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ok so if you’re in a horrible godawful end it all sort of mood for the first 4 hours after you wake up….then try to distract yourself from that by working, errands, out of house, and No Writing.

If you feel the urge to fire up the old writing sheet and write about your angry sad hopeless kissless worthless useless hopeless lazy pathetic feels, JUST SAY NO. JUST DON’T DO IT. Play a darn GAME instead. There IS a productive way to write about such things, but it’s really RISKY, because you have to keep it SUPER SHORT, and then spin it so it’s very positive-heavy. You may be more likely to write 900000 pages of negative awful stuff than to do that, thus, it’s more effective just to write nothing at all.

It’s perfectly OK to write Positive Stuff like: I’m awesome, I’m thankful for all the good things in my life, I’m thankful for that, I’m good at this, I’m good at that, I’m hopeful about that, or here’s a good idea. But No Bad Feels.

Can you write about how you saw an 18 year old girl who really made you go HNNNNNNNGGGGGGG the best in the past month or so? Probably not, unless you’re Taking Action on a Plan to Make That Happen. IE, you’ve actually TALKED to the girl like a Normalfag, and not just saw her, thought she was real cute and prime of youth, then fantasized about playing with her young body for hours, and dating and marrying her.

Not to say your Feeeeeeeeeeeeelings aren’t “VALID”, just that Expressing them in Writing probably isn’t gonna help much, if at all. Save it for your Bargain-Basement Shrink! or Priest!

sat 8 3

shouldn’t be writing before awake for 4 hours unless DAMN sure it’s Positive. which it is!

* if you’re feeling grumpy or worse in the morning, no big shocker there, well, try to make a Big Joke out of everything, well, not a negative horrible joke, but a silly funny joke. If this is too difficult, then do a Funny Walk whenever nobody is looking. Like a Super Ridiculous Walk like the Monty Python sketch, or just a ridiculous little Dance. Dancing is good too. And if someone DOES catch you doing it, just laugh it off, or be like yeah so WHAT I’m Dancing, and then that will make them happier, and it will make you happier too.

*This Dance Like A Ridiculous Retard While You Walk is one of the bset Protip Bullet points I’ve given all Month. It is so easy to do, and So Effective. Some of the Highest Return On Investment I’ve ever discovered.

* Making Silly, Stupid FACES in the Mirror is another thing in that same vein.

i THINK it was this one, Charles Smith of “Bastyr University”

Was listening to some Naturalpath Osteopath or something give a talk on “Depression” and he made the important point that Some People Are Just More RESILIENT than others. Some people can have the worst luck in the world and just keep choo chooing along, whereas other people get one bad thing and then they crumble and give up.

obviously we are more like the weak one, and we want to be more like the strong one!

And Again, I’m much more concerned with the How can we be more like that, rather that Why Are We The Way We Are. Don’t Care.

link to sapolsky

Great Talk by Prof Sapolsky of Stanford, very good lecture, with a lot on the Biochemical Basis of “Depression”, and its Psychological Aspects as well. Wish he had a whole Course on this. Had too many good points to mention. Just check it out. examples:

some people bounce back after 2 or 3 hardships, but after 4 or 5 hardships or depressions, then the littlest thing can put them into a depression

norepinephrine is associated with “psychosomatic exhaustion”, dopamine associated with lack of pleasure, and serotonin with “obsessive grief.”

I personally don’t get too “griefy”, just angry and exhausted and distracted and hateful and hopeless.

The idea of cortisol and stress and stress hormone and glucocorticoids, and how your body and brain are in a Constant State of Stress, so of course you have no energy and can’t concentrate and don’t like anything.

People with Cancer can find that the Cancer makes them stronger or teaches a lesson or makes life more meaningful, makes them grateful for the power of Family, power of love, etc; but “Depression” makes it impossible for you to get any meaning out of anything.

Heh. though it’s hard for me to imagine how getting Cancer would also not make you “depressed”, and then you get a double whammy. Heh. I am a total cancerphobe, if I got cancer, I would Totally Give Up, might even K myself.

So now I am doing 10 mg of Paxil, up from 5 mg (daily), trying to work my way back up to 20 mg. Cause frankly there hasn’t been noticeable difference going down to 5. I think I was protesting the Pharmaceutical Complex, Corporate Greed, etc, but I am DESPERATE again to try to clear my mind and actually Do Work, not be hateful and tired and distracted all the time.

Trying to see my “shrink” once every 2 weeks.

Working a TEENSY bit of Jogging into my Brisk Powerwalks. Just a Minute here and there to say I did, get the heart rate up a little, burn off a little anger and hatred.

“But I don’t WAAANNNNAAAA get a Masters Degree just to gettajob! I hate college!” whined the little baby.

Heh. We Amerifats make such a big deal out of EDUCAAAAATION but since COLLEGE is the only education that matters, and a whole generation is going BROKE just to go to college, then….heh just abolish all education altogether, education is stupid, gay, and worthless. don’t even have public high schools then.

yeah just very frustrating. can’t even think productively. can’t problem solve, the brain doesn’t work anymore, can’t read, can’t study, can’t do homework, all I can do is lay there and watch Bela Tarr films, hahahahaha.

* get “creative” or at least unorthodox with your resume. if it hasn’t gotten you a good job by age 30, well you don’t have much to lose by trying something different, like listing your ACT score or your IQ or your bona fides from high school, back before you sh4t the bed. Maybe bring it down to size 9 font and .5 inch margins and just PACK IN as MUCH stuff as possible, like every single job ever. I used to think White Space / Blank Space was good and that Hiring Gods did not want to squint to read small print. But that obviously hasn’t worked out for me!

* Although I still think you should at least bold your NAME.

* Hire an Artist to write your resume in real fancy calligraphy. Or just print it out in the cursive handwriting font, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

* just like you should be Lifting and Praying every day, you should be doing Silly Dancing for at LEAST 10 minutes a day. in front of a mirror so you can see yourself. Just act like a total retard for 10 solid minutes every day ever. This is SUCH a great idea. Make playlists of good Dancing Songs you can do it to.

I might move away from movie reviews and possibly start ANOTHER seperate blog for Movie Reviews, but I will briefly say I recently watched “The Turin Horse” and it might be my movie O’ the year 2013, hahaha. Bela Tarr at his bleakest. The opening scene is classic and needs to be shared throughout the world, AND also I think it perfectly encapsulates what Real Lazy Losers feel every day, in the depths of their “Depression”:


Great music too!