janu 6 2014 update

jan 6 2014 1034pm

REAL QUICK. can only take 10 mins tops here. had first day of living hell and THANK GOD, THANK THE ONE TRUE GOD ABOVE, THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME CONFIDENCE, I made it through the first day without breaking down, melting down, freaking out. How did I do it? Through the grace of God, helping me Talk Like A Boss. I can SOUND like a boss even if I have no idea whats going on.

EVERYTHING WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED. Think I did 11 calls. some of the calls were long, actually way too long, but just gettin gthrough the day alive, without crying, is enough for me today. I did it. 10 hours of calls. it slowed down near the end of the day, the last 2 hours or so THANK GOD. it might not always be that way. I am amazed that I made it, but I’m not amazed in the power of THE LORD. And I guess I am better at Faking Sounding confident, enough that I can keep the callers generally happy. I think I did better with the women than the men. one man intimidated the hell out of me at first, he was a old fashioned southern gentleman. i think the trick here is to be military confident, no nonsense, and after a few minutes even he softened up and made some small talk and I was happy to oblige him.  thankfully that led to about an hour of work on his stuff where I was able to Not take calls during a very busy call time, THANK GOD.

Even though I was never 100% sure of myself, whenever I picked up the phone, miraculously I pulled through. COnsciously tried to speak a little slower, which is what you’re supposed to do, makes you sound more confident. Gained some ACTUAL objective confidence in switching between all the 9000000 screens, and getting better at typing notes while talking. and those things add to the actual confidence too, rather than scrambling like a spag pockets.

So I just wanted to say that, THANK GOD, everything went better than expected, PLEASE GOD let me keep this up now and into the future. Usually if you sound confident, then I’ve found you are more calm in searching for the answer, then then by GOD you sometimes find that answer in good time, and that does lead to REAL confidence. Point is, any confidence, real or fake, leads to a better call.

another 10 hour day tomorrow, should be neat. ANNNNDDDDD to top it all off, we had the hugest snowstorm in 20 years last night and could barely get out of muh neighborhood. but I managed to do it, and to get there IN TIME. WOW.  and then the car THANK GOD started at the end of the day when it was WELL below 0 NOT counting the wind chill. smoked only ONE cig thru course of 10.5 hour day, SO COLD my fingers were burning. did smoke 1 cig immed upon arriving, then it was morning and a LITTLE warmer, like 7 degrees hehehehe. BUT THANK GOD the main roads were ok, and muh car was good. THANK GOD. there were SO many people having car trouble. THANK GOD for my privilege.

If you think me saying THANK GOD 9000000 times in this post is SANCTIMONIOUS, go F off. I am just so grateful and so happy, WORRYING SICK about this RUINED my entire weekend, and THANK GOD the first day back went well. not perfect but if every day was this good, i’d be fine with that. it is kinda exhausting though. got to get to bed NOW, getting up at 6:20 am tom, got errand to run, its gonna be just as COLD but at least no fresh snow, please GOD let the car start, let me get there in time from muh errand, let the roads not be death traps of sheer black ice, and most of all, please GOD help me be as confident tomorrow as I was today. THANK YOU GOD.

yeah that WORRYING was the WORST feeling in the world, the WORST I’ve been in a while, and I thank GOD that living hell is over. THAT was worse than the actual time I was on the phone today, I know I was on the phone at LEAST 5 or 6 of my 10 hours. crazy right?

DEFINITELY a good learning and character building experience; DEF a huge RES building thing; DEF make me better at interviews; DEF prepare me for a better job in the future, hopefully something a bit chiller hehe. I can do this a little bit but wouldn’t want to do it forever. PLEASE GOD JUST LET ME LAST THREE MONTHS until things die down and I get the layoff in Q2.

also, by taking these calls and doing all these things, I LEARN stuff which will help me in FUTURE calls. if not direct fixes, then something to get me close, AND to make me sound more CONFIDENT, and that’s the most important thing. THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING ME SUCCESSFULLY SOUND CONFIDENT TODAY.

Ok bedtime.