sunday, setp 29 2013, 155pm, day off, lets have a LIVE POST here for the first time in a long time. 1000 words tops just like the good old days.

Don’t mean to be narcissistic, this is more like a person standing up and sharing at the Lazy Losers Anonymous meeting. You hope others can learn from your experiences, or maybe YOU can learn from your experiences by Talking about them.

got the #BreakingBadMarathon going on here, 7 hours till the series finale, I’ll actually stay up late and watch the Talking Bad too. I think even if Walt Lives, Gilligan and Co will find a way to punish him, like he’s got nothing to live for: his family will die, or they won’t accept his money, etc, he’ll be doomed to wander the earth alone. or get arrested and die of cancer in prison alone. or shanked in prison. or shot to death 1000000 times by police, dea, nazis, AND his family all getting shots in. OR he dies AND they all die in a final shootout with him and his huge gun. any of those would be ok. just be sad to see prob The Best TV show Ever come to an end, they could have EASILY done one more season. Pretty exciting to be experiencing TV history, hehehehe.

But the point is, you should be experiencing some exciting history for yourself. One of my favorite bloggers sez, don’t get stuck in a Boring Life, go move to an Exciting City, so you can be around Energetic Exciting Young People, have an exciting social life and romantic life, maybe find a nice wife even.  (not that I recommend Legal Marriage, although I do support Monogamous Partnership and Having Lots of Children.)

Still thinking about my Love Vs Lust thing, and how the best Love is build from a foundation of Lust. Like you see the 18YOQT and IMMEDIATELY think HNNNNGGGGG!!!! I’d LOVE to have HER Sit On Muh Face ALL DAY! as opposed to, well, she’s a nice girl, and not even ugly, but I really DON’T want her to SOMF. That’s the struggle. If you get along with a Nice, Decent Woman, but you don’t have LUST for her, then why the hell SHOULDN’T you “cut your losses” and have Kids with her? ANd I do not have an answer for this.

Of course it is real hard to have children if you’re not making enough money!

Of course the solution is Multi-family, multi-generational, extended family houses. And I certainly don’t have a problem with THAT!

Is it more worthwhile to do something FUN, or to SLEEP, noting of course that sleep is INHERENTLY fun.

Like I was debating whether to NAP right NOW, or to watch #BreakingBadMarathon and do a little writing. Because I was having a kinda grim day and knew some writing might turn the ship around. So here I am.

How To Not Blow Off Your Friends

Well, I guess let them know the Price of Admission for You is that you never call, so they have to do all the calling, hahahahaha.

But Ideally you would push yourself to do a little MORE calling, and break your Bad Habit and replace it with a Good Habit.

Also let them know you are a Planner, and don’t mind planning something even a Week in Advance, rather than waiting till a couple days before a day and Seeing How You Both Feel.

Heh. I remember I was Courting A Grill and she refused to make plans with me because it wasn’t SPONTANEOUS enough. Heh. There were a couple Grills I Liked where it was a Bad Idea, a Bad Choice on my part. I should have told her to S my D right then and there, is that spontaneous enough. But I was desperate and In Love.

Anyway it’s perfectly ok to not like being spontaneous. It’s ok to think spontaneous sucks. And to want to make Solid Plans a week in advance. So what if you’re not in a Good Mood by the time the Day comes around. Put on your Damn Happy Face and try to enjoy the time with your Friend. do something nice for them like buy them dinner. Then neither of you will know or care that you’re in a bad mood. Unless you try to bring them down with your bad mood. Don’t do that!

And just go out for an hour or two, you don’t have to stay out partying all night, you can still be in bed by 9 or 10 o clock.

To get yourself to do Errands Better, force yourself to go to stores that are directly on the way to or from Underwork. For example, I stopped at the Supermarket Directly on the way home from Underwork, rather than go to my USUAL Supermarket, which is the complete opposite direction from Underwork. Even though this New Supermarket is a little more expensive. I considered that a “convenience charge” for being right on the way, and for getting me to actually Get The Errand Done.

* Buy a Big Bag of CANDY for yourself once in a while. something bite sized. Little chocolates or caramels or I myself am partial to Starbursts or Butterfingers or Nerds or Mike and Ike or Jolly Ranchers or Now and Later or Mambas or Sour Patch Kids

English: College student studies while eating ...
English: College student studies while eating Sour Patch Kids sour candies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

or Skittles.  Something like that. I say, Start Out With Starbursts.

Obviously don’t do this ALL THE TIME because you will get FAT and also all your TEETH will fall out from the godawful sugar and HFCS, which is HORRIBLE for you. I’m talking more like a few little candies to help you celebrate on your Day Off, not stuffing your face with candy and ice cream all day every day. Like on Saturday Night or something, when you would REALLY like to have an 18YOQT SOYF or even just go on a Romantic Date with some Making Out and Cuddling, but you’re too old, loser, and omega to pull an 18YOQT to make you go HNNNGGG. Then on a day like that, watch your movie and eat a little candy. or take yourself out the movie theatre like I said in a previous post and really spend some money on yourself, getting soda and popcorn.

* The American Education System is Designed to KILL a child’s Intellectual Curiosity, to make them Hate Learning and Hate Skool, and fail at skool, and become losers who just want to smoke weed and play vidya and eat junk food all day, and become welfare parasites, or unemployable or underemployed losers with no power of any kind. And this Curiosity-Killing doesn’t stop with High School! College is Just As Bad!

* So use Youtube and Problem Solving Books as opposed to reading your godawful textbooks or listening to your godawful instructors. Get the Powerful STEM degree, checking eveyr month on JObs Numbers and Employability of Majors, so you can switch to a More POwerful STEM degree if necessary.  If you don’t want to think about this too much, Electrical Engin + Math Double major should get you a good Lower Middle Class Job and Wife.

* So you see an 18YOQT at College or Church and think, god damn, that would have made ALL the difference in the world, to have an 18yoqt to cuddle and SOMF, then I would have been the world’s best student in the world’s usefullest degree, and gotten the best lower middle class job ever, and maybe eventually have married one of those 18yoqts when I was 23 and On Top Of The World.

And MAYBE that’s accurate. I cannot deny the power of a man’s lust for 18yoqt’s! Damn, I still get those thoughts whenever I see an 18yoqt and I go HNNNGG and want them to SOMF! I think how good would THAT be, I would put up with a LOT to have some of THAT, I would pay a LOT of dues.

So yeah. A Man’s Lust for 18yoqts is a very, very powerful Force of Nature. It’s no surprise that Real ETernal Monogamous love can be built on top of that, or successful careers, etc.

But if you DON’T have that, and of course you don’t, none of us omega losers has anything close to that, we pull SIngle Mom SeaCows or more likely nothing at all, because we don’t LIKE single mom seacows, we like 18yoqts, but we’re too omega and old and fat and loser to pull 18yoqts! vicious circle!

SO my response to that is, uhh go volunteer at the soup kitchen to see some people who really have it bad, and get your sleep, take it one day at a time, talk to a college counselor and tell them, listen, I just want something to get me an upper working class fulltime job as quickly as possible because I HATE SCHOOL, don’t eat too much wheat or corn syrup or corn or soybeans or processed food or fast food or carbs, get your omega 3’s, get a light box or get some sun, get some exercise, get 30 mins of exercise a day, even if it’s “just” a brisk walk, a brisk walk is better than sitting around watching tv , don’t watch too much tv, if you HAVE to watch tv, make sure it’s something GOOD like breaking bad or jeopardy, turn the sound off on the unholy commercials, give thanks to the lord, thank god if you have a decent family, beg god for strength and help and a miracle, move to a safe City like Pittsburgh or Fargo or Boise or Eugene and get the cheapest place you can and finally get some 18YOQT action, well, maybe more like 25YO semi-QT action, but that’s GOOD ENOUGH, try some apple cider vinegar, don’t deny your animal instincts, but don’t be a nihilistic decadent hedonist either, eat a little bit of candy once in a while, get some delicious comfort food for lunch/dinner once in a while, but realize it will be 900000000 times easier to pull 25 yo qt’s if you’re NOT FAT, Schedule something A Week In Advance with Old Friends and then buy them dinner to show you appreciate them, I guess maybe try a damn Temp Agency because anecdotale evidence proves they can get you jobs at good companies and some of those jobs can turn into full time things (not sure if the temp agency would still take their 30% Cut or whatever at THAT time), set up spreadsheets and use numbers to quantify your Moodz over the days, quantify what you feeeeeel before and after doing Godawful Chores and Errands, Do as many errands on your route directly to and/or from Work as possible, try to find an Enjoyable Way to Get Out In The World With People, try to find a way to Enjoy and have fun with people, I know that sounds mind-boggling, because people are annoying and you enjoy yourself the most when those annoying d!ckheads are NOT around, but I guess the point there is to find people that are fun to hang out with, because the Healthy Human does need that, think of a time in your life when you WERE more social (checking muh privilege because I appreciate than many of you NEVER had that!), spritz lysol in the crotch of your pants, use zappos.com to buy shoes as well as all sorts of other clothes from the comfort of home, good selection at decent prices, I really am quite impressed, and very well may take the plunge very soon, maybe save up and spend a little extra on GOOD shoes that will actually LAST a long time, rather than cheap pieces of chinese crap that fall apart in 1 year, don’t hate yourself if you’re a little racist once in a while, it’s natural and healthy for humans to be a little racist, it’s GOOD not bad like the godawful unholy tv sez, don’t watch too much tv, hell don’t watch ANY tv, perpare a personal Budget, look into Financial Investments like gold or land or oil, try your hand at farming and grow your own food and cook it and eat it and know that you literally made that from the ground up, all right, take care of yourselves and I will be back in a few days.



