nov 20 wed

still in shock. not even raging excited or happy. yesterday I was just exhausted and said f00k telling anybody, f00k crafting muh resignnation letter, imma just watch this hore movie and go to BED, and couldn’t even finish that, and was sound aslpee by 8 pm. NICE.

said I was gonna save all that till wed, would send out a resignation email to people by end of day wed. NOT LIKE I wasn’t giving Two Weeks Notice – more like THREE and a HALF weeks notice! I don’t think that can be frowned upon by anybody. Wrote a pretty good little letter too, very grateful and nice and thankful and non bridge burning, heh. It’s not like the people were BAD, the people were and are very nice and decent people. has gotten a little micromanagey lately due to new boss’s boss but doesn’t impugn the niceness of the people I work with. plus there is a lot of union drama, and health care law drama, budget drama, cuts cuts cuts for everyone and everything. Lean Times, grumbling. and I can’t possibly get the HOURS that a responsible bigboy wishes he could deserve.

heh will have to save that letter so I can use it again in two years when I resign from muh new job, hahahahahahaha.

i guess this is a logical Ending Point for this Blog, but I’m just getting STARTED here, baby. Now I hope to show You how, once you build up some MOmentum, you can then KEEP it going. So the next goal is to get with a Grill and tell you about that. Because muh new job is a Loser Job, it will prob not be an Attractive Grill, and thus I will complain about how godawful the Grill is, but you gotta do it, like EATING YOUR VEGGIES when you’re a kid and refuse to eat those goddam brussel sprouts.

anyway the whole job process only took 8 or 9 days, from first application to final hire.


nov 21 thurs

ok sent in muh “resignation” email yesterday afternoon with the plan to talk to the 2 people this monring. Must have said 100 Hail Marys while walking up. I can say 4 or 5 Hail Marys while doing a #1 in the bathroom. And went ahead and talked to both of those people and handled it pretty darn well if i do say so muhself, not to toot muh own horn. TOOT TOOT!

So I wrote a real nice and sympathetic letter saying sorry for making you have to find a new person, etc etc

 and the people were very nice when i talked to them in person. because they are very nice people THANK GOD! it has only been recently that somewhat external forces have been making the workplace a bit more stressful, and harder for people to be their nice selves, unfortunately.

*PROTIP: Say you would like to continue working there like once a month. Just to keep your hand in, not Burn Bridges. Might not be possible but won’t hurt to ASK.

* Also, if you haven’t gotten references from at least three people there, I mean Real LETTERS of reference you can save on your Drive and use FOREVER, DO IT NOW, you can always use that 1-2 years from now when you are trying to get out of your next job. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY LETTERS OF REFERENCE. MAGIC BULLET.

Anyway I fully intend to keep this blog going, I GOT to, because this is just the first step on a path. I still have a real bad attitude and see All Of Life as one big Many Headed HYDRA, with many Godawful Heads: Women, Jobs, Careers, College, College Career Cult, Internships, Marriage, Money, Debt, Cancer, Getting Older, Cars, Responsibilities, Trash Culture, Culture of Disposeability, Neetness, 30 Year Old Virgins, The Man Behind The Curtain, Boot Stamping On Your Face Forever, shall I go on, foreclosures, bankruptcy, gambling, drugs, alcohol, The Mainstream Media, Marxism, Young vs Old,  hahahahahahahaha.

So it’s a bretty weak argument for quitting the blog, because I am nowhere near being a Winner by ANY means. I just got a little good luck, and I want to keep it going. I suppose I won’t be an OFFICIAL winner until I have a Decent Career Job that is Stable and that is somewhat impressive to Intelligent MastersDegreeFags. And why do I need THEIR approval? Because their bullsh1t masters degree means they’re INTELLIGENT? Or their combination of the Masters Degree AND the commensurate good intelligent Career JOb they have, makes them a Winner, and I need the approval of Winners to BE a Winner????

At the same time, there are PLENTY of people who are Successful Impressive Career Job Winners with Masters Degrees who Aren’t “F4gs.” Heh. I don’t have a problem with say people who are 43 years old. 43 Might be my Favorite age for a Man. But I don’t like the people MY age because they are just starting to hit Mid Career Success, get married, have babies, really establish roots in their Succesful Grown Up Life, whereas I haven’t even STARTED this life yet. And I Gawk at 18 year old girls and say “OH YEAH. THAT’D BE FINE. YEP. OH YEAH.” I saw a 19 or 20 year old girl with short punky dykey hair, very nice pale skin, and ridiculously tight red pants that made her bulbous a55 look like a Tomato, they were so tight I’m not sure if they were tight pants or “leggings”, but that absolutely KILLED me. I wanted her to SOMF ALL DAY.

