ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING S0D0MITES / RUSHING THRU THE RELATIONSHIP SIMULATOR

0215

welp went to gym yesterday for first time in a while, that was good. so hard to burn even 700 calories hahahaha. the way easier way to lose weight is to just not eat as much. now then youre always hungry but after a while you get more used to it, like your stomach shrinks. but with exercising its so hard to burn 700, 800, 900 calories. and its hard to exercise when you are hungry before you go in there. so the best thing to do is to eat a decent sized meal THEN go exercise. then not eat afterwards. then your net calories in the day is under 700 hahahahaha.

shit if That Woman dumped me in a Good Way, i would STILL be mad and angry and STILL blame myself and STILL overreact. i have done it before. when woman2005 dumped me i didnt really understand what was going on. it did not sink it AT ALL. i didnt accept it. i said welp i will keep trying to hang out with her and make out with her but we will just call it Casual Fun and I will try to get used to the idea that she is probably dating other guys including her x boifran. oh well. call it anything as long as i can still be with her. i didnt understand that she didnt want to be with me AT ALL. i mean i had a REALLY thick skull about it.

and i got more angry at her than i should have, treated her worse than i should have. i dont feel too bad about it though, she became very successful and happy in life hahahaha.

she didnt think i liked her as much as i did, she thought i was over it quickly. but i wasnt hahahaha. also it didnt help that i wore her down so that i got to make out with her a bit more, that made me think There Was A Chance, and that she was evil for Stringing Me Along. when in fact i was just being Pushy and she didnt know what else to do.

i dont blame myself too much because i was young and in luv hahahah and was desperate, would do anything to be with her. share her with other guys, not call  it a “relship”, hang out only once every 2 weeks, whatever it took.

i didnt understand that it was really over; i didnt understand that i needed to stay away from her; combine this with not really great communication, and the fact that i saw her and talked to her regularly, and i began to go crazy and hate her, when really i brought a lot of that on myself. well we were both young. but she had a LOT more experience being in Rels and long term rels and short term rels and communicating in rels than i did!!!!!

heh. just because women have TONS more experience in Secs and Relships than you do, dont assume they have TONS of good experience communicating.

i wasnt communicating well either tbh. i was essentially trying to scam her or manipulate her into Being With Me without realizing she was Being With Me. So she could still physically Be With Me and still satisfy whatever bullshit criteria she had where she didnt want a Real Serious Relationship. OK well then i would redefine and manipulate what  “relship” meant and what kind of “relship” we had. so i could be with her in some capacity by an means necessary. because i didnt understand what she was telling me. but at least she tried hahahaha. and she was a sneaky little J who had probably been with 10+ guys and had who knows how many Abortions. She was a middle class College Gurl who went to Grad Skool for a Middle Class Career! and i am not talking about online MBA. more like brick and mortar phd.

anyway i just hate how i get such strong feelings for women, then when they dump me, i am SO DEVASTATED i can barely live my life. not that i can barely live my life anyway. but its 10000000 times worse when a woman i am in luv with dumps me!

oh what an idiot i am! i went looking on okcupid for HER and OH LORD I FOUND HER! it said she was online now. i did not say anything hahahaha. but it was not fun seeing the 2 pictures of her or whatever. i also could not see what her answers to questions were. it also said we were 87% enemies.

there was nothing really on there. I WONDER HOW MANY GUYS SHES FOOKED FROM IT hahahaha. prob over 10. what a disgusting degenerate sodomite. why did she reject me hahahahah. why couldnt she just say sorry im not interested. why couldnt she just be interested. why does a 25 year old attractive woman without children need to go on any Dating Site. what kind of guys does she think she is gonna find on here. what kind of women do i think are on here. trashy crazy slutty sodomite women. hehehehe.

she doesnt need to go on okcupid! she can just contact me!

why does she want to get fooked by other guys! she still has UNFINISHED BUSINESS with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she should be too ASHAMED to meet anybody else until she has cleared her conscience with ME!!!!!!!

well i already closed out of the shit. i did not bookmark anything, did not save any pictures, did not copy and paste anything. i just saw we had a high enemy percentage. although i answered a lot of questions falsely to make myself appear like a Dark Triad Narcissistic Alpha Male who was not into Monogamous Relships hahahahaha.

dont go out cruising for new c0k you sodomite degenerate whore! take care of the unfinished business in your life which gives you bad karma and makes you a bad person and not worth dating! hahahaha.

she had boring 2 word blurbs on the main page, i dont want to go back to look at them. i think she said she spend s alot of time thinknig about “the past, the present, and the future.” HA. I HOPE she AGONIZES over the PAST hahahaha. fooks sake, i cant escape it.

so do i feel better or worse, having the stupid goal of looking for her on that…..and finding her? i dunno it wasnt a BIG deal….but its still stupid. wish i had not done it. dont do it again.

really i just looked for white gurls of her exact age who live in her zipcode and found her super easily.

heh. i hope she meets a lot of shitty guys that remind her of how AWESOME i was and how SPECIAL and GOOD our relship was, and how BAD she treated me. and that at the very LEAST, she should APOLOGIZE to me for HURTING me.

uh oh did i see everything i needed to see on the profile? should i go back and look at it again? OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHOULDNT HAVE LOOKED AT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

amazing and tragic that THATS the person i used to get along with so GOOD. so long ago and getting longer. yet i cant fookin get over it.

but couldnt contacting her give me some information and some answers and some closure hahahahaha and it might HELP me get over her?

yeah or i would just get right back into the shit. pretty sure looking at this profile regularly would be a HORRIBLE idea.

bbbbbbut she was never the type of gurl to use a sleazy dating site!

bbbbbbut she was never the type of gurl who would just GIVE UP on a person like that!

bbbbbbut she was never the type of gurl to take 10000000 cox from degenerate sodomites on a casual sex site hahahaha.

un fookin believable. i hate wimmin hahahaha. fook me i should have NEVER looked at that page. never looked FOR it. DONT DO IT AGAIN.

ok i deleted her thing from my history and made my stupid okc profile more pro-white and 1488 ish hahahahaha. well shit, she will probably see that i visited her profile and then come visit mine, and might be able to figure out its me. hehehehe. i put her on my “HIDE” list so……whatever that means. what if she sends me a message. oh i hope she does hahahahaha.

so now i will unhide her for about a week to see if she visits my profile. cuz you can see who visits your profile. creepy guys like me talking about how much they hate stupid sluts and can YOU pass my tests and meet my uncompromisingly high standardz muhahahahahaha

i would just say, hey i dont appreciate being TALAPOG, that hurt me a LOT, i wish you had shown ME the respect i deserved instead of being too COWARDLY to deal with the situation like an adult.

come on. before you meet other cox you can fook and throw away, have recreational secs and just play with the creation of human life, take care of the shitty things YOU did in YOUR past so you can move forward with a clearer conscience. i hope it eats her alive hahahahahahaha.

have you ever thrown someone away like a piece of garbage?

did they REALLY deserve it? did they REALLY? did they abuse you, cheat on you? did they REALLY betray you? or were you just an immature coward who wanted to avoid confrontation? would rather avoid confrontation and communication than do the right thing regarding a long term relship.

i never did anything like that to anyone! and if i ever came close (i didnt) i APOLOGIZED to them and they said hey no problem, its not as bad as you think. like in 2005 when i felt guilty because i felt i was sorta ignoring some friends in favor of other friends. so later in 2014 i apologized to the people i felt i might have been ignoring and they said what u talkin about, aint no thang.

0217

shit looking at that okcupid thing was a horrible idea. ruined muh day. i was losing sleep thinking about that bullshit even more than usual. so today i deactivated /  disabled okcupid, not like i want to meet anyone new anyway, still obsessed with her. addicted to a person. CODEPENDENT.

basically, she would rather throw away something GOOD because she would RATHER have casual secs with sleazy internet sleazbags from okcupid and tinder. she would rather throw me away, a guy who really luved her, to be with a bunch of tattooed pill poppers. that that scum of the earth is better than me. a decent guy who really luved her and would be there for her. just throw that guy out because its funner to make babies with deadbeats. unbelievable.

and SHE refuses to talk to ME! she blocked ME, like i am such a monster, when SHE does these MONSTROUS things! a monster saying that I am too monstrous to talk to HER!!!!!!!!!!

thing is, she’s not any more monstrous than any other average woman.

basically, i want to MATTER to somebody. to a woman i mean hahahaha. i want to MATTER to women like i have MATTERED to some of muh male friends. leave an IMPACT. be someone you never really forget. someone that takes a long time to Get Over. you arent just deleted, forgotten, and replaced. i hate that feeling. even with other women, there was the feeling of: OK im done with you now, id rather meet new guys now.

i try to treat everyone as the special snowflake they are. everyone is unique and special in their own way. i have NEVER been into short term relationships. NEVER. because these are not just pieces of meat or garbage or material, they are living breathing PEOPLE with hopes and dreams and fears and insecurities and talents and gifts and value and worth. you CANT just replace ANYONE. and it bothers me that women have treated me like i was so dispensable, expendable, unimportant. disposable, replaceable. male friends never treated me like that!

its like women dont understand the value of human life! just cycling through a revolving door of people. meeting, fooking, replacing, maybe getting briefly infatuated but never really loving anyone or respecting anyone. no WONDER they can cheat and lie and kill their babies hahaha.

i wonder if women have been duped into thinking that giving up their babies for adoption is actually worse (more immoral) than ABORTION. because they’ve equated adoption with “a mother abandoning her child to a stranger”, and abortion to “a mercy killing of a clump of cells that hasnt had time to become a real human life yet.”

hehehe total MORAL INVERSION. ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

and this is just a sign of the CURRENT Race War: that our WOMEN have been completely RUINED and turned into inhuman monsters. nightmarish hellish doom creatures hahaha. that is what has become of the beauty of the white woman.

there is nothing but a barren crater where my heart once was and it is unlikely i will ever love a woman again. i will likely always hate women. but I will always have love in my heart for my race, and by association, the women of my race. yet i have to accept that 99% of white women are GARBAGE. and i hate seeing the most beautiful, best women in the world, being corrupted and ruined into such disgusting garbage. these should be wives and mothers, raising the next generation of beautiful white children. instead they have become degenerate sodomite garbage worthy of no white man. maybe in a white nation they could function as brood mares. but they are capable of being so much MORE than brood mares.  plus the ideal society probably shouldnt even HAVE brood mares, because healthy white families would produce all the white children you need. also it seems unnatural to separate a mother from her children. so how about just abort the children hahahaha.

how about you just show me youre not a MONSTER who does monstrous things to me.

ACKNOWLEDGE that what you did HURT ME and show remorse for that.

maybe show that YOU are in pain too, that this isnt easy for you either. show me that i mattered to you.

because i didnt just lose someone i luved, i lost what i THOUGHT was a good friend. overnight. in the blink of an eye. but Relships just DONT, CANT end that way. you cant just shoot them in the head and theyre dead. its more like you stab them in the heart and they Bleed Out for Months, Dying in Agony. i would take a bullet in the head any day over that! all figurative speaking of course.

to have someone go from Good Friend to NOTHING, just gone from your life forever, overnight.

one day they were a good important friend. next day they are like i dont know you any more i never knew you. go from 100 to 0 overnight. people and relationships JUST DONT WORK THAT WAY, i dont care HOW degenerate and desouled you are.

just treat me as a human being, show that you care i am hurting. show some damn care for me. just TRY not to hurt me excessively. i never tried to hurt her. i never wanted to hurt her. i always showed care and love and kindness and mercy for her, even if i was afraid to blurt out my feelings. but i never THALAPOG. she was very valuable to me and i tried to show her that. i was apparently not very valuable to her, cuz she never tried to show me otherwise.

SHOW ME that i’m valuable to you. TREAT ME like im valuable to you.

i literally could not possibly treat another human being this way.

that shes been hurt before is no excuse!!!!!!!!!! IVE been hurt before and if ANYTHING, it’s reassured me that I WILL NEVER, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, EVER TREAT SOMEONE THE HORRIBLE WAY I HAVE BEEN TREATED.

if anything, being treated that way yourself should GUARANTEE you will never do the same thing yourself to another person!

so fook that, i dont care how many times other people have hurt her. ITS NO EXCUSE.

you think i ever wanted to hurt her like this? NO! i wanted to be her WHITE KNIGHT and protect her from all harm!

mgtow phaggots mock husbands for “white knighting” for their wives, and not quite understanding that husbands are SUPPOSED to “white knight” for their wives. that in the ideal rel, BOTH people put their spouses on a pedestal. you have chosen this person as one of the most important people in your life. you enter into this special social contract willingly.

now you shouldnt white knight some WHORE who doesnt deserve it…….but i honestly thought she deserved it! no kids, low cok count, appeared to take relships seriously……………………until she met me hahahahahahaha.

i mean i take note of what kind of men they choose and how they treat men. if they are always dumping men , take another cok, lose interest quickly, dump the guy, repeat the process REGULARLY and QUICKLY. always a bad sign. so when i met a woman who had had really only one BF, i thought I had found a woman who was good for me. my ideal woman does not cycle through men like a……….cok carousel hahahaha. it ruins the women and its not really fair to the men either, well, the men like me who still fall in luv, and want a traditional long term monogamous rel.

and its OBSCENE that any woman WOULD want anything BUT a traditional, long term, monogamous rel. okcupid now gives you an option for “monogamous” or “non monogamous.” ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

its OBSCENE that any woman would want ANYTHING BUT a Monogamous Relationship.

THIS is how ruined and destroyed our once-beautiful white women are. this is how white genocide is being committed. this IS a RACE WAR NOW.  you could make a strong case for these RACE TRAITORS to go on the day of the rope…….but i am big softie and have an inborn urge to white knight for white women. i dont want to punish even the race traitors. just make them brood mares, harvest their eggs, maybe make them a prostitute caste, or ideally just banish them to live among the nonwhite hordes they love so much more than their own men.

this is how absolutely destroyed our women are. they view non-monogamy as a viable alternative.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

honestly. dont want to confront me in person? write me a letter or an email! a long email!

uhhhh well tell her that.

but i cant tell HER ANYTHING because its been too LONG and it would make me LOOK CREEPY. and then im instantly the bad guy because i LOOKED CREEPY. and thats how bitches win every argument and always take the high road (in a low down manner!) by claiming that EVERYTHINGS abuse, EVERYTHINGS betrayal, EVERYTHINGS creepy, EVERYTHINGS weird, EVERYTHING makes them uncomfortable, and the second a woman accuses you of making her feel UNCOMFORTABLE, youre as bad as a Racist Rapist. because you “made” an Emotional Retarded Infant feel Uncomfortable for something shitty THEY did.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

aiMo1Qj

hehehehe i hate women even more than stefan molyneux does. yeah well i cant blame him. women are fooking MONSTROUS MONSTERS, who once you think youve seen the depths of their degeneracy and evil, just keep getting worse and worse. from the collective average women, to the individual women that you truly love. will keep finding new and twisted ways to destroy you, and defile themselves.

heh. just try to dump me in a way that isnt gonna make me HATE WOMEN.

really, just dump me in a way that isnt gonna make me hate YOU.

i guess its easier said than done, but…….not really. respond to communication, dont treat it like you holding a persons head underwater until they finally stop thrashing, and just shut up and die already.

ok ok ok well its ok and even good for me to hate HER, but i dont NEED to hate all women, because…..

not all women are like that

not all women are like that

not all women are like that

not all women are like that

not all women are like that.

its funny. i am DESPERATE to believe this mantra, to convince myself that not all women are horrible pieces of shit who will break your heart in the worst ways imagineable………but one of the first “Red Pills” is that, yes, all women ARE like that, or at least 99.9999999% of them are, or that 100% of women Can Easily Become Like That.

i dont care. i just NEED TO BELIEVE that NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT or else i will fooking hate all women hahahaha and i dont WANT to hate all women. white women are the mothers of the white race. and i will gladly White Knight for White Women all day long.

well, the ones that arent monstrous degenerates, sodomites, race traitors, non monagamous. the .0000000000001% who Arent Like That hahahahaha.

but it IS easier for women to replace men. how hard you think it is for her to find a gainfully employed, somewhat handsome, charming man who wont abuse or cheat on her? they are LINING UP to meet her on tinder and okcupid.

meanwhile, how hard do you think it will be for me to find a young, attractive, low number, no children, easy to get along with woman? super hard! i still find it hard to believe i ever met HER! and that i got along with her so well, instantly! and i never thought it would end this way.

not all women are like that!

i dont WANT all women to be like that.

i dont WANT to hate all women!

its PATHETIC to hate all women!

plus i KNOW not all women are like that!

one of the only things that gives me hope is that Woman2012 The Asexual is not like that, she did not treat me like that, she gave a MASTER COURSE in how to reject a man politely and I will Forever Respect her for the way she rejected me hahahahaha.

and she didnt need to experience 100000 cox to learn how to do it. she just Empathized, and thought of how she wanted to be treated, and probably talked to her Father whom she had a good rel with, and he said, welp, rejection is never fun, and a proper woman like my daughter should not be a huge cvnt when rejecting guys unless they are like harrassing her, in which case i the father will intervene with my sidearm.

but yeah these fatherless gurls are just a mess. i should have stayed far away. but no. i was happy that she didnt have the NORMAL daddy issues of being a huge whore. so she ended up having the OTHER daddy issues of she abandons good men and is loyal only to men who dont love her. im talking about That Person.

wwwwwwhat if i had just gotten her pregnant? used a baby to trap her in a life that would ultimately be good for me, good for her, good for the white race?

well she might have just aborted the child anyway; dumped me anyway; i could have gone crazy and K’d myself because i cant take care of a white child; and also she WOULDNT EVEN HANG OUT WITH ME, how the hell was i supposed to get her pregnant. she’d rather hang out with pill popping neck tattoo types on tinder, diseased players, and get diseases from them, than hang out with worthless ol me. boo hoo.

more fun to get diseases from random trashy guys, than to hang out with a guy she knows and can trust and who has her best interests in mind and used to respect her before she treated him LAPOG.

hey she COULD trust me. i never did anything to hurt her. i luved her. i would have been there for her good times and bad.

but she left me in the LURCH when i needed her the MOST.

no SHIT im insecure about women leaving me:

BECAUSE THEY LEAVE ME WHEN I NEED THEM THE MOST!!!!!!!!!!

WHO WOULDNT BE INSECURE ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!??????

thats why i hate women who hate insecure guys. because if a PERSON is insecure about something…..THEY USUALLY HAVE A DAMN GOOD REASON FOR IT.

they have Abandonment Issues because their father abandoned them as a child.

they have abandonment issues because they had 5 husbands who left to go get a pack of cigarettes and never came back.

they have abandonment issues BECUASE THEY WERE ABANDONED!!!!

women2004 and 2005 i am 100% over, i really never KNEW them. we rushed through all the stages of a rel and none of it was real. it took me like 2 years to get over them which was too long, but i never really knew them. nothing real there. just a rushed-through simulation that left me hanging.

anyway That Person, i actually KNEW her, for YEARS, so that makes that hard. when you lose a good friend of years because they simply decide they dont want to respond to you ever again. its MIND BOGGLING. theres no way your mind and heart COULD be prepared for something SO UNNATURAL.

you dont throw your friends away like garbage.

well she would say thats what I did when i got feelings. well shes WRONG. i wanted to change the friendship, i was aware that things were changing, but….that didnt change the past and history and friendship we had. that was established. that was THERE. you just CANT swipe it away in one flush. she seems to think you can. i know that you cant. cuz when SHE tried to flush me away with one flush, well i felt pain for months and months. obsessive agonizing pain every day.

THAT is how a normal person feels when their friend is taken away from them.

i didnt REVOKE our friendship on the spot my getting feelings.

if anything, she TRIED to revoke our friendship on the spot by TMALAPOG and refusing to talk to me about it.

I was willing to reconcile. she was NOT willing to reconcile. therefore we had irreconcilable differences….all because of her.

she literally tried to revoke our friendship on the spot. I knew it couldnt be done. there were fooking ROOTS there, you cant just tear up years of roots without shitloads of pain.

also if she was feeling any pain, i would have liked to know it was painful for her. i wanted her to share this pain with me, let me know this was hard for her too. of course she denied me that too.

appreciate that i am a human being with feelings and had Deep Roots with you and you CANT just throw me away. acknowledge the pain.

and here i am like an idiot neet because i can deal with getting my heart broke, and she is over me and wants to get fooked by tyrone and chad and billy bob and dewayne.

i honestly think she is scared of being really LOVED by a man, and i had loved her more than any man ever had before, including her long term boifran, including her own FATHER, so…..that scared her away like the deer or rabbit that runs away from the slightest rustling.

and she was that scared deer. but she let me get close to her before she ran away. so when she ran away she left me completely heartbroken.

they make a MOCKERY of humanity and human relationships! who LIKES being RUSHED through a SIMULATION of relships, then discarded and replaced? no one SHOULD like this! They should say, this is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING and an ABOMINATION to turn a beautiful human relationship into DEGENERATE SODOMY like this. and treat HUMAN BEINGS just as clumps of parasite cells that you abort willy nilly.

women2004 and 5 treated me better in the rejection…..but they still rushed through the Relationship Simulator in an Absolutely Disgusting Way; even if you are The Rejector and not the REjected, i cant imagine how its PLEASANT to go through Fake Phony Relationships like that repeatedly! are these women even human beings????!?!?!?!?!

every time i get close to a woman i get heartbroken and have to ask myself that fundamental question: is this even a human being, or some kind of of evil lizard? CRAB PEOPLE?

i dunno. in comparison to This Woman, Those Women treated me better in the dumping, although the actual rels themselves were much shittier. never had such a good rel end so badly.

its not theoretically a betrayal. see even i as the Conquered, have enough insight to see its not REALLY a BETRAYAL per se, while she goes off thinking i betrayed her, i abused her, i was weird to her, whatever the fook she thinks, which i will never know.

