* It’s true, it’s not what you know, it’s WHO you know, and it will be Networking that eventually SAVES your 4ss. Yet networking is one of the worst things you are at; you couldn’t network to save your life; you can’t talk to Strangers; sometimes you can’t even talk to your FRIENDS; some of you don’t even HAVE any friends.

So the trick is to find someone that’s both Outgoing and Nice AND A Real TALKER. Once in a while you will get one of those people that talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to you even though you’re obviously not in the mood. And once in a while those people will be Nice and Well-Meaning rather than rude, obnoxious and annoying. Heh. Maybe about once a year. These are exactly the type of people you should network with. Ask them if they need any Entry-Level People at their Company, that you will buy them a $100 Pizza Party if you’re hired.

And that you will do all your own training on your Off Time, so they wouldn’t have to TRAIN you, GOD FORBID, and waste valuable money training their employees.

You can confess to this contact person that you’re not the most Ambitious Career Person, because you’re prob NOT, and you just want to Work for 40 hours a week As Is Mandatory, and go home, and that you’re more of a Spiritually/Religiously Oriented person, which prob is not far from the truth!

* I was at a Job Fair, which totally Sucked Balls because I did not prepare, I just wanted to force myself JUST TO GO, so I succeeded at THAT at least. But it would have gone noticeably better if I prepared. Namely a 30 second Elevator Speech on why I would be The Best Data Entry Clerk for their company, because I am floundering as f00k on my computer science degree, that is just basically a lie I tell people and myself.

I wonder if these Little Lies will WORK at a job fair. Of COURSE they will, you just still gotta be prepared and rehearse your lies. Again, lying does not mean Inventing Impressive Internships on your Resume. However, if Impressive Internships are the ONLY thing to get you an Entry Level Job at a Good Company (ie a company that will probably remain alive/viable for your Working Life and Not Lay You Off, this itself is a TALL order!), then maybe lying won’t work. I mean BSing.

People would wait in line for 30 minutes in a line 30 deep just to give their Elevator Speech at the Reps from the Good Companies, drop off their resumes, etc. You could tell the Good COmpanies because of the long lines, and the veyr recognizable company names. I didn’t even.

I talked to a Travel Agency and completely botched it and felt like a loser failure. Nope, couldn’t get that job because:

a. not a recent graduate

b. no internship experience

c. no travel agency experience

d. heh terrible communication skills

ok back the drawing board.

the other classic thing was when I went to I think an IT recruiter. They had a sign saying “Interested In Software Programming? Talk To Us!” or something weird. And I said “Yes I saw Your sign, I am interested in Programming” and then about 2 seconds later I complete crapped out, even worse than I did at the Travel Agent, and pretended like I had an emergency phone call, “UM I GOTTA TAKE THIS I’M SORRY, I’LL COME BACK!” And of course I did not.

That was Strike 3 of the Job Fair, so I figured I’d leave, rather than force myself to stay the Entire Duration It Was Open, ie 3 or 4 hours.

* The other super memorable thing was when I was In a 100 person line waiting to get in line 10 minutes before The Opening Time, one of those Nice Guy Talkers got in line behind me and started Talking to me. I practiced my chit chat and did pretty well, but he was A Talker.

He was about 65 or 63 years old (he told me his age) and the thing he said that stuck with me was, “AT THIS POINT, I’LL GLADLY TAKE A $10 AN HOUR JOB AS LONG AS IT WAS FULL TIME AND HAD SOME KIND OF HEALTH BENEFITS.”

He had previously worked in Graphic Design, Newspapers, Accounting, Banking, running his own business. Seemed like an intelligent enough guy, education in accounting and computers. Lost his house, somehow he got into a cheaper house and was not homeless thankfully. Was finishing a WEb Development Associates degree because there was nothing better he could do, than try to look productive and take the Fed Money for Layoffs to Go Back To School, Because More Kollige Is Always The Answer To Everything, including Unemployment.

Yep, he just needs an Associates in Wed Dev from a Community College and then he will be able to get his coveted, hallowed, $10 an hour full time job with health care!!!


Heh. Just hope he’s memorized the “Interview Tips for JOb Seekers Over 65” and doesn’t tell them he wants to Work There Till He Retires! Big No No!

F00KING FAGGOTS. If you don’t use the word FAGGOTS to describe all this FAGGOTRY, you are a Faggot too.


Anyway, point is, he was a real nice guy, he deserves his $10 an hour Fulltime Entry Level Dream Job, and if he had it, I would try to Network with him and bribe him with a Pizza Party to get one of those too.