[ note: I also have something that is more like a straight up Traditional “Journal”, and MAYBE this might contain SOME insight into my own ANGER and Bad Attitudes, and how can I turn this around. I will now attempt to censor out the slightest identifying details. not sure how regularly I will do this, don’t want to be EVEN MORE Narcissistic!]

june 19

maybe find a way to make this pubrishable, as to be instructive and illustrative?

Saw a 20 year old girl yesterday who was datably cute. saw another (~25/24 y.o.) girl who i think is trying to go to MED SKOOL, and I think is actually MARRIED, but her body is RIDICULOUS, and she still has TOP 4SS, good god almighty, that is some natural STRONG attraction right there, and it stuck in the memory. Don’t even care if she is married, I would totes break that marriage UP.

[ breaking up marriages is NOT ethical or moral and I do NOT support it! but she really, really makes me go HNNNNGGGGG! And if were confronted with Dat 4ss I don’t know if I would be strong enough to make the right choice……like I would ever be confronted with Dat 4ss anyway!]

However when you Hate College and have no Career Ambition, then you look like a Total Creep and Loser to Women, because you are. Normal people don’t hate college so much and have SOME career ambition, or are at least working a lot harder because they have self-respect, and don’t want to look like Deadbeats Who Aren’t Willing To Work.

But yeah. I couldn’t help but think some Fun Time with these Women would drastically improve my  attitude and make me a Better Worker Bee or at least COMPLAIN LESS. I mean those are the kind of bodies you jerk off to PORN about. Imagine if you could get some of that in REAL LIFE!!!

And while that DOES sound “Misogynistic”, I assure you I still view them as Human Beings, AND I would not want to do the Perverted things you see in Porn, I would not want to do them any HARM, I probably wouldn’t mind Trying a Sort Of Relationship with these women if that’s the “Price” you have to pay for Sex, they are probably decent goodhearted people and not monsters or robots…..but it’s hard to get even from square 0 to square ,1 when you have Nothing Women Want, because Your Job and Your Attitude Sucks.

Creepin In The Community College Computer Lab, one sees revealing and harrowing slices of Real Life:
saw a 51 year old woman, and by god she said she was 51. damn now that is a sad case, this is what happens when you force EVERYONE to go to College. She has Outrageous Anxiety and is probably on some strong meds, and is always shaking and freaking out, has very bad eyesight, can barely do her homework, can barely use the computer, needs a ton of help with every single step of everything, absolutely should NOT be taking an online class, but there she is taking the online class, because there prob isn’t an on-site class. or she’s been working on a blabla program for at least a year, and needs this one class which might only be online.

So she has worse anxiety than me, and can’t figure out how to use word to do her homework, or the internet needed to do the research, looking stuff on google and navigating a christing website, and THEN uploading the word document to the online class site. I admit that it is very complicated for someone who’s never done any of this before. navigating through the dialog boxes to upload documents. forgetting to click ok and then the document never uploads, and she gets a 0.

Go Take A Break, This post got too long……






.r9k I challenge any of you

heh 4chan r9k thread backup. i archive the stuff the archive doesn’t archive! here we have a bunch of r9kers arguing about What To Major In, How To Best PWN College so You Can Get A Good Job Later, Tiers of Majors, relevant Feels, my kinda thread! Yeah it sucks you can’t view it the way it was originally viewable on 4chan but the important thing is just the Gist of the Conversation, it doesn’t matter who’s replying to who really.





Real Life Chronicle Of Higher Education!

anyway the 53 year old woman. she would freak out every time she clicked a link or switched a window and there were 9000 windows in the taskbar, and pray frantic prayers and mantras every time she did something.  it was sad. very very sad. I Felt SORRY for her.  And she was getting a [failing grade]  in the class, because she just couldn’t figure out how to do or submit her assignments. But Ithink her grade jumped up to [POSSIBLY passing grade] over the course of several hours, so, maybe it wasn’t totes hopeless, if she actually turned in her assignments.

these are the same people who spend 4 hours working on an assignment then forget to save it. I can’t mock them, they are just fish out of water. And no amount of Computer Education or College can Fix them. Maybe I am TOO Hopeless about Higher Education? Maybe it really DOES help people? [Yes, I am, some people ARE Smart enough to be trained how to use a computer no matter their age]

But if I were that lady, I would just give up right there and try to get AutismBux from Taxpayers, say f00k trying to go to college. Besides, Sweet Bourgeois Upper Working Class $10 an hour College Jobs will discriminate against 53 year olds with immediately obvious emotional/anxiety problems. And in an ideal world they wouldn’t. I don’t think the woman was STUPID or INCAPABLE of Doing Work. She, I think, actually COULD be trained How To Use A Computer or to do $10 an hour work. Actually what she REALLY needs is Low-Cost Mental Help.

[Note: I never said I was Anti-Therapy. If you can find a Low-Cost Therapist, by ALL means, give them a try. I just prefer Jung to Freud, and I also enjoy Cognitive Behavioral Approach: Changing negative thoughts and habits. It is “Depression” Meds, SSRIs, which I am most suspicious of.]

saw a tallish girl with the same dykey haircut as I went crazy for for one of my 7 Girls I Was In Total Luv With…..only this girl has a WAYYYYY more Bodacious Bottom. Like SO Ridiculous, it’s just gonna look ridiculous when she is 30 and beyond. Like real Black Guy Bootay. [racism alert]  However it certainly made me go HNNNNGGGGGG!!!! She might be a lesbian, just like one of My Past Girls was prob a lezbobo.
does the girl make you go HNNNNGGGGG!! is a great litmus test for not only would you like to bang her, but would you not mind committing to her. so you can have someone to make you go HNNNNGGGGGG On The Reg.

Not like I would be a Decadent, Perverted Sociopath! I would buy these girls dinner if I had to, take them out on a few dates if I had to, heck, if they were Good Girls I would EXPECT to HAVE to do that, because Good Girls DON’T Give It Up Easy! I would treat them right and if I could see they were Falling In Luv with me, then I’d say Babe We Gotta Have No Contact Because I ain’t In Luv Witcha Back. I wouldn’t need a 100 girl Harem, just 1 is enough if the girl is top tier. And as perverted as I would get would be me playing with Dat Ass for a solid hour.

Either the girl makes you go HNNNGGGG!!!!! or she makes you go hrmmmmmmmm.

How about this: I write one cover letter, I get to play with Dat Ass for an hour. I would be writing SO MANY Cover Letters that I would have a Damn Upper Working Class $10 an Hour Fulltime Entry Level Bigboy JOB right now! Sheeeeeit I would even compromise, do one cover letter for 30 MINUTES of Funtiem.

YEAH it’s DECADENT and PERVERTED to FOCUS on Girls’ BUTTS to the exclusion of the rest of them, but I can assure you, I am playing this up a little bit, and would give the rest of her plenty of attention to. And not as some kind of misogynistic sex object but as a Human Being with Hopes and Dreams and Feelings, and I would not Break Her Heart just to get My Precious Sex Addiction Fix, jeez, am I gonna have to put in this disclaimer EVERY TIME

Heh maybe it’s tiem for me to go back to the strip club. go there, take 5 minutes to pick the cutest girl, immed get 3 dances, or get  dance apiece from the 3 cutest girls, then GTFO, in and out in 20 minutes. like buying something at walmart. because obv I hate the Atmosphere in those places. very sleazy, very uncomfortable, not fun at all. and the girls SMELL WEIRD. and then you HAVE to do laundry.

funny: dorky jewish kid [racism alert] on “american dad” saying something nerdy dorky geeky gave him a raging BRAINER