Yet being Way Older, AND a huge loser, I have no grounds to approach her. Meanwhile I saw some young men, no older than 19 or so, wearing Marines uniforms, no doubt On Leave for Thanksgiving, and was a little bit jealous, because they could easily pull Those Young Girls I have such Raging Lust for but can never have. Come on. Just one hour of Face Sitting would be just fine. And I thought Damn, I shoulda joined the Marines when I was their age, instead of becoming a Fat Old Loser who makes no more money than a 20 year old College Dropout.

Automatic Negative Thoughts! Very Destructive! Just Say No!

BUt that reminds me, here is one of my all time favourite Kids In the Hall Sketches:

Sweet Baby Jesus, they just don’t MAKE them like that anymore.

*Protip: watching that sketch WILL make you laff and put you in a better mood. Guaranteed. Use Liberally! Most Kids in the Hall is hilarious but this is best of the best right here. Wish I could figure out what that song is, cuz it SO belongs on a Commuting to Work Mix CD.

OK that’s all the old stuff for now. take care and show some appreciation for the loved ones in your life by buying them crimmus gifts. we have reached that age where it is ok to buy your male friends a chrimmus gift, as just a way of saying thank you, i appreciate you. again with my privilege!

And if you don’t have any friends, go to a Nerds Chrimmus Party and bring a whole bunch of beer and booze and snacks and food and get a few notecards with some stock Icebreakers and you WILL make new friends: Did ya do anything fun this weekend? Do you have any borthers or sisters? do you have any pets? any kids? How did you get into your job? How do you like your job? What’s your favorite tv show? what’s your favorite vidya game? have you traveled anywhere interesting? just don’t try to talk about politics or religion or race or judge people for dropping out of school. because school sucks, you’re a loser if you DON’T drop out, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING, although it is really only nov 21 as I post this. and the actual stuff I’m posting was written like nov 18. heh. gotta start doing one a days again.

But be thankful for anything good in yer life. Although I realize many people go home to be with their Dysfunctional Families at this time.

If your family is really as Dysfunctional as you think they are, yep that sucks, that’s a travesty, and you shouldn’t even go home for Thanksgiving. Hopefully you have been able to Move Beyond them so you’re not a Total F00kup in life and can hold down a job and maybe meet a nice decent mate and not Continue The Cycle.

anyway here’s the old stuff.

monday nov 18

I shudder to think that The College Career Cult, esp for example Unemployable, No-Account, No-Skills, Shiftless, Lazy 40 year old Male Military Veterans who Are Incapable of Passing Interviews for Minimum wage, Part Time, Substitute Jobs so they must go back to College to get a Degree because they learned and demonstrated nothing in the military, and so now they must get a DEGREE at COLLEGE to be employable….. and of course I’m being facetious because IMHO the jobs just aren’t there. Anyway, COLLEGE has become nothing more than a DISTRACTION, a Time-Occupier, to keep people from noticing the Real Issues of No Jobs, or the fact that Colleges do not train enough for the Actual Jobs Out There. By, for example, shutting down the Humanities and Social Sciences departments altogether and only offering STEM degrees. Or by taking more than 25 people per year into their Physical Therapy program, for example. So Hire more Physical Therapy Instructors.

So COLLEGE has become a BREAD AND CIRCUS, only without the Entertainment and Fun value, AND you have to go into Debt SLAVERY to finance it, AND if you don’t Outperform 90% of people there, you will get nothing out of it but a time and money waster, Especially if you’re an Older Person who’s Old and Might have Health Care Needs.

WHADDYA MEAN you want a FULL TIME job? That’s for Rich Bourge College Kids! Prole College Kids should only expect to work several simultaneous Part Time jobs for the rest of their Pathetic Prole Lives!

Heh. My motto is, if it’s gonna be a bread a circus to occupy the minds of the masses, at least let them ENJOY it, like fat slobs eating junk food and playing vidya and jerking off all day. That’s a LOT cheaper than COLLEGE. Smoking W33d all day for years is cheaper than College!

SUCH a crap shoot. For example, I hear stories that Biology and Chemistry Majors Can’t Get Jobs, that those are the Worst STEM degrees to get. However I Do Know Two Guys who got Chemistry Degrees and Got Good Jobs with Just A Bachelors Degree. But they went to Elite Schools. Not sure what their Extracurricular Situation was like: Internships, Research, GPA, Networking. They just seemed like Average Nice Guys though. I didn’t hate them for being “Tryhards”. Also I think they got their Jobs before 2008. Also they weren’t Neet Virgins, I think they banged actual Young QT’s, hahahahahahahahaha. Like dem excuses mang??