* Do your own readings of stuff. for example I came back to one of my favourite blogs after not reading it for a few months, and found a few New Classic articles they’d written since, along with Epic Comment Threads. I thought, gee, wouldn’t it be neat if they could have this discussion in Talk Radio format. and then I thought of doing a dramatic, passionate Reading of the original post, the comments, interspersed with my Own Commentary as someone who has an Informed Opinion on these writers and Their Opinions.

Because I prefer listening to speakers rather than reading words many times. Speakers really bring the words to life. I would do a Reading of All My Blogs if I didn’t care so much about muh anonymity.

mon 852 am sept 23 2013

ok. so, do a “mood monitor” for every day. make a spreadsheet or graph. put down the WORST you felt that day (1 thru 10), what TIME that was; and then the BEST you felt that day, what time THAT was; and then estimate an AVERAGE of your mood throughout the day.

This will give you a much clearer picture of Your Moods Throughout the day. you already know you have good times and bad times throughout the day. mood changes from horrible to slightly better at various times. but it can be tricky knowing when you can expect what.  But this way, if you start feeling real bad, you have more evidence with which to say, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, I’m just as my relative minimum for the day.

Even use a Free Spreadsheet to log it if you want, and make a nice Graph of the Function.

Spreadsheet might be best and easiest. Because I KNOW you probably wanna Analyze this Data, because it’s about as relevant to your own life as it gets.

Alternately: check your mood at certain times every day, like 3 times a day. When you get up, middle of your day, and right before bed. that might be a little tryhard though, and also you’re focusing in on times, rather than on Best and Worst Moods, and those I think are the important things to rememb.

Anyway, say you feeeeeeeeeel like ending it all, then you notice it’s X o clock, and now you know that there’s a pattern there, so you can say, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, especially if you tend to Feeeeeel happier a few hours after that.

LUST is a Building Block of Love. Sometimes we slowly build up some quite signif love on top of a base of lust. And there’s nothign wrong with that, indeed, now I’m thinking lust is NECESSARY fro True Love to develop. Last wimmin I was in LOVE with, there was DEFINITELY a REAL portion of LUST in there. I mean I wanted her to SOMF All Day, Every Day, Till The End Of Time. But because I saw her semi regularly, and liked her personality as well as her body, and decided I was going to Make An Effort to Court Her. and as this effort grew and time passed, so was the Love I Molding in with the Lust. So not only did I want her to SOMF, I wanted ONLY her to SOMF, and For Ever, and also to do Massive Cuddling, and Marrying, and Growing Old, and Babies, and Handholding, and Summer Weekends At The Lake Cottage, and Winters Cuddling, and Movie Night, and Date Night, and Making Out, etc.

But that chapter is closed, that too has passed, though I still think about her sometimes OBVIOUSLY. But Thank GOD I don’t actually have to SEE her, hopefully that last time (2 months ago??) was THE last time.

Anyway. Love Does Include Lust. Perhaps the Lust is the source of the Craziness/Insanity of Love.

Love and Lust
hehehehehe I saw this in the suggested pics and just HAD to (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So there’s a Woman I get along with Real Well and would prob be a good mother of my Chillunz, and a good Wife, however I have absolutely NO lust for her. However I would seriously consider Marriage and Children with her IF there were an agreement to get Muh Lust on Extramaritally. The gotcha is, what if one of those Extramartial Lusts turns into a True Love as with Girl7, ie becomes a wimmin I REALLY wanna WifeChilluns? Which Way is the Better way? WifeChilluns with a woman you get along with real well but No Lust, or, WifeChilluns with a Woman that’s The Whole Damn Package? Noting that with The Whole damn Package, it can be a lot harder to Get

* Force Yourself to Get Interested in Investment and Financial Planning so you can Save for the Long Term. Because if you’re Lucky Enough to have a JOb with a Pension, you prob won’t be Lucky Enough to actually GET that pension when you old, because the Plutocrats like it when you Die, and you have no legal protection against that. Your Pension is not guaranteed. The only thing that IS guaranteed is the Gold you bury in the backyard, assuming no-one steals that. pull a walter white with barrels of cash buried underground.

Put As Much Money as you can into your 401k if you have one. Real Good Employers will actually MATCH your contribution…….but that’s only if you’re a Top 2% Elite, went to HYPSM, and have a HYPSM Career Job, hahahaha, so, no need to even mention it here. If you had a decent job you wouldn’t BE a Loser!

If you

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10:24 am, tues, sept 24 2013


* take a few minutes to Make A Spreadsheet like I described above. I went and did this. It Worked like a magic bullet. I made one google spreadsheet book, with three sheets.

1: MoodMonitor: Day, Date, Lowest, TimeLowest, Highest, TimeHighest, Overall, Comments

2: DailySched:Day Mon thru Sun,, date, 12 am thru 11pm, 1 hour per line, essentially a daily calendar, but more anal than Google Calendar, or maybe not. where needed, split into half hours.

3: Achievements: Day, Date, Task, Duration in minutes, enjoyment, difficult, achievement, comments. This is when you force yourself to do Responsible Person chores, errands, and Responsibilities. the stuff you should do, but always procrast on because you’re a lazy loser. homework, jobsearch, exercise, shopping, errands, cleaning, appointments. basically the idea is, you dread doing the stuff and put it off, but if you FORCE yourself to do it, it’s usually NOT as painful as you expect, AND you get a HUGE sense of accomplishment from actually doing the thing, and THAT is the pleasure or enjoyment you’re looking for. It comes AFTER, and offsets the sense of dread before. This is how Good Habits are Built, doing this kinda stuff every day. So you turn it into a spreadsheet, so now you have Tangible Physical Measurements and Data to Convince your Diseased Brain.

So now I have that. kinda a work in progress, just crapped it out as fast as possible, you can’t be a perfectionist with these spreadsheets, just start them. like that 3rd one, still not sure the terms to use / variables to measure / etc.

and then if you have a smartphone like all the other jerkoff degenerates, you can easily update this from the comfort of your bed or lazy chair.

* protip: watch JEOPARDY every day if you can. there is some real feelgood medicine right there. get real competitive with the people on the telly. shout out the answers. call them f4gg0ts and racist slurs. if you have any friends, watch jeopardy with them and compete with them too. it is a shame to forget abotu and not watch jeopardy, because it will improve your life and health. and it’s frighteningly easy to FORGET it’s even there. don’t forget to pick up the $500 bill on the sidewalk right in front of you!!!

schedule it in your Daily Activity Schedule, every day at 7:30 pm!!

* When you take your Pants off at the end of a Long Day, try Spraying Lysol into the Crotch/Buttocks/Thighs region to Freshen them up for the next time you wear them. Because you probably have less pants than shirts, and prob wear pants more inbetween washings, plus if you have a lot of pants, then that sucks for doing laundry because 1 pants = like 3 shirts. So this is a great Workaround to Freshen the pants inbetween wearings.

* Also do the same thing with your Shoes at the end of the day. Just a tiny spritz to kill the smelly bacteria.

