INTRO pt 10: TOUGHEN UP, SSRIs, CHECK ENGINE LIGHT, GOOD OLD FASHIONED HARD WORK

yeah we ALL could have done things Differently in the past. Any number of simple things that probably would have been very effective, logically. I could have joined the military at 18, or gotten a good degree rather than a bad degree. but maybe i would have gotten bombed and lost my legs and gone crazy from that, or maybe i would have dropped out of skool altogether after failing thermodynamics and become a drug dealer and gone to jail where I would have been raeped up the ass and hanged myself.

we cannot change the past, don’t worry about the past. don’t worry too much about anything, but don’t do unhealthy stuff either. just try to be healthy in every thing you do. ask if what you’re doing, thinking, or eating is healthy. if not, don’t do, think, or eat it.

did i point out that the goofy stuff like squat-pooping or no-soap showering probably isn’t gonna Fix You all in one fell swoop. those are not cure-alls. they’re just interesting things to try, if you’re interested.

be open to doing 30 day experiments with yourself. For example, you’re not supposed to be hateful. In fact, too much hate probably IS unhealthy, but I see no reason why a LITTLE hate can’t be healthy. But after a recent setback, i said I was gonna be as hateful as I could possibly be, until X time limit. OK that time limit was about 3 months but I found I could not be hateful that long!

Try 30 days. Be as hateful as you possibly can, all day, every day, for 30 days. you will prob get all the hate out of your system, or at least the excess unhealthy hate. that over-the-top hate that’s not helping you.

if you see an ethnic person being very obnoxious and annoying, feel free to call them by a “hateful” ethnic slur, no matter what Educated or Enlightened or Successful people or Wimmin would say. F00k them, f00k what they would say, they’re weak faggots.

A goal here is to TOUGHEN YOU UP (and me too!). I swear I’m gonna do it. It’s nothing to be scared of. You know you WANT to be tougher. It’s just so tough. Well the good news is you don’t have to do it alone, me and you are gonna Get Tuff Together.

There’s an argument that Porno is OK if it keeps from being a Slave To Women, as long as you aren’t a Porn Addict about it. The Internet Guy mentions 15 minutes once every 3 days. Heh. I GUESS that’s not as bad as it could be, like 30 minutes every day, that would be horrible. He was arguing that Sexual Release is a positive thing. He DOES have a point. But you CAN get that release WITHOUT looking at Porn. So try that.

Also sometimes a period of NO Sexual Release can be a healthy thing too. Try THAT for 30 days. “No Fap Challenge” is what it’s called. Give that little experiment a shot. It’s all about experimenting with your own body, mind, and soul, finding what works and what doesn’t. Will take some trial and error. Some error is inevitable.

Should you take MEDS? SSRI’S? Prozac? Paxil? Effexor? Wellbutrin? Seroxat? Cymbalta? Abilify? I know for damn sure you’ve THOUGHT about it. That you have been DESPERATE enough to think, I’ll do just about anything, yep, my spirit has been crushed to the point where I’ll take those weird, evil, mind-numbing MEDS, I’m at the bottom of the barrel, I don’t know what else to do.

If you feel that way I probably can’t stop you. I actually tried them myself. The desperation keep increasing so I was like, f00k this sh1t, gimme a higher dose. Higher dose. Nope, still A Loser, better up the dose again, nothing else is gonna work, until I was taking like 60 mg of paxil a day. Then I figured this was breddy high for that. I really didn’t feeeel much better, plus i started worrying that, hey, they don’t really know the long term effects of these drugs, and I sure as hell don’t trust the FDA or the Pharm Industry to look out for my best interests, what if 20 years from now, I can’t create any serotonin whatsoever without the help of a Drug, a Drug that’s manipulating and possibly frying my brain?

So Against Medical and Professional Advice I stopped taking it. Don’t feel much better, don’t feel much different, but at least I can tell myself that I don’t have a drug permanently frying my brain. But I already prob already permanently fried my brain with alcohol and drugs. However I don’t want to fry it any more.

I have taken the Jung Perspective that “Depression” aka “Lazy Loserness” is NOT a DISEASE like Your Doctor and Professionals and TV tells you; that it is a SYMPTOM of whatever the ACTUAL problem is. It’s a CHECK ENGINE LIGHT. The light isn’t the problem; the light is telling you to look under the hood because there IS a problem, and we must investigate further to find what THAT problem is, and fix THAT.

I think for most of us, it doesn’t take that long of tinkering under the hood to see the ACTUAL problem: our lives are going nowhere, we are losers, we are virgins, we are fat and out of shape and anxious and cowardly and lazy; we have bad jobs; we’ll never get a good job or a good mate; we’re huge loser failures. And IMHO no amount of Pills is gonna fix that. There’s only one thing that will fix that, and you already KNOW what it is.

Good Hard Old Fashioned WORK! But it’s one day at a time, so that’s not so bad. The work isn’t SO HARD that you can’t do it. Sometimes it’s just as easy as walking out the door for a 20 minute walk. Or closing the 4chan page. Or finding a quiet place away from screeching teens, even if you just go into a bathroom stall. or going to the park and looking at trees and not having to listen to roaring traffic. or saying thank you that you don’t have cancer, that you have a place to live, that you aren’t in jail. or realizing that it’s ok to be a little bit hateful. that it’s ok if you prefer people of your own race. as long as you’re not going out and hurting anybody.

Now I’m NOT encouraging a Decadent, Hedonistic, Shallow view of “If It Makes You FEEL GOOD, DO IT!” leading to drugs and gluttony and promiscuous sex. I am a pretty Traditional Morals kinda guy. I think Today’s Women are too promiscuous. I think people too often Separate Sex and Love, and this Should Not Be. Recipe for Disaster and Soul Murder. Ok I will be back.

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