NOBODY likes to be abandoned. its a PRIMAL FEAR for EVERYONE. so if some bitch gives you a shit test, just be like, so YOU like being abandoned? didnt think so. EVERYONE has abandonment issues because abandonment is a BAD thing like cancer. what, you have cancer issues too baby? rape issues?

ABANDONMENT IS INHERENTLY BAD and NOBODY likes it.

now i understand that you can be in a rel, and be SO AFRAID that your BF/GF will leave you……that you push them away and they LEAVE you. because they cant do enough to so you can trust them.

but if they leave you without making an effort, and were clearly no invested in the rel…..then you couldnt trust them anyway!!!!

i mean when they dont give you ANYTHING to show they are invested. its not like she was doing a lot and i was STILL doubting her. She was doing NOTHING and I was saying yes I know we can work this out baby, we can do it! our friendship is strong enough to survive! lets just communicate!

i pushed her away with “weirdness” that was really just me WANTING TO HANG OUT WITH HER. WE NEVER FOOKING HUNG OUT ANY MORE. and when someone stops being WILLING to hang out with you, that rel is OVER.

i wasnt coming at her and accusing her of abandoning me. i was just saying please hang out with me, i miss hanging out wiht you.

so yeah i can understand people can get pushed away if you always suspect them of being about to abandon you.

but what if they are always distant to you and never want to hang out with you and dont show love to you and they DO abandon you?

and then you contact them and say please dont do it like this, please help me get a LITTLE more closure, please dont throw me away like a piece of garbage…..and in response, they BLOCK you!!!! basically reject your request to be treated like a human being. DAMN. youre just asking for a little respect, and they say FOOK NO to your request. what the hell do you do there. well you just try to forget the person and get over them, they obviously were not good for you hahahahaha.

but its fookin HARD. when you really LUV a person!

MEN ARE GOOD COMMUNICATORS, WOMEN ARE HORRIBLE COMMUNICATORS

0210

ok. the doc wants me to come in for damn office visit, and i said if it comes to that, then i will argue for a higher dose of citalopram. go from 20 to i dunno 40. i aint no doctor hahahaha.

but hopefully the doc approves and also that the increased dose miraculously transforms my lazy and shitty brain hahahahah and gives me the alpha confidence needed to get a 12 DAHJ hahahaha. thats not even enough to hang out with white people. i was eavesdropping on some successful whites younger than me that were judging someone for making 25k a year hahahahahahahahaha.

i luv white people and being white but my god they know how to cut a person down to size: you are unworthy because you only make 25k a year. wow. hehehehehe of course i have only made 25k a year or more in one year of my life hahahaha.

it was an ok feeling being a bigboy, but my mind was also a Train Wreck In Slow Motion because i cant handle Normal Emotional Stress than Normies Can. meaning i need to learn to Self Soothe better. not use drugs, or alcohol, or whatever. i have valiums that i can pop in an emergency hahahaha but i am saving those for on the job stress.

yeah its one thing when you have never hung out with a gurl and she gives you excuses over and over again for not hanging out. its a TOTALLY DIFFERENT thing when you used to be friends and USED to hang out regularly and easily, and then the hanging out stops for a damn long time, and you have to Just Accept that they dont want to hang out with you any more. well its hard to accept. for me, the issue needs to be confronted directly. i just cant hear “well hang out someday” and just ACCEPT that we will never hang out again because thats the hint, thats the signal i should be reading.

still i want dr phil and his female staffers to agree with me that its shitty to end a long term friendship that has become complicated, without even a message.

yep i cant imagine ever getting feelings for a woman again.

and if i do? i almost dont want to, because feelings are BAD and feelings HURT you so much you become a damn wreck and remind yourself of what a fookin crazy weak unfit non normie failure at life you are, you cant handle or deal with life and luv and feelings and rejection, you are defective and broken hahahaha.

theres no damn textbook for this! theres no classroom for this! but there should be! i mean these situations might not happen to EVERYONE but they probably happen to 25-50% of people and thats good enough to be written about and have Expert Opinions on!

so yeah thats what i want to make sure the world court knows. i wasnt some random beta orbiter who never hung out with her, who was begging for Babys First Hangout. I had hung out with her quite a bit over the previous couple years. then the hanging out stopped and i got frustrated.

and the hanging out, when it happened, was the result of a pretty much effortless Friendship where i didnt DO anything special. I just went with the Flow and didnt have to worry about making the right decisions and analyzing anything. now when i say effortless i dont mean that i didnt put anything IN.  like i didnt put in any “effort.” or i blew her off. we each gave and we each got. it was an equal exchange. we were on the same page. there was no overcompensation or overtrying or anything. it was very natural, smooth, easy, fun, good, no drama, no ridiculousness, no me scheming like an omega to try to get a hangout in her busy schedule once every 6 months, no trying to lead her to anything. we just made small talk very naturally and became friends very naturally and that was so rare for me and i was grateful to get along with a woman so easily.  so yeah of course it sucks to have that go SO WRONG.

google how do you convince your female friend you didnt betray them by getting feelings for them hahaha

google how to convince your gf that you are not abusing her when you are really not abusing her

i mean shit. dont YOU feel better when you are NOT hurting people?

thats what gets me about the easy way out argument. over the long term, i would just feel too damn guilty about hurting someone, and that guilt would push me to apologize to them eventually. just to try to get rid of the pain of my own damn guilt. how can you live with that?

how could you live with someone who could live with that hahahahaha.

how can you get along SO WELL….and then end up getting along SO SHITTY. wasnt all that good will and getting along….didnt that build some kind of foundation that couldnt be easily swept away?

heh. i used to be a leftist feminist because i believed women could be treated as Adults who could make decisions, do the right thing, be decent people, hahahaha. and i hate being proven wrong over and over again. that you HAVE to treat women like stupid children or else they will fook you over.

well w2012 was mature. she handled things very well.

but she was a Lesbian!

well i dont KNOW that for SURE. i just suspect it. if anything she was asexual.

so then i can disqualify her because shes not NORMAL. so if a woman treats me with respect………SHES NOT NORMAL.  if a woman rejects me in a grown up respectful way……..SHES NOT NORMAL. Normal women BTFO you and make you wish youd never been born hahahahaha.

i wasnt treated like SHIT!  I was treated exactly the way i deserved! i brought it on myself!

see these thoughts keep coming back.

i mean i can read signals but for important things, i dont rely on signals alone. i need to have the awkward talk.

SO i can apply that same standard to her! if SHE was about to make an important decision, ie, dump me, get out of rel……couldnt SHE have wanted to TALK about it to confirm the signals she was getting from ME? something like, your signals seem to say that you like me, is that accurate? then i would say errrrrrrrrrrrm yes, im sorry i didnt bring this up early but i was trying, but anyway im glad we are talking now thank you, but yes i do have feelings for you

ok all i needed to know, thanks for confirming. so now im gonna dump you.

maybe she was that confident that my signals said what was on my mind. so that she could just Take The Hint and Not Have To Talk about it.

heh. its just stupid how bad women are at communicating. worst communicators ever. they act like men are such bad communicators but men are THE BEST communicators, women are HORRIBLE at it. period.

no thats not true oh god it cant be true hahahahaha.

but if i just ACCEPTED that women are stupid children then i would be much more at peace with the world!

i dunno maybe. yet the shrink i see once every 3 weeks is a WOMAN and good lord the DOCTOR i am going to see tomorrow is a WOMAN. and i dont particularly distrust them to do jobs that take intelligence and skill and good judgment!

but im not in an Intimate Rel with them, or looking to be! maybe they are like stupid fooking children in their own intimate rels!

or they are married to Tough Alpha Men who dont take their fookin bullshit and say you better not act like a litle child or IM GONE.

well basically if someone is ANGRY at you but they REFUSE to talk to you…….uhhh then thats kinda the end of that. but yeah that makes me feel like i wasnt given a chance. not even talking about “give luv a chance.” no. i mean, give ME a chance to just be heard and be understood. not asking for luv. just asking for a Seat At The Discussion Table.

it would have been LESS complicated if we were actually dating ie fooking. because then it would have been easier to blame her, paint her as the bad guy, and say i REALLY didnt deserve this. but since we werent, the dr phil jury can say, well, she felt you betrayed the friendship when you got feelings, so shes just acting in accordance with that.

0211

heh. went to docker to extend rx for citalopram and also try to increase the dose. the whole appt was smooth and easy like a little angel. well apart from them unlocking the front door a little late after “LUNCH” and there being an arab man and wife with two small children (one baby) and speaking arabic hahahahaha. there was a white male medical assistant which i dont see those very much so good for him. then i was visited by a white male “extern” who i just assumed was a medical student? or maybe he passed his medical tests and was now doing a residency or internship at a hospital. even better. he was younger than me but there are full blown MDs who are younger than me now lololololol. but he was nice and he was white so even if he was a 101 iq white moron like me, i was happy.

i didnt even have to go in great detail about why i wanted an increase and give euphemisms for the emotional wreckage that is my stupid pain in the ass brain, doctor just said ok we can increase, see you in 6 months.

ANYWAY it was kinda weird they let people stand out in the cold for a good 3 minutes because it is like 18 degrees and really too cold to stand outside for 3 minuets hahahaha.

the waifview, an alt right womens podcast, on this one they talk about ABORTION and they are not anti abortion enough for me hahahaha. they need a MAN to MANSPLAIN how their female bodies work and how Human Life Works.

i dunno i am not really interested in listening to Women Talk right now, i am so woman hating i will disagree with everythign any woman says, even an Alt Right Women. will not be anti abortion enough for me, anti slut enough for me.

as they say on the fatherland, i am letting the Perfect be the Enemy of the Good. meaning, you kinda throw out the baby with the bathwater. meaning, you get so perfectionistic that you will not accept anything less than 100% success, so you miss out and have opportunity costs when you coulda done pretty good otherwise, but pretty good isnt good enough for you, because you were holding out for perfect.

i dunno. its JUST RIDICULOUS that someone would think this is an acceptable way to End A Rel. Like, a Rel that had gone on for 3 years and had a lot of good in it. its just not a proper way to end a rel. youre supposed to show respect for the good times.

AYO HOL UP

thats what im trying to tell you DR PHIL.

not that i EXPECTED any LUV in return, but i DID expect that the relship would be ended in a more DIGNIFIED, RESPECTFUL way, more befitting a good and friendly and important long term rel. rather than try to pretend it never existed. because it damn sure DID exist. i just wanted her to tell me We Had Some Good Times. why do i need HER to tell me that? I know we did! well because i need to hear her say it, so i know its wasnt ALL IN MY MIND. but i KNOW it wasnt all in my mind. i felt that our peak was about sept 2013 thru sept 2014. approx.

i dunno. i guess i need to know it was important and good for her too.

ay hol up the 19 year old boy i gave compassionate advice to on his bitch gurlfran messaged me and said i was nice and he wanted to ask me some more questions. i did not reply hahahahahahah. well i dont have a 3 year relship with him. i mean she is gonna not give him a fair chance, and dump him, hes gonna be heartbroken, and thats all there is to it. just get with other young girls while u are in college man. bang some other young beautiful slut, try to forget the other young beautiful slut, theyre all the same, and they will never be this hot again hahahaha.

also i just hate the idea that the whole thing was in my head, becuase with other women, the whole thing was in my head. but here, the whole thing was NOT in my head in the sense that we had SOME sort of actual real life rel that she got something out of as well as me. even just to be liked as a friend is important. for a woman to show any loyalty and long term friendship with me is important. usually i am just some unimportant idiot whos around for a few months. and the way shit ended, she was acting like i was not important, and the rel was not important, and made it real easy to paint the whole rel with that horrible brush. i liked that she liked me in other words, and i dont like thinking that was a fake.

0212

i dunno. the decent thing to do would say, awwww, he still likes me, he is gonna be hurt, i dont want to hurt him too much, he doesnt deserve that. and NOT: he is a huge piece of shit and deserves all the pain he gets, i hope he suffers a LOT, hope he K’s himself because thats what a huge peice of shit he is! how can you TURN on somebody like that, and understand a situation SO wrong?

oh well at least i was approved for 40 mg citalopram, up from 20.

yesterday i was driving on the road that i usually took to muh job and i suddenly got a deep feeling of dread, like i was going in for 8+ hours of awful bullshit, answering a constantly ringing phone and wondering how i was gonna handle the ridiculous questions. drinking too much coffee and always having to p00p. putting up with female “friend” being a huge bitch. having to tell people i have no idea whats going on, i cant help you, i dont know, and i cant put you in touch with someone who can help you. you are just out of luck, there is nothing we can do. i dont think. sorry you dont think think i understand your issue. becuase i sort of do hahahahaha. i just dont understand why my higher ups refuse to try to fix it. probably because they think it will cost too much money. but i dont understand their line of reasoning there. I would love to have a higher up take a look at the case for 1 hour before they came to that conclusion. but they SHUT IT DOWN. im on your side buddy, i really went to bat for you against those higher up bastards hahahaha but they shut it down.

i cant even talk to the people who are advising me, you think YOU can talk to them? i am trying to get their attention in a chat room, like a piggie fighting for a tit. and hell no im not sure he understood your problem as i hurriedly tried to explain it in one sentence that quickly scrolled away in the chat room. cuz his explanation sure didnt make sense? however the issue didnt make sense to me to begin with, thats why i asked for help, so i was in no position to be able to evaluate if his RESPONSE made sense.

and this was our job, hour after hour, day after day. this is why i went home and STUDIED job stuff. this is why i came in early to read emails and memos and memorize flashcards. this is why i stayed late to HELP newer people.

the whole fookin thing was disgusting hahahaha. and when i got a “flashback” of it yesterday while driving on that road….i was glad i was done with that place hahaha.

i dont know what to do!!!!!

FIGURE IT OUT. that was essentially our job. and if you didnt figure it out right, welp, it would probably break again within 48 hours, they would call back, and now because it was a persistent issue, it could be escalated for someone “SMARTER” to look at and maybe come up with a better line of bullshit to explain it.

i dunno. i Empathized with the callers too much. I didnt like telling them things couldnt be fixed, and I understood how a simple explanation could go a long way: if you cant fix it, at least try to explain it to me. and when you couldnt even do THAT……extreme anger and frustration ensued. i thought how can our company get away with this?

because they werent REALLY serious problems. but i didnt understand how they werent serious problems.

heh. its kinda like you spend your life thinking youre smart, then take an iq test and discover you have a 101 iq. perfectly average. the job underminded muh confidence and taught me, ya know, im just not as smart as i think i am. i dunno the solution to your problem. i dont have anything i can say to know. i just dunno. sorry. youre calling me for help and to fix shit, and the best i can do for you is say I DUNNO.  i cant transfer you to someone more experienced because they wont approve it. because they are trying to limit the mobs of people trying to get answers from them. because SO MANY PEOPLE want answers, but SO FEW PEOPLE have them.

realistically, you shouldnt call tier 1 and expect anything close to an explanation. you should EXPECT someone who sounds untrained, who SOUNDS like they dont really know what theyre doing, like they are grasping at straws, and you should EXPECT that they wont be able to transfer you to someone “better” until theyve struggled with your issue for at least 30 minutes.

i dunno i guess all help desks arent THAT bad. all call centers arent THAT bad. all women arent THAT bad. but are they?

also i was thankful that the callers were mostly polite and understanding and nice. so is that the tradeoff you must make? for nice callers, you must accept impossible issues? fr easy issues, you must accept horrible callers?

how about you just get a question and answer it and you are confident that you actually did the right thing.

yeah but if you didnt, it would just break again the next day and then it would get escalated and a smarter person would find a better answer to it.

well i used to keep track of everything i got escalated so i could look at it later and see what was done. (this is just one Marker of Excellence which separated me from the Average Mediocrity of my female former friend, who had a very black, r-selected approach: just give shitty wrong answers, and not care about it.  rather than like me, obsess over The Truth and Finding The Right Answer, and getting frustrated and flustered over all that. just Accept The Shit, and stop being flustered over giving wrong answers. that was her solution. to someone who strives to be an Excellent White, that shit sounds black as hell to me. high time preference, unhelpful black mamma jamma trying to get this cracka off the phone as quickly as possible, give them the RUNAROUND, PASS THE BUCK.

i might only be 101 iq, but she was at LEAST 10 below me. like where you can tell there is a MARKED difference. she is SIGNIFICANTLY dumber than me. like 90 iq at best she was. hahahahhaa. but i didnt care. and i kinda liked being the smarter one. especially if she looked up to me and thought i was smart. that was a confidence builder for me too.

i am not looking for a damn intellectual equal hahahaha. also i am not nearly as smart as i thought i was anyway. i probably dont have the capacity to solve basic computer problems anyway hahahaha. i am ideally looking for someone a LITTLE dumber than me. someone who thinks IM smart. i used to LAMENT that women were so DUMB and WHY CANT i find an Intellectual Equal, well, a large part of this is Just What Women Are, and you gotta learn to ACCEPT it. and i did!

i just now refuse to accept that they have to be huge sluts with over 10 guys.

i dunno. i will just never understand why she got SO UPSET with me. well because i guess when you get feelings for a female friend, its the worst thing ever, makes you worse than a child molester hahaha.

oh yeah also i never stalked or harrassed her. i sent her 3 emails over 34 days. even 1 LONG email per 11 days is not TOO much.

i mean i WANTED to contact her EVERY DAY: PLEASE RESPOND to me, please acknowledge me, please show me you care about my feelings, please anything. but i didnt hahahahaha. because i was that serious about not STALKING. not that its STALKING to want somebody to Give You A Statement When They Dump You.

i just dont like that she got everything she wanted out of this and i got nothing hahahahaha. she got to get rid of me with no guilt, no effort. well who knows. maybe she DOES feel guilty. i HOPE she does!!!!!!!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/45cdkb/i_tried_29f_to_break_up_in_a_friendly_way_with_my/

see this gurl TRIED to break up with this guy in a nice way, but he made it impossible because he was a huge douchebag hahahahaha.

heh. last night took nyquil and went to bed at 730 pm, did not get out of bed until almost 4 pm the next day hahahahah. WOW. i didnt feel super sad or derpressed, just didnt want to get out of bed for 20 hours.

PLENTY of people WANT to stay in bed for 20 hours, but CANT because they have RESPONSIBILITIES!

0213

ok well basically i felt i meant more to that person, than for her to be able to TMALAPOG.  imho its HARD to do that to somebody unless you HATE them and never want to see them again. like your WIFE cheated on you with your BEST friend, over and over again, all your friends. and even then i would give them a note, like good riddance to you you piece of shit, rot in hell you piece of shit, i wish i never met you, may the rest of your shitty life be CURSED. something like that.

yeah its just mind blowing. trying to think how somebody could DO that. even if its “Easy way out” of avoiding confrontation. you can send a text and still avoid confrontation.

hehehehe. i am essentially the person who gets DUMPED via post it note, or fax, and then i turn it around on myself and say, wow, i must be a REAL piece of shit to deserve THIS!

when the joke is, it reflects very poorly on the person doing the dumping. makes them look like a jerk/coward. that is the intended reaction/punchline to the classic joke of “i was dumped via a post it note.”

i was dumped via a text.

shit i would have luved for the LUXURY of being dumped with a post it note or a text!!!

but yeah. the overwhelmingly appropriate reaction is, fook that coward, you deserve way better, dont waste a minute being upset about them!

heheheheh. i guess she needs to waste a few more years dating Jerks who dont treat her well, and i need to waste even more years being Alone hahahahahah.

hahahaha i have been nothing but alone and these women have been nothing but With Men, and I still know more about Relationships and Communication than THEY do. namely treat people the way you want to be treated. and how would YOU treat THEM if the situation was reversed? youd treat them a HELL of a lot better than they are treating you. they are not giving you a fair shake at all. theyre not putting ANY damn EFFORT it. they dont CARE, theyre not WILLING to do any work. they just want you to instantly be a less annoying person. damn.

oh i got dumped with a TEXT, i must have done something REALLY bad!

NO! you say DAMN what a JERK who dumped me with a TEXT!

and this was 9000000 times WORSE! i would have LOVED a text!

its like married at first site. all the couples are idiots and will probably fail because the women are all so stupid, and are always mad at the men for stupid reasons, and expect the men to read their stupid minds, while the men are desperately trying to communicate, saying please just communicate with me, dont run away from this! and the women run away from it and say UGH i need SPACE to PROCESS this, meanwhile the man is frustrated and has no idea what is going on. becuase the WOMAN is not WILLING to communicate. its so stupid to see.

there is david and ashley and she accuses him of texting another woman to “go out for drinks” when really it was just a huge misunderstanding happening at a pretty bad timing. then she hits him with this. he tries to explain it but she is not willing to listen to his side of the story. really all it is is an unfortunate misunderstanding, its not what it looks like.

anyway she is COMPLETELY UNWILLING to listen to his side of the story. ironically enough he was trying to Reach Out to one of Her Facebook Friends so he could learn more about Her and how to Treat Her Better, because she was a horrible communicator and wouldnt talk to him ever. turns out the woman he picked was just as stupid as his wife, and the woman tattled to the wife ummmm yr husband is like trying trying to go out with me for drinks just thought you should know.

now he gave her no indication that he was looking to cheat, but they have had constant misunderstandings and  miscommuncations because she stubbornly refuses to listen to him or communicate with him and he is udnerstandably getting very frustrated, and always having to give her space, etc. anyway this one doesnt look like it will last, and it will be all her fault, cuz she is not willing to put in any effort at all.

oh well i dont HAVE to put in any effort, becuase this rel is all in your head. see, you luv ME, but i dont luv YOU, therefore, i dont have to do anything for you. i can just throw you away LAPOG.