* Lookup “fake name generator”, lord that is fun! It also conveniently links to a Fake Email Generator for every Fake Name. I used it to sign up for OKCupid and Adult Friend Finder using ridiculous fake names. Because you gotta Sign Up in order to view profiles on these sites. Anyway AFF is for all intents and purposes a PAY site, you have to PAY to view people’s full profiles! So that sucks. And on OKC you have to upload a picture to look at other people’s pictures. i guess you could upload a fake picture, but that’s not a recommendation, they can prob ban you for that.

anyway the fake email is not secure, anyone can look at it, and it gets deleted every 24 hours. it is good enough for clicking on the confirmation email to prove you’re not a robot, though.

not sure if this will work for facebook, cuz I think they do some stupid sh1t like needing a phone number.

yep the site autogenerates a Username and Password for your fake “identity” too! REAL convenient and easy! just make sure you save them in your browser so you don’t forget.

fri, 1146am, sept 27 2013

day off, scheduled to do a “godawful chore” for 1 hour right now, but I might do that later, gotta post a post at least ONCE a week!

#BreakingBadMarathon hahahaha

Yes, the entire SERIES deserves to be watched twice. 120 hours of Television Watching. Three Whole Fulltime Job Work Weeks. Probably enough to justify putting on your Resume as an Unpaid Internship (remembering it takes One Thousand Hours of Unpaid Internship to Prove Your Worthy of an Entry Level Fulltime $12 an Hour Job (assuming you also have your Educational Credentials.)).

“CREDENTIALISM”, there’s a tag/subject I should be using more. I fully believe it that people of average intelligence (100 IQ, maybe even 90, way dumber than US, is what I’m saying, we Neet Lazy Losers are prob closer to the neighborhood of 120!) can LEARN how to do MOST jobs with a little bit of training and time.

Perfect example: you shouldn’t need a HOSPITALITY DEGREE to work at a HOTEL DESK. You never USED to need to! Because you don’t NEED 4 years of College to learn how to serve customers at a Desk! A Grade school Dropout could learn, given a little bit of training, and some Time to get him over the Learning Curve! But NOW we have HOSPITALITY degrees to prove you really WANT to work in a HOTEL for your career. CREDENTIALISM. Too many people, too few JOBS.


hehehe. I hear the h1 tags are good for the search engine.

Anyway. all the people might be right that Breaking Bad is the best show of all time. I have been Caught Up for quite a while and haven’t seen the older seasons in a LOOOONNNGGGG time, so those almost seem like a Different Show. Jane Dying, the first appearance of Gus Fring, Hank getting shot, the FLy in the lab episode, Walter first telling Skyler about his secret life, Skyler lying to Marie about the “gambling”, etc. Really complicated show, and things really do grow bit by bit. quite amazing. Walt seems so Innocent when he is a Small Time Meth Dealer, than what he is now. Walt really changes, while Jesse doesn’t seem to change as much, he always stays The Good Guy despite all the stuff that happens to him. He gets Crippling Depressed and Moody and Shuts Down, but IMHO he always stays the good guy.

And it’s fun watching older episodes even when you know where it’s all gonna end up. can’t say that for most movies or shows. so yeah. quite amazing. watch it. twice. guaranteed 120 hours of fun that will Uplift You.  Much better than Game Of Thrones, which is Depraved, Violent, Immoral, Degenerate Filth.

Heck. Over your lifetime, you might even be able to watch it THREE times.  For example, how does Jesse go from Jane to Andrea so quickly, is he just “transfering”, is it for real, but more importantly, why do we believe it’s real?

And let me emphasize how HILARIOUS the show it. Especially in the older seasons, before it got Super Serious and Major People started Dying. Not just Hilarious, but Better Written, More Hilarious, Funny Comedy than The Average Comedy Show! So, truly Superior Laffs! TOP Lel!!

ok. perfect example of something important. I shceduled the “godawful chore” for ONE measly hour, that I would go to the store and buy SHOES as QUICKLY as possible, the whole idea was to do it all, back and forth, buying the shoes, as FAST as f00king possible, so that the WHOLE task, driving and all, would take less than one hour. I still might do this later today. And then write it down in that Spreadsheet under the Achievements page. I know there would be:

A HUGE sense of satisfaction

it wouldn’t be AS BAD as I’ve built it up to be

The huge sense of Accomplishment would even outweigh what I’ve built it up to be in my Worst Nightmare!

Not to be narcissistic me me me me I I I I. I want you to apply these situations to yourself too, since I know you’ve prob faced the exact same thing.

If you’re looking for a few more hours of Nondrug fun, check out the Deep Web for a while. There is some RIDICULOUS stuff there. I shouldn’t say nondrug per se, because many people use it to buy lotsa drugs. But other ridiculous stuff: there’s this thing where you can buy a HIT MAN for $10,000 USD per Hit. Heh. Makes you think about the Value Of Human Life. They do say, no people under 16, and no “Top Ten” politicians.  (NOTE: I AM MORALLY AGAINST AND DO NOT RECOMMEND MURDER OR PUTTING OUT HITS!)

Or buying Counterfeit Money. 100000 dollars worth of 50 dollar bills for 5000, hehehe. Now, passing counterfeit bills is certainly not as morally bad as MURDER, though I still don’t recommend it!!! If you get really desperate though, it might be a good last resort. heh. probably less morally reprehensible than welfare, hahahaha.

but yeah. like breaking bad, the deep web is a really FUN and INTERESTING thing that will get you out of your own head for a while. Just don’t do anything illegal or immoral! I Officially Recommend that you NOT do anything illegal or immoral on the Deep Web!

ok. get shoes. some real people really swear by zappos.com. that might be worth a try.

Edit/Update: ok i am looking at zappos for the first time, and i am actually impressed. not bad. might actually take the plunge. seem like better shoes than they have elsewhere. almost too many choices though. def worth looking at.  $50 and under OF COURSE.  hope there is a fool proof way of measuring your own foot.

if you do a lot of walking, get some bare bones “walking” shoes and add some fancy dr scholls inserts to them.

for underemployment, get the cheapest shoes you can that look nice, then add fancy inserts to them.

all right, take care of yourselves, DON’t K yourselves, It Gets Better, hehehehe, no but it really can, just do your spreadsheets, don’t marry, stay in skool, hahahaha, being a Secretary involves so much more Skill & Education than it did 40 years ago, hahahaha, tell your family and friends you Just Don’t INterview Well, get some new clothes, but don’t spend more than One Hour, go out and buy One piece of new clothing As QUICKLY as you possibly can and tell me you don’t feeeeeeeeeeeel haaaaaaaaaaaaappier.



Unemployment rates for states. Good Old ND at the top as I thought. But what OTHER states are good? SD. Nebraska. NOICE. Quite a surprising list though. Look at the bottom. Illinois? North carolina?? I thought these states were GOOD.

mond 9 16 623pm

switching times. weird, weird day. had the very rare chance to sleep in as long as humanly possible, which only happens a couple times a year, and this time I slept till about 3 pm, (checking muh privilege), even while going to bed the previous night at 11pm. sixteen hours of sleep. and i haven’t been particularly sleep deprived lately! however I felt absolutely euphoric after all that sleep, got a weird drug like feeling.

there was a fun erotic or romantic part in the dream as well. I was with a young 18yoqt and we both liked each other and I was teasing her a little like Lovers Do, and we were just at a gas station midway through a long drive to go up to a Lake House or something for a Fun Long Weekend For Lovers. Sun, Summer, Swimming, and certainly some Fun Nights to be had. Unfort the dream did not get into any of that, just the implication.

then the dreams got weird, shifted to a completely diff episode, and the girl was gone. damn. something weird like I was slowly being poisoned and turned into a mutant and going crazy from chernobyl-like nuclear radiation.

but the other one was real nice. heh. would be nice to experience that feel, hahahahaha. I am greedy for that feel.

would it be the same with a 30yo as with an 18yo? not sure. I don’t get as excited about the thought, that’s for sure!!!


tues 9-17 809pm

getting used to this docs. (official switching to google docs and saying f00k you to gmail drafts)

Is Pure MATH a good major?