* Well, what if the LORD has given you a SIGN that HE wants you to get a Sociology Degree? Well, I would advise you not to argue with the LORD. I am all for using signs from the Lord. But just be aware that the LORD has directly you to a very risky venture with that one, had he expects you to do A LOT of the heavy lifting yourself. It would have been better for The Lord to give you a sign to major in Medical Docker or Nurse Practicioner or Physician Assistant or Physical Therapy or Computer Engineering or Math or Mechanical Engineering or Electrical Engineering.

nov 19

had interview today with job. good lord that is a big deal, lots of gravitas. Full Time Job, making Twice the money I’m making now, working respectable hours, not being a total loser. Heh although as far as Full Time Jobs Go, this is the Bottom of the Barrel and not the type of thing you Brag about to people with Career Jobs. Nope, this is a Job Job. The Parking Lot was full of Beaters. WElcome to the Real World. No I’m not judging the people driving Beaters because that could easily be me. I’M NEXT.

real weird how one of my first thoughts on actually having a real shot at a Full Time Job is to immediately Disqualify and Disparage it: “OH WELL it might be a fulltime job but it’s a LOSER fulltime job, a job for LOSERS, CERTAINLY not up to par with people your AGE, or ESPECIALLY people you went to UNIVERSITY with, who are now all dockers or lawyers or professors or entrepreneurs or directors of Nobel-Prize Winning NOnprofits or got Grad Degrees from HARVARD or OXFORD, and even when they pick stupid careers like ARTIST or JOURNALIST, they’re FAMOUS and SUCCESSFUL in those jobs. Type of people who would QUIT a Good-Paying JOb just because it was “Too Corporate.” heh heh.

(It really did not help my current situation of being a loser who compares himself to others, that I went to a Successful Person Elite Univ, filled with Winners, and even the Losers were 9000000000000000000x bigger winners than I am. I am quite literally the biggest f00king loser to have ever come from that school. And people who went to “Loser Univs” are also way bigger winners than me, because they’re normalfags who get their work done, network, intern, get useful degrees, don’t worry about others, etc.)

Or like, OH GOD, I can’t update my LInkedIn with THIS, or NOPE I can’t get back on Facebook with THIS.

Or, Oh goody, now I can start not being a virgin because I have a Full Time Job, which is the bare minimum for Pulling Women, but the only Women I could pull with such a LOSER, Low-Status Job is Hambeast Single Momz, Sperm-Burping Gutter Slutz, Hideous Mastodonz, over 35 year olds, etc. Thigh-Arms, Totally Unattractive Women that you couldn’t get it up for, in other words.

And then also a decent amount of OH GOD There will be too much talking in this job, how will I be able to handle it. I want to last at least one year So it doesn’t look like a “SHORT HOP” or someone who Gives Up when the Going Gets Tough. Not sure what the minimum there is, but it’s at LEAST one year. If not Two.

But I would be making like twice the money per year as I am now, so really I’m Twice as big a loser with my current loser underjob, than I would be with this other job.

At any rate, look at that FLOOD of Automatic Negative Thoughts that barged in when something REALLY GOOD Happened. That is VERY telling, VERY educational. WATCH AND LEARN.

I wonder if I also got that huge flood of ANTs (credit Dr Amen) when I had good stuff going on in Muh Luv Life for 2 minutes 9000000000 years ago. That fear and dread that the sh1t is gonna hit the fan REAL soon.

ANYWAY. this whole process has been happening SUPER fast. It was only 8 days ago that I first APPLIED for the job after hearing about it through a Real Life Person, which is muh Guardian Angel telling me, “Do This.”

A simple Resume submit, then calls from Corporate HR, then an Online Personality Test and Skills Test (which was pretty crappy but I knew how to Work It, and then the recruiter said I did REALLY GOOD on it. One of those things where you Lie about your Personality, hahahahah. My trick there was to not go to the extreme, like , “I am MUCH BETTER at conflict resolution than other people my age”, but rather a little bit, like “I am SOMEWHAT better.”

annnnd at 506pm I just got a call from the HR person saying that I could have the job. Whoa.


sorry if i stole that title from anyone, it was just a great search term that brought someone here. we should become Blogroll Buddies cuz we talk about the Same Stuff!

nov 14

well stayed up late till 11.30pm doing Muh “INDEPENDENT STUDY” “RESUME BUILDER” “RESUME SILVER” “HOMEWORK”, kinda humbling nuts and bolts computer stuff, I wonder how Univeristies actually teach Web Dev in a Full Time Accredited Curriculum. The good news is that this is up to date tech that is actually used right now, rather than them teaching you how to write Hello World to a Console in some Oldass Language that is never actually used.

although it is good to understand hello world and console progs and the basics of classes and all that…..just try to do it in a language that is actually used By Employed People, like uhhhh def Java. PHP.

