vtines day. more like valentines GAY, amirite? heh. the only people who like valentines day are WOMEN, f4ggots, betas, kissless virgins, fedora f4ggots, niceguys, beta orbiters, wimps, unmasculine men, boys not men. GROW A PAIR. MAN UP. hehehehe. Be An 4sshole To Women, so Women can S your D. And Moar!

I don’t HATE women, I just don’t Kiss Women’s A just because they’re Women. Women are often bigger filthy degenerate animals than men! I do not have a UNrealistically Inflated Opinion of Women On Average, I don’t HATE WOMEN, you LIARS!

well, to my political and ideological enemies, they are liars, but to all my fellow wirgins and losers and weaklings, you are muh frands.

just went for nice powerwalk in the freezing cold, good stuff, wish i could do this every day, and i wasn’t so busy working, worrying, and trying to get muh sleep. hehehe. brisk powerwalk is by far my favorite form of exercise, I will gladly go out in the freezing winter. I even bought a PONCHO in case its RAINING. I have a decent pair of sortof boots which have been serving me well doing this. heh. maybe I should go for a huge powerwalk at night after I get done with work. I will have to buy some Reflectors for muh Safety if I’m going to be out at night. Ideally would carry a Firearm as well. Can I Open Carry? if your state doesn’t have Open Carry, then go get a Concealed Weapon License.

“not have a diagnosed mental illness at the time the application is made, regardless of whether he or she is receiving treatment” ; heh what if you are taking Meds for “Depression” at the time the app is made. Or Anxiety. heheheh.

well state laws can be ridic and can prob be gotten around with A Law-yer, however Lawyers are expensive as f00k. This is for a Concealed Carry. I could probably do Open Carry even if I were taking Medz for Depression,which I will not confirm or disconfirm in Jan 2014.  although I might in the future hehehe.


well, at the very least, you could prob carry a sharp f00king Hunting Knife you bought at Walmart. Come On. And I won’t advise to Illegally Carry A Gun, but I will Say most Violent Criminals Prone To Committing Gun Violence are more than likely not carrying their own guns legally!!!

heh. I’m SIMPLY talking about protecting yourself from violent criminals while you try to take a relaxing WALK at Night because you have no time to do so during the day!!!!

well i just went and updated muh res with muh new job, it’s very rough right now, but i am just putting a ridiculous amount of stuff on the res, TOO MUCH really, to make me look qualified (or overqualified!!!) for that coveted $12 an hour low stress FT job.  Like I say, the new additions sound pretty good, and it will look pretty good, but I gotta work on the format a little more, making it look neat. added my “independent study” on there to REALLY beef up the res, ALMOST felt guilty, like I was lying or exagerrating, but at this point in life, I can’t feel too guilty about BSing a little to try to get my foot in the door, just trying to get an interview here, for an Entry Level Job. If I’m ever Looking For Anything UP from an Entry Level Job, then I will be moar selective in what I put on my res, ie, RELEVANT stuff only. But at this point, just about anything and everything is relevant.  To prove I’m smart, reliable, trainable, good with people, not a disturbed maniac, hehehehe.

USE RIDIC WORDS AND BUZZWORDS ON YOUR REZ SO YOU SOUND SMART. for example “variegated” hehehe. just come right out and say you have Superior Soft Skills in Communicating with Clients and Customers. You Can TALK TO PEOPLE GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I would say even blatant LIE as long as the lie can’t be disproven….

BUT, IN CONTRAST, if you lie on your concealed carry application and say you’ve never taken SSRI’s, but you have, then you’ve falsified your gun app and that itself is  prob a crime, and will definitely prohibit you from ever getting a concealed carry at the very least. Not that it’s RIGHT for the gumming to be so invasive! BUT it’s still better than Communism or China or Africa or 90% of the other words countries. Except maybe Switzerland, hehehehe. Yes, every person in switzerland owns like 10 guns.  and they are beautiful and healthy and not fat and probably the swiss franc is backed by gold. (citation needed). I would emigrate there but naturally it is next to impossible to become a Swiss Citizen.

but prob employers doing mere background checks on you might be more lax than the gummint doing a gun check on you, less invasive, and so you were bad with a customer once doesn’t mean you aren’t Great With Customers! You Can’t Prove It! Put the Burden of Proof on THEM to PROVE that you were Horrible with Customers every single time, becuase then they’re bound to find the one or more times you were GREAT with customers!!!!

Lesson Learned: buy A REflective Apron or something with Lights on it that you can wear to be visible to cars on your NightTime Walks, take a sharp knife with you at least for protection, and lie about anything that can’t be proven/disproven on your res.