Probably Yes. Math is probably the most important thing in the world. It underpins everything. It’s like philosophy. IF you can understand advanced math, you can understand anything and everything. All science comes out of math. Math should be the FIRST thing you learn. Don’t learn science until you learn math.  Big Government Should Make A Law that All College Students Should Take: Calc 1 AND Calc2 AND Calc 3 AND Linear Algebra AND Finite Math AND DiffEQ AND DiffEQ 2 AND Stats 1 AND Stats 2. And THAT would WEED a lot of people out, do them a favour really.

was watching this semi ridic PBS docu called “God In America”. Kinda ridic and self-important, but also fun, I had never heard of this Briggs guy who started a lot of “modernizing” movement re Evangelical Protestants in the late 1800s, and there was then now Fundamentalists Vs MOdernizers, COnservatives vs LIberals. Now, I’m usu quite CONSERVATIVE, but I had to side with Briggs on this one, I don’t think Darwin or Science is any THREAT to religion and god, that Science and Religion can WORK TOGETHER to Shine LIght on each other, I share Briggs’s optimism. And while WJ Bryan was a charismatic guy and I like his Conservative Populism, and this Clarence Darrow was a little sneaky sleazebag, I ain’t no Fundamentalist. It was disappointing seeing christians fighting against each other over SCIENCE, when they COULD have been learning MATH. Even Fundamentalist Christians are allowed to take all those MATH courses!

And of course I was asking about the Catholic Immigrants from say Italy and Poland and Ireland, who were viewed with horrible disdain. But the show never discussed, just showed a bunch of city factory workers with dirt on their faces and calling them immigrants. missed opportunity.

But just to be on the safe side, I would major in Something Engineering, with a Minor in Math.

thurs 9 18

I MEAN double Major in An Engineering AND Math. Yes.

Have Paid Internships going all the way back to HIGH SCHOOL. At the VERY LEAST, Summer 1 of College. How about Summer 0 : Summer Between High School and College. Yeah. don’t want employers to think you are one of those bad college students and not a good college student.

Heh. I agree with Will Smith’s talentless son that the world would be a better place if everyone dropped out of school. Educational Institutions do not help the world, they hurt the world.

Education and Learning is for f4gg0ts, hahahaha. No, not really. but it can be hard to get your brain to work when you’re lazy and tired and old. have i said this already? but if your master strong solid employable skills, you will make money and be a winner in life and have a good job and make good money and attract good mates and afford to keep your loved ones safe from disease and violence.

Sometimes someone who looks and acts really dumb and annoying and you want to punch them in the face, turns out to be really smart and successful, a unstoppable top 1% College Student who is going to Medical Doctor Skool or Law Skool. And that, if anything, makes the situation even worse! Because you wanted them to be a big LOSER to match how annoying they are, not a big WINNER!!!

See here some classic Rumination which Dr Steve (Ilardi) sez you and me must STOP. Just cut it out. Pull The Plug. Play some games, rearragne the Queue, drink some water, get up and do pressups or situps or crunches or Capoeira or Wing Chun or prayers. Dr Steve suggests doing a Shared Activity with a Fran, if you have one. I guess the key is to stop the cycle of negative thoughts, true as they may be, and get out and do something. Go to Burlington Coat Factory and buy a suit for jobz interviewz.

thurs 9 19 740 am

holy smokes. dat feel when you close one day then opent he next day at yer underjob. actually not a horrible feel if you don’t ahve to do anything precision or stressful.

however, very likely I got less than 4 hours sleep. for a guy that likes at LEAST 9…

but was in good spirits, listened to a very grim, bleak, dreary, sorrowful, despairing song on repeat at least 5 times on the way over, it was bretty hilarious.

* If you have a Useless Degree and are 100k In Debt, then just leave your college degree OFF your resume to prove that You Don’t Think You’re Overqualified for a job that doesn’t “require” a college degree. Pretend you never graduated College and pretend you’re not 200k in debt!

* If it was a Name School, maybe put the Name on there, but imply you did not graduate.

* what a scam, amirite? yep. but one day you will be making good money and mating with good (young, qt) wimmin, then you won’t care about the scam you went through in the past.

* your wife b(_)rp5 5p3rm all over her t!t5


how to ruby on rails

how to calc 3

how to $12 an hour

how to good wief

friday sept 20 2013 1137 am

* So, live at home, go to Loser Community College, and take ALL the (harder) math classes they have. When you Babby Boomer Mom complains about you not wanting to grow up, show her the f00king ridiculous math problems you’re doing and say, “LOOK FAMILIAR? NO? THEN IN TODAYS WORLD, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO MAKE $12 AN HOUR. YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. BE THANKFUL YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB, BECAUSE WITH YOUR NONEXISTENT SKILL SET IN 2013, YOU WOULDN’T.  I HAVE TO BE A SUPERGENIUS SUPERSCIENTIST TO GET THE  SAME KIND OF JOB YOU HAD TO BE A COMPLETE IDIOT TO GET 30 YEARS AGO. YOU WOULDN’T SURVIVE A DAY IN 2013. BESIDES, COLLEGE COSTS 900000000000 TIMES MORE THAN IT DID FOR YOU, AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY ONE DAY. OH WAIT, YOU DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE???” and then go back to your Math Homework while she goes back to Celebrity and Reality Television, hehehehehehe.

* Do Manny Internships, Heck focus on internships ABOVE Classes, they’re prob more important anyway.

* NEVER take a class unless you have the CASH to pay for it ALL UP FRONT.  NO credit cards, and ABSOLUTELY NO LOANS. NO CASH, NO CLASS. So It takes you 10 years to graduate college. BIG DEAL. Less Classes, Moar Internships. Internships don’t COST anything anyway. Except the money they’re not paying you for working, hahahahaha. f4gg0ts. so whaddya do, you gotta f4g the f4gg0ts right back.

* Don’t Ruminate On Your Past Failures, Go Out and do something fun (nondrugs) with your friends if you have any.


sept 12 thurs
wow lost like 5000 words of 10 movie reviews, including a very important one. was gonna start muh Movie Blog with them. f00k google.

ALL BECAUSE the button to restore the stupid compose window, you click that, then your cursor is left hovering over the DISCARD FOREVER button, so if you accidentally click twice, GONE FOREVER. then you panic and click back and don’t even see the “undo discard” link that appears on that screen only once, and never after you click back or anywhere.

and the draft just needs to go to the trash, so you can restore it. but it doesn’t. people have been having this problem for over 7 YEARS.

i know I’ve done it once before. only once, believe it or not.

can’t believe i’m not more ANGRY. there was like 16 hours of WORK there.

and yet I’m typing again into a draft.

but not a movie review!!!

1144am fri sept 13 2013

PROTIP: DON’T USE GMAIL DRAFTS. THEY SUCK DICKS. I hate to be a whiner, but you’d think after 7 years and many Customers Complaining, they’d implement that Simple Fix.


Or some other App that you can easily open, easily type, easily autosave, and can never delete.

Rule 1 of Design sez, never permanently delete something without putting a huge f00king alert in the middle of the screen that you MUST click ok.

The HYPSM Top 1% Supergenius Elite Tryhards who WORK their CAREER JOBS at GOOGLE HAVE to know this, if I do.

Heh. was watching “Girl Code” and they made the distinction between a




Modern Women tend towards the glib, cutesy, and stupid, but this time they stumbled upon a solid gold truth, or at least a genuinely clever way of describing something truthful, accurate, and important. An important Employment and LIfe issue I talk about all the time, hahahaha.

the interesting thing is, where I had never said “Career Jobs” but just “Career”, as if Careers and Jobs were different, with “Career JObs”, there’s the implication that Career Women recognize that a Career is indeed still “just” a JOB. Which is really is.

What I would call a Upper Working Class Job, Lower MIddle Class Job, or the VAUNTED Upper Lower Middle Class Job. And you won’t get a Middle Middle Class Job like at Google unless you went to HYPSM.

Not that I use “Girl Code” as an Accurate Representation of Reality! It’s just a entertaining but degenerate TV SHOW. You gotta go Out In The Real World to get a more accurate rep of reality.

But I find the stuff Captured in Girl Code does indeed accurately Capture some of the view of some Modern Women that I and increasingly numbers of Men find bretty annoying and Not Worth It and makes you Not A Fan of Women.

Not A Big Deal. Just work on developing your own career job, and have Nonperverted, Nondegenerate Threesomes with 18yoqtz. No Prolapse Parties!!