149 pm

woooooohooooo parrrtaaaaaayyy. this might be my favourite hour of the week: got day off tomorrow, can sleep in, can stay up “late” and watch a movie tonight, could go do something fun tonight if i wanted, just finished my stressful progress report where I try to deflect from the fact that I’m not trying as hard as I should be on muh homework.

kinda nervous because I am actually more likely than Not Likely to get called in for An Interview for a Full Time Job, I mean things look really hopeful there. Like they could veyr possibly call TODAY, like RIGHT NOW. And I am famously bad at interviews, which is why I stopped trying.

Actually I wasn’t that HORRIBLE at interviews, I was about average, but because the competition was so tuff, I never got the job….But why would they want to hire a 45 year old with 20 more years of experience, and a masters degree, if companies hate old people, and old people cost more in health insurance????? what’s my excuse now? that I wasn’t YOUNG enough for such entry level jobs?

but it’s like joyce meyer sez. you do your part and let GOD do GOD. Let HIM do HIS part.

Of course I would incorporate the things I talk about here. but yeah fact is I have not done an Actual Interview during the entire time This Helping Losers blog has existed. Just been working at muh underjob as a fairly discouraged underemployed.

anyway just want to capture muh Gr8 mood at a very powerful time of week. got 5 hours of sleep when I like to get Einsteins 10. Meaning I could get 15 hours tonight if I wanted hahahaha. Go to bed at 5pm and wake up at 10am friday, hehehehe. totes skip muh cherished movie, or say i had a hot date, or wanted to go buy a suit or some silver, or go to the casino, or go volunteer at the soup kitchen, or go pound the pavement in muh suit and try to sell muhself for a job like a responsible nonloser with dignity.

fri nov 15

lemme look at muh search engine stats:

“to be a late twenties loser” – yes sir, i can assure you it is not fun, and it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. but if I didn’t believe it could be done, I wouldn’t be here.

“are you a loser if your working class” – no, your a loser if you write YOUR, hahahahaha. I got news for ya baby, working class is the new MIDDLE class, bubbelah. Consider yourself LUCKY if Your Working Class with a sweet Fulltime Working Class Job and you can afford to responsibly reproduce and afford to live in a neighborhood where your family won’t be terrorized by the REAL underclass.

Working Class Dog
Working Class Dog (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

this is what I mean when I say UPPER Working Class: you’re working full time, you’re a step above Working Poor, you can afford to Live, you might have a Bachelors Degree Job, you might now, but as the Bachelors Degree continues to be devalue, it’s really irrelevant anyway: The Bachelors Degree JOb IS the same as an Upper Working Class Job, at best.  You could be a Underemployed College Graduate Working 20 Hours A Week for $9 an hour!

So go do a 900000 page dissertation on Marx and postmodern intersectional power and try to figure that one out, college boy f4gg0t b1tch!

ok friday day off. yesterday watched a movie, had to drink a lot of coffee to stay up for that, but it was good, went to bed at like 10:30 pm, slept till about 10:30 am, very nice.  now just being lazy, listening to music/spotify, when a person with human dignity would be out pounding the pavement trying to carry his own weight.

They always ask where do you see yourself in 5 years. so you just give a bs answer, related to that company and their field: oh I want to get my MASTERS DEGREE in management with a concentration in (insert field) and follow a natural professional trajectory to a project manager or team leader position with this company.

NO, you don’t say you want to be living on a BEACH Gambling and buying Gold and sipping W33d Smoothies with a harem of 18 year old girl servants with the 222$ you make per day gambling!

All right I should at least do some CHORES and so should you, try to show some Gratitude for not being homeless and dying of cancer or morbid obesity. And I also hope you get to do a grill doggystyle soon that really makes you go HNNNNGGGGG.


nov 13 wed

If you’re reading really complex technical stuff like Math Lessons or Computer Science Lessons where they seem to be going fast and you know you should be groking it but you’re not, mind is wandering, then actually read it out loud, and also in a really gay, friendly, enthusiastic voice, like a gay actor, or like you’re telling a story to children, and you really understand the words. read it with a big gay SMILE on your face, like how you have to force yourself to smile when using your Phone Voice to a Superior or a Customer. Pretend the words really do mean something to you, and a little more will sink in that way than if you had a blatantly bad attitude. Remember, faking a good attitude is the same as Sincerely Trying to have a good attitude! One of more interesting paradoxes of life there, and one you can certainly use to your benefit. make stupid gestures as you read the paragraphs out loud, to try to force the meaning into your mind.

use the word “DEMONSTRABLY” in your next Job Job INterview.

since i am a visual thinker and need to see infographics and vidyas all the time, i like making gestures when reading the books as if I’m actually touching or holding the objects, like oh HERE is the EntityDataSource I’m holding in muh hand, and this DataBind() right here is how it connects to that over there (holding Object Oriented Object in other hand) etc

Read “Management For Dummies” and then Regurgitate terms from that. Buy it for .01 from amazon.