NOPE! doesnt matter if you dont have feelings. if you have any sort of friendship, you always owe it to your friend, even IF you are having troubles, to never TTALAPOG. Period.

wow, so many shitlibs and women and leftists and cucks and beeta leftists and phaggots and gun haters and swpls and self loathing whites, and j00s and babykillers and blacks all on twitter making very tasteless remarks after the sudden death of justice scalia. i knew he was hated by shitlib traitors but i guess i forgot by how much. really tasteless and classless these phaggots spitting on his grave like this!

but this is kinda a HUGE deal cuz the scotus is ridiculously powerful and scalia was prob one of the good guys

and these privileged self hating whites really hated him like he was hitler or something hahaha saying they are gonna celebrate his death by having all sorts of gay sodomy and abortions and shit, god damn disgusting degenerates!

i was gonna say you dont need to be religious at all to believe many if not most things religious people do.  you can use non religious arguments against abortion, casual sex, pornography, cheating, open relships, all those degen shit that women like to do. you can be a fedora atheist and still be very against those things. in fact i think its kinda MORALLY WEAK to NEED the idea of religion/god to CONVINCE you that those things are immoral. you should be against them because they are obviously wrong on the surface. they hurt other people and do harm to your fellow man. they corrode the soul.

you dont need to be relgious to find these things horribly immoral: casual sex. pronography. abortion. cheating. open rels. its not just about having fun and feeling good. its about having no damn respect for human life, and breaking peoples hearts willy nilly. it sucks!

so yall disgusting degens can go celebrate by doing SODOMY hahahaha. sodomitic secs. damn i should bring that word back. basically meaning any kind of secs done by a degenerate. even PIV secs. if its outside of a monog rel, its SODOMY.

0214

had interesting dream where i heard of a casual sex (swingers?) party and this gurl i liked would be there. thankfully That Woman had nothing to do with this dream. the gurl was this Bad Gurl i liked in 7th and 8th grade, one of the first gurls i ever liked. i would still bang her today if she looked good. i looked at her on facebook like 2 or 3 years ago and she didnt seem to have any kids and looked good enough.

anyway there were lots of black guys at the party and the implication was, if she was not gonna be having casual sex with ME, she would be having casual sex with THEM, and i figured, better me than them, women have no idea how to protect their race. and then we started having casual sex and i found it very profound and meaningful and started developing a connection to her, when it was impossible to say whether she was getting any loyalty to ME.

but yeah just a naked body of an attractive woman up on me, banging them, making out with them, felt good, even if it was a casual sex party and she would have done the same with tons of black guys if i had not shown up.

essentially just a degen sodomite sex party for straights, kinda like the gays have promiscuous standard fook parties and such, only here you have women defiling themselves as well, just passing themselves around for pleasure and sodmy hahahahha.

and then i thought, well if i ever had secs with That Woman, i would fall in love with her even WORSE. yet she goes out and fooks all sorts of creepy sleazy guys and feels nothing, or gets over them very quickly, because the secs means nothing to her, its just a thing that is fun sometimes, youre not offering something special, such as your uterus’s power to make children.

how about a little loyalty, that you are not gonna just Use Me For Secs then Throw Me Away. jeez. sounds like what the worst Cad Men do to women!

women have turned into sleazy Cad Players!

it takes a lot of White Privilege to not say that Scalia was a Monster Who Was Worse Than Hitler hahahaha. if you merely call him a Respected And COntroversial Jurist, you are part of the problem, not part of the solution hahahaha. hiding behind your white privilege to punch down at the oppressed classes which Your Kind has Oppressed for Centuries.

dont treat people like MEAT, dont treat people like GARBAGE. when in doubt, use kindness and tenderness and mercy when brutally using a meat cleaver to end a longterm rel hahahaha.

this is not how you end a longterm rel!

and yet its ok for her to go out and have secs with random sleazebags and show them more loyalty and kindness because its her body, she can do what she wants.

well i cant control the DISGUSTING, IMMORAL degenerate sodomy and murder she does with her body, but I do get to say its horrible and immoral and wrong and degenerate.

and i hate other people getting a chance when i never got a chance. im not REALLY talking about luv and secs, i am basically talking about a chance to be treated like anything other than shit. be kind and loyal and giving and loving to some shitty guy, maybe some black guy youre having casual sex with, and be more kind and loyal and loving to him than a person youve known for 3 years.

basically women disposing of secs partners, of lovers, of friends, of BF’s, of babies, just they way they go through PEOPLE like a MEAT GRINDER is fooking HORRIFYING to me. go through the stages of a relship unnaturally fast, skip entire parts (like the ending), throw you away, lose interest quickly. they dont have the decency to treat you with kindness. they kill they own children, they cheat and lie  and live lies and dont even know how to feel guilt any more hahahaha. they are 900000000000 times bigger MONSTERS than scalia hahahahahaha.

or i should say how the left views scalia.

i just hate how women view secs as such a casual unimportant thing, and i always get nervous and view it as a veyr important thing. but they just give it away like candy. to everyone but me hahahaha.

just dat image of a young womans pale white body glued to yours as you bury your D in her, making out with her, her sighing and moaning and getting aroused. its super intense. how can they not see how intense it is? naked sweaty flesh on flesh. good lord. and with somebody you have feelings for. and there there are right up on you, wrapping legs around you, you staring into their eyes and being closer to them than you have been with a person in 10 years………OR this is just like a casual handshake that you do with lots of people, you’ll get over the novelty and intensity of this very quickly and be looking for new people to do it with.

this is very important to you, and not very important to them at all, it will take you forever to forget this, they will have forgotten it almost immediately and looking for a new guy to take your place.

heh. this is why i put special emphasis on find women i could TRUST, finding women who had not been with LOTS of guys. and i still get treated like garbage hahaha.

heh. everything i learned from previous “relships” did not really come in handy because here, the shit just hit the fan and was over before i knew it. so now i can say, welp, if the woman is AVOIDING me for more than 3 months, then just write an email; and take into account the closeness of our rel.

but yeah on this super cold valentines gay i just want her white body pressed against mine hahahaha.

hahaha this is ridiculous. quake was a big gaym in my high school days and is still full of nostalgia.

jeez. all i want is her back in my life, being friendly to me, then we become more than friends, and have luving secs till the end of time.

when you have secs with someone you love its like a completely different thing. but Women wouldnt know that now would they hahahaha.

i would just tell her: i didnt want you to fall in luv with me. that would have been NICE but all i wanted to just deal with the situation like adults and not end up devastated with the worst ending possible. just reject me nicely and we can get on with our lives.

0215

see i dont even know whats normal and whats not. i have my ridic ideas about whats moral and whats not. but what if its normal and right and just and natural to just dump people LAPOG.

heh. or better yet, to be a pathetic guy THINKING you were thrown away LAPOG but you were just rejected like normal, rejected in a probably decent polite way…..but you just feel snubbed and rejected becuase you were  Ya Know, Rejected, and you’re emotionally compromised and it doesnt register that she did a pretty good job of rejecting you. because now shes DONE with you and you see her getting more Worked Up over new random guys than she ever got over you!

in 2 months she is going CRAZY over some other guy and has totally forgotten you, and you are like, welp she’ll come around. she just doesnt know she luvs me yet hahahahah.

ANYWAY i can GUARANTEE you that i was ACTUALLY TALAPOG. and that she made no effort whatsoever hahaha. at least acknowledge that you were an important person to me. i realize i wasnt important to you AT ALL hahahaha.

yeah but i was. for a time she was nicer to me than any woman had ever been. even if we were not Lovers, there was a Closeness in the Friendship that made it seem more important than a Casual Acquaintanceship. made it seem like a Close Top Tier Friendship, rather than a short lived, not very important friendship. dont lie to yourSELF. you know i was an important person to you!!!!!

basically it was confidence building to know that I Mattered To A Woman, I wasnt some kind of forgettable nobody nothing, that I was important to her and meant something to her and was a big deal in her life and she would have stood up for me and defended me and been loyal to me. but when it ended, i was just as unimportant to her as some random nobody. feels bad man.  just because she was so immature she felt that me getting feelings for her was some kind of Deep Betrayal like Cheating. unbelievable.

but yeah then you doubt, were the good times ever really that good? were we EVER REALLY that close? was this whole thing only in my mind? is this normal?

yeah i guess i just dont like her saying that i meant nothing to her when i am pretty sure i DID mean something to her. i dont appreciate that dishonesty one bit. yeah things can CHANGE and people can have a falling out, but dont DENY THE PAST. esp when there was a lot of good in the past.

so, she is gonna deny the past, and there is nothing i can do about that. its just painful when its more than jsut the past, its ME. she’s denying I had any importance in her life, when i did. when i particularly like being important to women, and particularly dislike being a forgettable nobody that they dispose of and replace quickly and efficiently.

hhahahahaha im not that lame and unlikable. i used to have friends that liked me quite a bit. im still that same person deep down hahahaha. i made an impact on their lives. i just never made an impact on any womans life hahahaha. random guys they had casual secs with had a bigger impact on them than i did hahahaha.

5 minutes with an alpha means more to them than 10 YEARS with a beta hahahaha. and i am actually lesser than a beta.

its kinda like when peter betrayed Ever Knowing Jesus. basically a person denying your existence, saying they never knew you, never met you, were never friends with you, you were nothing to them.  YOU are being denied.

i wish i had moar pictures of me and her, well specifically that SHE had the pictures and would come across them one day and be like yeah i DID know him, i cant DENY that.

what about the little things i gave her, like a mix cd or this other thing i gave her. did she throw them away? bury them in a box and forget about them? the worst would be if they were just sitting out and she looks at them and doesnt even THINK of me. like OH. just some guy i used to know. i dont even remember if i fooked him. oh no. we were just friends for 3 years and he was a good friend but then he betrayed me by getting feelings for me so i cut him loose like he deserved. good riddance. it was pathetic seeing him beg at the end like a pathetic pussy. i need a real man. like tyrone who knocked me up and abandoned me with a bastard baby. oh i wish he would come back to me hahahaha.

yeah i just thought i meant/mattered more to her than that. and i probably did. but she will NEVER admit it.

or i just really DIDNT.

im not even sure which is worse! probably the second. where shes not denying anything. i just really mean nothing to her.

THEN. i meant nothing to her THEN. hahahaha.

i need to get back to the old gym, its been a fookin eternity. i am losing weight though, because i am not eating anything hahahahaha. but i NEED to go to the gym just to damn MOVE. try to do that tonight.

yeah well it doesnt matter if you feel anything NOW. realize that the other person still feels something and just try to do the NICE, DECENT, COURTEOUS thing, how YOU would like to be treated in that situation. simplest, easiest test in the world, for how to be a good person and do the right thing. treat them like you want to be treated. golden fookin rule.

look i wont have many regrets when it comes to things i should have done, ie i wish i had been kinder and nicer and more open to her. i really couldnt have! but she could have been a HELL of a lot nicer to me. she really dropped the ball.

yeah yeah i could have blurted earlier, done something EARLIER. yeah ok i have some regerts about that hahaha. but in terms of, wow, i was a REAL FOOKIN PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE TO HER and I wish i had been nicer. ? NO. none of that. i tried to be decent and willing and cooperate and kind and gentle and patient and giving.

if anything she will be haunted by thoughts of WOW i was really unfair and mean to HIM. hahahaha then she can come apologize to me and we can live happily ever after because i wont have found a better woman by then hahahaha.

you can tell when a woman is WILLING. she will Bend Over Backwards to Please her man, even if the man is being an asshole. she wont walk out the door. she wont shut down. she will be willing to talk. she will be willing to work things out. lets get through this together hunny. she will be willing to hang out. shell be willing to respond to texts and emails. she will want to talk about serious things liek the state of the rel, because she desperately wants to keep the rel going. when she fights and argues and shit tests you, she gives you CHANCE after CHANCE, rather than walking out and giving up on you after no chances. she is willing to fight and work for your luv and for the health of the rel. she is willng to stand by you when the going gets tough. true loyalty. i demand nothing less from my 3d white waifu hahahahaha.

someone who is not on the fence, but on my damn side. not willing to give up. but willing to roll up the sleeves and FIGHT for something important to them. ie me. i am important to them and worth fighting for. that would be fookin noice. very toight.

she was SO not willing to fight. if she were willing to fight…..i would have FELT it. she would have let me know. there wouldnt have been any doubt. she would have been in my face fighting for it, letting me KNOW she was fighting for it. hehehe. she was in actuality the antithesis of fighting for it. she just wanted it to go away and die forever, maybe a little abortion to help flush it out and dispose of it.

OBVIOUSLY you cannot BE with somebody who FEELS this way abotu your Mutual Relationship.

anyway yeah i ADMIT, thats a lot to ASK of somebody, that is a pretty BIG expectation / responsibility. so you simply say, i respectfully decline that responsibility. i cant handle it. its too much for me. we had a good run but now i have to get off. sorry. have a good life. we had some good times together. but im not willing to really fight for this.

that would have been a mature and acceptable thing to say. rather than im gonna get mad at you and never talk to you again.

cant keep your cool in person? write me an email. write me a LETTER. i dont care.

its like ending your membership at planet fatness hahahaha. send me a certified letter. then you know i got it.

come on. we would get each other crimmus presents. she told me things she had never told another person. it wasnt all in my fookin head.

i hate that excuse, it was all in my head, so she didnt owe me anything. well at one point it was an actual living breathing real life rel that was not in my head, and we both had rights and responsibilities, freely given to each other. she trusted me and liked me enough to tell me things she had never told anybody. i appreciated the trust and never betrayed it. to my knowledge hahahahahahahahahahah. i gave her moral support during her tough times. maybe i feel betrayed that SHE did not give ME moral support during MY tough times. sure.

hehehehe. i was there for her, she wasnt there for ME hahahaha.

thats not technically betrayal, but it does hurt and is just some one sided shit.

this is taking so long to get over because she wasnt jsut some random girl. we were close. for years. that means something motherfooker. maybe not to her, but def to me.

well i gave up my right to moral support from her when i got feelings for her. plus i had already taken a lot of moral support from her by being needy at job.

yeah well how about talking about these things with me, rather than leaving me to figure it all out by myself. when i CANT. its literally impossible. not saying that as a slight against muh average 101 iq; but rather it phsyically takes two people sharing and working together to get answers on this. there are too many unknowns that i would need her to answer. questions i have for her, that she is not willing to answer. shit i would have answered any question she asked me. yes of course i said that in the emails hahaha. ask me ANYTHING. PLEASE.

hahahahah well at least i know that she is NOT willing to Date Me hahahahah. that is no longer an unknown. i mean the silence does answer SOME questions. other questions the silence does not answer. will never answer.

im just like, how did she get THIS important to me? its like i didnt even realize how MUCH she meant to me until it was all over.

well thats not 100% true. i was certainly waking up to it. yeah i think i was as aware as i could have ever been.

i just never expected the ending would be SO devastating. well i also didnt expect it to GO as badly as it did. ok i really gotta go to fatclub.

 

 

INSULT TO INJURY / IF U HAVE TO ASK FOR RESPECT, YR DONE / NO SUCH THING AS A FEMALE NEET

0205

shit. definitely have some sort of cold or flu. warm and feverish; occasional cold sweats; feeling of being run over by a truck or a Piece of Garbage hhahaha. mind was RACING last night until 4 am, took some nyquil around 2 am. took more nyquil at 12 pm then went back to bed, avoiding coffee. think i drank too much coffee yesterday. weak wobbly legs. burning eyes. dont even have the energy to look at the internet. yet i said i would meet up with a friend, becuase it seems the right thing to do, plus i am horrible about initiating contact with him. hes no angel though, i have my reasons, namely him having a ridiculous, super disappointing Drinking Problem that will totally ruin his life, marriage, family, friends, relships. but i am too pussy to give him an ultimatum because i dont like ignoring and avoiding people when they reach out to me, or especially i dont want to TTALAPOG. there has been good times and bad times and you just dont do that to people youve known for almost 20 years. they can disappoint you sure, but you arent gonna TTALAPOG unless they SEVERELY BETRAY you, and you cant even imagine what that would entail. bang your gf hahahaha. ive never had a gf he could bang plus he respects me enough to never do that and god forbid i even get a gf that would cheat on me with my long time friends!

i was watching dr phil. he had a lot of great shit to say. i pretty much luv dr phil even if his show is Slippery Schlomo’s Lies. using a Big Goy 4 U as its handsome face.

today they had a white trash mother who had 5 children by 5 different men. WHATS WRONG WITH THAT? AS LONG AS IT WAS CONSENSUAL! SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS WITHOUT JUDGMENT!!!! the mothers mother was taking care of these neglected kids and it was a train wreck. i dont know know if all the children are white, but the 11 year old boy they talked to had a white arm hahahaha.  and it was tragic!!!! total white trash mother!

and another episode about Controlling Husbands. one guy had some good points about about the show selectively showing a doctored picture of their home. hmm standing up to schlomo i said, not bad goy. BUT within minutes it became clear he was Unhinged and was HIGHLY neurotic and not normal. paranoid, obsessive, compulsive, high tension, suspicious, on the edge, very keyed up and anxious and hyper, like he was having a nervous breakdown. i know that feel hahahaha. he tried to reduce his internal anxiety by controlling his wife, but it didnt work. he had to learn to SELF SOOTHE. similar story with the other husband on the show. he was CLEARLY anxious and derpressed about being out of work for YEARS on injury, so he tried to fix his anxiety by controlling his wife.

i thought, WOW, these women PUT UP WITH A LOT. I would have been DUMPED in a NEW YORK SECOND acting like that, not put up with it for YEARS. NOW, these were postwall women in their 40s, certainly not beautiful or anything, but still. they deserve respect too hahahahaha.

WILL YOU TRY THIS POGAM FOR 90 DAYS? dr phil says. and they get so hopeful and jiggle their Bingo Wings when the man says ok yeah i guess if its the only way to keep her from walking.

i was like SHIT. if i asked a woman to do a 90 day program to work on our rel, she would say fook you, 90 days, tahts way too much, thats 3 months! I could find 10 guys that are better than you in every way in that time! See ya!

in other words, these wives were very WILLING and LOVING and LOYAL to STAND BY their men during very bad times. and to fix problems that were 10 times worse than the problems Me and Her had.

also: what IF she is the type of gurl who thinks EVERYTHING IS ABUSE? some people thing everything is abuse, when its really not, its just normal pain or angst or conflict or struggle. its not abuse.

and then if the woman is really comitted to the man, she will stay with him even IF there is REAL abuse!

anyway….do i want to be with a woman who FALSELY ACCUSES me of ABUSE? she’s the type of crazy b who might do a FALSE RAEP ACCUSATION and ruin a mans life with a LIE!!!!! now THATS a horrible betrayal!

how many nervous breakdowns does a person have in their life hahahaha. how often shoud you have them.  i had one in 2001 and then again in 2015.

since then i had quit a lot of bad habits that led to my first “breakdown,” namely alcohol and MJ. but i am still lazy and anxious.

very hard to be PRODUCTIVE.

its like i cant even HANDLE a REgualr BIg boy job, it puts me on the verge of a nervous breakdown and then i have it, and the job and or the rel does not last hahaha.

i am CERTAIN that smoking a LOT of mj before age 25 make me a generally more anxious and despairing person. heavy MJ use increases anxierty AND despair even after you quit. it probably even changes you damn brain permanantly for the worse in those ways.

yet i thougt i knew it all, i believed the degeneracy that said the Herbal Joo is just Mind Expanding MEDICINE to help you RELAX and CHILL OUT.  so why do you get high anxiety and dread and guilt when you partake? then why are you more anxious afterwards, when its out of your system?

i ALWAYS had high anxiety and guilt and shame so its hard to say if i got worse.

also u

0206

one of russell crowes great grandmothers is maori. this makes russell crowe an OCTAROON!!!!! he is essentially 12.5% BLACK!  welp i never would have guessed. lesson: you can be “only” 87.5% white and basically be as good as 100% white in my book hahaha.

this is all because i am watching a beautiful mind on tv which is a decent movie and russell crowe is a decent actor.

heh. i would rather have paranoid schizo and be a successful respected phd mathematician, than have basic bitch anxiety, despair, and maybe one day bipolar, and be a huge frickin loser hahahaha. i mean he just got obsessed and got so good at superhard maths that that was his ticket to success. and top skools and gummint agencies came looking for him to give him well paid work. so he saw a few hallucinations. big deal. small price to pay. and an attractive white wife. though i dont trust that whore jennifer connelly hahahahaha. think she ever cheated on a bf or husbando?

and here i am confusing fiction with reality hahahaha. degenerate actors playing highly fictionalized versions of real people who are probably not as degenerate and certainly not nearly as good-looking.

