activate Word Count, somehow, someway

NEW BLOG 15 may 21 2013

On /r9k there is some talk of “EASY MODE” and the ways you can activate it.

Someone suggested running into the emergency room and screaming that you’re going to kill yourself. then they can “involuntarily” commit you to the psych ward. once in the psych ward, act like a raging lunatic for like a week, bashing your head against the wall, cutting yourself, acting like an animal, until they pump you full of thorazine or something. Then start acting normal. But after you’ve been in a Psych Ward for like a month then you can claim you have a Mental Disability and get a lot of money from the Gummint ie responsible working taxpayers and never have to work again. Abuse the Welfare State, hahahaha. There is disagreement over whether this would actually work.

Anon also suggests that Bad Back is the more realistic Easy Mode. You do Physical Work for a Living, destroy your back permanently by Age 40, go on Permanent Disability, get paid to not work and pop Prescription Heroin all day and then prob die by age 50 as a Mad Opiate Addict. This is more realistic, we all know people with Bad Backs and Chronic Back Pain. A Horrifyingly real possibility.

In other words, “EASY MODE” does not sound too cool. But you start thinking about it once you see how hard “NORMAL MODE” is.

Normal Mode vs Easy Mode, an impossible choice.

So go outside and take a walk and get some sun, especially if it’s Not Winter. 258 words so far.

Now. Lying To Get A Job. Mixed reviews for this suggestion. Just be aware there are potential risks, like getting disgracefully fired after you’ve been hired once they find your lies. And then I don’t know then if Future Potential Employers can find out You’re A Liar, or you got Fired For Lying, or if you were just “Terminated, no reason given.” Of course, many places want YOU to GIVE the reason. Of course you could just lie about that, and how could they check that? I thought there was a law that if they called the employer, then the employer couldn’t say WHY you were terminated. So in other words, you CAN’T be caught in a lie. Unless you make up the job or company straight up, like Art Vanderlay or something, costanza.jpg shiggy diggy.

So I advise, do soft, gentle, embellishment lies, little white lies. Lies based on the truth. Exaggerations that they cannot possibly verify. Stupid Statistics of Concrete Accomplishments they cannot possibly verify. I guess it would be challenging finding out just how big of a lie you can get away with. I say, just try lying and see how it plays out, cause telling the TRUTH sure doesn’t work In The Job Search.

This is very tricky, because Honesty and Truthfulness are some of my Top Virtues. I Hate Lying and Liars. I don’t want to become a Liar and chances are You don’t either. Just realize that you are keeping your PROFESSIONAL life totally separate from your PRIVATE life.

Since you prob ARE an honest person, you might find this difficult at first, which will ensure your initial Lies won’t be too extreme anyway, ie, something you could not possibly be fired for lying for, something they can never prove or disprove.

These aren’t your friends, they aren’t your allies, if anything, they’re your ENEMIES, and you’re competing in a dog-eat-dog world. So use lies to do that. Lies 9 to 5 and then Total Truth 5 to 9.

The goal for right now is to Secure Gainful Employment. It’s very possible that once you Get In you can be your honest self, and show them you can still do an Outstanding Job. Who CARES if you lied about your PAST, look at what you’re doing NOW. ACHIEVING RESULTS, CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVER. 646 words.

Heh. Progress Not Perfection. You’re not EXPECTED to be a 100% match to the BULLSH1T Criteria they list in the job posting, FORGET what the Tryhards say HURRR DURRRR. They are a bunch of fat faggot failure f00ks who suck their daddy’s D. There will be other Not Perfect people submitting, DEFINITELY people Less Intelligent than You, so WHY NOT YOU? If you’re 51% match and can lie your way up to 75%, go right ahead.

So yeah, it WILL feel WEIRD to LIE when you know lying is bad and you’re not used to doing it. But just tell yourself it’s GOOD IN THIS ONE INSTANCE, because it will only help you. Scam The Scammers. Lie to the Liars.

Besides, since you didn’t go to a God Tier Skool you’ll never get a job at a God Tier Company, hahahahaha.

Even if you DID go to a god tier Skool, you’ll never get a job at a God Tier Company, because you’re reading THIS, which means you probably F00KED UP at the God Tier Skool.

And, if at the end of your rope, just start training for HVAC. HVAC is Easy Mode Plan Z. When you show up on time, regularly, not on drugs, they’ll think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Because you’re not still on drugs, I sincerely hope. 813 words.

Maybe Try University Of North Dakota Online. They have a bunch of Actual Hard Maths and Sciences online classes which they let you take up to 9 months to complete one class. For something like Calc 2 or Calc 3 or Organic Chemistry or Statics or Materials or Therm this might be great, rather than Cramming as much stuff into your Memory as possible in 4 months and Burning Out.

Heh if you Like College and Find it Easier than High School, well then by all means, more power to you. But You probably don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this, because you will have had Much Success in Life, Luv, and Career. If anything you Hate College and liken it to an ETERNAL WAR that you are fighting, and the very IDEA of it makes you SICK and FURIOUS. the end.