june 8, 2013 ufmll

* I think I would have hated school less IF:

* I had a big detailed plan-out-every-day-of-the-next-4-years PLAN so I knew EXACTLY what to do, and WHY I was doing it, and could then point to the exact long-term payoff of this short-term unpleasantness

* I had a QT3.14 GF who I could get some hot Prime Of Youth College Gurl Cuddling From Once A Stressful Week, to take the Edge off in a way that is much healthier than Alcohol Or Drugs.

* Note I did NOT say Decadent College Sex! Although Decadent College Sex is prob better for MEN than NO Cuddling AND NO Sex. the end goal here is to produce well-educated men who can become well-employed enough to Have Three Children. That’s the main goal here, the end game. Are you making enough money to support Three Children.

* But Why Three Children? Because that’s the Magic Number to Keep Your Race alive? And I promised I wouldn’t talk about RACE here!

* Well, ok, fine, I want to have three children, maybe you want to have one child or no children. Gotta get back to my Socrates again. Didn’t Socrates have children? He def had a wife!!!! heh. he had THREE children as a matter of fact!

* ok the endgame is to be a productive independent adult, debt-free, stablely consistently employed, who COULD realistically have children if You wanted.

june 9 2013

* try watching the show “arrested development” and have a big marathon where it takes over your life. I can’t quite determine if it’s filth yet.  It’s def not the filthiest, and it is very clever, and very funny.

* I should have personally started some kind of 30 day experiment myself at the beginning of june but I forgot. But what I’m gonna TRY to do is cut back my COFFEE drastically. Because I drink one big 20 ounce mug of coffee first thing in the morning while getting ready, usually a few chugs on top of that, THEN when I get to underwork I make 5 out of 12 cups in the carafe. heh.

* and this is a big improvement because I USED to make 10 out of 12.

* But since I am still a Big Loser with Absolutely No Energy who could sleep all day, and some people on Paleohacks.com say they’ve gotten good results from quitting coffee, and I’m at my Happiest during the “Summer”, and I’m on indefinite hiatus from Skool, ie, bretty low stress bro, thank GOD, so I will take this OPPORTUNITY to cut back the coffee even more.

* Ideally to one big 20 oz mug per DAY. or is my mug 16 oz. either way. 16 oz would be enough too.

* tell yourself whatever you need to to achieve your goal. like, coffee makes me feel good for x minutes, but then it makes me feel Tired and Crashed and Dead and No Energy and Anxious and Distracted and ADD for 2x minutes! The Costs outweigh the benefits by 200%!

* Ok so what about the Engin Students who also want a QT3.14 19 year old College Gurlfran, they tell them that would make all the Saturday Nights at 3 am in the Liberry doing Math Problems till they go blind worth it…..but they are too dorky and autismal and unmasculine to pull such a gurl, and SURE they’re angry and bitter and broken and whatever, but they put the HEAD DOWN AND POWER THRU as they say on “arrested development” and come of it all successful, gainfully employed engineers, cute QT college gurlfran be DAMNED! But don’t you think THEY would have liked some nice Hot College Gurlfran Waifu QT Cuddle Action TOO?

* Yes, more than likely!

* So after a personal setback / disappointment in like October 2012, I told myself I would allow myself to be Raging Angry for a Real Long Time, as part of the Healing Process, blabla. but by the end of June if I were still raging angry, then it’s time to think about fixing that. then I felt I wasn’t angry about THAT any more (Rejection from Woman, yikes), but that I was still raging angry about Everything In General, well namely Education and Career and Success, calling everybody F4gg0ts for example, perfect example of Anger. Not just a Two Minutes Hate at the beginning of the day, but a constant anger towards F4gg0ts who did the right thing; being angry at Skool and Careers, and angry at those who weren’t So Angry At Skool that they could succeed in skool and then career, whereas I HATE SKOOL with the intensity of 10000 suns, and then angry about that, and angry at the people who WEREN’T angry about it, calling them f4gg0ts and Human Garbage and etc.

*So uh just do one day at a time, exercise even if its just as little as walking, don’t eat bread, take your fish oil and vitamin d, get vitamin d from the sun,  maybe get an unpaid pre-internship for your unpaid internship and that will give you a sense of accomplishment about being closer to having a middle-class (upper working-class?) job, hahahahahahaha. and cut back on your coffee. maybe drinking half the coffee would make you half as angry, and that would be good, right?? and get 8 hours of sleep a night.

* And who cares if you don’t have a QT Gurlfran To Cuddle With Lovingly. QT Gurlfrans are for Weak F4gg0ts. You don’t NEED anybody. Except your family and friends. If you’re that much of a Cuddle Maniac, and I realize many of My Brethren ARE, then get a f00king stuffed animal. GET A TEDDY BEAR at 32 years old. Besides, Real People get all hot and sweaty like a furnace and they roll around and steal blankets and kick you.  You’re Overidealizing the decent 5 minutes of it and forgetting the crappy other 99% of it! But I can RELATE, I definitely used to be and may still be a Cuddle Freak. heh. SO Unmasculine!

* Cuddling is OVERRATED.