Why Good People Ghost: The Rise Of A Dishonest Dating Culture

this person is a degenerate even as they start to recognize the degeneracy in the “current dating culture.” i guess its not bad enough to keep them from having Casual Sex with multiple people at the same time, just cuz thats NORMAL now.

heh. i couldnt sleep and thought my best hope would be maybe when i am 40 i could find like a 34 year old single mom with 2 kids already and then i might be able to convince her to have a child with me. but having two children with her would be rough. but her preexisting kids would not respect me and then they would prob also bully My child because its not their full sibling and its part of me, who they dont like. and if im not strong enough to overcome those influences, then my child will grow up to be a white trash loser. either a drug addict scumbag, or a neet virgin unable to mate with white girls.

yeah i dont like the word “ghosting.” there is the implication that you are “dating”, and only for a short time, and also that everything SEEMS to be going well.

here we were friends, for a long time, and it was clear things werent going well, and she just avoided and ignored and did silent treatment and no respond. “ghosting” doesnt quite describe it fully.

i hate when you cant pass a caller onto someone more knowledgable, so you have to essentially figure their shit out ON THE SPOT. in the space of several minutes, you have to go from not knowing to knowing, and explain it to them.

or lets say you have angry clients who are demanding a discount because you got the order wrong, or late, or damaged. then you say sorry about that, well get a replacement out in 30 to 60 days, no discounts, sorry, and you can get away with that because you are kind of a monopoly. you know your clients arent gonna find some other company who can do it for cheaper in a …… 3 state radius i dunno.

or they WANT an explanation but you cant give them an explanation because an explanation is really SUPERFLUOUS. they dont really NEED it, plus it costs MONEY to come up with one, so, its better for the company to not give an explanation.

i just hate looking stupid and unprofessional and then get angry at the company for saying this is ok.

nope i cant transfer you to a higher up. I cant even talk to the higher ups!

no one has time to confirm if youre doing your job right, only that youre meeting whatever stupid quality metrics. but as far as doing the actual technical procedures correctly….that is NOT measured. it would be impossible to measure other than having a higher up sit with you for at leat 8 hours and watch all the technical stuff you do. and its LAUGHABLE to suggest that a higher up should do this. they all have their OWN case loads, the stuff tier 1 couldnt figure out. they dont have TIME to TRAIN tier 1!!!!! NOBODY has time to train tier 1!!!!!!

i like to take pride in my work, and not Pass The Buck like a black, or try to Scam like a Schlomo. I want to treat people honestly and fairly and give them Good Service.

now when i say pass the buck, i mean transfering them before youve even attempted to solve the problem. However I think if you’ve been bashing your brains out for an hour trying to solve the problem and its clear that youre just doing trial and error, then you should be able to transfer it to someone else.

its like going to a math tutor for calculus 4, but that tutor has never taken calculus 4, let alone passed it with an A or a B. YOU have taken more calculus 4 than your tutor. So the tutor breaks out the same textbook you have, says WELP lets look at the old manual, then maybe checks a few OTHER textbooks, then checks google, and says WELP a lot, then finally WELP i THINK i might have gotten it, then gives you an answer that might be wrong, but neither he nor you can PROVE its wrong, then a week later you get your homework back and the instructor has put a big X on it, indicating that its wrong, but no indication WHY, so then you have to go back to the same stupid tutor again.

or when 3 or more departments bounce you back and forth because “we dont handle that, this other department does”………and some of the people who say that are correct….but at least one person is bullshitting. yes, your department DOES handle it. but they are too untrained or they dont have a knowledgable person available to ask, “hey does our department handle this?” so the fookin new guy just “errs on the side of caution” to get the person off the phone. becuase HE cant get better advice from anyone in HIS area.

i hate this kind of shit. its like the lunatics running the asylum. or a bunch of black warlords making up the rules as they go along. you see this kind of CHAOS and you wonder how the company can stay in business WITHOUT scamming people!!!!!!!!

no accountability. that kind of stuff bothers me. i dont mind being held accountable for my work as long as i can get reliable answers from my higher ups. tell me WHY this is happening so i can have an EXPLANATION for them. give me some kind of ETA, even a rough ESTIMATE.

or lets say you are at home depot and theres a tornado. some of the employees tell the customers to stand in the middle of the store. other employees try to corral the customers into like a warehouse or soemthing. other employees scream run outside! get out of the building as fast as you can!

and whats amazingly clear is that these employees have not been trained on tornado procedures.

shit like that just looks really really bad imho!

but at least now i understand WHY it happens. because its a COST.

maybe the training was reduced to a computer module or a something the employee has to sign off on. but because they are pressured to do the training module after they punch out, they go through it as fast as possible, click click click click without reading it, because theyre not getting paid for this, and they want to get home and smoke MJ hahahaha or work on their masters degree or pick their kids up from indoctrination and shove some macdonalds in their face.

so you have to be good at bullshitting and nobody teaches you how to bullshit, there are not even good articles on the INTERNET teaching you how to bullshit. its like its some kinda big SECRET.

i would say its about telling pretty lies, but lies you cant get caught it, and always trying to cover your ass, and telling them what they want to hear, but not making promises, while trying to keep their hopes up, and when in doubt, throw your higher ups under the bus (“i really went to bat for you sir, but those bastards higher up the food chain just arent gonna play ball, it is what it is”) AND realize what you can and cannot get away with, what corners you can and cannot cut.

SEE? this is fooking HORRIBLE! as an honest white person, i just want to do an honest job and not have to bullshit and cut corners, but also not look stupid or unprofessional. damn.

like shouldnt you acting like an untrained idiot reflect poorly on YOUR manager? yes it SHOULD, but it DOESNT if nobody can get AHOLD of your manager! that you would get WRITTEN UP if you gave your managers phone number to someone! shit you dont even know how to transer a caller to your managers VOICE MAIL, and neither do any of the people around you. so you just freak out and transfer the caller to the main line, and hope you dont get them again when your call ends.

and you yourself learned to be unaccountable because…..no one was accountable to you, they werent accountable for their work, why should YOU be accountable for your work? especially if you dont really know what youre doing? you can always claim ignorance! because everyone was ignorant in some ways!

basically you just DO shit until you got in trouble for it, then said oh im sorry i didnt know that was a thing. i dont do it again!

so yeah it should reflect poorly on your manager…….if your clients/customers could ever talk to your manager! managers dont have to take calls because THEY DONT WANT TO! you can tell the person whos complaining about you, that you will pass along their complaint to a manager, who will call them back if they want, but no promises.

WRONG ANSWER. i demand to speak to a manager.

really the best think you CAN do is change your voice and pretend to be a manager, or have your neighbor do it, but they probably wont have time.

0207

it was difficult to get used to the work but even more difficult to get used to the NATURE of the work. namely, an Inbound Tier 1 Call Center where you didnt have much freedom or autonomy to call someone back; you couldnt Have Someone Else call Them Back with an answer; you didnt have an Explanation or an Estimated Time for anything; you seemed poorly prepared because you WERE poorly prepared, unless you were crazy obsessed like me and went home after a long stupid day and went right back into the shit and STUDIED it on your free time!

come home, eat dinner, get blazed on the herbal j00, listen to some Bach or Beethoven or Religious Chanting, get on to company intranet and read your case notes and knowledge base and work email and shit. damn.

i liked being able to immerse myself in the stuff in a peaceful environment, with no phones ringing and nobody demanding answers now, and i could just study and understand and practice shit, and yeah i think the herbal j00 was helpful there in “defragmenting” my mind after a long day. though maybe it wasnt NECESSARY. but at that point i really enjoyed it and had no desire to stahp. i looked forward to it at the end of a tuff day. if i couldnt be with muh female friend and cuddle with her and yes i would secs her up as well, cuz theres nothing women hate more than a pussy sensitive man who likes cuddling but is nervous about fooking. so i would just get blazed and occasionally text her and she would text back and i would get my fix that way.

so its her fault for giving me my fix?

NO….but it did give me false hope that we would Hang Out Someday. Because Friendly Texting implies that Yes, We Will Hang Out Again Someday, not I Am Going To TUALAPOG / Abort / BTFO you.

in other words, she could have started avoiding/ignoring/blocking me THEN!! instead of responding to texts.

i dunno. you dont have to like someone back, to care about them and their lives, especially when you used to have a long term friendship. you used to be important to them and now you are not important at ALL. still i dont think thats a REASON to throw anyone away LAPOG. you say, welp i have lost interest in them, but they are still a decent human being, and we once had a good friendship, so, it would be WRONG to TTALAPOG, so im just gonna talk to them and tell them im done lol.

but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. hahahahaha.

anyway. basically if someone wants an explanation and your higher ups dont have one and you cant figure it out, just tell them, im sorry, but there just is no explanation for this. and if they continue to push, tell them you’ll look into it and contact then yourself within 72 hours. and then go home and reserach the issue during your free time and email them then. or just blow them off and hope they forget it hahahahaha.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/44m5jb/me_19_m_with_my_girlfriend_18_f_of_few_weeks_i/

http://archive.is/3xQbc

they have a PERFECT relship except for the SECS, he has a bad habit of losing his Erection, and he is afraid she will dump him because he’s not improving quickly enough, even though their rel is prefect in every other way. just that hes not improving FAST enough for her liking. he knows if she dumps him he will be devastated, and i fully believe him! not really any good responses so far. i am tempted to say: if this is such a good rel, she would GIVE YOU A CHANCE.

like it should take 90 days to notice any kind of change but theyve only been “Dating” a “Few WEEKS.” and this slut is annoyed the SECS isnt as nonawkward as she thinks it should be. after a few weeks. and shes 18 and has been with a lot of guys. do you think she is gonna give him a chance for 90 days? fook no, she’s gonna dump him, and he’s gonna be devastated. he is already worried that the emotional devastation will affect his school performance. and yes it probably will. and this will then affect his career for the rest of his LIFE hahahahaha. he will get a worse GPA, not be able to get certain jobs, not be able to go to certain grad skools. fook no a 19 year old young man is not ready for this, i dont think you CAN be at that age.

this is why women should not go to college hahahaha. honestly they shouldnt hahahaha. they just become sluts anyway.  like this gurl. 18 years old and already ruined for life. and this young mans risking his entire life on a fickle, impatient 18 year old slut. what a shame.

heh i actually replied on reddit. my first reply hahahahahaha.

basically i told him she needs to be more understanding and give him time and not hang the threat of dumping him over his head. like THATS gonna help him perform better. plus this is the FIRST gurl he has ever been with. he is just getting used to secs. come on. give the guy a CHANCE. and if they are so GOOD, they will be able to communicate about this and work through it, rather than her saying “fix yourself FAST.” i said, how would YOU treat HER if SHE was the one with the secsual problem? you would prob bend over backwards to support her. is she doing that for you?

would you treat her like she is treating you now? prob NOT!

would I treat my female former friend the way she treated me? ABSOLUTELY NOT. OH GOD. I WOULD NEVER TREAT SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. TTALAPOG. NEVER.

oh noes, the TRS forum has been SHOAHED because of the troll raids on kristen howerton on twitter, the swpl therapist mommy blogger who brags about her two adopted black boys and has Creepy Suggestive pictures of them with her White Biological Daughters. and the husband is of course a family therapist and very cucky. so some TRS people and i assume general twitter shitlords jumped on and tried to shame the woman. there was a big trs thread which probably should have been not public hahahaha.  kind of suprising a mod did not move the thread to the private section, but the mods work and have lives, unlike the neets like me who read the forum all day.

i certainly did not TWEET anything, but i did like a bunch of posts in the trs thread hahahaha. maybe i will get banned from the forum.

i didnt think the harrassment was too bad, considering she was putting all these pictures out there publicly. and the trolls were just photoshopping in buckets of kfc or that sort of thing hahahaha.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/02/05/when-a-public-family-is-publicly-attacked/?_r=0

wow the ny slimes actually had an article about it. whoa

https://archive.is/cjZDH

interview with a 58 year old virgin

https://archive.is/Z8cr9

ridiculous 8ch thread on male virgins wow how long can it get

http://archive.is/wlDVg

make women great again, women are degen crap, they need better role models hahahaha

i went on pol because trs got shut down and figured 8pol would be good place to go

0208

heh. weighed in at 159 pounds in the morning pre coffee, post morning Micturation hahahaha, in which you can easily get rid of like 1 lb of Water Weight. so this means my first goal is reached, hooray, i am no longer “overweight.” but on the very high end of normal. consumed less than 1200 calories yesterday and myfitnesspal told me this was not recommended, i am not eating enough, and will not show me my projected 5 week weight until i consumed 1200 calories hehehehe.

now you could consume 1300 calories and burn 1000 calories at the gym, it wont complain about that.

but i have been Ill with a fever or cold or something and have not been eating much or exercising, dont want to go to gym when sick. seem to be getting better tho.

now just gotta lose 19 more pounds hahahahahaha.

make it a goal to lose 14.88% of your body weight.

its not gonna help you get women unless youre tall, but it will help you get healthier and feel more confidence when you look at your no longer so fat body. might make it easier to get jobs and keep people from Bullying you at Work hahahahahahahahaha. Whose bullied more, fat people or nonfat people? i mean skinny nerds get bullied all the time. but so do fat losers.

i watched “married at first sight” and all the women suck. i mean the men arent great either, but theyre better than the women. its a common thing where the man will want to communicate, lets communicate and put an effort into solving this problem, but the woman would rather shut down, run away, not communicate, be mad, throw a tantrum, and the guy is understandably frustrated: he wants to fix this, and she is not willing in the least. how about a litle cooperation and willingness. nope.

so i say a good thing is to give them a spanking and then hopefully they respect you again.

its just a real shitty situation when the woman stops respecting you. you cant then go to her and beg plleeeeeaaasseeee respect me, ill do anything you want, what do i have to do for you to respect me? answer: nothing. its impossible. if you have to ask, you;ll NEVER get respect.

and when you see your beloved turning away from you, drifting away from you, you get scared and desperate and its real hard to stand up and be the hard man which is the only way youll get respect back!

heh. how do i get respect from my male friends. just by being myself, being a decent person. not brain surgery.

but this is NOT enough if you want to get respect from women. you gotta be a tough guy and a hardass too hahahaha. yeah well i dont respect women cuz they are sluts and mudsharks and too damn promiscuous! goes both ways bitches hahahahaha.

the disrespect was just a double whammy on top of the rejection though. insult to injury. you can injure me but please dont insult me on top of it. i really didnt deserve that. other sluts gave me more respect when they dumped me hahaha why couldnt you.

i dunno. i just hate getting disrespected. if i did something wrong i am usually the first to feel ashamed about it. even moreso than other people. so to get disrespect from them for a total overreaction, misjudgment, mistake, misunderstanding, is fooking infuriating.

but you cant make somebody respect you. or stop disrespecting you.

google gf doesnt respect me

hhehehehe the mainstream and womens media makes it look like this never happens. but it obviously happens a lot. men everywhere are being disrespected by women.

whose fault is it? the men for being shitty little pussies? or the women for gradually coming to take their men for granted? i mean they knew what they were getting into!

a guy like me will take all the responsibility and blame: well she doesnt respect me any more, it MUST have been something i DID, now let me fight to WIN BACK her respect.

when yeah i WAS being more of a pussy and women HATE and disrespect that……but i also think it can be a conscious choice too. like, i once respected this person, what did they REALLY DO to cause my respect to decrease?

is there really a good reason to disrespect this person or am i just overreacting?

i dunno. its just so stupid that women can be so childish and immature and wrong and they never have to answer for it. is that part of their natural Privileges from having the uterus? maybe. that they are shielded from any consequences of their immaturity. that may well hurt men, but doesnt hurt the women in the least.

i dunno. maybe. therefore  im not allowed to be upset.

well, i AM allowed to be upset, i was the one wrongly disrespected!

i just wish she face some damn KARMA for this. JUSTICE hahahahaha. justice for me hahahahaha. what goes around comes around. but when it comes to women being immature…..what goes around doesnt always come back around. they just keep being stupid idiots until they have at least 2 kids. women need at least 2 kids before they stop being children themselves. till then they can go around treating people like shit.

hell no its not right, and thats why mothers and fathers would raise their daughters not to treat people like shit!

just make a damn effort to not break hearts in the most devastating way possible. and this was someone i knew and trusted, who treated me badly. just a total mindfook but i am slowly become numb to it, which is really the best and only solution here, because there wont be any REAL closure.

closure ultimately comes from within, but SOME closure CAN come from the other person. they CAN help you in the process. indeed, that is the decent thing to do. help the person you’re dumping and heartbreaking, to get started on the path to closure. give them a little bit to start them off.

anyway i have been taking nyquil every night for about 5 nights so, that kinda numbs the mind as well. feeling better so want to get off that. just try the dayquil today.

but yeah dr phil would be a great independent tribunal, an arbiter if you will. i would bring her on and we would present our cases and dr phil would say ya know sweetie, you’re just acting like a spoiled child here, he deserves better treatment. we at the dr phil show side with him. now go apologize to him and ask him for forgiveness. also consider dating him too. a white man who actually cares about you and would fight to make things work with you.

http://archive.is/53KA7

daily reminder to find a good wife, how to do so amidst the sea of degen whores hahahaha

Are You An Abused Man? Three Questions

QUOTE  “My wife thinks I’m being abusive and controlling when I tell her her behavior is hurtful.” END

yeah that sucks. when a woman accuses YOU of being abusive when you are just trying to communicate and or stand up for yourself, and she gets all upset, and you think…….wait……maybe i AM really abusing her!

but youre not!

0209

im not asking to never be disappointed. just that you attempt to show a little human decency and common courtesy when disappointing me, try not to add insult to injury. show a SHRED of kindness. dont be the worst person you can be. dont COMPLETELY BTFO people you have known for YEARS without a single word.

plus it makes me feel even worse for liking her. like i never thought i could like someone again, and i took a leap of faith and opened muh heart miraculously, took a chance, decide someone is important enough to you to make sacrifices for, have chirren with…….and then they TUALAPOG. and you were thinking about spending your LIFE with them and having CHIRREN with them.

makes you think holy shit how could i be so WRONG about this person?

i thought I KNEW them!

hey i was no angel. i was not perfect. my communication skills left a lot to be desired. but the right thing to do when your real actual literal friend gets feelings for you is to say IM SORRY BUT I DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU hehehe.

yeah its always complicated though, its never really a good situation.

why didnt I just TAKE THE HINT and stop pressing the issue? and just move on?

well because i was desperately hoping we would hang out at SOME point, and this was a person i USED to hang out with. its not like i NEVER hung otu with her. for a long time we would hang out semi regularly. and that sets a tone and expectation of semi regular hanging out.

shit yeah it would be a LOT DIFFERENT if i NEVER hung out with her ever. but thats not the case.

like for example when you know EARLY ON you are interested in the gurl, before you even really hang out with her.

but yeah its just weird when you already have an established thing, are already friends, have a history of hanging out, also they have some legit good reasons for space, you try to give it to them.

i dunno. yeah i guess i coulda just taken the hint, but this shit was different, because we had something already, we were already friends, we already hung out, that i think sets some expectations and such. i was WAY closer and friendlier with woman2015 than i was with woman2012. woman2o12 we were just friendly acquaintances. w2015, we were full blown friends. no doubt about it. that makes a big difference.

yeah i KNOW that by getting feelings I single handedly CHANGED the relationship without her consent. but i was trying to get her consent, or her input, or whatever.  you dont have to like me back but please be gentle when you break my heart, please make an attempt not to add insult to injury. how hard is this. say thanks for the good times and i wish you well. thts all.

im not entitled to anything, i just think because we had a 2-3 year friendship, that i had a reasonable expectation to a SHRED of mercy and kindness and courtesy and respect, thats all, nothing more, nothing less.

anyway. really gotta get over this. i have become a total neet loser. and she is a winner making tons of money and tons of white knights fawning over her, but she will prob screw it up by getting knocked up by a badboy and being too stupid to use a rubber, oh they feel weird, oh im just too stupid, and who cares about the stds from these sleazebags, im a sleazebag too. but shes not a neet loser hahahaha.

are there any female neets? i dont think so! they simply dont exist! and yeah thats a biological privilege i am not arguing with. i am not REALLY butthurt about that hahahaha.

i just wish women were kinder and more respectful to men. to ME hahahahaha. theres no biological reason they cant be more respectful to me hahahaha.

come on. doesnt matter if i “revoked our friendship on the spot”. i claim i didnt. if you claim i did, burden of proof is on you to prove why.

 

 

WHAT WOULD DONALD TRUMP DO / FRIENDS FIRST GAME / 11 YEARS SINCE CUDDLING / SQUAT GUAT / TUALAPOG / ID HANG OUT WITH ME SO HARD

0203

THIS IS THE BEST AND LONGEST POST EVER.

well i will get over the idea that i did a horrible thing and betrayed her and am a bad guy…..

but its much harder to get over the idea that I Failed The Shit Test. She was giving me a shit test because thats just what women naturally do to weed out weak willed men, and be selective, and find good stronk mates, and weed out the weak………and i failed the test and showed myself as weak. failed her shit test.

but i have my doubts that this was an actual shit test, vs her just being super shitty.

now i realize ALL shit tests are subconscious, and the women dont know theyre doing them.

and that shit tests are essentially women acting like Full Retarded Immature Children. and that is stupid and shamefur.

the proper response is to say, i’m not gonna take your shit baby, THIS ENDS NOW. youre acting like a CHILD and you can talk to me when you want to act like a grown ass woman. but i dont negotiate with bratty little children.

then the gurl melts and says ooh thats just what i wanted to hear, you passed the shit test, i luv you now.

also….. i thought shit tests came AFTER the gurl has shown SOME interest in you, most likely have SECS by the third date. but she doesnt really know you and doesnt know if youre a real enough man to continue having secs with her.

also, i failed shit tests with women before, bascially dumped for being Too Beeta……..but they still were NICE to me when they dumped me and didnt go apeshit and treat me like a piece of garbage, or it was my fault for being such a horrible person.

in other words, failing a shit test STILL doesnt mean the woman gets to throw you away like youre a horrible person. they can STILL empathize with you as someone who is gonna be hurt.

but i dont know how shit tests work in Friends First situations. when you already know each other. she had known me for 2+ years, she knew who i was.

are they testing to see if youre willing to just walk out on them if they give you shit?

well i wasnt willing to walk out on her exactly because we already had an established relationship for a long time, and you just dont GIVE UP on people like that, unless they are a trifling brat you JUST MET.

now with shit tests you cant say “just talk to me baby, and we’ll work this out. tell me what you want baby, and i’ll do it.” thats FAILING the shit test.

you have to say, im the MAN, and im not gonna stand for this. STAHP. THIS ENDS NOW. I wont take this shit, we wont talk this out, you’re gonna stop throwing the tantrum, or im gonna find a BETTER WOMAN.

well, its hard to walk out on a qt after youve BANGED her, because you want to bang her MOAR, plus the secs might be naturally, rightfully causing your brain to produce like-like-chemicals. so your willingness to put up with shit and not walk away is increased.

when walking away is not the same thing as giving up. when you you walk away because youre saying “i can do better than this. i dont have to put up with this shit. this is retarded.”

vs walking away as giving up: “i dont want to put in the effort to work on and improve this relationship. im done with them. its over and im pulling the plug.”

i dunno i think BEING ASSERTIVE is not a bad thing. i was never good at being a DICK to women becuase i was always THIRSTY (hahahaha) and DESPERATE for female attention and approval and liking and loving.

but i think you can be assertive and stand up for yourself and say i dont like the way youre treating me, you need to treat me with more respect or were done.

do women see assertiveness as being not masculine enough? or do you need to be more aggressive than assertive?

i dont think aggressiveness HURTS. except when you are being aggressively pushy, creepy, bugging them to hang out when they dont want to hang out. and you are persistent in a stalkery way.

the best advice i have thought of recently is: WHAT WOULD TRUMP DO. WHAT WOULD THE TRUMPENFUHRER DO in this situation, with this woman. how would HE show assertiveness to this Bratty Bitchy Woman whose trying to bust his balls?