It’s all about SPEAKING A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. The Language of BusinessManagementLeadershipF4gs. Once you get comfrotable speaking in that language, you WILL start getting good at Interviews and get a Bigboy Fulltime Job Job.

ideally you would get SO COMFORTABLE with FAILURE and REJECTION that instead of letting it get you down, you just keep putting yourself out there day after day, never slowing down, Courting Failure and Rejection, Racking Up the Failures and Rejections, until one day somebody finally says yes. And if you hadn’t had those 90000000000000000000000 failures beforehand, you never woul dhave gotten to that one yes.

My problem is that after 10 failures or so, I just say f00k this shit and give up and stop trying. have given up and stopped trying for YEARS, and that is why I am “several” years behind muh peers right now.

had a dream about a grill who was never an official Number Girl like Girl 4 or Girl 7, although I think she could have been if I had spent more time with her, and I regret not doing so. And then I randomly SAW her a few months ago (she did not see me) and have sort of been thinking about her every now and then ever since. because she looked good for her age, heh. very good. plus she was a bridge back to muh youth. how far would I commute to have a long distance open rel with her, hahahahaha. no she could come to ME and sit on muh face. Actually wouldn’t mind cuddling with that one!

that’s what it all boils down to. b1tches calling you insecure because you don’t want to SHARE them with other men, but you’re not alpha/masculine enough for them to want to be “owned” by you and you alone. you’re not enough of a man!!!!

but isn’t “sharing” a grill better than not getting to have her at ALL? I guess, if it means you get access to her hot 18 year old bod. But it’s a very hard line to walk to keep your own dignity, which is the most important thing. You MUST be banging other women at the same time for this to work. So then she’s sharing YOU too. Give her a taste of her own medicine. See how she likes being Second Fiddle!!

So ideally you wouldn’t like the grill so much in the first place, that you would get butthurt about having to share her. You would say, oh yeah, go ahead, I don’t care if other dudes ream you, hahahahaha, don’t flatter yourself, it’s not like I was in love with you or wanted to MARRY you! I’ll be getting MY fair share of Outside Action too, baby!

If you ARE in luv with the grill and the only way you can have her is by Sharing Her……umm that’s a REAL sh1tty situation. The Worst. I would say use the opportunity to bang her HARD, and really do into severe damage control to make yourself as masculine as possible as fast as possible, because unless you turn things around and become more manly than her other man/men, you won’t even get the “privilege” of sharing her for much longer!

Nope I’m tired of being shared with you! So I’ll cut you out, and just ho myself out to other multiple guys. but NOT you!

hehhehehehe got off on a tangent there.  But that’s seriously what College Career Gurls are LIKE. Just AWFUL. BEWARE!!!! They are enough to turn you into a Woman-Hater, hahahaha.

Get yourself a nice Traditional, Conservative, and/or Religious Girl. I have been fond of Lutherans lately. Very Girl Scoutish, Nice, and Emotionally Stable, and Pure.

anyway that one girl I had the dream about wasn’t as bad as other College Career Gurls, I don’t think. She coulda been decent. But I will never know. Still it does NOT help to look her up on Facebook!!!!! So Don’t do that.

but wahhh waaaahhh i liked her more than I’ve ever liked a grill in 13 months, wahhhh wahhhhhh.

A boy and a girl sharing a drink, each with th...
A boy and a girl sharing a drink, each with their own straw in the bottle. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

heh you’d think this love hate, bipolar, all or nothing, pedestal or dumpster, attitude I have toward Women must come from Mommy Issues, but I don’t think I really have that! Not any more than average! Although I think I was rejected more by Grills than the Average Guy once I became interested in Grills, because I was Less Masculine than the Average Guy.

yeah it would be nice if dat grill could sit on muh face and then cuddle, but that is just a dream, only feeling that way cuz i had the dream LAST NIGHT, so it will all be MUCH BETTER tomorrow. patience.



I am certainly no Family Law Attorney in any state, so I cannot comment on the ins and outs of Common Law Marriage. It’s very possible your Common Law Wife could steal all your stuff after you’ve been Going Out for X years, even though you’re not legally married.  So be sure to check the Common Law Marriage laws in your state, and get a legal separation right before the due date. If she really LUVS you she’ll do this for you. doesn’t mean you actually have to get separated, just something that shows in the eyes of the law you’ve been separated for at least a little while. I dunno. Ain’t no Lawyer, just want you to be aware of Common Law Marriage Laws.  Because the Woman who’s stayed with you for 10 years while you’ve refused to Marry Her has her Common Law Clock ticking and will CLEAN YOU OUT at the stroke of midnight, hahahahaha.

Gold has gone up 1866% in the past 20 years. Silver has gone up 384% in the past 20 years. just wanted to remember that.

nov 13

I mean, Silver is stll pretty risky because it’s always up and down, some years it’s up, some years it’s down, i’m just saying that over the past 20 years it’s performed better than savings accounts, CD’s, probably most 401k’s, etc etc.

