friday july 5 2013

* books are better than nothing. Prob better than going on r9k and whining, no matter how important that is. I’m talking about Student Success and How To Succeed at College and Career Books. You should be buying and reading these well before going to Gayige. Don’t be an Idiot and read books that were written 10 years ago. Buy newer books by younger people. Buy even popular, mainstream, well-reviewed books. The stuff that pops up easily on amazon. Stuff on study skills, networking skills, encouragement on The Necessary Extracurriculars, motivational stuff.  I saw this book

(not claiming this book is the be all end all, I just came across it RANDOMLY, read the first 2 pages, and was sort of intrigued, I don’t like the girl’s NAME and her manner of DRESS, but I like that she is Super Young and In Tune with the Hypercompetitive Dominate Or Be Dominated climate, and she shows you how to start from the humble beginnings of the community college to still become a Successful Winner. Plus she targets the book to “first generation” college kidz, where their parents did not go to college, and thus could not prepare their kidz for the ubercompetitive extracurriculars where you have to outshine and outtry and outplastic everyone) (you will not get that reference, hahahahaha)

“Community College Success” and started browsing through it and thought, there’s some good stuff there, WHY THE HELL didn’t I read ANY books like this before I Started College? Not a SINGLE ONE. It’s AMAZING and ASTOUNDING that I did not read a SINGLE such book. You’d think High School Guidance Counselors would be throwing these books at me since I had Good Grades and got admitted to a Selective College (boy did I screw THAT up! And that Screwing Up is why I’m such a Big Loser Now!) But even THEN, I avoided the hell out of my High School Guidance Counselor. Like they say, you can lead the horse to water but you can’t make him drink! And I never ever wanted to drink! (The water, that is. Ironically Enough I later developed an Alcohol Drinking Problem!)

If I HAD read even ONE book, I would have said, “Damn, this sh1t SUCKS, this is for TRYHARDS, I’m just going to college because I HAVE to, I don’t want to be an OVERACHIEVER, I just want to Skate By, Get The Degree, and then get a nice easy job. I ain’t trying to be a Professional.” Even as a TEEN I had the Wrong Attitude, of UNDERACHIEVEMENT.

I wish I had know what that girl states in the first few pages of that book I linked above: There is no “AVERAGE” any more. To not be a loser you have to do BETTER than Average. Average just keeps getting higher and higher. You have to be super competitive not to be a loser. There are no guarantees for Average, Disengaged, Disinterested, Unmotivated, Underachieving students, like there was 30 years ago. I thought I was living 30 years ago!

Reading one book I might have just blown it off and said f00k these tryhards, I’m not trying to be a DOCTOR, LAWYER, or go to GRAD SKOOL, f00k, I don’t even really want to go to COLLEGE. But It’s just like High School 2, so I’ll do that at least.

Maybe if I had read 20 such books and seen the same themes and advice repeated, I would have learned. and said hrm maybe I should do some of these things. And go on hiatus from school until I am Ready and Willing to do these things.





.shy introvert

. this fag needs to man up and bang that b1tch





I didn’t even read Internet Forums then! seeking out Advice from People who were Doing It. I didn’t even read 4chan, because 4chan didn’t EXIST! I don’t even know what the hell I DID look at. I remember having a slow dial-up internet connection. I think mainly I was wasting time reading about Music, trying to download 10 second song clips to discover new music, looking at pr0n, and reading corny love fanfics. And Writing Corny Love Fanfics. I wasn’t interested in seeking out ANY information that could possibly HELP me!!

That’s how stupid and ignorant and immature I was! I wasn’t even AWARE I was Obviously Becoming A Loser! I was just like HURR DURRRR Wimmin Are B1tches and Wh0res because they think I’m Creepy hurrr durrr and all I cared about was stupid music. Heh. Nowadays, quite rightfully, I don’t care about music any more, I wish I could enjoy music more, but all I can think about is Being A Huge Loser Who Hates Everything.

It’s not like I didn’t have Counselors and Shrinks right there to ask for help and guidance! And the internet too! But I either didn’t THINK about it, didn’t WANT to, didn’t think I NEEDED to, or was too SCARED and STUBBORN.

But I wonder if I had read r9k for even one week during that time, and thought, THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL BECOME if you continue down this path you’re on, if that would change my attitude and my behavior and wake me up.

you think this is a mfing game

Normalfags and Winners overcome their Teen Angst, but I NEVER DID. So Now I’m an Adult with tonnes of Teen Angst! Notcool.png

So yeah I blame not having r9k to scare me straight, hahahahahahaha.

I NEEDED a good scaring straight. It was too my ultimate peril that I was NOT scared straight. And so now I’m a Huge Loser without the motivation or Energy to Change Myself.

A Night in Jail, Teen Angst Boot Camp, Scared Straight Programs for Wayward Youth, working at McD’s or Walmart with 30 year old losers, reading r9k, any of those would have worked. Something where I got to experience Real Losers, rather than Beautiful 18 year old Future Winners (It was one of those Good Schools where EVERYONE becomes a Winner. Ironic that I became a Bigger Loser than people who Lose at Schools where there is a vastly larger percentage of losers!)

I must have had much higher self-esteem back then, hahahaha. i was COMPLETELY DELUDED!!!!! However I still did not have the Confidence that High Self-Esteem usually confers, otherwise I would have done better with the wimmin. But I was still antisocial and r9ky and spaghetti pockets and introverted. I was just fooking STUPID and CONFUSED. NOW I have a much better Idea of How Much A Loser Am I, and what to do about it, namely, work hard and network and extracurriculars, but I don’t feeeeeel like I have the energy, motivation, and I get too angry and hateful and discouraged at the idea of all that work! Bad Attitude and Lazy in other words!

(R9kers WISH they were autists! REAL AUTISTS DON’T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK and REAL AUTISTS don’t CARE about Not Having Friends! Real Autists get All A’s in STEM Degrees and get good jobs despite being Awkward Autist Virgins, but with their Good Jobs, they’re LIGHT YEARS ahead of r9k neets! r9k WISHES they could be Autist!)