If you are fortunate and lucky enough to have good friends that you have known longer than 50% of your life, then be grateful with them and try to spend time with them regularly, assuming they are not too much of a winner to hang out with Losers Like Us, or keep Losers like Us away from their Wives and Growing Families and Careers!

I did this recently and it improved my Negative Nancy mood significantly. And there was nothing fancy about it, no Big Plans! Simply Eating Pizza, Watching Jeopardy, playing Vidya Gayms, making Jokes.

It was like a small miracle from God. The person needed to Buy Some Clothes, not an unusual situation for Normalfags, and they are probably more of a Normalfag than I, or at least somehow have the energy to drag themselves out of bed and occasionally do Normalfag things like run the Normal Normalfag Errands of Life like Clothes Shopping, so I said, “Yep, that would be OUTSTANDING, I really need to do some of that myself too, I have been trying to do that for the last 3 months!”

So we went to Burlington Coat Factory and they bought their clothes and I found a very nice shirt for a decent price.

Did not take much time or energy at all. I think incorporating it with the Friend Visit really facilitated the Shopping Errand.

Like I say, A Miracle from God.

It was a pretty good day, so I HAD to write about it. Many lessons learned, good for sharing, good for uplifting our desperate community!

Also made a fresh Classic Mix CD for the first time in 3 months. Should probably be doing this every TWO months!! Again, this should be composed of some of your All Time Favourite SOngs, especially those you’ve been listening to recently. Then put the date on the CD, cut it down to 74 minutes, figure out an ok order, but don’t kill yourself. Follow your gut, cut some songs to get down to 74 min, shuffle the order till it makes some kind of sense, but don’t TRY TOO HARD, don’t take more than 10 minutes doing that. Even if it’s not perfect, it will still have a lot of Sweet songs that you can listen to in the car or wherever.

for example, here’s a good song for me, maybe for you, haven’t had a good Song O The Post in a long time:

Heavy Epic Doom Metal with Chillass Spinechilling Keyboardz

Metal Band playing a Chill Classic Rock version of one of their Metal Hits

getting real exhbitionist today, if that gives my identity away to you, please do not expose me all over 4chan and the internet. f0000000000k me.

If you really need to buy clothes, and if you’re like me, you probably do, because you just LOOK like a NEET NIceguy Virgin with your CLOTHES, then you can get affordable new clothes at Burlington Coat Factory. The place was even better than Kohl’s, although if you’re feeling really extravagant and energetic, you can try Kohl’s too, it’s always a good Standby. But Burlington might become my new standby because it might be Cheaper.  And they also have SHOES.

I am fully Sensitive to the fact that you might not be able to AFFORD to buy new clothes and thus would have to go to the Salvation army or Thrift Store. That is fine. The lesson there is, try to go to DIFFERENT thrift stores, because if you go to the same one all the time, you can get burned out on their increasingly sh1tty selection.

However if you get Neetbux or Autismbux or LazyLoserBux from the gummint (Social Security Disability), then you prob make more money than some poor schmuck like me working an underjob, hahahaha.

I also realize that it can be harder than you think to get SSI money. A lot of Hard Work, really, hehehehe.

* here’s the other clothes related protip. I was orig planning on finally biting the bullet and going to kohls on my day off. my New Magic Bullet Plan was: even though I need EVERYTHING, shoes, pants, shirts, suits, EVERYTHING, and I have said before, Slow On The Uptake people like Mee need at LEAST TWO hours to do ANY kind of task, my new plan to Get Moving was to say, f00k this two hours, f00k buying EVERYTHING, I am gonna try going to Kohls for no more than 30 MINUTES. Get in and get out as FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Even if it means not trying on the thing. Just run in, grab ONE THING that sticks out, and GET THE F OUT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

So that way, I have at least ONE new clothes item, Proved to self that Yes I Can Go Shopping, AND it would take WAY less than TWO HOURS.

I plan to try that move Next Time I Go Shopping.

* But the equally Important Lesson is, if you have a Good Friend who wants to go shopping, then try to get in on that, because it makes it 900000000000000000 EASIER.

Yes I am Sensitive to the fact that 100% of Neet Losers DON’T have Friends like this, in fact that is a large part of what MAKES them Neets or Wizards or v9ks. Heh. This is why I’ve said before and i’ll say again that I am grateful to not be a true wizard or v9k. Prob I am even more Normalfag than r9kz. But I sure as hell aint no full blown normalfag. But I am normalfag enough to have a small number of Good Friends, THANK GOD.

* Starting to get cooler outside, darker in the morning, football weather, beautiful crisp fall weather, leaves turning, etc. Great weather for Cuddling With Your 18yoqt awkward autist introvert Waifu amirite, hahahahaha. Yes, beautiful autumn season but you know DAMN WELL what’s coming up, so go to amazon and buy a goddam LIGHT BOX so you’re finally READY for this winter.


* I have been blowing off a request by a Old Friend to get back in touch with him, maybe you have done things like this too. It is from a period of my life I would prefer to erase, the time I’m paying The Karmic Debt for now, because of my own idiotic choices and mistakes. No reflection on the people I knew back then, the PEOPLE were GREAT, so that leads to hella conflict and ambivalence now, keeping in touch. Whereas some of Us can safely cut the ties altogether, because the people were crappy criminal burnouts and betrayers and losers and whatnot. But not in my case, so it’s Really Interesting.

So I WANT to respond to him, and I know I should, I just keep putting it off. So I’m gonna try to do it today, like 2 weeks after the request, better late than never. My secret method is that I will be QUICK and FAST and Nonperfectionist about it. Will take no more than 10 minutes. One paragraph. Be like, Hi, How Ya Doin, THANKS for asking about me, here’s my EMAIL, send me an email telling me whats up, and that way I will have your email too, hope all is well, I always thought you were/are a great guy.





849 pm wed sept 4 2013

well, shoulda been lights out 1 hour and 49 minutes ago, i am gonna pay for this tomorrow!

but the time was spent constructively, googling
“how to live in a van”

nice stuff there.

the HuffPo and Willamette Weekly articles both forgot to Check Their Marxist Privilege, hahahaha, You’d think they would take the Egalitarian, Antiplutocratic Ethos of Vandwelling more seriously, rather than some Hipster Experiment.

then remembered PROF STEVE ILARDI said something about laptop puters being blueshifted or being Too Bright, even more than Television Screens, so looking at your Laptop at night will hurt your sleep. So you can download a PRogram than Redshifts it, and makes it easier on your eyes, and hopefully gives you better sleep. I quickly found this program called f.lux which installed in 2 seconds, detects what time it is where you are, and automatically shifts the red up depending how much past sunset it is. Since I had sunset about 50 minutes ago, it went pretty quickly into the red.

not bad, really quite neat actually, I recommend it. unless it is spyware telling the nsa that I have cp on my computere or sommat, hahahaha. but they seem like open source hippies.

thurs pm

The redshift Seemed immediately easier on the eyes. Not Bad!

* Protip: Experiment with Fun Computer Programs like that. Also see Linux. Wouldn’t mind becoming a Linux Professional one day, especially if it resulted in a Sweet Fulltime Job with Benefits Like Your Parents could get the day they Graduated High School.

Of course, arguments between Linux Geeks are real stupid. But at least these Wizard Virgins have compelling enough hobbies to a. make them employable b. distract them from being wizard virgins.

Plus I swear it (all linuxes) run faster and better than windows, hahahaha.

I’m just happy if it doesn’t crash every 5 minutes like my old computer. but that was because of a BAD MOTHERBOARD. Protip: if your computer crashes every 5 minutes, and you’ve tried linux and windows, and reinstalled windows, reformatted hard drive, then it’s probably a BAD MOTHERBOARD.

Now pay me $9.

YEPPERS, It all boils down to: do you want to GROW UP, have a Good Work Ethic, do you WANT to WORK, will you just GROW UP and be an ADULT, take RESPONSIBILITY, take PRIDE in your WORK, stop SCREWING AROUND, have some AMBITION, have some DIRECTION, want to BE something, stop screwing around, too OLD to be acting this way, take something SERIOUSLY, pay your DUES, go to SKOOL and get TRAINED in a SKILL so you can make a LIVING, really UNDERSTAND the value of a DOLLAR, WORK for your money, not have everything HANDED to you like a Trust Fund Baby or a Welfare Queen. Jesuschrist you’re 26 years old already, you’re THIRTY years old already, the man’s 40 years old and never had a substantial JOB, you can totes see the theme I am Developing here.