Heh.  I wouldn’t recommend you take ALL your gambling winnings and invest it in silver. Gold would actually be the better investment IMHO. Buy some silver, buy some gold, buy some land, have a little in your 401k, of course I am paranoid that The Gummint will eventually engineer a way to STEAL YOUR money that You’ve put into your 401k. The way they freeze people’s savings accounts in Argentina.

The Successful Master Entrepreneur has FAILED more times than the Beginner has even TRIED. So say Management/Entrepreneurship Motivational Gurus on the Internet. It really does sound good. Maybe it even is true in a number of cases. There are some people who are extraordinarily persistent and resilient and who bounce back from failure and rejection more quickly and easily than others.

I have been mixing ACV in with muh water bottle, prob stop doing that actually, very concerned about the constant bombardment of acid on muh teeth enamel.

Prob go back to choking it down all at once. some say 1 Tblspn AVC and 10 Tblsp water. ok.

and then of course rinse yer mouth out with water right after. some “doctors” say you’re supposed to buy their special xylthol gum which strengthens your tooth enamel against acid erosion.

had a resume problem recently, had a good lead on an interview, sent in the res where I KNEW for SURE it would be looked at by the manager. It looked fine in LIbreOffice which I use because Office Ain’t Free. When I looked at it in Regular Office, even thoguh I’d saved it as RegOffice file, one line was off re margins. You prevent this by ALWAYS SNEDING A PDF. hope this does not disqual me fer the job.

But About that, that was a Golden Parachute Guardian Angel Lead delivered to me by Social Network, where I was offered a Sweet Employee Referral. Like TRAINING or HIRING FROM WITHIN, I thought this was one of those Good Old Traditions that THey Just Don’t Do Anymore, to society’s downfall.

But no, THE LORD was watching out for me today, so I apply for it, send in a res, then get a request to send in the res directly to the manager, and what do I do, I send a DOC file with one line jacked up, instead of playing it safe and sending a PDF. Heh. My FEAR OF SUCCESS leading me to sabotage myself AGAIN.

GOT to get some serious work done tonight. meaning: NO ZOOM poker. only Nonzoom, where I play one hand a minute and do productive stuff the rest of the minute, hahaha.

I hated skool back when I was in High Skool, but I still managed to get it done well enough to get admitted to a Highly Selective University!

I didn’t hate it much Less; maybe I just had more energy and felt younger, which I def was. Also, I took for granted that a “Boring Cubicle Job” awaited at the end of it all. I WISH. Not sure where I got that fantasy from. The idea of the “Unemployable College Grad” or “College Barista” was not really around yet.

ANYWAY. It would be sweet to get that job because a. Full Time b. Huge Increase in Pay, like 50% Increase! c. rumors that More Than Full Time Is Available.

Though it is the type of Job Job my peers at the Highly Selective Univeristy would be ashamed to have, I would be thrilled to have it because it’s Full Time and pays 50% better and rumor is the manager is nice. good enough for me!

Mainly it’s just so you can tell people, strangers and family and women, that YES your job is FULL TIME, you’re not Underemployed PART TIME like an underachieving LOSER DEADBEAT who DOESN’T WANT TO WORK. You’re doing Your Share, Carrying Your Weight, Working FULL TIME.  That’s a VERY important distinction. doesn’t matter if you can still make more money Gambling. Then Gamble during your off time. Buy sh1ttonnes of SILVER and GOLD.

But yeah I have heard rumors of people choosing to work 80 or even 100 hours a week. And others who chose to work 40. Heh. I might try 100 for 1 month.

See, in the Old Days, I wouldn’t NEED Graduate School because I would eventually get promoted to Manager WITHOUT an MBA or a Masters of Management or Masters of Business INformation Systems because because could see by the way I walk and talk that I’m a SMART GUY and that would be enough. But DEM DAYS IS GONE.

So Now I REFUSE to get a Masters Degree unless someone makes it DAMN CLEAR that it is actually WORTH the time and money: psst, hey you, get this masters degree and I guarantee you’ll get this job which pays 100% more.

Ten Years Ago, companies would actually PAY FOR YOUR MASTERZ DEGREE!!!!!

now, you pay at LEAST 30k for a masterz degree where it’s a BIG QUESTION MARK as to whether it will make you back that 30 grand.  LET ALONE an INCREASE of money past the breakeven point. Esp considering the two years of time and stress and study that went into it. You gotta monetize that. That is valuable time you could have used to make thousands of dollars GAMBLING!!!!!!!!!!

f00king balllicking f4gg0ts. they can lick muh ballz and suck muh D. let THEM waste 50 grand on a mastez degree that gets them nowhere.



nov 11?