THAT is what you must do.

would he let some gurl say oh not now, but later. later. later. for months and months? fook no. hed say, were going out to bla bla on saturday at 7 pm. done. be ready or youre fired hahahaha.

shit. when this first started going on she made it sound like almost playful and possibly flirtatious, like youre the guy, you pick the place. and i responded pretty well like, OF COURSHE ill pick a place, i am decisive as fook and if you dont like it, your loss baby lol. and joking with her. and tyring to point out how i wasnt such a nice guy, i am a total asshole, its my way or the highway. was trying to show that side to her. which i still think was a good idea! but then she STILL kept bailing on me. still making up excuses. i said youve got two strikes already baby, and believe me you dont want a third! youre treading on thin ice! which i thought was halfway decent Game for a sperg autist neet virgin wizard like me! and i still do!

but it didnt work, cuz she still kept up with the lame excuses.

at that point, i should have said THIS ENDS NOW. STAHP STRINGING ME ALONG or i’ll hang out with somebody who doesnt.

and because i failed to do that, i lost out on muh lifelong wife and mother of my children, cuz i made one misstep and responded to one shit test incorrectly hahahahahaha.

again my game was not Perfect, but it was OK considering, and at the beginning of it, it didnt seem she was Stringing Me Along too much. so i continued the Playful Banter and things werent weird yet.

and the excuses werent really THAT lame. some were, like i was sick etc. others were like oh im upset because my cheating boifran cheated on me and im sad, and i thought her opening up to me about that was progress.

but yeah. you could have finally Broke Down and agreed to hang out over Thanksgiving or Crimbo. so I guess things were weird by January 2015. because i had fully expected to hang out with her around tgiving. that was disappointing. that was strike 1 or 2. i thought well if tgiving doesnt work out, xmas or new years definitely will. xmas did not work out. i even blatantly asked her if she wanted to hang out on new years. I DUNNOOOOOOOOOO. THAT should have been strike 3, and on new years day 2015 i should have said: OK. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. THIS ENDS NOW.  but instead there was tension for the next 7 months. and then devastating, pathetic heartbreak for me ever since that.

but do i really WANT a woman who has made the decisions she has? when she has to make big decisions and prove her mettle, she Chokes and chooses Poorly. and its TRAGIC because she can really do better. but do i really want someone who Chooses Poorly when it matters the most?

well i often thought, well, other white women arent much better. i mean how PICKY do i want to be here? we get along well, we know and trust each other, shes been with less than 3 guys, shes not annoying, shes nice, really the pros outweigh the cons here goy, where am i ever gonna find a nice, young, pretty, less than 3, no kids white gurl? wy the hell shouldnt i go all in with her!

shes made a couple of bad decisions, and i wish she had a better father but thats not her fault, her family is good despite that, were all human, ive made some REALLY bad decisions too, and most young cute white women have made a lot worse decisions! i could do so much worse, and really, considering my status, im not gonna do any BETTER!

i dunno. i TRIED to have game at the beginning. i thought i was Gaming pretty well considering me being an omega wizard. gimme a little CREDIT for THAT hahahahah!

but the game didnt work. she kept flaking. now was that because my game was not strong enough? and i should BLAME MYSELF for that?

well the true alpha would say, welp i screwed that one up, but i learned a lesson, and i will do better with the next woman. lets just move on from this.

note well that i am more about marriage game and traditional wife game as opposed to casual sex pulling degen sluts degenerate game!

also, HOW HARD IS IT TO HANG OUT????? i can see soem bitch youve only known for a month and had casual secs with, now blows you off and doesnt hang out with you because youre TOO interested in her……

but how do you Friends First Game?

average Game says, theres no such thing, youre in the Friendzone Forever.

I say, well just tell the gurl your feelings have changed. and then get soundly rejected because women dont like having Adult Conversations, because Serious is not Sexy. You have to speak their bullshit dumb retarded signal language. at which point you are better to be Aggressive He Man, than Assertive Lets Talk About This.

so stupid. what does heartiste say is proper Friends First Game?

i TRUST heartiste because he is pro-white and he is also TRS-approved and he understands the big picture.

even ROOSH is coming around to that, but we dont like Roosh because he is a Kebab and he makes fun of the alt right hahahahaha. ful disclosure: I bought “Day Bang” like 4 or 5 years ago and still dont realy want to get rid of it. i think white wizards like me can learn some basic solid game from a “kebab rapist” like Roosh. but yeah. he shouldnt have mocked the alt right. that was really stupid. not just the alt right, but WHITES. i can’t tolerate that.

plus him going around banging HUNDREDS of white girls. even if they are degen sluts. he is not being a part of the solution. to degeneracy.

but yeah. it just makes me very uncomfortable to think that the average unmarried white gurl is gonna be more or less ok with casual sex.

well this is the DEFEATIST shit schlomo WANTS me to think! NICE TRY SCHLOMO!!!!!!!!!

back in the day, DEFEATIST talk used to be up there with TREASON as an executable offense! or at least you got the shit beat out of you. and then went nuts and Kd yourself and others like private pyle hahahaha.

i have always felt like private pyle unfortuantely hahahahaha.

just to be crystal clear, i dont support the poolside, enjoy the decline, watch the world burn bullshit. i might have been seduced by that DEGENERATE, HEDONISTIC NIHILISM when i was younger, but not anymore. there are values much much much higher than MUH DICK.  and thats all that shit is, is muh dick.

i luv TRS because not only do they have a fun forum, but they have totally engaging the Memeplex and are changing the meme game in a bigger way than any pro-whites ive seen so far. creating memes, changing the language, creating our own language, “dog whistling” to other shitlords with words like “AGENCY” and “TIME PREFERENCE”. not to mention the more jocular memes/words like “cuck” and dindu and gibs which seem to be penetrating our language.

what they are doing is great and exciting and important. and i have been pro white since 2011 hahahahahaha. ive read stormfront and vnn and they are fine and dandy, but TRS is the next big thing and i am GRATEFUL i discovered them.

they would tell me forget about that lost cause mudshark……..but they would also say i am a total beeta lost cause myself, so when you tally up the scorecard, i would have been lucky to pull a white gurl like her. young, less than 5 dicks, no kids, so what if she is a little mudsharky and has no father. pros outweigh the cons. i am a past my prime, 30+ loser who made bad choices in life and now reaps what i sow. i am luck that a white gurl even wanted to hang out with me. the best i deserve is a “BROWN MIDGET REFRIGERATOR” (description of guatamalan/mestizo brown women hahahaha, stout, stocky, short, stumpy, and very unattractive hahahaha.)

i am serious about wanting to date only white girls…..but with my low mate value, i have to find a white girl with ISSUES.  and i did! and i felt they were not dealbreaker issues!

or i could just IMPROVE MYSELF which is what proud white men are SUPPOSED To do. life is a constant journey of SELF IMPROVEMENT for the white man.

heh. for me that is super duper hard. i am losing weight pretty good and trying to treat my Despair with meds and occasional shrink hahahahaha.  i have quit drinking and quit MJ. but i still like MJ and I wish i didnt LIKE it!!!!!!!

i have quit porno and have not looked at it at ALL in…..111 days at LEAST.

i dunno. i had a good upbringing so i cant blame my family. they were just too protective though, if anything they were too loving! and in that sense were enabling of bad habits that would not serve me well as an independent adult who could Survive in the World of Work and Women.

Classic Spoiled Kid Affluenza syndrome reporting in!

but yeah i dont like Dating because i dont think women should be having secs before 6 months into an official relationship, at LEAST; and i dont like the fact that women cant talk about shit and solve problems like MEN hahahaha. im mad at women for not being MEN. hahahahaha.

you cant HATE women for being immature insane bitches. its part of BEING A WOMAN. WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN MEN.

i dunno. i can accept women being VERY different from men, i just WISH they didnt HAVE to be immature, insane, destructive bitches! is that to unrealistic to ask?

probably not.

remember, those crazy bitches i fake dated and made out with and had secs with, who dumped me for being too beta and a doormat and not masculine enough and too interested in them, they still tried to dump me politely and nicely.

heh. j00ish women j00d me less than a white woman. its really discouraging when white women j00 you even worse than ACTUAL j00s hahahaha.

so yeah i can finally believe that i didnt do something HORRIBLY WRONG AND EVIL.

i have a harder time accepting that it was more than a matter of game. if i had just GAMED her better, i would have gotten her. and my major mistake is failing this SHIT TEST.

i would like to think there is no one size fits all way of passing a shit test. donald trump does it one way, uncle adolf does it another way, vlad putin does it another way, the southern gentleman does it another way. i would prefer to be assertive ratherly than overly aggressive, and not be too huge of a dick about it. because thats SAFER hahahaha. because what if being a dick to the woman actually offends the woman and drives her away? hahahaha. yes i am being slightly sarcastic.

bbbbbbut its hard to be a dick to women when you are a desperate doormat who is desperate to not be left by them.

i wish there were a good authority on Friends First Game i could turn to hahahaha.

of course the idea that there is a Game for every situation is pretty degen, see the hilarious twitter account return of kangz whcih is a alt right, pro white parody of return of kings which somebody from TRS forums is doing probably.

https://twitter.com/ReturnOfKangz?lang=en

it seems to be making fun of Game, from a pro white perspective hehehehehe. i dunno. its a really new twitter account but looks promising.

i dunno.

see, i thought Friends could just TALK to each other freely without using stupid GAME.

i thought friends could just HANG OUT with each other REGULARLY.

but i didnt WANT to be just friends.

well i was FINE with being friends at FIRST.

then things changed.

then i wanted to have a friendly talk about that change and just put it out there like a mature adult. no shit tests, no signals, no ultimatums, no bullshit.

but maybe its because im an unmasculine mating market loser that i even THINK Game Is Stupid. If i were a successful man, I would appreciate and respect the Game, as i respect the Differences between men and women.

i respect the differences between men and women, but i still think Game is stupid.

but MGTOW is kind of stupid as well. just pussies giving up and embracing foreveralone as some kind of moral signaling. nope. i dont buy it anymore. im as done with mgtow, as she was done with me hahahahaha.

there are better ways to morally signal hahahah. like by saying you are a traditional white man who wants to have a traditional white family with a traditional white woman.

WHAT WOULD THE DON DO.

he would say, “listen. the first couple times you blew me off, that was understandable. you were going through some tough stuff. but I really thought you would hang out with me around tgiving, crimmus, or new years. enough is enough already. youve been avoiding me for 2 months. this is not ok. this ends now. either we hang out this saturday at 5 pm or you CALL me when youre ready to stop stringing me along and start treating me with the respect i deserve.”

THE END.

put that on a fooking flashcard and MEMORIZE THAT QUOTE.

i am looking for an EPIC DOOM BAND that is MORE EPIC THAN CANDLEMASS.

CANDLEMASS IS NOT EPIC ENOUGH FOR ME.

Candlemass is great and nothing but respect. but i want 10 minute songs, not 6 minute songs hahahahaha.

yes, i am fully aware candlemass invented epic doom and has an album called “EPICUS DOOMICUS METALLICUS.”

yeah i will also take epicish gothic doom death. like my dying bride. that is more than epic enough for me. maybe what i’m looking for are those “gothic”, super melancholy Two Guitar Harmonies.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Metal/comments/2d454z/welcome_to_solitude_a_guide_to_epic_doom_metal/

google how to deal with a shit test

looking for somewhat trusted sources, not easy

http://therationalmale.com/tag/how-to-pass-a-shit-test/

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/compendium-of-female-super-shit-tests/

ok. so you treat them like the BRatty Little Sister. you dont hate them or want to hurt them, but you want to SHOW THEM WHOS BOSS.

WOMEN HATE MEN WHO NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE DOMINANT. hahahahahah. whoooops failed that shit test hahahahah.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/22qnmk/newbies_read_this_the_definitive_guide_to_shit

Commanding respect is especially important for the kind of testing where they’re just being an annoyance and generally disrespectful. IMO disrespect should not be tolerated and needs to be nipped in the bud, and is an important way to maintain frame control. You simply need to be firm and treat her like a father would to their child who’s being disrespectful. You don’t get angry, you just call her on the behavior and let her know clearly that you won’t stand for it. In a way this is almost a type of pressure flip. You’re taking her negative energy and sliding past it and putting the onus on her to react by changing her approach to the topic. For example:

Her: Nag nag nag.
You: That is disrespectful and I will not tolerate it.

https://whoism3.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/confessions-of-a-reformed-incel/

he seems pretty degen but there are some solid things in this article, poignant tuff feels you will have felt hahahaha. but he watches pron hahahaha. anyway decent article, cant vouch for the rest of the site.

yeah he likes pron too much and hates women too much. and doesnt like to heartiste. but i can basically understand where hes coming from. plus i HAD to read an article called “confessions of a reformed incel.” he went TWELVE YEARS without sex, and i think without even cuddleing or making out, any contact with women basically.

welp… its been 11-12 years without actual secs for me

11 years since touching pvssay, and cuddling

10 years since making out

so….almost as bad hahahahahaha.

11 years since cuddling wow that just sounds SAD hahahahaha.

WHAT WOULD THE DON SAY:

THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT.

this is prob muh favorite style. straightforward, no bullshit, no games, clear, direct, honest, short, to the point.

i dont even disrespect RANDOM SLUTS as bad as she disrespected me. how could she do that? im talking about archetypical degenerate, mudshark, casual sex, 30+ dicks, bastard babies, stupid retarded corrupted white skanks. i treat them with the utmost disrespect as a group, and she treated me worse than THAT. showed me less respect than THAT.

if i know someone as an INDIVIDUAL, that counts for something. if i god forbid knew one of those sluts, i would probably treat her with more respect as i would the GROUP. on an individual one on one basis, i try to treat EVERYONE with respect.

the idea she could do that to ME. someone she was once Good Close Friends with. its MIND BOGGLING.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2pb4fs/everything_you_need_to_know_about_shit_tests/

QUOTE

trpalternate 55 points 1 year ago
For the married guys in here, I’ll add one thing that I learned from experience: If you’re faced with passive-aggressive behaviour, ignoring it will, at best, postpone the problem. Passive aggression isn’t the same thing as a veiled shit test. The entire purpose of being passive-aggressive is to niggle at you until either you become cowed by guilt and fear of disapproval, or until you set some boundaries.

You have to confront passive-aggressive behaviour, preferably immediately. When you do so, be firm but not aggressive or angry. Make sure you shoot down any denials (e.g. “I didn’t mean to hurt you”). Also, don’t let her flip the script back on you. If she tries to deflect with something like how you don’t do enough dishes, you can say something like “We’re not talking about dishes. We’re talking about [Insert passive-aggressive action].

Set limits and follow through. Make sure that she knows that further behaviour like that will not be tolerated. Also tell her that if if there is a problem, she is to state it to you directly.

In my case, about an hour after the discussion, she asked me to apologize for getting upset with her. The absurdity of the situation got the better of me and I let a chuckle slip out. Then I told her that she was the one in the wrong, so she will be doing the apologizing. She did. One year in, and that was the last passive-aggressive snipe I have ever dealt with from her.

END

https://web.archive.org/web/20160107223756/http://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/

gotta dig into this.

you know it seems like less of a shit test and more that she was JUST AVOIDING ME. SHIT TESTS means theyre still INTERESTED, conditionally of course. avoiding you means they just have no interest whatseover.

avoiding is not a shit test.

therefore it was not a shit test that i failed.

anyway they way the more sex obsessed game types talk about women, you think, god damn these women are disgusting, are all women like that? and the gamers would say yes of courshe. all women are immature little cheaters and sluts. i dont like that idea hahahaha.

it sucks to find a Decent Woman and they do something really bad.

why cant they just disappoint you A LITTLE? they have to disappoint you WORSE THAN YOU COUL EVER IMAGINE.

and i dont give people shit tests. i realize even MEN ive each other shit tests all the time, but i dont even do that.

these PUAs are clearly degenerate and the women they fook are clearly degenerate, and i hate to think that All Women Are Like That. that SHE is like that.

maybe she was just chill and nondramatic because she partook a lot of MJ. do i REALLY want to be with a woman who does a lot of MJ? turning your mind to MUSH, and probably makes you MORALLY LAZY as well? not being able to do the right thing when the time comes?

well i wanted to do MJ with her, chill out and cuddle together, and i just cared that she was not a slut. had a low number.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/its-easy-to-identify-a-slut/

hehehehe

https://goodbyeamericainaphoto.wordpress.com/

i think heartiste has another blog and this is it

heartiste was one of the first guys i read that really got me thinking, and i still come back to him. i read him when i was an approval seeking shitlib. helped me see the error of muh ways! and he is still great. i think he is probably on board with pro white K selected family stuff.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/

i like how he mansplains stuff that really shouldnt need an article to mansplain. why do sluts make bad wives?

TO ASK THE QUESTION IS TO ANSWER IT!

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/42u3w5/my_girlfriend_me_21m_her_21f_together_15_yrs/

oh dear god. beta college boy dating dominant abusive woman, she goes batshit breaking shit making noise, cops called, they make them visit a college counselor, girl complains about man being WEAK and counselor says that Your Weakness is a Triggering Issue for her, maybe you should work on that mkay hahahahaha. so you dont force her to beat you with a shovel.

yeah this guys a huge pussy and doesnt even deserve an abusive gf…….but even weak unmanly shitlib sjw swpl phaggots dont deserve to be abused and threatened by their relship partners!

degen icelandic feminist whores sing triggering song about how they are huge buttsluts who love to take it up the ass. because it destroys patriarchy and destroys toxic masculinity and shows solidarity with oppressed gays. an acceptable form of appropriation hahaha. also stick it to the prudish squares. let your white daughter become a horrible anal wh0re hehehehe.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/white-nationalist-game/

heh heartiste might be ONE OF US hahahaha

http://archive.is/EuSlG

8pol thread related

ive been rejected by women before……but this one has been THE WORST.

yeah i will survive, i am probably getting a little better, but shit. at this point my woman hating levels are THROUGH THE ROOF.

but the good news is that more pro-white than ever before. i might even just admit that I Am A “White Nationalist.”

well i dont like labels, but i am definitely not Anti White Nationalist! And I Am White and HOLY FOOK I LUV BEING WHITE!!!!!!!! and I feel great loyalty to my RACE.

prior to 2012 i was very open to Race Realism but I didnt want to apply the label to myself. Was not all hardcore 1488 hahahaha. but when i got rejected by woman2012 i decided to go all in and be like fook it. i hate nonwhites and women hahahaha. im not trying to win any bitches approval. if anything i want to signal for white women who also believe in the 14 words like me!!!!!!!!!! and countersignal to fooking mudsharks, race traitors, sluts, etc.

oh i can fook whoever i want whenever i want and its not cheating because i never agreed that our rel was MONOGAMOUS hahahahahaha ayyyyyyy lmao idk ikr tbh fam smh

i hate it when bitches harshly dump you because you didnt READ THEIR MIND correctly. and asked for clarification about the complicated issues. i thought women LOVED to TALK about COMPLICATED DRAMA. sometimes but not always. sometimes theyd just rather show you shitloads of hostile disrespect, more disrepect than you would show the dirtiest whore, they show to YOU, even though you were a important part of each others LIVES for YEARS. nope. it dont matta. nunnadis mattas. WHO CARES. MEANS NOTHING. you’re just worthless garbage. like you never existed.

I GAVE HER MANY CHANCES. SHE GAVE ME NO CHANCE.

went to Gym and focused mostly on my new incline fetish. no its not a fetish, its just a new interest. SCHLOMO wants to denigate all your HEALTHY interests into “fetishes.” well that said, there are actual fetishes, and they are degenerate and should be shamed and shunned. but dont call a healthy gym thing a fetish cuz its not.

anyway went all out there on at least a 5% incline if not 6, and now feel much more tired and like the muscles got a serious Workout. so i can have a nice Muscular Ass so Tyrone and Mohamed can Pozz me and i can be a good Power Bottom hahahahaha. hahahahaha. no thats obv degenerate af.

but yeah that was good ultimately. think i am getting a cold tho. that is not good but hay at least i dont have to go into the Contact Center with 50 other hacking coughing sneezing people and answer phones all day.

i was suprised at how FEW blacks there were there. because blacks in Contact Centers will often give you the runaround and say they cant help you, get this info and call back, because they dont want to put in the effort and thought to solve the problem. however whites care and whites have real empathy and actually honestly want to help you, so they put their own quality scorecard and therefore their jobs at risk by taking longer to help you. and then bringing work problems home with them, studying in between shifts, until they go crazy and either go postal, K others, K themselves, or quit, because they dont want to be like a black and just quit. well i am willing to quit a job because i am a spoiled neet and a disgrace to my white race!

if the job were less ridiculous i might not have quit it. if SHE wasnt there i definitely would not have quit it. i was not man enough to take both struggles and stressors at once. i broke down like a little omega neet fuccboi boipucci neet wizard virgin manlet with no agency. a piece of white trash hahahaha. even white TRASH was good enough to hold onto the job!

but yeah her karma is a lot worse than mine. its bad karma to quit a job…….but not super bad. -1 to her -20. -30, -50.  it is horrible karma to ABORT or DELETE someone from your life that you had A Good Relationship with for a matter of YEARS. how would ANYONE react to that? even the most normie chad would be PRETTY DAMN UPSET.

and thank god i dont have to LIVE with that hanging over my head forever! she will just push it down deep though and Forget It All. It Never Happened. is THIS REALLY the kind of person I want to be sharing the rest of my life with? OF COURSHE NOT!

but it sucks that she is capable of treating some OTHER guy right and being a great wife to HIM! but she decided I wasnt worthwhile enough to treat with even a LITTLE respect. im not asking for a LOT. im asking for a LITTLE, and IMHO i had a Reasonable Expectation to a Little. and i want reasonable good wifeworthy less than 3 dix women to agree with me on that.

