fri janu 3 2014 11:42 pm.

tahnk GOD for this computer i type on. thank GOD for this nice sweet chill mellow nighttime jazz station I’m listening to right now. (chill jazz, NOT “Smooth” jazz hehehe). thank GOD I made it through today without freaking out. thank GOD I have my nice family and a warm home to live in. thank GOD I don’t have cancer. thank GOD I have a Fulltime Job. but by god is it strarting out SO STRESSFUL. I am already going bald but I might be completely bald in the next week hehehe.

I mean this amount of stress can’t be HEALTHY can it? I am never too happy of a guy, but this kind of stress I am NOT used to, and this LEVEL of it, and I NEED some relief from it before I do something STUPID, like RageQuit.

I said just last a year. Now I am saying, just last three months. thing is, we will all get laid off in about three months anyway. In three months the Stressful Time will be over. Due to BUsiness NEeds and Business Cycle, certain times of the year are more busy and stressful than others, and Q1 is by FAR the worst for this job/company.

during Q2 I get laid off, and hopefully by q3 I am back working 40 hours a week during a Nonstressful, Quiet, Chill time.

OR I bust muh 4rse during the layoff, using my newfound phone skills to really HUSTLE with Hiring Managers and get muhself a new job.

I mean I was so freaked out that I thought about QUITTING and crawling back to muh OLD JOB, begging for my old job back, because it was SO MUCH Nicer, so much less stressful, so much easier, that no human being should be put under such stress, that I will get cancer or have a panic attack if I keep getting this much stress for much longer.

that I would gladly take a pay cut to relieve the stress. But would I take a pay cut as big as going back to muh old job???? which is both a HUGE hours cut AND a huge pay cut BOTH.

difference is, people LIVE OFF this new job. NOBODY can live off my previous job. It was not a bigboy job, it was not a job job, it was not a Lower Working Class Job, it was……..well, a PART TIME JOB meant for FULL TIME STUDENTS, to put it bluntly, and for me to be working it at my age and station in life was DISGRACEFUL, absolutely DISGRACEFUL, well according to who, by who’s standards, well american society’s standards hehehe, western society, normalfags, successfuls, etc hehehe, Working Class Bigboys.  But I didn’t really care about being that, so I didn’t care I was working a LOSER job, until I finally started caring enough about Just Being A Huge Loser In General, so when a new Full Time Proper job FELL INTO MY LAP, I took it as a SIGN FROM GOD and TOOK it.

Not trying to be narcissistic here, but I just NEED TO DUMP. And I KNOW there are a few people in the world who could sympathize or empathize with my story, there are prob a couple new hires in muh darn Office right now along with me in a similar boat who could relate to THESE FEELS!!!

PLus I want to offer The World a Real Time Snapshot of the Feels of Getting A New Job and undergoing an INTENSE Trial By Fire. Of being pushed to your limit and swim or sink. tested by GOD.

I def have enough material for two more posts but I am starting to physically crash, maybe my body reached its Stress Limit and just needs to shut down for sleep, and you could put me on the phone with the World’s Angriest Meanest Person right now, with the Hardest Question in the world, and maybe NOW I could face him with confidence. Or at least just TOO DAMN TIRED to be stressed any more. As long as I’m not stressed, that would be a decent way to work. heh. at the very least the person would get angry at me for an hour, tell me he hopes I get cancer, hang up the phone, call back, and try to get another person, if he got me again he would hang up and keep calling until he got someone else, then of course I would be called in for a meeting, and I would say, listen, I’m sorry, I was just Out of it on that one, I’m sorry, I’ll try to do better, i’ve never had a job like this before, I’ve been REALLY nervous lately, and this is just me when I’m not nervous, if you want to get rid of me then get rid of me, but I’m not an idiot, i mean I would do a lot better at a job where we didn’t have to talk to people as much, like data entry or doing repetitive tasks, yeah i realize you don’t have a job like that, well I’m sorry, that’s all I can say, I’m trying muh best and I think tomorrow will be better, but if you have to “Let me go” for my shoddy, weird performance, then go ahead, jsut PLEASE do me the favor of not putting in my PERMANENT BACKGROUND CHECK FILE that I was FIRED or TERMINATED, can we just say I QUIT, I don’t want the means of my exit here to hurt my future job search, can we just say I was LAID OFF, can I put that on future Job Apps, that I was Laid Off due to Business Needs or Budget Cuts, not because I was a Loser failure. Well maybe I am a loser failure but I am not on DRUGS or an 4sshole, I really did try my best, I was on time, early as a matter of fact, I was nice to all of you, it’s just these phone calls, so please don’t ruin the rest of my future life because of this, I will go to the ATM and give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS RIGHT NOW to do me that ONE favor, I’m not a bad guy, I might be a loser but I’m not a bad guy, and even if I am a loser I still firmly beleive I don’t deserve having my LIFE ruined because you had to fire me for bad performance.

And thing is, I’m pretty confident that they WOULD understand that and NOT try to ruin my future life and we WOULD agree on some jargon buzzword like laid off for business needs, and I WOULD not be blacklisted in the future for all jobs, permananelty unemployable, and I wouldn’t even need to give them 100 dollars, and they’ve prob done things like this before, I would not be the first or the last.

ok went over there in word count. but yeah you can see what I mean. and that is the worst case situation. and it’s not so bad.