Had to lay down and take a powernap, My new thing is to say I’M JUST GONNA LAY DOWN FOR AN HOUR to meditate and rest because I just got done serving a bunch of customers which makes muh introversion flare up, and muh no energy as well. then that turns into an even longer nap and I feel much better afterwards…..although this makes it VERY hard to get homework/independent study done AND go to bed at 7pm.


Put that Factoid on your WALL and NEVER FORGET.

THEN I discovered THE WORST NEW GAMBLING DRUG EVER, it was like CRACK or METH of Problem Gambling……the “ZOOM” feature of PokerStars. I know they have it at Real Money Casino as well, prob any Casino worth its while with a focus on THNL/NLH (No LImit Holdem).

To explain it in actually clear terms, which is what GOD put me on this earth to do, to educate people: In NLH you FOLD at least 85% of the time, actually closer to 90% I’ve found. If you are a “newb.” You will get bored and antsy folding NINE out of every TEN hands and say, I just want to play a hand already, often leading you to play a crappy hand, or to overestimate your hand.


ZOOM NLH solves this problem by instantly whisking you away to a new table with new players and a new deal as soon as you fold. It is instantaneous. Fold, get whisked away, get dealt, fold, repeat until you finally get that good hand, then you don’t fold, and play it just like normal.

Playing at least 3 or 4 or 5 times the hands you would just sitting around waiting for the other people to finish the hand.

So there I was, couldn’t tear muhself away for at least 90 minutes. Even better, I started with 1000 chips (maximum) aka “dollars”, and left 90 minutes later with SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. aka “chips”, hahahaha. Which would be like a MONTH of “work” at least. Well, more like two months really! Aka gambling as a good career choice.

see, College Career Cult is a SCAM exactly because it’s Gambling Labeled as NonGambling. Gambling is NOT a Scam because it’s honest about calling itself What It Is: GAMBLING.

And you can make more money in 90 minutes than you can in 90 DAYS with a Masters Degree.

And 100k of Credit Card Debt due to Gambling might be easier to discharge thru Bankruptcy than 100k in Student Loan Debt!

My official position is, as soon as you become a PROBLEM Gambler, quit Gambling. Just like Problem drinking or drugs.

And then I couldn’t sleep thinking giddy thoughts of how a Real Life Casino might implement a version of ZOOM. Like get a little circle of 10 Tables? And then as soon as a person folds, have them move clockwise to the next table, until that table gets like 8 people for a new hand? It would be like musical chairs, always on your feet, but that’s okay. Just keep moving until you find a table that’s in the process of filling up.

The key is, you’d need at least 5 tables and 40 people or so….but that shouldn’t be THAT difficult right?? Not for a Real Casino! You ever BEEN to a Casino? They’re PACKED 24 hours a day! you go there at 3 am on Christmas and it’s packed with The Worst Of The Worst Gambling Degenerates, who have thrown away their FAMILIES for GAMBLING!!!!!

Anyway. It’s ENTIRELY LIKELY that I got Beginners Luck on ZOOM, Indeed, my 6000 Profit came from Two Big Pots where I did pretty risky all-ins, I very easily could have lost it all!

However I DO officially argue that if you’re just looking to make a Daily Quota of 222 Dollars, you could do that a lot quicker and easier than you could at the reg nonzoom tables. unless you play about 4 tables at once.

that’s the one thing that consistently amazes me: you could make a perfectly good living if you were to win ONE POT A DAY on LOW blinds , 1 & 2 dollars, and there a 222$ pot is….maybe a little above average, but certainly doable. Certainly on a 2&4 blind it would be closer to average!!

(Or does the Average Pot Size depend moar on the Maximum Table Buy-in than on the Blind Size?)

Anyway, my point is, there’s NO NEED to move beyond LOW STAKES to MAKE GAMBLING YOUR CAREER. Mid and High Stakes are for the greedy who WILL be cleaned out by their own greed and HUBRIS.


I learned there is also MICRO stakes, below Low Stakes, with a 1&2 CENT blinds.

WARNING: when I won all that money real fast on ZOOM, that was with 5&10 dollar blinds, which is much higher stakes than I like! (1000 dollar max buy in).

NOTE: not sure how they determine the blinds in ZOOM. I think it’s Totes At Random, but I did not get the impression that you were paying blinds any more than you would at a traditional table. Like 1 big blind every 8 hands or so.


nov 11

my new lifehack protip is to mix the 1-2 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in with muh 32 oz water bottle, so the water has a light flavor of gross apple. this way you’re getting a constant stream of ACV goodness whenever you sip your water, and it’s not all super duper acidy.

