nov 13 wed

If you’re reading really complex technical stuff like Math Lessons or Computer Science Lessons where they seem to be going fast and you know you should be groking it but you’re not, mind is wandering, then actually read it out loud, and also in a really gay, friendly, enthusiastic voice, like a gay actor, or like you’re telling a story to children, and you really understand the words. read it with a big gay SMILE on your face, like how you have to force yourself to smile when using your Phone Voice to a Superior or a Customer. Pretend the words really do mean something to you, and a little more will sink in that way than if you had a blatantly bad attitude. Remember, faking a good attitude is the same as Sincerely Trying to have a good attitude! One of more interesting paradoxes of life there, and one you can certainly use to your benefit. make stupid gestures as you read the paragraphs out loud, to try to force the meaning into your mind.

use the word “DEMONSTRABLY” in your next Job Job INterview.

since i am a visual thinker and need to see infographics and vidyas all the time, i like making gestures when reading the books as if I’m actually touching or holding the objects, like oh HERE is the EntityDataSource I’m holding in muh hand, and this DataBind() right here is how it connects to that over there (holding Object Oriented Object in other hand) etc

Read “Management For Dummies” and then Regurgitate terms from that. Buy it for .01 from amazon.

It’s all about SPEAKING A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. The Language of BusinessManagementLeadershipF4gs. Once you get comfrotable speaking in that language, you WILL start getting good at Interviews and get a Bigboy Fulltime Job Job.

ideally you would get SO COMFORTABLE with FAILURE and REJECTION that instead of letting it get you down, you just keep putting yourself out there day after day, never slowing down, Courting Failure and Rejection, Racking Up the Failures and Rejections, until one day somebody finally says yes. And if you hadn’t had those 90000000000000000000000 failures beforehand, you never woul dhave gotten to that one yes.

My problem is that after 10 failures or so, I just say f00k this shit and give up and stop trying. have given up and stopped trying for YEARS, and that is why I am “several” years behind muh peers right now.

had a dream about a grill who was never an official Number Girl like Girl 4 or Girl 7, although I think she could have been if I had spent more time with her, and I regret not doing so. And then I randomly SAW her a few months ago (she did not see me) and have sort of been thinking about her every now and then ever since. because she looked good for her age, heh. very good. plus she was a bridge back to muh youth. how far would I commute to have a long distance open rel with her, hahahahaha. no she could come to ME and sit on muh face. Actually wouldn’t mind cuddling with that one!

that’s what it all boils down to. b1tches calling you insecure because you don’t want to SHARE them with other men, but you’re not alpha/masculine enough for them to want to be “owned” by you and you alone. you’re not enough of a man!!!!

but isn’t “sharing” a grill better than not getting to have her at ALL? I guess, if it means you get access to her hot 18 year old bod. But it’s a very hard line to walk to keep your own dignity, which is the most important thing. You MUST be banging other women at the same time for this to work. So then she’s sharing YOU too. Give her a taste of her own medicine. See how she likes being Second Fiddle!!

So ideally you wouldn’t like the grill so much in the first place, that you would get butthurt about having to share her. You would say, oh yeah, go ahead, I don’t care if other dudes ream you, hahahahaha, don’t flatter yourself, it’s not like I was in love with you or wanted to MARRY you! I’ll be getting MY fair share of Outside Action too, baby!

If you ARE in luv with the grill and the only way you can have her is by Sharing Her……umm that’s a REAL sh1tty situation. The Worst. I would say use the opportunity to bang her HARD, and really do into severe damage control to make yourself as masculine as possible as fast as possible, because unless you turn things around and become more manly than her other man/men, you won’t even get the “privilege” of sharing her for much longer!

Nope I’m tired of being shared with you! So I’ll cut you out, and just ho myself out to other multiple guys. but NOT you!

hehhehehehe got off on a tangent there.  But that’s seriously what College Career Gurls are LIKE. Just AWFUL. BEWARE!!!! They are enough to turn you into a Woman-Hater, hahahaha.

Get yourself a nice Traditional, Conservative, and/or Religious Girl. I have been fond of Lutherans lately. Very Girl Scoutish, Nice, and Emotionally Stable, and Pure.

anyway that one girl I had the dream about wasn’t as bad as other College Career Gurls, I don’t think. She coulda been decent. But I will never know. Still it does NOT help to look her up on Facebook!!!!! So Don’t do that.

but wahhh waaaahhh i liked her more than I’ve ever liked a grill in 13 months, wahhhh wahhhhhh.

A boy and a girl sharing a drink, each with th...
A boy and a girl sharing a drink, each with their own straw in the bottle. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

heh you’d think this love hate, bipolar, all or nothing, pedestal or dumpster, attitude I have toward Women must come from Mommy Issues, but I don’t think I really have that! Not any more than average! Although I think I was rejected more by Grills than the Average Guy once I became interested in Grills, because I was Less Masculine than the Average Guy.

yeah it would be nice if dat grill could sit on muh face and then cuddle, but that is just a dream, only feeling that way cuz i had the dream LAST NIGHT, so it will all be MUCH BETTER tomorrow. patience.