heh heh THANK GOD my actual life is not in ruins, I am very thankful for that. But I thought that would be a hilarious response to the Small Talk Introduction Question of “How You Doin” or “How Are Ya”, instead of saying “Good” or “Just Fine, And You” like is expected, you throw a little curve ball with “My Life Is In Ruins”.  Of COURSE this is meant as a joke, you’re not supposed to get all negative nancy and debbie downer and try to get sympathy. it’s a JOKE. learn to have a sense of HUMOR.  Unless your life really IS in ruins. Then I will try to save you.

nov 30, sat, 11:02am

really hope to get muh traffic up hurr with one a day posts hahaha. lord I gotta stop writing like a 16 year old gurl. anyway still on vacation, still blowing off my Independent Study Homework, although to be fair I HAVE been busy about 60% of that blowoff time with New Job related stuff.

Let me clarify that maybe I’m not against The Career Cult wholesale. Like if you really like college and you really like your career and you’re doing ok and not a ridiculous workaholic neglecting your family, and generally moderately happy, then good for you, keep succeeding at your career. If career is really working for you and helping you win and make money and mate and have a good family, by all means, keep doing Career.

But Careers don’t work like that for all of us who attempt them. sometimes they blow up or fizzle out right in our f00king face, and then it seems we can’t do ANYTHING right, and have become huge losers At Life, and just want to give up and not try any more.

Heh. What do you call it when you don’t want to K yourself, don’t want to End The Pain, there’s not really PAIN per se, but you just want to give up and never try any more??

Morally Lazy Loserness. Heh. wish they had a pill to cure that. or at least heal it a bit, hehehe.

Yeah, it’s called 18yo gurls bending over 4 U. And if you can’t pull that, then maybe 26 yo wimmin.

heh. bad luck in cards. got dealt AA TWICE within 10 minutes (#1 best hand ever, you can wait HOURS to get it ONCE). I THINK it’s not a BAD idea to go All In when you get AA, or even KK or QQ. I ramp it up gradually to suck the people in rather than scare them away. finally get all in, have a nice 3000 chip pot, and then lose it all, TWICE, to some guy getting 3 of a kind or a full house or flush. lost 2000 chips that way, and now just lost 1000 more to the same guy because I was (understandably) frustrated.

heh. times like that i am glad I am not playing with real money!

even though I’ve STILL made more “money” in the past 2 months than I have made in 2 years at Muh Underjob!

I guess the Lesson Learned there, is leave the table, don’t buy back in, take a break, and go back to a lower stakes table if you really want to play more that day (I was at the second lowest stakes, not Bottom Barrel Lowest Stakes.)

But yeah. to lose a lot of money on the best possible hand is very frustrating, makes you reconsider Gambling As A Career Choice, makes even College and Internships start to look better! Because the Lesson Learned is, “Best Possible Hand” is a misnomer, because it depends on the f00king FLOP and community cards, which could make AA a sh1tty hand for you, and 2-7 unsuited a Winning hand for your opponent. because say they get 3 4 5 6 suited, heh heh heh. Bad Beats R Us.

And then of course, you can get BAD BEATS in Real Life too, even when you appear to have a great hand, and are wise to make a Big Bet. And then you get a Bad Beat: you get cancer or lose your job or your wife takes your kids and puts you in jail and your LIFE IS IN RUINS.

What makes a man LEbowski, what makes a success. Getting a job? Getting a mate? Getting a good job? getting a good mate? or just banging as many women as you can and having as many mates as possible and spreading your DNA as widely as possible? Don’t worry about SUPPORTING your children, leave that to the Taxpayers and Beta Males. The main goal is to have as many bastard kids as possible. Do kids REALLY need two loving parents? Heck No! We’re just animals! Some kids grow up just fine without two loving parents! While some kids a SCREWUPS even WITH two loving parents! It’s all a crapshoot! just get as many broads pregnant and LEAVE em! so your kids hate you, but at least you have 90000000 kids and they may hate you, but they can’t take your DNA out of them! So start knocking up women as soon as you hit puberty! they try to nail you with child support, you skip town and become a Deadbeat and try to knock up as many broads as possible before you inevitably go to Jail for your Antisocial, Sociopathic Behavior!

Is Morality Itself Inherently Beta? ABSOLUTELY!

Heh heh. All in moderation. Gotta have a balance of Alpha AND Beta traits. And I personally am a BIG fan of Morality, much moreso than I’m a fan of Betaness. I would aim to be a Moral Alpha if you can. Just don’t let people Walk All Over You.