[WARNING: I later recant this. DON’T DO THIS. just choke it down in a less-diluted (but still diluted) form, and then rinse out your mouth thoroughly with water. This way you’re not eroding your teeth with every sip of acid water you drink. ]

Lately have been considering that the Alien Reptile Lizards who Rule The Universe put the Fluoride in our tap water to POISON us, so that maybe We should buy all our drinking water from the Store. 900000000000000000 bottles of bottled water, hehehehe. But they might add fluoride to that too.

am i against playing LIMIT holdem? absolutely not! You can really minimize your losses that way. The tradeoff is that you really minimize your wins too. However, if you are on a serious Cold Streak lately, it might be worthwhile to switch to limit just for the Mood Boost you get from not losing and losing and losing and losing. Losing your entire f00king stack, when you SHOULD be MAKING 222 chips on every 200 chip buy-in.

Also it wouldn’t be a bad idea to play moar CHESS. i guess you can gamble at it if you’re GOOD. Gamble at anything you’re GOOD at!

* the flickering lights and constantly moving images of TV will keep you awake longer than you need to be. I will sit there with the computer AND the TV on. So the other day I just turned the tv OFF, and even with the computer still on and me “gambling”, it made a big positive difference. I also read a book for 30 minutes before turning off the lites and officially going to bed. fell asleep pretty easy I think. So, new gameplan is to turn tv off at 5:30, turn computer off and start reading at 6:30, and then all lights off at 7pm, up at 5 am. NICE.

had a stressful experience with a customer. real lose lose situation. they were angry and i was angry. worse than angry. felt useless, impotent, omega, a failure, a loser. An Omega relegated to his omega position in life.

At times like this, just count to 100 and say Hail Marys. Say 7 Hail Marys, that’s like a Magic Spell, then you get the 7 Graces of Mary. If you’re a smug atheist, it’s time to COME TO JESUS. Atheists are SO stupid and annoying. Like to see them encounter a little hardship and failure in their lives instead of being huge winners making money and scoring mates. They should be thanking GOD for all that has been given to them on a silver platter!!!!

veterans day and more stories about unemployed vets, “having trouble explaining their skills and values, and nonmilitary employers having trouble understanding how military skill sets translate to the civilian world.”

WTF. I am a Nevermilitary, yet I understand full well the value vets bring: following orders, being thorough, attention to detail, pride in your work, being able to give orders when needed, working as a team, working as a leader, being cool under pressure, being punctual and responsible, carrying a 100 pound bag for 20 hours a day, excelling under pressure, dealing with stressful situations, etc etc etc. If I were an employer, I’d be hiring vets left and right. I’d hire vets over College Grads any day of the week.

So this is more fodder for My Own UFMLL Jobs Theory: The Jobs Just Aren’t There, all this business about The Econ Slowly Improving is Total Lies, and All these “JOBS” that get added are the sh1ttiest part-time minimum wage totally unskilled jobs.

Or “Substitutes.” Saw a sign on the school that said now accepting applications for substitute custodians. Wow. Maybe after a few years of doing that, the best of the best substitute custodians can MOVE UP TO PART TIME.

If People knew the Real Truth of the Bleak Jobs Situation, they’d be Dropping Out Of College and Rioting In The Streets!!!!!!

* I felt kinda sh1tty this morning until I took into account my love of Maps (of all things), then decided to look at a map and come up with a Clever New Scenic Route to drive home, through residential streets that I didn’t even know existed. Cuz driving thru neighborhoods without prepping can be frustrating. So you look at a map first to find the ones that aren’t dead ends or Non Thru Ways.

nov 12

interesting day yesterday. got the distinct feeeelzing that Muh Guardian Angel was watching out for me, as a Job Opening was referred to me thru Muh Social Network. Described as the type of thing where the Company was mainly seeking Referrals, rather than putting it out to So I said neat and used the person’s name as recommended and did the App which was very pleasantly surprisingly painless. Did not take 8 hours to prepare A Packet like this other time, but was over and done in under 8 MINUTES. WOW.

Anyway, when Your Guardian ANGEL is watching out for you like that, Pay It Back by actually Following Through, and try to do something nice for the person.

Tried going home on the New Scenic Route I described. it totally sucked balls. it was funny actually. It was about 900000000 times worse than expected. The first mile was actually a road through an apartment complex and was super narrow and filled with stupid speed bumps. The Coup De Grace was, at the end of the whole damn thing, there was a Keycard GATE. A gate to get in AND a gate to get out. So I had to turn around and drive all the way back through all the speed bumps again.

Since this was the first road in the sequence, it essentially destroyed the purpose of ever taking this route. But just for fun, just this once, I tried the second road in the sequence. it was straight and went all the way through to the next main road, but it was SO f00ked up re it being sh1tty quality, bumps and cracks and potholes and not smooth at ALL. destructive to the car to drive it every day.

The third road was by far the best, but still a little too bumpy for my liking.

The most important takehome lesson is that all this convinced me to take the #2 most relevant Main Road Route, which I never take. That it might be less congested with traffic later in the day and possibly have fewer lights. Or Not.