sat jan 11 2014, 3:13 pm

almost felt like taking a nap. got a 10 hour day on monday and then 8 hour days tues thru fri. so 2 hours of OT. I am kinda happy the OT is being cancelled but everyone else is not, then want as much OT as possible so as to make monay. I would prefer not to deal with the stress. could probably still make more money GAMBLING. don’t think I’ve forgotten that little get rich quick scheme! Texas Holdem.

Watch the Show “Regular Show”, it is very funny and neat and is guaranteed to put you in a better mood. “Adventure Time” is VERY f4ggy though, I do not recommend it, unless you want to become a 30 year old kissless virgin! besides, KISSING grills is overrated, unless you are in TRUE LOVE with her, like I was with Girl7. Pedestal. and in that case the kissing might be ok, but it is outweighed by the suckiness when it all comes crashing down.

heh. the real bad part is that if Girl7 contacted me out of the blue right now and said that she wanted to Give Me Another Chance, I would TOTALLY let her. WELL, I would say first, listen you know I’m still in LOVE with you and I want to MAKE OUT with you, so uh, realize that by you wanting to hang out with me, you are implying to me that you will let me indeed make out with you, and hopefully moar. No Friendzone For me, baby. And then see what she says after that, hahaha.

sun jan 12 2014.

got home from church, prepping music player with some satanic music i’ve been hankering, hehehe. i enjoy those kinds of contradictions. i use satanic music to glorify god through my appreciation of music. perhaps god is able to find a way to work through satan, just to confound satan.

did some nice friendly socializing last night, that was much appreciated, and cut down on the stress and worrying. he thought I seemed stressed out, strange, because I didn’t feel too stressed when I got there, I was just probably talking more, as I’ve had to talk a lot more in the new job. so he offered me an Atavan, i think it was 5 mg, 1 very small tablet. The actual name was Lorazepam, which sounds like a benzo, I said is this Lortab, No he said it was Atavan.


ok it is Ativan, which is a strong benzo. I was feeling pretty chill after taking that 1 pill. not bad. I wonder if my speech was becoming slightly slurred, however I WAS extremely tired before I went over and did not have time to take a nap. this prob exacerbated the effect of the lorazepam. but yeah I chilled out quick and got very tired. heh. should take one of these before going out to take calls!

but yeah i read the warnings, this one is strong, addictive, habit forming, tolerance building, etc, so in MY medical docker opinion, I would only want to take a teensy bit to unwind on weekends, or take no more than once every other day, so you never have a chance to build up a tolerance. his Rx was written for 1 tablet twice a day. Heh. I would say ONE table ONCE every TWO days.

so that was interesting, especially since I have been thinking about convincing my doc to give me xanax or valium or a benzo or ativan…. i guess xanax is stronger than valium; not sure if ativan is stronger than xanax.

“Ativan has a longer half life than xanax. It doesn’t affect you quite as hard or as quickly. So ativan may be a better medication for you than xanax. That’s the case with lots of people. It’s still a benzo and very addictive so be careful. God bless.”

“Ativan isn’t necessarily better than xanax. They are for different purposes. Xanax is better for panic attacks as it works quickly and its effects are strong. Ativan works more slowly and is better for general anxiety disorder.”

source http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-drugs/ativan-stronger-than-xanax-53485.html

yeah got WORK tomorrow but not nearly as worried about it as I was last weekend, wonder why hehehe. might still be feeling the effects of that ativan. yep. definitely no more than one tab every other day, or once a week is more like it.  but it’s great not to be nervous! now will go outside and enjoy a nice powerwalk with some nice music while it is warmish and sunny! Nice! THANK GOD!