I was BTFOd. COMPLETELY. BTFOD. did i deserved to get BTFOd? no. at worst i deserved to have her bitch at me for a little bit, but that would involve talking to me. she couldnt even care enough to talk to me to bitch at me. damn.

how can someone who you were so close to you, do something SO COLD to you?

i figured she didnt like like me, but I also thought that she LIKED me as a person a LOT. put a lot of VALUE on me. and when people VALUE you, they don’t TUALAPOG/Abort/Delete you.

shift+delete you!

so now if someone says or acts like they value me as a person, how am i to know theyre not bullshitting?

and i dont think she WAS bullshitting.

blame it on the fooking MJ. the DEVILS cabbage. the HERBAL J00. it CLOUDS YOUR MIND and stupid stoners LAFF about that (“the halflings pipe-leaf has Clouded Their Mind” LOLOLOLOLOLOL) and laff about that, without realize it can cloud your mind on very IMPORTANT shit, like making decisions of MORALITY and doing the right thing. throw this person away then just smoke w33d for years and its like IT NEVER HAPPENED. cheat, kill your baby, neglect your children, and just smoke w33d all the time and its like the shit never happened.

see when i smoked weed, if i wasnt anxious as fook, i felt GUILTY for being a bad horrible weak shitty person. smoking w33d would certain INCREASE my guilt if I did something HORRIBLE to another person!

but it doesnt appear to have that effect on her at all! nope! just chills her right out!

is this the type of woman you want to share the rest of your life with? mother of your children? just because shes WHITE and under 30 and doesnt have any bastard kids????

but you get along really really well and feel really close to hahahaha.

maybe i was just so desperate for a woman that that desperation finally sparked my feelings. and if i had real OPTIONS, i would see how she should not be the first priority.

but i had no options. no plates spinning hahahaha.

maybe if i did, she would have wanted me. lawd knows when SHE had some changes in HER relship status, that sparked MY interest and pushed me over the edge!

When she had a Long Term BF, i had no interest in luv, or secs, as women prefer to call it hahahaha.

when that rel ended, i said HMMM. i really get along with this woman very well, we are good close friends, shes not unattractive, shes got no kids, shes got really nice hair and white skin and legs, shes super nice, she treats me well…….HMMM.

(she did not use me as a Beta Orbiter Crying Shoulder Emotional Support, so that was good? although i was very willing to give her emo support if she neeeded it.)

then there was the biggest regret time of july 2014 where we hung out and she was super nice to me, but i was still going HRMMMM and did not make a move.

but its very possible that she was just nice to me because she was NORMALLY nice to me! but once she figured out i might like her…..she became very NOT nice to me. bad sign hahahaha. and imho much more than a shit test or bitch shield.

yep this whole tragic sad story illustrates the tragedy of white trash. they are our white kith and kin and we should treat them as such…..but they are just so goddamn heartbreakingly disappointing. they can come SO CLOSE to shaking off the Trashy aspect and fully embrace their white potential…..but at their highest point, they Choose Poorly and start sinking back into the muck and the mud forevermore. but you WANT to help them. you know what theyre capable of. you know they could be so much better if they just didnt make such bad choices and have such bad habits. usually broken families and drugs/alcohol. the damage schlomo does to these poor white families! it should make your white blood boil!

it almost feels like a religious calling for me. the one thing i am really passionate about in a world of despair and disappointment and failure, largely my own, is The White Race. it is essentially my religion. or as some WN thinkers would say, Nature’s Eternal Religion. Sounds good to me!

who do you hang out with if YOU YOURSELF are the negative influence, and no healthy normies want to hang out with losers? You wouldnt hang out with a loser like you! you know well enough that you should SHUN losers, because bad company brings you down!

well…..hehehehe its not true that i wouldnt hang out with me. ID HANG OUT WITH ME SO HARD. i am pleasantly surprised by my confidence there. i am completely unconfident i can get a job or get a woman, but i am very confident that i am hangoutwithable and that i can lose weight.

of courshe it doesnt help manlets like me to lose weight because if you are under 5’10 you are INVISIBLE to women, they dont care if youre fat or thin. (disqualifying the positive)

well i could get a real shitty job like nonstop customer service in companies with VERY high turnover except by the most desperate, like me hahahaha.

and i could very likely get a 30 year old nonwhite woman, maybe a SQUAT GUAT or a Fat Laotian or a Fat Black Woman. Black Women are usually single and they actually like me. black women LOVE me and show me great interest. well not really but they are generally pretty nice to me. i could probably pull a 30 year old black woman with black kids if i were that desperate. and i dont want to be that desperate!

not that they dont deserve somebody 2 Luv! everybody deserves someone 2 Luv!

but as an avowed out of the closet White Nationalist 1488, Interracial Dating and especially MATING is, Y’KNOW, like kinda important to me!

ridiculous QUOTE from my own What 2 Say In An Interview File:
Economics has taught me that everything has a COST. Also about the laws of supply and demand. Marketing has taught me how to create demand and add value.

do not trash you current company when interviewing for a new job. If they ask you why you are leaving, tell them you are happy with what you accomplished at old company but are looking for a place that can provide longer term growth and challenges.

You HAVE to have a thick skin. You HAVE to be able to take “hazing”, whether its from clients or co workers. They probably dont mean it personally, and more importantly, you have to control your emotions, not let them control you. It may be that the person is testing you to see how you deal under pressure. Of course its under pressure that our true self comes out, and we have the chance to really prove ourselves…or choke. If its a coworker simply trying to get under your skin, you can let their words roll right off of you like water off a ducks back, and even give them a taste of their own medicine. If its a client, you simply ignore the disrespect and “kill them with kindness.” In short, in the real world, people don’t always treat you the way you would like to be treated, and you can’t let it bother you, or you won’t get far in life. Sometimes people also push you or test you to see how much they can get away with, and whether or not you will be flustered by verbal jibes or japes. I have self respect and wont allow myself to be treated as a doormat, however I also know how to respect authority and submit when a superior is ordering me to do something. I personally do not usually test people in this way. I simply use the golden rule and treat everybody the way I want to be treated, and I want to be treated with RESPECT.

you can’t just have a Big Picture View. You have to have a Tiny Picture View as well. Super Macro AND Super Micro. you need to be like the EAGLE soaring above at 5000 feet, and be able to see a mouse on the ground below, and zoom in on it with laser like precision. Essentially zoom in from a 5000 foot view to a 1 foot view in a second, with equal clarity at both levels, and at all levels in between. What good is someone who can see super macro and super micro, but they cant discern the large gray area in between? You might see the forest, and you might see a tree…..but could you see HALF the trees? I bring a wide range of accuracy and detail to thought and vision. I am efficient working and solving problems at ALL levels.

Efficiency without effectiveness is not efficient.

Effectiveness without efficiency is not effective.

END

I literally have at least 8 hours of me reading the bullshit in that huge file. not sure how many pages it is, but it is 44000 words, which is about 6-7 times longer than this post so far.

WHAT IF once she hits 30 she contacts me and wants to get Together 4 Realz and fully apologizes and feels bad for what she did. Would I be stupid and desperate enough to accept? probably, if that were the end of the story.

so start adding layers of Red Flags.

what if she has a bastard kid from some deadbeat.

what if the bastard is half BLACK.

what if she has TWO white bastards.

she would CERTAINLY have elevated her number above the National Median of 3. But would she be above 10? 20?

if she had NONE of these dealbreakers i probably would.

she would probably be making more money than me anyway ayyy lmao.

what if she had had x abortions during that time?

assuming a woman would tell you the truth about the number of ABORTIONS she’s had. they are more likely to tell the truth about the number of COX they’ve had! unless they are an out and out abortion lover and baby life hater, in which case……very big red flag.

at 30 she would prob still look ok (unless she doesnt!!!!) but she would look a hell of a lot worse than she looks now! she still has a valuable couple of years before she hits 30!

but i’m OVER 30 ffs!!!!!!!

so what. i would have married young if i had the opportunity. i didnt. or i was too weak to MAKE the opportunity. so now im an older man who wants a younger woman. that is pretty natural actually tbh fam.

but i totally would have married young if i were in a good, healthy, LTR with a young, decent woman. i wouldnt throw it away for some grass is greener bullshit, or some Discover Yourself and Experience The “World” bullshit that women do hahahahaha. and throw away good men who loved them and would have been good husbands for them.

well also if i had a decent career too would be a plus. the Top 10% of Whites do have good careers at age 21. you just got to OUTCOMPETE people to get there and be the 10% best in your field. i did not do this obviously.

though i was in the top 10% for grade school and high school! then became Perfectly Average 50% in college, and after college, my stock kept falling and falling hahahahaha to the point where i wont even state the basics of my life because its just too shameful. basically a huge underachieving white neet. nothing BUT shame in my game!

for rich or poorer, for better or worse, through good times or bad. i never met a bitch that was willing to stick with me through the tuff times.

i guess thats not TOO weird. you gotta EARN it. its a STRUGGLE. its a hero’s quest to find your true maiden. i get that.

but uhhhhh how about you just show me a shred of mercy when you BOLT at the first sign of struggle. say SORRY for leaving me in the lurch before you go jump on the c0k carousel.

im not even sure wordly sluts know of the term cok carousel. ive used the term around men who loved it, well that there was a word for that sort of thing, but ive never used it in conversation with women.

they would probably say ewww thats nasty but still essentially BE ON the cok carousel as they say that.

harder to rationalize away that cognitive dissonance after youre 30 and unmarried. better have a baby with the next deadbeat so you can have some meaning in your life and have someone to chain to you, because its sure as hell not going to be a Good Man. so just use an defenseless, innocent little Human Life you irresponsibly created, B!TCH!

hahahahahaha def a bit of an Anger sort of day.

this is why its hard to get along with women and be friends with them. cuz they are such horrible people hahahaha. so its amazing i even FOUND a woman i got along with very well, and became good friends! you can pump and dump MONSTERS, but can you really Like and Respect them? of COURSHE not!

with couples who are always breaking up and getting back together with each other 10 times, they are still talking and fooking and can actually EXPRESS this sort of anger with each other, instead of just leaving the person alone in their own hell which you had a 50% hand in creating.

and after arguing and arguing and breaking up and getting back together 10 times, BOTH people can say, welp theres no gas left in the tank anymore. this is a dead shark. we are BOTH done. i dont hate you, i wish you well, but this rel is dead, and neither one of us can or wants to bring it back. thanks for the good times, and have a good life.

i SO much would have preffered that. THAT would have been 6000000 times better than TUALAPOG.

just let both parties argue and scream until there is nothing left to say, no gas left in the tank, no anger left, no luv left. that would be SO FOOKIN AWESOME. I WOULD LUV THAT. GIMME THAT ALL DAY OVER THIS.

hmm. in like sept and oct 2014, when i was JUST STARTING to get feelings for her, i was like a BOSS. i didnt like my job but i wasnt in danger of QUITTING IT due to Emotional Insecurity; I said YEP i am gonna TALK to her SOON and get that over with, whats next. hopefully find a better job and get the fook outta here and maybe get a Nice GF for once in my life, maybe. I even used a bit of Playful Tuff Guy Chad GAME with her, saying, I’ll pick where were going (because i know thats how to Win Gurls Approval hahahahaha) and such.

then she had a series of GOOD excuses as well as not so good excuses. tgiving and xmas and new years passed….and NO HANG OUT. i was frustrated. I HAD NOT SEEN THIS COMING. I THOUGHT FOR SURE we would have hung out and talked about this by now.

then job got even worse, and i got even worse, and the excuses got worse. i texted her cutesy shit almost every day and got Warm Fuzzies when she responded. but i had dozens of text drafts i DIDNT send her. that were basically playful fun ways of me telling her i liked her. shit i should have just send some of those. then i would have saved a few months, she prob wouldnt have reacted AS bad, and the issue would be out there.  blurting it out does not have to be all serious. it could have been any one of those dozens of silly texts.

heh. DONT YOU EVEN CARE HOW MY LIFE IS GOING, YOU STUPID COWARDLY B1TCH!!!!!!

i could be dead, in a psych ward, started drinking again, in jail for all she knows.

not that i would EVER K myself over a woman and more importantly, i’d never threaten a woman with that, because thats really really horrible apparently hahahahahaha. then you are the bad guy. then you DID do something horribly wrong and not be aware of it.

WELL I NEVER DID THAT and hopefully never will.

heh. she is prob busy with the busy time at the job right now. hopefully getting the same confusing bullshit I got. i want it to get under HER skin and her to get flustered and frustrated so she knows how I felt. and then have her work friends STAHP giving her moral support. but when has a WOMAN ever stahpped getting moral support. someone is always there to hold their hand through the tuff times hahahahaha. but we MEN do it ALONE.

well i got moral support from other people than her thank god. but it was so disappointing to see someone whod once been your Real Life Friend, shrink back to your Work Friend, to just a Work Acquaintance, to NOBODY.

it happens. but i never left a person in the lurch when they were reaching out to me. i ALWAYS responded and apologized. even if it was kinda half hearted hahahaha. also no one was ever really that DESPERATE to reach out to me. but if they WERE, id respond to them. try to ease their worried mind at least a LITTLE bit. show them a LITTLE kindness to someone who was once my friend.

thats all i wanted hahahaha. just a LITTLE kindness. not a lot.

 

 

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILTIES

feb 1

wow. i really gotta get out this rut. this is no way to live. this is not healthy! i would not recommend this. time to get a new shitty job, go crazy, and quit in a Huff, mving myself even further down the career ladder. i dont move up the ladder with time, i move down it hahahaha.

i grew up having a very negative opinion of women. in short, they were mostly bitchy, dumb, slutty, disgusting, stupid, mean, obnoxious, annoying, awful, scheming, hypocritical, immoral, sneaky, lying, cheating, evil. you couldnt possibly like or respect these pigs. they literally had no redeeming qualities except for the secs they sluttily gave away to every man except YOU hahaha.

probably because most of my friends had bad experiences with women and werent big fans of them either! and that rubbed off on me.

also women seemed intimidating because i didnt know how to talk to them, how to deal with them, and i didnt like how they all had secs with guys so QUICKLY. that seemed like a big deal to me, and i thought shit if youre the one who can get pregnant here, you prob wouldnt have a problem with waiting amirite?

i had muh first crush on a girl in 7th and 8th grade when i was 13/14. that was a bad choice because she was a mudshark slut. yes you could be a mudshark slut at age 14. how disgraceful! but she was a Bad Gurl who liked very Bad Bois. the badder the better. i have no idea why i liked her. prob because she was real purty. i felt that it was disappointing that she was such a bad gurl. i kinda wanted to save her and turn her into a nice gurl hahaha.

then i went into my women hating phase until like age 20/21, when is the second time i develop actual feelings for a woman. and they were very very very strong, and disrupted muh whole life. i didnt know how to deal with them!

in the interim i made out with 1 gurl when i was about 15 and i had VERY mixed feelings about it. i kinda felt pressured into it, that she wanted to do it more than i did, but i just went along to Gain The Experience, but i wasnt particularly HAPPY about it. i was kinda ANGRY about it for a couple years! also she lived like 50 miles away. maybe if she lived nearby i could get to know her as a person.

by age 20/21 i was completely off the track and should have took a hiatus from college at age 20, started intensive shit with a shrink and meds, gone teetotal from alcohol and MJ, stayed at home, got a shitty job, and finished up college at close to home U, pref in STEM hahahahahaha.  but nooooooooooooo i soldiered thru my useless degree and continued all my bad horrible habits.

i became sort of friendly with some women at age 20, but it was not until age 21 that i made my first decent actual official female friend. that was a positive move. also at that age i first pseudodated a gurl. and we rushed through all the beginning stages of a “rel” in a very short time, leaving me confused and sad and angry and disappointed and crazy hahahaha.

i made some more female friends at age 22.

anyway not sure what my point was. probably that its pointless and a bad idea to hate women unless you actually have some female friends.

even as women were dumping me and disappointing me and i should have really Hated All Women, i didnt really, having female friends was really useful in keeping me from hating all women.

you see, i didnt really LIKE hating all women! i didnt WANT to hate all women! it was GOOD for me to have female friends.

now, there was a little bit of drama…..but that was because i had fallen in LUV with a friend of my female friend. so i completely lost muh mind. the regular DRINKING did not help at this point. i should have just stopped drinking and been like ayyyyy baby wan sum hang out lmao and gotten rejected that way, instead of drunkenly pining for her.

MY POINT is, its not fun or good or healthy to Hate Women, and its a lot easier to not hate women when you actually have some Woman Friends. in fact, this will go farther in curing your womanhate, than actually dating or getting feelings for a gurl . cuz that shit always ends badly. with my female friends, well the ones i didnt fall in luv with, it never ended BADLY. we just drifted away as friends often do. but no hard feelings.

and it sucks to think of somebody you were in luv with, you wanted to be with forever, now they are giving dat secs up really easily and quickly to other guys, and that makes you sad, angry, and disgusted. because its none of your business. but i say you are still entitled to your opinion that she should not be a disgusting whore!!!!! and entitled to be hurt when she is. even if shes done with you. becuase you are not quite done with her. you are still in luv with her, still want her. who knows when that is gonna be over.

2% milk has 120 calories per cup, whole milk 150.

yeah i have reading reddit relships all day to convince myself that i did nothing wrong and that she is out of line.

well i admit i was cowardly and weak. but that it wasnt THAT bad. i mean its hard to have a hard discussion. give me a damn break. i wasnt trying to AVOID it. i was trying to confront it, in my weak way. i was hinting an signally heavily, and trying to hang out. she was tyring to avoid everything.

i dunno i dont like to be treated so disrespectfully. its very disrespectful to be Thrown Away Like Garbage!!!! can you understand that?!?!?!?!?!

its not so bad if its a random stranger. then you can just say fookin asshole and never see them again. but when they were once your friend, a good friend, and they do this……its LIKE a betrayal hahahahahah.

plus her throwing me away like garbage is WAY more disrespectful than me getting feelings for her.

i didnt think she had such little respect for me! so that was shocking! shit she used to have a lot of respect for me.

i have never lost this much respect for a person! i dont even know how to relate to that! well except when women dump me and go be huge sluts hahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

hmm i almost wrote a response to this guy but he deleted his story and i cant find a cache/archive of it hahahaha.

nothing TOO exciting, i just sorta related to him. young man and his gf dumped him. not in the worst way, but not in the best way either. i wanted to use it as an example of, yeah this isnt the worst dumping, but women should aim to dump a lot better than this.

how are they so stupid and UnEmpathic that they dont know or dont care that they will be causing a person Great Pain?

how are relships such ugly, disappointing, tragic, heartbreaking, insane, Wrong, Clusterfooks??!?!?!?!?!?! cant people get along better than this? just use a LITTLE common sense. i would treat a person way better than this.

therefore, it is WOMEN who are at fault for all the Sorrow and Badness in Bad Relships hahahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/43mukg/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

http://archive.is/uq1hT

FOUND IT! he crossposted it in relship advice as well. and i archived it for all eternity hahahaha

what i would say to him: yeah she COULD HAVE shown you even LESS respect by cheating on you….but she SHOULD have shown you a HELL of a lot MORE respect tho, by taking into account your feelings about being dumped, and being nice but decisive in dumping you.

