sun jun 30 13
* was having what educated professional f4gg0ts might call “suicidal ideation” today. Where you’re not SERIOUSLY PLANNING to K yourself, but you just think about how stupid and IMPOSSIBLE and grueling and Grinding life itself is, how you are useless and hopeless, and you almost WISH you could just K yourself, because now THAT would solve all of your problems. But you also know it would be a bastard move, and devastate your friends and family. Of course, most of you don’t have any friends, and you don’t have loving families. And those of you I can TOTES understand why you might want to K yourself! But REMEMBER, DON’T do it, let YOUR LIFE ITSELF be your PROTEST against the haters, your way of saying “f00k you f4gg0ts, I will live just to spite you!!!”
* So if those people can survive, then I, with loving family and friends, CERTAINLY should not K myself! What is the alternative? Go back to college and take 900000000 more stupid classes and hope to get a Upper Working Class Job before…..well, before my family gets so old and possibly senile that they cannot appreciate me finally “growing up!” But they are already pretty old, I am already pretty old or at least FEEL old and no energy, and I have a LOT of classes to go, a LOT of faggy internships, a LOT more cover letters and resume and hours and hours of job searching to go. But I would obv like them to live to see me FINALLY “succeed” and get a nice stable upper working class job, a nice gurlfran, etc, see that they raised a somewhat normal capable person instead of raising a total neet loser with Emotional Problems and Moral Defects!
* and so what then. You’ll be making 25k a year in an entry level job at age 40, age 50. single unsuccessful man. what kind of WOMEN do you think a man like this will be able to pull? Now there is a whole movement of men who avoid and shun women, and I go through periods of shunning women, but I think I’ll ALWAYS Want Women, if only, at the very least, desiring S with their 18 year old bodies. But not in a Hurtful Sociopathic Way! But not necess in a loving monogamous committal way either. (Although I feeeeeel more optimistic about being able to commit to an 18 year old girl than a 28 year old woman or older.)
* But what bothers me WAY MORE than the Women is the idea of skool, skool, and MOAR SKOOL. Skool never ends. the BS classes and homework and tuition and thousands of dollars and late nights and worrying and procrastination and the grinding and those long tests where you are Mentally Burnt Out for the entire week and those Papers where you worry about them all week and stay up too late doing them the night before they’re due and the temptation to just give up and take a nap NEVER ENDS. Going into class with 18 year old kids who are much less hateful and much harder working and much better attitudes who complain less and get more done. (and in many cases get sweet 18 year old S Action too!) Yep, SKOOL is THE WORST. And it costs you a ton of money and doesn’t guarantee you a damn thing, the only thing that can GUARANTEE you results is your OWN work ethic and Good Attitude, and if you don’t have that, and don’t know how to get that, then why should you spend money on SKOOL??
* if you’re going to go to COLLEGE, make sure you have a MENTOR or MENTORS from DAY 1 all the way through day 1500 or so. Someone who can be a DRILL SERGEANT and crack the whip and keep you accountable and make sure you’re doing the right things and not the wrong things. Of course, such people can be hard to find, and healthy people discipline THEMSELVES, right? I guess, f4gg0t.
* See that Critical Inner Voice that essentially TROLLS every good idea you have? And sometimes you think that voice is coming from Other People, so then you hate the other people, and think they are obnoxious, annoying, arrogant, insufferable f4gg0ts, when really it’s ALL IN YOUR HEAD. YOU’RE the one coming up with these f4gg0t counterarguments, NOT them!
* Heh. It is real hard for people with Anger Issues or “Depression” or Extreme Lazy Loserness to Get through College. You can get through high school because High School is easy. But College is a different story. It will take everything you have on your BEST days, and you haven’t been at your best…..ever.
* so go see a shrink, there aint no shame in that game. at the very least it will buy you some time, and if anyone bitches at you (although the place this is most likely to come from is the Critical Inner voice!! see above) tell them to shut the f00k up, you’re seeing a SHRINK, so you’re doing all you can do. then tell THEM to see a shrink if they have a problem with that.
* maybe go on SPRING BREAK even if you’re 30 or above. Heh I am watching a stupid spring break special on the travel channel. You know, with Prime Of Youth College Hotties getting drunk and partying and having Easy Sex. I know you never did that when you were that age! And you see these young women giving it away for FREE and think “B-But I’m a VIRGIN! or the only S I’ve ever had is with disgusting Hambeasts or Fat 33 Year Old Single Momz, not beautiful young sluts like these!”
* So right that wrong by going to Cancun or some sh1t already and banging a series of beautiful 20 year old college girls like you’ve never banged before.
* I bet if you had the Confidence, Charisma, Masculinity, Charm, and Game to be able to PICK UP a Wimmin from a Bar Club, then you’d also have the Social Skills to Ace A JOB Interview. If you can Cold Approach a Stranger Woman and get her to Spread Her Uterus for you, you could DAMN well convince a MANAGER to HIRE you.
* I might get back into reading BOOKS on Anger and “Depression” and then reporting on those books. If you can do nothing else, read books on these topics. Try To Learn Something About How To Help Yourself. I am in that position where I need some Fresh Advice and Inspiration.
* Actually WRITE OUT A LIST of all the things you hate. Certainly you could fill up many pages but just get one sheet for convenience and ease. Then, each morning, do a Two Minutes Hate where you read that list. Then put the list away and try not to hate for the rest of the day.
* Don’t K Yourself. If no one else cares for you, I sorta do! Yeah this was a pretty downer post, and I don’t want to end posts like that. SO make that list, do your two minutes hate, get down and do 20 Press Ups and 20 Burpees RIGHT NOW, Don’t overeat, write a new cover letter from scratch, call an advisor at your college and set up a f00king appointment with them and then throw yourself on their mercy and tell them how much you hate college and please please please can you help me. Also find a low cost shrink. Look for Counselors and Social Workers with mere masters degrees and offices that get money from the state. you can TOTALLY pay less than $50 per session. Not that you can afford THAT! So go once a month. Quit drinking or eating garbage and spend that $50 per month at the shrink instead.
Possibly Related articles
- On living without medication… (stoningdemons.wordpress.com)
- Living after loss: the Adventure of Grief (parentsofteenswhoselfinjure.wordpress.com)
- There is no “Why?” (metafilter.com)
- My Whiny Exhausted Self and Some Updates (amberskyeforbes.wordpress.com)
- Poor parents? – Andrew Leigh on poverty and the family (clubtroppo.com.au)
- Courageously breaking down the walls of silence that surround suicide (drsharongalor.wordpress.com)
- why buy the grad skool rulz? (orgtheory.wordpress.com)
- Guest Blogger: Amber Skye Forbes (legendsofwindemere.com)
- 6.25.13 … Stephen Fry: WOW, well said … “to be, or not to be” … (teaguenc.wordpress.com)
- Patricia’s Post (collegegurlunveiled.wordpress.com)