“SOMF” = Sit On Muh Face. Oh Yeah that 18YOQT can TOTES SOMF. She can Somf too, ok, she can somf too, she’s 18, prob wouldn’t be able to somf in 10 years, but she’s 18, so what the hey, all 18yos can somf.

Heh. Just get COMFORTABLE with the LIE that you “HAVE ABOUT ONE YEAR TO GO on Muh CompSci / ElecEngin degree.”

Because you’re looked at as a Leper by Respectable Society if you say you’re Taking A Break From College. NonBurnouts see you as a Trashy Burnout. Lump you in with the JUGGALOS. Not that it MATTERS what people think, however it DOES matter when Most of your Acquaintances are WINNERS vs most of your acquaintances are Drugged Up Burnout JUGGALOS. COME ON.

So just LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, and LIE some more.

It’s fine because it’s not REALLY an important thing to lie about, like oh yeah honey I LOVE you or YES the baby’s yours, etc. It’s just small talk on something stupid that’s really none of those stupid son of a bitches business anyway. So Just LIE about it.

like the guy who wrote the wilamette weekly article about Why I Am Going To Live in a Van. He starts the article with how he was a loser, working at the coffeeshop after Graduation, sees his Successful peers passing him by, he stops being the “charismatic quaint underemployed young at heart dude” to being “the sad bitter pathetic too old for this useless degree service industry lifer”, and so he decided to quit his deadend job and go live in a van in portland.

and then there was a comment: oh i bet the author’s parents are real proud of their son, they paid for his college so he can be a huge loser, if he were a responsible person and paid for his own college and took out huge loans like responsible people, then he wouldn’t be screwing around in this screwoff job, he’d have to get a PROPER job FAST to start paying off his huge loan, not be paid to Navel Gaze About The Meaning Of It All, Maaaaaaan.

Responsible Adults don’t have that LUXURY!

But lemme make clear that I’m prob MORE on the author (Pete’s) side than against.  Although his Naivete and Privilege is a bit embarrassing. I could tell a similar story, but I WOULDN’T, because it’s like laying a weakass hand out on the table, so you better fold instead.

I’m kinda telling that LAME, STUPID, WEAK story right NOW, only I would NEVER tell it under my REAL NAME like he has, never as a Paid Writer For A Hip Weekly in a Hip City. But on a Free Anonymous WordPress Blog, sure!

heh. monday. sept 9 2013. moody monday. gonna have to start going on Longer Powerwalks. almost ridiculous how much time i have been spending In Bed (NOT with 18yoqt’s,  god that is starting to get annyoing and frustrating, have been Praying to You Know Who to Protect Me From: Lust, Anger, Hatred, Fear, Despair. Please help me not lose my mind over the 90000000 young girls I see all day, give me strength, protect me, have mercy on me, help me, help me to think no negative thoughts, be they anger, or hate, or pessimism, or lust, or despair, so many different kinds of negative thoughts!

Rearranging the NEtflix Queue is a good distraction. Job Search related stuff is NOT. Skool related is NOT. Young Girls is NOT. Breaking Bad IS.

Great Episode last night (Cliffhanger of huge shootout in the desert between DEA and the Nazis, no clue of who lives or dies other than Walt will live until the last episode. Jesse prob won’t die but he could. I really don’t want Hank to die but it’s not hopeful for him, he is the one most likely to die. Actually Gomez is even more likely and I don’t want him to die either.

I would like to believe that Vince Gilligan is more Morally Mature than most Hollywood Filth Peddlers and  even if the ending is ugly and Innocent People Die, also that Walt will somehow be punished for his own evil deeds. Getting Away Scot Free would be the Edgy Postmodern Postmoral solution, and even though BB/VG Plays with and frustrates the audience, I HOPE THAT is not his endgame. That would be wayyyy too SWPL and Marxist.

*Go On Longer Powerwalks. that is the only good thing I can come up with today. I am toying with the idea of walking next to the Roaring Major Road for 10 minutes just so I can extend my Powerwalk by 10 minutes. It will still be an 80% quiet peaceful walk.

So I am in the unique position of seeing 900000000000 18 year old girls a day. this is not normal. most men my age are “lucky” to see ONE 18yoqt per day. heh. so this is the unique cross I have to bear, hehehehe. but the lord wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. just a problem with a solution, and the solution is, call on the lord to help you contain your lust, that will naturally be stoked by seeing 10000000000000 qts every day, there would be a problem if you DIDN’T get aroused.  but to deal with the opposite problme of too much, you call upon your lord. The ROCK.

tuesday. mental impairment. cognitive impairment. bad decision making. Learning Difficulties. Hard To Learn. Hard To Think. Hard to Get good Grades and get into HYPSM. Moral Lazy Loserness can make Smart People DUMB. Just like it feels like your arms and legs weigh 900000 pounds and you can’t physically move, your brain feels the same way, you can’t Think, you can’t be Creative, you get intellectually lazy and only search for the quickest and easiest answer, you don’t like to think and learn, skool and college becomes impossible and you hate it.

think of the Inventive Spirit. some tv show showed An Inventor who was totally obsessed with Working to Put His New Technological Ideas into Action, he couldn’t think of anything else, and of course he won a Macarthur Genius Fellowship. We certainly don’t have that problem!!!

Or Motivated Students who Hit The Books with Passion and Intensity, vs Lazy Stupid Amerifats who can’t wait to get out of skool so they can watch TV and play vidya and become failures, because Thinking Is Too Hard and Not Fun.

You know which one is the better choice, it’s obvious, that doesn’t take a lot of Hard Difficult Thought!

But what? It’s so hard to Do the Mental Heavy Lifting without the Carrot Dangling in front of you? The 18YOQTs and the Good Lower Middle Class Fulltime Job Dangling in Front of you to make Taking Out An Unforgiveable Mortgage and spending 10000 hours of Mental Heavy Lifting Worth It????

Heh. yeah, Kinda, that’s what indeed.

Good News: I’m not sure that having a Three-Way with two 18yoqts could be considered decadent or perverted, as long as you’re not doing anything perverted within that three-way. IE any of the disgusting stuff you see in Porn.

OK here’s a good protip, thought as I was sitting in the car waiting to Start Underwork, Superearly in the morning: I am a big fan of Anger. I am sick and angry of people who say Anger Is A Bad Thing.

But you need to take a look at every instance of anger you Feeeeel and say, is THIS anger HELPING me?  and if not, then eradicate THAT anger. But not EVERY Anger! Just the anger that can’t help you directly.

Example: getting angry at annoying obnoxious stupid rude subhuman animalpeople. YES they’re annoying and awful, so your anger is NOT misplaced….however, you being angry at them does not HELP YOU. So Drop It.

If you HAVE TO see Too Many Young Cute Teen Girls every day, then simply call on God to Protect and Help you, and make an effort not to look at ALL the girls. Try to IGNORE them. You don’t have to look at EVERY Girl and think Perverted Thoughts about Every Single One. Think about yourself having a Nonperverted Threeway with your Two Favorite ones, if you HAVE to think of SOMETHING. Nonperverted = no roughness, no fetishes, no Gaping, no slobbering, no “money shots”, no bukkake, no stretching, no BDSM, no S&M, nothing Pornographic! Porn == Perversion!!! You know what those Perverted Lords Of Lies (tm Roissy/Heartiste) have come up with now? “Prolapse Party”!!! I don’t need to confirm that one for you! And they’re just gonna continue down that path.

If Men and Women can be so different, is it really so inconceivable that two races can be so different? Yeah there probably is a Large “Environmental Component”, but IMHO there’s a Large Genetic Component as well (50/50), AND, more importantly,

we have to LIVE with those differences. It’s not gonna benefit our own lives one damn bit to say WHY are there these differences. (It MIGHT benefit our children, but probably NOT!) ( AND, More importantly, in order to Live to HAVE children, you need to Benefit Yourself FIRST, by getting a good job, making money, and being successful! A Winner not a loser!!)

So don’t let Women (or Girly Men!!) give you stress about being a Little Racist or a Little Sexist. On the other hand, don’t get a Swastika tattoo on your Face (or Neck!) Because that’s just Trashy. RISE ABOVE THE TRASH AND FILTH OF LIFE.