IMHO, when you agree to a rel with them, you OWE IT TO THEM, its part of your RESPONSIBILITIES to them, to dump them gently and kindly and compassionate, if it reaches the point where you want to dump them and they want to stay/work on the rel….and you want to get out.  its like an early termination fee. the “fee” is simply BE NICE. BE KIND. BE GENTLE.

i would NEVER treat somebody like this unless i HATED them. i would never HATE them unless they made a concerted effort to push my buttons. i wouldnt hate somebody for getting feelings for me. i know you just cant turn feelings on an off at will, for any random person.

i hated one guy because he trolled me on our views of the world and became the most annoying faggot you wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

i think thats how i made her feel hahahaha.

to her i became a really annoying faggot she wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

damn.

punchable faces hahahaha.

that might be the best word for how she felt about me. the reaction i got out of her.

but i really feel if she took 5 minutes to think about it like an adult, she would see how ridiculous that is. why couldnt she give me that courtesy after the years together? are all women this childish and stupid and obtuse and unkind?

its totally immature, like something a 14 year old would do.

and in some ways i am very very emotionally mature, like a 14 year old: i get feelings too fast and too strong, i get feelings if i have secs or make out with or even cuddle with a gurl, and get way too attached to them too fast.

but i think this is a more positive way to be emotionally immature, than in the bad way, were you are paranoid and throwing tantrums and hate people for shitty reasons, and cant even attempt empathy, and are all hot and cold with no in between.

i mean she has empathy too, ive seen her use empathy, shes empathzed with ME before! just in this SITUATION to have her get so bipolar, was weird as hell, and caught me COMPLETELY off guard.

some woman on TRS forum said to be attractive to women, you have to TAKE REJECTION WELL. I thought this was stupid because a. nobody takes rejection super well b. if a woman rejects you and sees that you arent really upset….then what? is she gonna revoke her rejection? probably not. and if she did, that would be stupid and shameful and not the type of woman you want to be with.

so in other words, when That Woman rejected me, she probably hated and disrespected me EVEN MORE when she saw how upset and devastated and hurt I was.

i dunno this makes women seem like SADISTS, just shoveling hate and misery and suffering on men.

it did not seem worth it to autistically argue this one point with the forum woman hahahaha

well i took THE PREVIOUS REJECTION PRETTY WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TAKE REJECTION AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED, WHEN THE WOMAN MAKES AN EFFORT TO BE NICE ABOUT IT!!!!

why WOULD you reject someone in the meanest way possible?  because you HATE them?

why wouldnt you TRY to be nice or sympathetic when you are rejecting someone?

why would she not even take 5 minutes to THINK ABOUT THIS and how what i did was not some evil horrible thing???????

what the hell did her friends and family say when she talked about it with her? surely they cant all be as fooked up as her! unless she lied to them and said “UGH hes been creeping and stalking on me for months. he KNOWS im not interested but he still doesnt TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!” and then they say “well dump that creeper to the curb gurlfran, you dont owe him an apology lmao”

cuz she seemed pretty reasonable and thoughtful, and her family did too, such that if she were making a horrendous Lapse In Judgment, they would steer her the right way. and i believe this was a Horrendous Lapse In Judgment on her part.

yeah yeah yeah a tale as old as time, but im not used to it happening to me, from a person i really didnt expect it from.  it shattered my confidence and made me think, hmmm maybe i really DID do something awful to warrant this. i dont realize it but i still stabbed her right in the back and she is just showing righteous anger now. i am reaping what i sowed, even though i didnt realize i sowed it.

so yeah its a long process trying to convince myself that i am not reaping what i sowed, that this was a YUGE lapse in judgment on her part.

but what DID she say to her family and friends? that i was just being a CREEPER WEIRDO and not taking NO for an answer? how much would they have pushed back on that? I”LL NEVER KNOW. Like they could ask her, well did you TALK to him about this? did you tell him you dont want to hang out, or do you keep telling him later, later, later? do you think maybe he likes you? dont HATE him for THAT. hes not a bad guy!! try not to break his heart when you dump him, he’s not trying to hurt you. hey maybe even give him a try, he would treat you really well, you could do a lot worse, you already know each other and get along. you knew this guy for almost 3 years and used to be good friends. dont just throw him away like a piece of garbage, he’ll be devastated, and thats just bad karma, not a cool thing to do to anybody. think about it. if he had any choice in this, why would he pick a time when its bad timing? did he write you any emails? oh a couple long super long emails? did you read them or just delete them? this isnt some random weirdo. remember not too long ago you were telling me what a good person he was. so treat him like that.

ok fatclub. hopefully TRUMPENFUHRER wins iowa caucus. is there one winner for each party?

whos worse, bernie or hillary? probably hillary hahahahahahahaha. bernie admits he is a j00ish socialist hahahaha.

AND if she told me WHY she couldnt just talk to me….oh because i BETRAYED her. i would STILL want to talk about THAT.

well i dont agree i betrayed you.

well i think you did.

and you think I will be able to convince her i didnt betray her? I, as the accused betrayer?  I would need a damn independent tribunal. 3rd parties. which i why i wanted her to talk to her friends and family. shit i should have Reached Out to her friends and family at the time. i thought about contacting her mother. i met the mother a few times and she seemed to like me, and i guess the woman used to tell her mother all sorts of good things about me. if i were personally closer with the mother, i probably would have contacted her!!!!

but i just wonder what The Woman told her mother, and what the mother said. I will NEVER KNOW.

its really hard to say!

maybe there was no talk at all. or it was like, yeah, were not getting along so well right now, we are drifting apart, not as close anymore, oh well that happens, thats life.

i just hate thinking this will happen again: that i will accidentally do something HORRIBLY WRONG an drive the woman of muh dreams away from me;

and also worried i will never feel that way about a woman again. i am getting OLD, and i dont like older women, and i dont like casual sex women on the websites.

heh. i thought I WONDER IF SHE IS ON TINDER then i saw you couldnt browse tinder without a smart phone.

i actually went to tinder with the intent of looking for HER. confirming that she is putting herself out there for casual sex.

anyway i hate making mistakes, HUGE mistakes, without even being aware that i am.

and if this is the LAST woman….damn.

i wish she hadnt made me feel like i royally screwed up.

but no one can make you feel someway without your permission.

but…..when they treat you like you did something horribly wrong….they are kinda making you feel you did something horribly wrong. and in at least 50%, they would probably be RIGHT!

essentially i am being falsely accused hahahaha. i dont know how this feels. it is so confusing and disorienting.

cuz sometimes….its RIGHT for you to feel bad, its not a matter of you “giving permission to let someone else make you feel bad.” its because you really did something bad to them, they are upset at you, they should be, and you feel bad.

and you SHOULD listen to the people who you care about and who you thought cared abotu you. because their perceptions of you matter.

so when someone who mattered to me a lot thought i was a awful piece of shit…….i was hurt, and i felt horrible for hurting them.

heh. they should have KNOWN that i would take this hard. they should have thought hmmm he will prob be hurt by this, probably should tread lightly. not be EXTRA HARSH.

well really extra harsh would be her TELLING ME all sorts of shitty things like “i hate you, you did this to yourself, you made me do this, youre horrible person,etc” while dumping me. really she was just too afraid of confrontation.

she might ahve WANTED to be nicer to me, she was just too SCARED to.

I WILL NEVER KNOW.

and because i was obsessed about handling the rejection like a man….i did not contact her 90000000000000000 times afterwards. i contacted her like 4 times. i begged a little bit but not too much. i didnt bombard her with so much shit, to FORCE her to say “stop harrassing me, i am blocking you, if you stalk me im getting a restraining order” etc. she just blocked me on FB and she may have blocked me on phone and email, no way to confirm that.

just watching iowa caucus instead of going to fatclub. i came in under muh calorie goal anyway so thats good. on muh BEEF DIET hahahaha. best shit ever.

but yeah so disappointing. she could have just sent a message and said this will be the last message, im blocking you after this, but SORRY SORRY SORRY, i didnt mean to hurt you. and that would have saved a decent amount of pain.

ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD. it seems like it would be HARDER to do what shes actually doing. i mean the guilt would eat me alive.

but she is good at avoiding confrontation. yeah i keep forgetting she does have a red flag that she is able to just throw away her responsibilities and run away in shameful ways. its sad cuz she can do better. but stupid when you are on the receiving end of that.

i say she has nothign but yellow flags but this one might be a red. not going to go into detail here hahaha.

0202

gotta when you get up in the morning say: i definitely did not deserve this. i did not do something horribly wrong. they have made an EGREGIOUS error in judgment. they got me wrong, and they did me wrong. it was a horrible misunderstanding that will NEVER be resolved.

just dont like poeple being WRONG about me.

also i dont know if she felt betrayed by me, or she just wanted to GET RID of me. maybe she does feel bad. she is not a horrible person, but when she is forced to make a difficult choice, she has a tendency to break down and NOT do the right thing. a good person who makes horrible, regrettable choices. it really is kinda tragic but i cant save her from herself. unless she lets me. which she wont. hahahaha. ok have fun either having mud bastards, or becoming a crazy old catlady. and if you have a kid you will prob not be good mother hahahaha.

she has the potential to be a good mother, but also the potential to be a bad mother. its hard to tell. she might decide its too HARD to be a good mother and then just neglect her children and emotionally abandon them. is that the kind of woman i want to be married to, having my children? FOOK NO!!!!!

its similar to a woman having an ABORTION. its a convenient, expedient, super effective, but very morally ambiguous (and i would say, very immoral!!) “Solution” to a “problem”.  and probably the woman doesnt feel HAPPY about it, might even feel long term guilt or conflict about it, and they arent angry or hateful or feel BETRAYED by the baby theyre killing.

but yeah if you can just GET RID OF a PERSON, its kinda like KILLING them! except here, you’re still alive!

its weird being metaphorically KILLED by somebody important to you! it sends the message that your LIFE isnt very important to them. at least not more important than their feelings of discomfort.

she has the capacity to do the right thing and be a good person…..but when it comes time to make some real important decisions…..she CHOKES and does NOT rise to the occasion.

i mean i am the same way. i know how to be a good person but its so HARD, and i have made bad decisions just because i was too WEAK to do the right thing.

i dunno you could still send a messenger to say to me, she doesnt mean to metaphorically KILL you. she feels real bad about this and wants the best for you. even THAT would be a step up.

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

  1.  I have the right to be not thrown away like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.
  2. You have the responsibility to not throw me like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.

hahahahahahahah ayyyyyyy lmao.

i mean just show a little Respect for the Dignity of Human Life.

Dont Throw PEOPLE away like GARBAGE.

dont date / have secs with more than one person at a time.

this is all very r-selected behavior. we HAVE to be better than that. I want to be better than that, and my topkek m8 also wants to be better than that. choose k-selection. dont be like CRAB PEOPLE. crabs in a bucket. rat race. no. each of those squirming rats are special and have dignity. treat them as such.

also if youve known someone for 3 years, then its even WORSE if you throw them away like garbage.

this is very different than a mutual drift away, where BOTH people dont want to put too much effort into the rel.

but appreciate that this person you knew for 3 years has feelings and their feelings will be DEVASTATED if you do this to them. and then make an effort not to do that to them.

so next time some catlady dyke bitch gives you shit about ENTITLEMENT, show her the Relationships Bill Of Rights And Responsibilities, and say, and say something like, is it ENTITLEMENT to have a REASONABLE EXPECTATION that the person will not treat you like a piece of garbage?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve not to be Abused?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve to be Communicated With?

really the feminist antimale cat lady is just the Jury Of Women in my Head. the internal self critic. saying you dont deserve this and youre not entitled to this, but you DO deserve to be thrown away like garbage, because you were a horrible person to her.

went to shrink today, shrink agrees that i am not a horrible person, but shoeld have discussed that a bit more hahahaha.

how is it SO HARD for me to CONVINCE myself that i did not deserve this?

well because that woman and her opinion of me was important to me!

but yeah. she REALLY could have done a LOT better. how disappointing.

so….what do CHEATERS deserve? what do ABUSERS deserve?

this is the kind of shit i obsess over. even though i never cheated and i damn sure never abused.

well abuse is probably worse than cheating.

and abandonment/ghosting/throwing you away like a piece of garbage is…..better than cheating? worse than cheating? its probably better than ABUSE. idunno. its seems really neck and neck with cheating! at least cheaters usually pretend to show remorse and beg im sorrrrrrrry baby ill never do it again! and then they do it again.

what about abortion? where does that go on the bad things scale. worse than abuse? worse than cheating?

well i would THINK its worse than abuse, its damn killing a baby!!!!!! hahahahaah

now the jury of women says: but thats oversimplifying, and as a man, i have no place to talk. its just a nonsentient clump of cells at this point AND its a very humane compassionate choice, to spare the future child a life of hardship.

if you talk about “AGENCY” that is a DOGWHISTLE that you a shitlord racist hahahaha. because that means you are Punching Down on Oppressed Groups by Blaming the Victim, and by IMplying that Oppressed Groups had Agency in preventing or doing something about their Oppression.

Because Agency is defined according to the people in power (cis white men hahahaha) , Cis White Men Oppress Oppressed groups by taking AWAY their agency! so to say they still HAVE agency is denying that white men are oppressing them!

redacted

gr8 thread. beta autist 19 yo young man on my racistforum has a date with a Chubby Guatemalan and the talk gets REALLY real.

 

101 IQ / MONOGAMY IS MISOGYNY

0130

yeah buddy.

today i learned to never put bananas in the freezer to make them last longer. and then take a banana out and put it in the fridge overnight to “defrost” it, and it should be Good 2 Go the next day. NO IT WILL NOT. it will have brown skin and the banana inside will be TOTAL MUSH.

you can keep bananas in the fridge but never put them in the freezer ever.

when you have secs or even just cuddle with someone, you start to feel a CLOSENESS with them. IMHO this is Nature TELLING you something, and it is BAD to ignore it. say, oh, thats just an ARCHAIC ARTIFACT our brains have not evolved out of YET, but we SHOULD, because we dont live in caves any more, and casual sex is fun! so when you get feelings from casual sex, just be logical, say well i dont even KNOW this person, and realize you have to reprogram your brain so that it gets used to casual sex. our brains didnt evolve for casual sex….YET, but we can push them that way!

yeah i dont think we CAN or SHOULD.

i mean casual sex is like the root cause of sluts. because sluts think they can have secs with whomever, whenever, and its all just fun. if thats not CASUAL secs i dont know what is!

so yeah i am  an (anti) CASUAL SECS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!!

well i had my own bad habits too. so maybe  deserve no better than a reformed slut. yeah i guess i could lower muh standards and live with that hahaha. so long as she was TRULY reformed!!!! and said yes i am honestly ashamed of what i did, heres why its wrong, and i will never go back to that way of life again!

because i feel the same way about my degeneracy. yeah it was a phase, but it was a BAD phase and im ashamed of it and never want to go back to it! and i dont think it was NECESSARY! i wish i had NEVER gone through it! i regret it! i didnt learn anythign or become a better person because of it. i wish i had avoided it altogether.

and so i think a truly reformed and rehabilitated slut will feel the same way about her slut period. wishes she had NEVER BEEN a slut, just like i wish i had NEVER BEEN a degen.

https://voat.co/v/relationships/comments/803861

i forgot that voat is a thing, it looks and works like reddit but is less degen and antimale and antiwhite and sjw-y. better smarter people in other words. i THINK.  it doesnt have nearly as many users but i am CAUTIOUSLY optimistic it will survive. basically a reddit alternative to smart elite 115 IQ people like us who cringe in disgust at reddit hahahaha.

edit: since it is such a small community, there are not a lot of comments, and this damn degen polyamorist woman keeps showing up more than i would like with her degenerate point of view. and is not getting downvoted into oblivion like she should be hahahaha. so this particular subverse may be too tolerant of degeneracy.

http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_much_of_a_cuck_are_you_1

https://www.voat.co/v/relationships/comments/292352

guy in a rel with a depressed gf who refuses to get help

oh well why doesnt he just dump her because its never worth working on anything with someone.

that or its his fault she is derpressed and he needs to step his game up and work harder.

hahahaha.

no they advise that she needs to get into counseling, he will probably need to make the appointment for her to get her started, and that if she refuses to cooperate, thats a legit dealbreaker.

heh. i am so CUCKED that if a gurl shows interest in other guys, i will say, ok, go hang out with him, go fook him, just make sure you make him wear a condo, and PLZ DONT DUMP ME. im not thrilled with you being with other guys but i know i dont OWN you and if this is what you need to do to make you happy and not dump me…..

and then get dumped anyway for NOT BEING THRILLED about their Polyamory hahahahahaha. i have to let them fook other people AND i have to be HAPPY about it. SORRY I cant see myself EVER being THAT cucked. thank GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

but yeah. i honestly thought she cared for me more. than i MEANT more to her, that i was more IMPORTANT in her life, that she could NEVER do something this bad to somebody that IMPORTANT to her.

and i KNOW i USED to be IMPORTANT to her because we were friends for a damn long time, and she told me i was important to her, and i believed it, and felt it!!!!! and we BOTH knew we were going through a rough patch here and probably needed to end……… but that still doesnt explain how a person just LOSES VALUE to you. you might not love or like them any more but at least recognize their VALUE as a person. their WORTH. you might feel differently about them but they’re not WORTH any less. and she treated me like i was WORTHLESS. and i was mind blown by, how can i be worth a LOT to her one year, then WORTHLESS to her no more than 1 year later???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

i just wish she hadn’t treated me like i was SO WORTHLESS when she dumped me. she could have dumped me without treating me as WORTHLESS.

when someone is WORTH a LOT to you, and you are worth NOTHING to them. and you thought you were worth a lot more to them. because you knew them for YEARS and were friends for a long time. damn.

SHE BETRAYED ME A LOT MORE THAN I BETRAYED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do I SEEK people that are BAD for me? people that are immature and crazy and that will hurt me?

i dont think so, because the previous woman, woman2012, woman….5 i think? was mature and well adjusted and dumped me in a good way. she was a good choice for me.

also this other gurl that i liked and would have dated and had a crush on her in like 2006-7. but i had no chance because she moved to a diff state soon after i met her. we just hung out a couple times and got along real well and she was real nice to me and she was cute and nonslutty and my type of girl. plus i think she would have been mature enough to dump me in a respectful way hahahahaha.

i took her out of the numbered women lineup simply because we were never THAT close. we could have been though. there was GREAT potential.

i also took out the woman i “liked” directly after her, who was a crazy disgusting mudshark whore who was an great example of me being attracted to the Wrong people sometimes.

but woman2015, i didnt think she was the WRONG person. i thought she was a RIGHT person. she didnt seem to be CRAZY and FOOKED UP. Sure she had some daddy issues but they didnt turn her into a crazy slut. i thought she was pretty uncrazy. but what she did here drove ME fooking crazy. i honestly did not see this coming. i did not expect this out of her. she wasnt a bipolar borderline slut. she seemed STABLE.  damn.

well i had never had this done to me before. i had no idea it would hurt so bad. and i had no idea SHE would do it to me.

well thing is i think i still do mean something to her, shes just TOO SCARED to do the right thing. she is the type to get scared and run away all the time. unless the shit is unavoidable.  like she is totally in luv with someone, or lives with someone, etc.

like if i lived with her, it would be physically impossible for her to do this to me.

well, i worked with her every day, youd think that would be bad enough. youd THINK.

she didnt think this through. but when do women ever think things through? and how can the world exist when all women just dont think? BECAUSE MEN DO THEIR THINKING FOR THEM. Women face no consequences for their own bad choices, men shoulder those responsibilities too hahahah . well except if a woman has a bastard baby with a deadbeat. in some of those cases, women do actually face consewuences for bad decisions.

well except when it comes to like voting, in that case, our antiwhite enemies, do their thinking for them. yes shiksas vote for abortion and more gibs 4 single mothers hahahaha. you are a stronk independent woman dont need no man.

i am just pissed that she faces NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THIS. she doesnt feel bad, she doesnt know she did anything wrong, she still thinks I am a piece of shit and i deserved it, and she did something AWFUL, and has NO CLUE, and will probably do something like this AGAIN to some other poor sap and STILL not face consequences for it.

well life isnt fair. sometimes people DONT face consequences for doing horrible things.

heh. i should stop smoking cigarets altogether but i really dont smoke that many, less than half a pack a week atm. so today i go out to my fav tobacco store and it is closed due to fire damage. havent been there in months. funny thing is there is an Abortionist in the same plaza about 3 doors down and they were still open. but the place right next door to it was not. hehehehe. well thank magic black science man the babykiller is still open hahahahahahahahaha. i then went to another tobacco shop and the arab employees were talkign really loud in arabic hahahaha.

also i am CERTAIN the southeast asian community ie vietnamese, thai, laos, cambodians etc have been steadily increasing in our area, probably in all areas. are they better or worse than chinese? probably worse hahahaha.

heheheh woman writes in complaining about infidelity or wandering eye from man. response: dump the pig!

man writes in about woman wanting to not be exclusive. response: shame on you! you dont own her! she can do what she wants with her hot body! dont try to control her you abusive pig!

https://iy.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43fiyi/ex_22f_who_cheated_and_left_me_25m_for_that/

oh wow reddit actually gives good advice. young man’s gf cheat on him, lies to him, leaves him for other man, now she contacts him and wants to be Just Friends. should he accept! and reddit tells him NO. FOOK THAT BITCH. when i was expecting reddit to say of courshe! whats wrong with wanting to be friends? arent you MATURE enough to be friends? she could be a wonderful friend! and when did she ever agree to an exclusive rel? it wasnt actually cheating in the first place! and other such DEGENERATE “advice.” but reddit actually said something reasonable here hahahaha.

https://iy.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/437td5/my_24_m_so_21_f_is_asking_me_if_its_ok_if_she/

has a great response in there:

QUOTE

YourWebcamIsOn 5 points 22 hours ago
look, dude. she’s cheated before and now she wants to use her looks to get attention from men. oh yes, she just wants their money, riiiiiiight. This slippery slope couldn’t get any slicker if you turned it vertical and coated it in Teflon doused with Astroglide.
Next thing you’ll hear from her is “well, you didn’t give me enough attention and you made me feel bad about trying to get free drinks, so I went to the bar and when this cute guy offered me a drink, then another and another I just couldn’t say no and then we had sex in the bathroom and it all just happened so fast and I didn’t mean to, but this is your fault…”

END

hahahahaha. well memed. anyway.

so just think about it. if i posted my shit on a forum what would they say? theyd say exactly what id expect them to say. thought exercise. that it was kinda shitty for her to shut me down in that way. but shitty things happen, life isnt fair, people hurt other people, and just try to learn from this, know that all women arent like that, dont let it make you hate all women, and move on, dont waste your time with somebody who has such little respect for you.  the end.

they might disagree on whether i NEEDED to have a talk with them. well, you were giving her hints, she was picking them up, and avoiding you like the plague. that means she wasnt into you and didnt want to talk about it. yeah communication is good but that was her form of communication. which kinda sucks but theres nothing you can do about it. should have just started distancing yourself from her. you didnt really NEED to blurt it out, she was already telling you the answer, and even if you ARE autistic, it looks like you read her signals correctly.

http://www.seemypersonality.com/Personality-Report?u=sIQx3x5346921-2165816x089f3x1#tab-1

noooo this one says i have an iq of 101 holy shit and this covers more than pattern recognition

this is terrible. i put a lot of importance on intelligence and iq and figured it was one of the only skills i had. and to find out i am COMPLETELY AVERAGE is pretty disappointing. and i KNOW i USED to be smarter when i was young! but i lost at LEAST 10% of my intelligence through my degen lifestyle of MJ and alcohol and emotional bullshit!!!!!!