I was just thinking, Men are way less STRESSFUL than Women; you will have a much more PEACEFUL life the more you remove Women from your life. Women Are No Fun. Stressful, Not Chill, make you Worry, and FOR WHAT?? FOR WHAT?? IS IT WORTH IT???

(This mainly applies to 18yoqt’s. If you have NonQTs that you are Platonic Friends with, I guess that’s ok. Or your Mom or female relative .

My new Pray’N’Ignore Plan isn’t working out too well. So don’t give up on it!!

* Useful Protip: If you stop and think of the last time you had some Delicious Chinese or Thai Comfort Food, and you can’t really remember, it’s been at LEAST a month, then by god, you have a new Priority #1. That is part of your Prescription For Curing Whatever this Satanic, Unholy, Nihilistic Soul Disease is.

Warning: Eat delicious Chinese and Thai Comfort Food TOO often and you WILL turn into a Fat Sack O’ Sh1t.

Amerilard. Amerifat. Don’t Be That.

But don’t FORGET to eat it ever, either. You know what I’m thinking!!

Heh. ROTATE your comfort foods. For example, if you eat too much PIZZA, then you forget to eat Thai, and then you’re getting Fat off pizza alone, and not even enjoying it as much, as if you had some delicious Thai in there.

Or some good ol Fashioned General TSow’s Chicken. Yum!

* Every Day, every hour you are at your Underjob, IS a RESUME BUILDER. You just need to think and write creatively about it. 5 hours at your underjob making minimum wage? 5 Solid Gold Resume Building Bullet Points. Whaddya mean Not Really?? Yes really. Simply BS Better. Bullsh1t Better. It’s ALL Bullsh1t. And it would be great to be making a Living Wage for your Bullsh1t. Maybe even Upper Working Class. Maybe even Lower Middle Class. MAYBE EVEN Upper Lower Middle Class!!!!!!!!!1

I like Spongebob and I like Regular Show, but this new show “Uncle Grandpa,” by god is that retarded as f00k. That is so stupid it WILL poison your mind. Not even funny.

Possible Netflix Hack: Put discs (disc mailing plan) that have a “SHORT WAIT” at the VERY TOP (#1) of your queue. Odds are, Netflix will mail you an EXTRA “courtesy disc” because your local warehouse is not as likely to have these discs. Not sure if this works for “long wait”. I think then, you just wait. But with Short Wait, both you and netflix are gambling, and sometimes you win. Not sure if you should do this ALL THE TIME. (There’s not that many “Short Wait” discs out there!) But Half The Time? Sure!

* The Slim Playstation 2 is HORRIBLE at playing DVDs. A Cheap $20 Walmart DVD player will play DVDs the Ps2 can’t even recognize. Heh. At least with my instances of these models.

Join the Army. Just do it already. chances are, when you score high on the standardized test, they will put you somewhere where you won’t be killed. And know that less than 50% of military enlisters are killed or even wounded anyway!

Unless you’re so angry and your mind so clouded that you underperform on the IQ test, so you look like idiot cannon fodder. Then prob your chances of getting killed increase. OOPS. well, if you get killed by terrists then you get remembered as A Hero, and you won’t go to Hell like if you Killed Yourself!

Hilarious Story Idea: Suicidal Religiouses who are too afraid of Going To Hell to Kill Themselves, so they “unconsciously” go to ridiculous lengths to get other things or people to kill them, kinda like “Death By Cop,” but getting hilariously creative with it.

Pay Me $9 For That Idea!

However it might explain why so many Drug Addicts and Alcoholics and Compulsive Types do the Self Destructive things they do! They don’t want to directly kill themselves, for whatever reason, so they INDIRECTLY kill themselves.

132pm  not as busy in terms of quantity, but quality of idiots is starting to wear me down, plus I am on an Energy Trough and can’t Deal as Effectively, plus loud noisy animals in the vicinity, creating a nonpeaceful setting. SERENITY NOW! PLEASE LORD HAVE MERCY! GIVE ME STRENGTH! PROTECT ME! JESUS AND MARY! and the 18 year old gurls continue unabated.

This is all part of the Karmic Debt I’m paying, so I can’t complain. I spent X years acting stupid, so now I’m gonna get X years of Punishment right back, it is right and just.

x = ?

At least 8 years Wasted, at most, 13. So what age does My Karmic Debt Paying end? At earliest, 34; At latest, 39. approximately.  Well that’s not so bad, can probably have a Useless Masters Degree completed and paid for by then! Berspankme University Online Masters Of Management Information Systems or Bust!

wed 9 11

yep 911 was 12 years ago. That was right about the time I (narciss) starting going off The Right Path.

Woke up at 3 am in the midst of a dream about a girl I hadn’t seen in 8 years. she was REAL cute, doesn’t take much effort to get REAL perverted there, lord she could have SOMF ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I never took action with her because she had a Boifran at the time, funny enough, a kinda soft pasty niceguy, that if he hadn’t had the real elite career ahead of him that he did, normally could never pull a girl that cute. Girl was bubbly and flirtatious even to me, gave me the thought that I could steal her if I tried, but I didn’t. Wouldn’t cross that line at the time, now I would.

Sucks to think of long gone people and times, however, there was never any Pain associated specifically with HER. so that was good. The thought of her SOMF may lift my mood thru the Long Day, hahahaha.

SOMF, I don’t think, is necessarily perverted, or TOO perverted. Just be careful. Cause it can GET perverted real quickly. Especially when the girl is THAT young and cute!

She wasn’t even 18, thank god, she was like 21, and STILL SMOKIN. College Girl, hahahahaha.

* if you really screw something up at underwork, because it was complicated, and you were flustered, and you can’t be everywhere at once, and you felt angry and horrible after, well then…… ask yourself what you could have done to make that situation a Win instead of a Fail….and THEN PRETEND YOU DID! because it’s not worth getting upset over.

* THEN: I was watching the Local TV News Daily Job Advice Segment, and today they talked about how you should “Speak In Stories”, and make everything a Story. Now they didn’t explain that fully but they didn’t need to, I got enough out of it. Basically speak in full sentences and tell brief but purposeful stories of how you achieved something specific. SO, write out a one-paragraph STORY of how you Pwned that Stressful Work Situation, then memorize that story and practice telling it in front of a mirror.

Basically, you can make stories even when you think you can’t. And you can turn bad things into good things, even if you’re just hypothetically saying what you COULD do. But make it sound like you Already Did that. And That is exactly the kind of lying you can get away with.  Pretend you did the good thing. And maybe you might get the chance to actually DO the good thing in the future, and then you WON’T be lying. Win Win.

Or just move to North Dakota, where you don’t have to have a Masters Degree to Get An Entry Level Fulltime Upper Working Class Job, you just have to have a PULSE and not show up DRUNK.

It probably doesn’t even HAVE to be an Oil Job, it can be a job in the booming Bakken/Williston area. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if there are Moar Health Care / Physical Therapist / Medical Assitant jobs in that area too, from all the oilmen falling off oil rigs and breaking their backs immediately, or breaking their backs gradually over the 100 hour weeks of Hard Work, hehehehe.

if they ask you why you were underemployed before, tell them because you don’t have a masters degree and you don’t interview well, hahahaha. you get nervous in interviews. that’s why.

* If you haven’t had Ice Cream in a while, go to the store and get some SMORES Ice Cream. It is Delicious and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Smores flavor. Warning: eat too much and you WILL turn into an amerifat.

* don’t have kids, don’t get married, live in a van, save your money, invest in gold and guns, maybe try a Roth IRA, MAYBE.

take care and RISE ABOVE perversion and despair with the help of the LORD.


aug 31 2013, 3pm, saturd

would i let miley cyrus sit on my face? probably once. I would definitely Bone her while she Twerked my Crotch. However I would never marry her, even though she IS prime of youth, because she is filthy and decadent and not the kind of girl you marry.

was watching the ABC FAmily channel and they showed “stick it” with “Missy Peregrym” (Jeff Bridges girls gymnastics coach, 2006), and “When in Rome” with Kristen Bell (zach duhmel, dax queerphard, will arnett, danny devito). Then I thought I would DEFINITELY like both Missy and Kristen to sit on my face.

Then went for brisk powerwalk, and mixed a tiny bit of Jogging in there, which I have been too lazy to do lately.

The big thing I did was use this site dirpy.com to convert a bunch of youtube vidyas to mp3. this is my new favourite site for doing so.  went through spotify queue and history of played queue songs and picked the favourite songs i had listened to recently. the best of the recent best. indispensible songs i could prob listen to at any time. grabbed the songs from youtube, put them on player.

You should try doing this. get like 30 songs you could listen to at any time.  time tested songs that you had listened to and enjoyed 9000 times before. songs with that special x factor.

that goofy faced girl from “when in rome”, she could also sit on my face. She is kinda a Hipster Grrll in some Twee Comedy Musical Group as well, playing ukelele “garfunkel and oates”.  I forgot her name, don’t want to look it up right now. “kate micucci”. hmm. didn’t think that was her name, but that is definitely the girl. 33 years old and still facesittable. not bad. see, I’m not so EXTREME.

anna faris, she could DEFINITELY sit on my face ALL DAY even though she is like 40. See? I can like older women too, hehehehe.

watched an australian movie and then explored maps of australia. seemed like a nice place to live.  i have this notion that the economy in aus is good. or at least Gainful Employment is higher than in US. could be wrong. and there are plenty of 18yoqts in aus. why not.

i don’t just like gurls Butts, I also like their Legs, and I especially like their necks and neckbones. collarbone. where the neck meets the chest. i am SURE, as apropos of rule 27, (actually Rule 34…or is it 36??) that there are Fetish Porn Sites for Clavicle Porn. I do not approve of Any Pornography, it’s all filth, but sometimes a necessary evil to get your Rocks off once in a great while, and you don’t have any 18yoqts on call. Doesn’t mean I LIKE Pornography. Nope. I DISLIKE it. But sometimes I really want to look at naked 18yoqts.

not 10 times a day, maybe 2 times a week. nothing  TOO perverted. wouldn’t even do THAT if I had a harem of 18yoqts on call, on demand, where I could be like, lets get down, I’m coming over.

on saturday night if you have nothing to do and wish you could have a super cute grill to make out, cuddle, sit on face, but you don’t, then Treat Yourself to a Movie. actually go out to the movie by yourself.

I used to do this ALL THE TIME, but got out of the habit. Prob cuz movies SUCK and they’re too EXPENSIVE, but there’s NO REASON to cut it out ALTOGETHER. go once a month or so.

actually saturday night would kinda suck because there will be a bunch of 18yoqts in the audience with their boifranz and they will look at you like youre a creeper. not that that matters, just that all those goddam PEOPLE can be ANNOYING.

ok. so if you have an underjob where something like wednesday is your “day off”, and you have nothing to do on tuesday night but sit around and jerk off to porn, then that would be a PERFECT time to take yourself out to a nice movie. make a big production out of it.  go out of your way to a fancier theatre, or go the distance to see an Artsy movie; and buy a Popcorn and put lots of salt and butter on it.

But don’t spend money on Soda or Water or Candy. if you don’t want Popcorn, just sneak in some of your favorite Candy. but if you plan on getting Popcorn, then also you must plan on sneaking in a Soda or Water. I recommend Code Red Mt Dew, hahahahaha.

maybe just go to the strip club already, find the cutest, youngest girl there, and keep throwing money at her and saying what will $100 get me. you will probably get to actually bang her if you are willing to spend enough money. Note: probably more than Spending Time with an Official “ESCORT.”  good news is that you get to actually see the girl before choosing her. bad news is that it will prob cost a lot more, and you have to go into a filthy strip club. might be better to just stay home and look at Prono, hahahaha.

931 am sept 3 2013 tues

REAL grim today. should not be: took the Rx, did Lites Out at 7pm last night, however didn’t sleep nearly as well as that implies. did not have ANY coffee. and all the 18yoqts taking their toll!

wed 738 am

again tried going to bed at 7pm, didn’t work out so hot. 5 am came too early. try going to bed at 6pm, hahahahahahaha. i think it’s cause it takes at LEAST 2 days to get into this rhythm. so, on the third day, i will be able to get effectively to sleep at 7pm.

takes forever to clear the mind, always in a bad mood, walking through sludge, end it all, real life is impossible, do not have what it takes, other horrible feels and thoughts. o god please.

a couple things that helped: calling people on the road “YOU STUPID SON OF A B!TCH”. That is a real good insult, and hilarious.

Praying to Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, and Holy MARY, MOTHER of God, PLEASE Grant Me Peace, Amen. Over and Over again. Please Grant Me Peace. Don’t forget about MARY. WE need all the help we can get! I know I do! I’ve got the best life in the world, yet I have no energy or motivation to do anything! I could have cancer or be homeless!!!

When my mind starts wandering to horrible thoughts like that early in the morning, and all it takes is like 10 slow minutes of downtime from my Work, then my new trick is to go right to my Netflix Queue and meticulously rearrange the first 100 or so movies. This is a miracle worker. While still praying to Jesus and Mary, of course.

Warning: yes I realize this is Pretty Much BLASPHEMY. That I can’t be talking about 18yoqtz sitting on muh face, and then praying to jesus and mary for a miracle, for strength and peace, all in the same sentence. or getting angry at people and calling them stupid son of a b1tches, for that matter.

I was at College doing some Studying, because maybe my problem is that I just don’t have enough EDUCATION to be worthy of a $9 an hour full time job, let alone a $15 an hour!, when I saw some Perfect Beta Boy Behavior. An Articulate and well-spoken and prob intelligent young man was Telling Some Gurl what to write for her paper, speaking the phrases out carefully as she wrote them. He was saying articulate and well-formed phrases that would probably get an A on the paper, like he was accustomed to Readin N Writin, whereas she prob was not. His voice also sounded totally unmasculine. Heh. I bet he was In Luv with her. Bad Move, Buddy!!

I’d be like, Write Your Own Paper, Stupid! and then she would sit her 18yo 4ss on my face, whereas that will never happen to him! “Rub your huge t1ts all over my c0ck while you’re at it!” I’d also say, and she’d happily oblige.

OK, here’s Another Cognitive Distortion, or is it:

“30 Years Ago, Your Parents Could Easily Find A Job with just a High School Education, that you, 30 years later, would have to have a Masters Degree and Bust your 4SS outperforming 9000 other people, and have a very good chance of not being as paid as well!”

or, more succinctly:

“Your Parents could easily find a job and make more money with a high school diploma than You can with a Masters Degree. And you aren’t gonna come by that job EASILY either!”

Rational Response: While it is true that certain Trends have taken shape over the past 30 years, this statement is a Gross Exagerration. It’s Not REALLY THAT Bad.  This is classic AMPLIFICATION or MAGNIFICATION, where you see something, and Grossly Exagerate it, so you believe it’s worse than it actually is. You’re not completely imagining it, but you are Overimagining its Importance.  This is a particularly Tricky Cognitive Distortion because it’s not like you’re pulling something out of thin air, and you can point to Some Evidence. It is a matter of degree, not of kind.  So it can be tricky convincing yourself the problem really isn’t THAT bad. Especially if you’ve been using it as a Convenient Excuse!

This is JUST THE SAME as me with my Gross Magnification of focusing Too Much on 18 Year Old Girls, at the expense of other perfectly attractive “Older” Young Women.  Just because Men Prefer Younger Women, on average, doesn’t mean Women past the Prime Of Youth (18 to 22, hehehehehe) can’t be attractive. Nope. Not until after they “HIT THE WALL” at age 30, only then is it truly all over, hahahahaha.

“You’re A Woman-Hater!”

Well Women, you don’t HAVE to read this!! Go read Cosmo! Or Masters Of Human Resource Information Systems Textbook!

So yeah. you can get REAL CREATIVE, with the stupid rules you make of How Easy it was to get a $x an hour job xy years ago, that you didn’t need a minimum of 200 college credits and 1000 hours of unpaid internship and have to spend at least 800k on your education to Prove You Want It, etc etc etc. Don’t forget about the Jagoffs even Dumber and Lazier than you, who Easily Waltz Into, in 2013, a nice $15 an hour entry level full time Business Job with their Bachelors of Business degree from a Fourth-Tier Sewer and 2.8 GPA and no internships.

All right Fellaz, take care of yourselves, try to have at least one productive day per week, then step it up to two, then three. Pray to Jesus and Mary for strength and guidance and peace and a miracle and gratitude, don’t eat too much junk food, get some sun, buy a light box for the winter, try taking some prozac or similar medz.