AT LEAST 10%!!!!!!!!!!

i had to be at LEAST 120 or 125 when i was young!

I coulda been a phd! i coulda been an stemgineer hahahaha now i cant be anything cuz i r 2 dumm.

how the fook can i be 101! i was disappointed with 115 and wanted to take another bullshit free online iq test to get a higher score! not a LOWER one! not one that is PERFECTLY AVERAGE!

muh intelligent brain was THE ONLY THING I HAD TO OUTCOMPETE OTHERS! and the idea that i am AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE is just very heartbreaking and discouraging hahahaha.

like fooook. this was ALL I HAD. im below average everywhere else: work ethic, charisma, outgoingness. but AT LEAST i am SUPER smart. and to think i may not be super smart at ALL.

well at least i am not BELOW AVERAGE for whites hahahahahaha.

also im sure a lot of it i did to myself with MJ and alcohol before age 25. shit.

shit. i mean i know i did a stupid major in college but i didnt think you could get INTO the college i did with a lousy 101 iq!!!!! although that college thought iq b racis n sheeeeit. and back then i probably had an iq well over 101 hhahaha.

so stupid.

common courtesy. if someone begs you for mercy, try to show them a little more mercy. unless they raepd and killed your family. NOT if they gradually came to get feelings for you after being friends for a while jeez.

what do white men with 101 IQ do with their lives? well they probably shouldnt go to college and they certainly couldnt be doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists, professors. but they could sure go to trade school and with hard work, rise to the top there! become a master electrician or plumber and own their own business ultimately and make well over 150k  a year! provided they dont get sidetracked with drugs or alcohol or gambling or alimony or other shit.

could they go to college and get a business degree? probably! could they use it to actually make 40k a year? MAYBE. it would help alot if they had good social skills, charisma, game.

i thought that it was the TRADEOFF for me having bad social skills and bad game, that i then had EXTRAORDIARY intelligence. not ORDINARY intelligence!!!!!

you cant be socially awkward AND Just Plain Average intelligence!!!!!! that is a recipe for total failure if i ever heard of one! maybe thats why i am indeed a total failure hahahaha.

i mean you dont need higher than a 101 IQ to do perfectly fine in life: get a decent job, get a decent wife, 3 or more kids.

fook. you just think that if you’re DUMBER, then you are also more mentally/emotionally stable/well adjusted. its a sign of intelligence to be CRAZY in other words.

but maybe its NOT hahahahah. to be dumb AND crazy hahaha. what a shit sandwich.

heh. an ounce of cereal has more calories than an ounce of nonlean (80/20) ground beef.

i am on a Beef Diet right now. just eat straight up beef. with minimal bread or grains. basically stuff as much beef as humanly possible into a tortilla.

im just sick of bitches dumping ME, and me getting my heart broke, and getting SET BACK with despair and failure and shit, and they just keep getting ahead in life, and feel no remorse hahahaha.

well the other bitches felt some remorse so good for them. but they still became successful and respected hahaha.

this one was the WORST. and see i thought she was the BEST. she was BETTER than any woman i had ever met, otherwise we wouldnt get along so well and become such good friends.

and then she went and did the WORST thing to me any woman has ever done, become essentially the WORST woman i ever met. and i never saw it coming. there were no real red flags. there were yellow flags that i investigated and gave the all clear. there was nothing indicating she would just throw a person away like this, i had never known her to do it before. foooooooook.

well at least then i cant really blame myself for “I SHOULDA SEEN IT COMING A MILE AWAY.” Nope. no way I COULD have.

so if anything that reflects even MORE poorly on her. like way to really spring this on this guy. not like i was SPRINGING my feelings on her. i told her in december “you are really important to me, and I hope we can hang out more and become even closer friends in 2015 if you are willing.” hehehehe pretty dead giveaway amirite? that is like the clearest signal there ever was.

OBVIOUSLY i am hung up on this. it takes time to get over hardcore shit.

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW, I ONLY HAVE A 101 IQ. I am not as smart as i thought i was, and that was the ONLY thing i had any confidence in hahhahahaha.

i am SO fooking neurotic and crazy that youd think i would HAVE to be J00ish. its unfortunate.  thing is, even if i were 1/8 J’ish, i’m still as neurotic as a FULL BLOWN J. besides, I’m more than likely no more than 1/16 J’ish, and even thats a high estimate, i am probably 99.9999999% white. i am more likely to have……i dunno. a black? a turk/saracen? somewhere in there. i mean i come from really good stock. thats why its extra super disappointing i turned out the way i did hahahahaha.

ok time to go to the fatclub and look at promiscuous 20 year old girls with skintight pants and dead souls hahahahahaha. and half of them are not white enough for me hahahahaha. arabs and turks. semites and saracens hahahaha.

0131

heh i keep forgetting that im just an average idiot. well i WAS smart when i was 18 i can say!

ok when you do incline on the treadmill you have to NOT hold on to the rail or else it negates it somehow. i have a bad habit of holding onto the rail .

shit. maybe i was so confused at my job simply because i WASNT THAT SMART and i couldnt figure out the god damn problems because i didnt have the BRAINPOWER.

but i did top 10% in high school, i got admitted to a pretty selective college, people thought i was pretty smart, I thought i was pretty smart, basically my smart brain was the ONLY advantage i had in this world! how could I be just average 101 iq! average normies usually arent all crazy and awkward and creepy and autistic and spergy and weird. their social skills and people skills and emotional stability make up for their lack of brilliant intelligence.

well the reasonable thing to say is DONT TRUST FREE ONLINE IQ TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i have seen my iq estimated at 101, 115, and around 130. wtf. 130 estimate comes from my actual ACT score. but should i trust that conversion process which estimates your IQ from you ACT score???!?!?!?!

also i got an A or an A+ in calculus 2. and i also got A’s in computer programming 2. i think that should count for something! this was AFTER i destroyed my mind with drinking and MJ!

shit. she was just being a BASIC BITCH to me, showing me none of the goodwill i thought our relationship entitled both of us to. she was just a basic bitch treating me like a basic beta orbiter. completely disregarding that we were real people who knew each other for YEARS.

that feel when someone who USED to like hanging out with you, now doesnt want to hang out with you at ALL, avoids you like the PLAGUE. it is not a confidence builder hahahaha. now they invite other cooler people to things they would have invited you to in the past, that they dont even tell you about now.  it just hurts to be pushed out of somebodys life, to be DOWNGRADED, and ultimately disposed of. how is that SO HARD for the jury of women in muh head to UNDERSTAND hahahaha.

maybe super promiscuous women would be better at dumping men in a good way, because they have been with SO MANY men. so they know the right way to dump them hahahaha. so maybe i should aim for promiscuous women hahahaha an avoid nonpromiscuous women hahahahaa.

ive never had a woman get so UPSET with me prior to the end of the rel. usually the woman has enough sense to realize that ending the rel will hurt me and upset ME, so they do it gently. here, she was mad and cold and distant for months leading up to the end. so she thinks she doesnt owe it to be nice to me when dumping me, because i was a horrible piece of shit who MADE her do this.

and i hate people getting upset at me when i am not trying to upset them.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43gjoi/me_22_m_with_my_now_ex_24_f_she_cheated_sort_of/

” After a long talk she tells me that she assumed I knew that we had broken up months ago and were just living together as roommates. ”

SHE BLAMES HIM FOR NOT KNOWING THEY WERE “BROKEN UP” EVEN THOUGH SHE NEVER TOLD HIM THEY WERE BROKEN UP, SHE JUST EXPECTED HIM TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE DONE. YET STILL LIVING TOGETHER. hehehehehe. she expected him to know that they were finished. even though she NEVER TOLD HIM i wannt break up with you. wtffffffffffffffffffffff.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43fywj/i_25_m_was_dumped_1_yr_ago_by_my_gf_23f_of_seven/

guy wants closure, is despairing after about a year, just cant get over it, she is now quickly engaged to some new guy.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43cm45/my_20_m_girlfriend_19_f_broke_up_with_me_a_few/

hahahaha now this guy writes a BOOK how CREEPY guys that are this CREEPY deserve to be alone their entire lives and deserve to be dumped!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4391db/me_30_mf_with_my_wife_31_f_16_years_my_wife_is/

gf of 16 years just wants to walk out with no explanation, no effort, reddit says that sucks but just let the bitch walk, you deserve better, good advice reddit hahahaha

oh its his fault because he wasnt EXCITING or FUN enough because he was being the Support. but he wasnt being fun, exciting, or ambitious on himself. of COURSE she got bored and wants to leave him. who wants to be SUPPORTED hahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/42bn9y/i_20f_hung_out_with_a_guy_24m_off_tinder_no/

idiot nerd slut is confused because super awkward beta nerd doesnt know how to make secscual moves on the FIRST DATE and she asks if shes friendzoned.  these young women think its WEIRD to not get physical on the FIRST DATE. never even THINK the guy might a. be awkward b. not like SLUTS who PUT OUT on the first date hahahaha

Don’t make a priority of someone who makes you an option.

well thats a good lesson hahahahaha. and for her I WASNT EVEN AN OPTION ANY MORE.

i didnt realize that though. i didnt realize how close she was to being 100% done with the whole thing. i thought she still had SOME care for me as a person. because WHO WOULDNT? ive NEVER wanted to just be DONE with somebody without considering their feelings!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/42eqva/what_my_boyfriend_23m_views_as_the_silent/

he views it as silent treatment from her, she views it as cooling off period.

it only lasts for a few hours. its a cooling off period. silent treatment is when they AVOID or IGNORE you and talking to you for DAYS and might continue to do so FOREVER.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/41atej/i_29_m_confronted_my_girlfriend_29_f_about_her/

guy is starting to get jealous because his longterm gf is texting with a male friend which borders on “an emotional affair”. some decent noncuck advice from reddit. ie, this isnt right, you shouldnt have to put up with this….not SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS! MONOGAMY IS MISOGYNY!!!! HOW COULD YOU EXPECT SOMEONE TO HAVE SECS WITH ONLY YOU THE REST OF THEIR LIFE?! HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES!

basically ive found that ((((REDDIT)))) is not as degen and antimale as i thought they were, in terms of defending good men in the face of evil unfaithful women hahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43k7lq/im_very_confused_everything_was_going_great_until/

young collegeboi meets a Gr8 Gurl, everything is going great, he starts getting feelings….and she says NOPE just not ready for a rel right now see ya. this happens all the time. well at least they didnt have SECS because most gurls would have had SECS in this time becuase its just FUN.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/40caow/bf_30_m_gives_me_23_f_silent_treatment_for_days/

like this guy gives the silent treatment for days and sounds like a real asshole hahahaha.

https://dg.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43lhnh/im_23_m_in_love_with_my_friend_25_f_for_5_months/

well i GUESS im glad i am not alone in shit getting COMPLICATED. this guy feel in love with his female friend, who just had a bad breakup with her shitty boyfraind, they broke up 10 times before, and during a recent breakup, the OP and his female friend “FOOLED AROUND” whether that means secs or just making out. anyway now hes in luv with her, shes probably for real done with the dbag bf, the OP is honest with her about his feelings, like yeah i like you, but it doesnt look hopeful. well i am sure she is confused right now too. but i would not like her to immeidately start fooking some other guy, without giving her friend OP a CHANCE.  cuz they already get along, he gets along with her mom, and he would treat her right.

heh. i created a reddit account just to upvote and save this one.

apparently a good move is to ask the girl to hang out…….but this time as an official date. heh. i dont know how you do that, when previously you have hung out As Friends. then as you start liking her, you get more NErvous abotu hanging out. Then what do you say….wanna hang out…..but this time as a Date?

heh. i was trying to do this anyway and she just avoided the shit out of it. i said heavily suggestive shit like “i wanna take you out to a fancy restaurant, im buying🙂 ” and shit like that. rather than well lets hang out and go to dinner at normie platonic restaurant hahahaha. she had to have gotten the hint, and her putting it off was her way of saying NO. i didnt read it that way at the time though. i thought….well shes not saying NO! so in a little bit of TIME she WILL be ready and willing!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/41nvv4/my_so_27m_of_twoish_years_is_giving_me_24f_the/

” People are endlessly fickle. The test of whether somebody really is interested in you is if they want to spend actual real time with you, texting is dangerous in my opinion for tending to create false intimacy. Be straight with her, tell her you want to meet up and spend time together on a date at a specific time. If she does not go for it I think you need to back off on the heavy texting because it is creating false hope. ”

good advice there. i think i was vulnerable to that cuz we were texting a lot but not hanging out at all, and the TEXTING gave me false hope.

its amazing how people can do things like text you every day, have SECS with you, yet they feel nothing for you. basically doing very intimate THINGS but with no intimacy invested from them. well, not that texting is inherently intimate, but i think secs IS or SHOULD BE. and i think the fact that we were texting almost every day helped me build up false hope and feel closer than we were. i wish she had either stopped responding to me or she had just agreed to HANG OUT WITH ME tho. like the guy above says, texting can go both ways. best thing is if they actually want to hang out with you.

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3og7cj/i_26f_have_stupidly_strong_feelings_for_my_best/

search feelings for friend in the /rel subreddit

see, women get feelings for their MALE friends ALL THE TIME!!!!

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/421ju9/i_26f_confessed_i_had_feelings_for_my_close/

here a woman got feelings for a male friend and HE got MAD at HER hehehehe

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/s42vu/strong_feelings_for_my_best_friend_are_driving_me/

but yeah its kinda nice knowing that over 100 iq average normiefags can still fall in LUV and it drives them a little crazy. and they write loooooonnnnnnnggggggg posts on reddit. i thought i was the only one that wrote LONG shit. nope. if the person has feelings and is really invested, they will hae a LOT to say, not necessarily coherent, but just a LOT on their mind!!!!

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/25uwg9/i_21m_told_feelings_for_best_friend_20f_got/

” spicewoman 9 points 1 year ago
OP, I’ve had a similar situation with a long-time friend before. We had a platonic friendship for a long time (like you) before I developed feelings, and eventually reached the point where I felt I had to say something. It was the not-knowing that was driving me crazy, once we talked it out and I got him to be very clear that he did not return my feelings, it was actually surprisingly easy for me to get over it and move on.
My feelings have genuinely returned to platonic (I can’t even picture being more than friends with him nowadays, I have zero attraction and it would be weird as hell), and we’re still good friends to this day.
One of the important points to discuss with your best friend, if you didn’t already, is to be very clear that these feelings are recent. One of the issues that friendships have with this sort of thing, is that the target of your affection can feel like the friendship was a lie under false pretenses. It feels uncomfortable because it can make them question everything about your friendship up to that point. If you feel you need some time, absolutely communicate that, that you want to take some time to get over it so you can readjust to being platonic friends.
It’s up to her on her end how she reacts to all this, but if you’re really such good friends and she’s a mature and thoughtful person, she’ll be able to appreciate the honesty and the risk you took, and as long as you don’t try to pressure or guilt trip her over this, she should still be able to value you as a friend in the future once you’ve taken the time you need.   ”

well i tried to make it VERY VERY VERY clear that these feelings were recent and that the friendship was not under false pretenses, cuz i totally understood how that could be a concern. but i dont know if she read that or believed it when i sent her that message.

umm i never actually pressured her or guilt tripped her to have feelings for me, however i did pressure her to hang out with, communicate, and respond to me, because she was just avoiding me altogether and i wish she would just talk to me. but i was very clear in saying “i accept you dont have feelings for me, just please respond to me and lets try to End This Rel In A Better Way, i feel you are Throwing Me Away Like A Piece of Garbage and that hurts a lot, can you please respond to me and try to i dunno tell me you didnt mean to throw me away like a piece of garbage?”

thats all it boils down to. NOBODY likes getting thrown away like a piece of garbage. by a good friend they got feelings for. who is responding to them putting their heart out on the line and going All In, by Throwing Them Away like a piece of garbage.

the right thing to do is to say, AWWWWW IM SORRY. THIS MUST BE REALLY DIFFICULT FOR YOU. I APPRECIATE THE COURAGE IT TOOK FOR YOU TO TELL ME. BUT IM SORRY I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU.

not get mad at the person and throw them away like garbage.

comment from same thread as above, which i disagreed with:

”  defiantgrit -1 points 1 year ago
It’s because you put the cart so far before the horse the horse didn’t even know the cart existed.
This isn’t how relationships work and I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Life isn’t an episode of How I Met Your Mother or the Big Bang Theory. You don’t confess feelings for someone. You have to date them first. How do you know that you actually love them without being in a relationship with them first? You might be friends with someone for years. You might know them so well. You still don’t know who they are in the context of a relationship until you are in a relationship with them. Then and only then can you really decide that you love that person romantically.
Instead you decided to say you had feelings for her without ever taking her out on one date. That puts a lot of pressure on someone and tells them that your ideas about love and relationships are skewed. This is why when you do this a lot of the time you will end up rejected. You should have felt the waters out by asking her out on a date. A real date. And telling her it was a date. If she said no then you could have easily moved onto someone else.
I hope you learned your lesson here. Real romantic love is fostered on two people sharing feelings for one another. Not one person creating an over-idealized version of someone they know as a friend, pining after them, then confessing their feelings verbal diarrhea style. When you do this you’re skipping very important steps that the majority of people take when they get into healthy relationships. Most relationships start with a physical attraction and a few dates then move into a more serious relationship then move into having strong feelings for one another.
And before I have to hear from all the people who confessed feelings for a friend and are successfully married to this day however many years later, please realize your situation is the exception in this sort of situation.  ”

this redditor mixes lies with the truth hahahaha. I argue that a friendship IS a kind of relationship. you really get to KNOW somebody. and then from this you can get feelings for them and decide you want a different kind of rel with them.  in fact i think its awful that you have to get physical early. and why cant you, in the course of hanging out with your friend, tell them: hey we need to talk. I can feel my feelings changing for you. I think I am starting to get feelings for you. i dunno why its happening now. maybe its the timing. maybe i wasnt fully over bla bla when we first met. just not sure. but what is sure is that i am starting to feel something for you. would you be willing to cuddle or make out or hold hands or have drunken unprotected secs right now hahahaha lemme get some snapchats of that pulverized pvssy hahahaha

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2binyf/i_23_m_have_feelings_for_my_best_friend_25_f_who/

when you tell them your feelings, they reject you, but reject you nicely, BUT still want to be Just Friends, and Dont Understand why you need Space from them….. hehehehe i dd not have that problem. just COMMUNICATE with them and tell them would YOU want to see someone regularly who you liked and who rejected you? have YOU ever gotten feelings for a friend before? dont you realize, i still want you right now, i want to go out with you, and you want to be just friends. dont you see how we both want different things from each other? dont you see how this is UNBALANCED?????

COMMUNICATION. DO YOU SPEAK IT MOTHERFOOKER.

99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of all relship problems could be fixed with COMMUNICATION. but these bitches just dont want to or dont know how to communicate!!!!!!!!!!

TELL THEM THAT! TELL THEM the same thing youre telling REDDIT!!!!!!!!!!

there are some redditors who actual type in phrases for the OP to say. “I am feeling betrayed right now when you do this. We need to communicate about this and make sure we understand each other. I would prefer that you not fook other guys. But you have to decide if you care enough about me to honor that wish.”

yeah i admit it i didnt come clean RIGHT AWAY, but i kinda DID start sending signals right away, and gradually turning up the heat because the fire was rising within me. also she could have hung out with me ONCE in 10 months. THEN i probably would have told her a LOT earlier.

its not like “confessing secret feelings” because after a while they already have a good idea something is happening because youre acting weird. like you have feelings for them. and she certainly noticed i was acting weird. and PROBABLY knew what the weirdness meant. though i cant be sure she did.

also. when i first became friends with her i knew she was in a rel with another guy and when she was being all friendly to me i was REAL CAREFUL to watch out for things she might do that might even be close to cheating. i didnt want her to cheat on him in other words. if she threw herself at me, id be like baby, i cant enable you in cheating on anyone! you just showed me youre willing to cheat! thats fookin horrible!

so yeah, her rel with him was primary for me, and my mind couldnt even ENTERTAIN the idea of feelings for her until she was DONE with him. i dont think thats so weird. i was respected their damn rel. i really was!!!!!! goddamn it!!!! im not lying!!!!! thats the truth!!!!! and to her credit she never did anything like cheating. but i know if I had been her BF i would have been suspicious about my GF making a fun new male friend. and in fact i think she might have been TRYING to make him jealous, because he wasnt showing her that he luved her at all.

i dunno.  i just know that in 30+ years ive never been a cheater, i dont want to become a cheater. if i havent become one yet, i hopefully never will, and that gives me some hope. but it also means i dont want to be the one a cheater cheats with. cuz do you really want to be with a CHEATER?

and i really think you can separate cheaters from noncheaters, and i want to be with MY KIND. noncheaters. she was a noncheater so that was great.

have i ever been with a cheater? maybe. probably. like this crazy slut i pseudodated. she was very promiscuous and bisexual and bipolar and probably pro polyamory. and so she very probably cheated on SOMEBODY at some point cuz she fooks anything that moves, shes a slut, who doesnt view secs as some sacred bond between two and only two people. she never cheated on me….well she hung out with me, then would leave me and go fook another guy  who lived in the same house hahahahaha. but that was only a handful of times ahhaahha. and we werent exlcusively dating so it didnt count as cheating. hahahaha. well it was SHADY AS FOOK. she was willing to fook me too. any gurl thats willing to fook 2 guys in ONE DAY….very bad sign. adding that to my wife questionnaire nanahahahaha.

was it possible she was having an “emotional affair” with me? i dunno!!!! maybe!!! i never really thought of it that way but yeah its a definite maybe hahahaha. i dont think either one of us was mature or smart enough to see it that way though. and also i was very clear in supporting her rel with her bf at that time. that was my goal. i didnt even CONSIDER any feelings with her until she was DONE with him.

i tried to explain all this to her but it was a complicated situation and maybe she felt i was trying to split her and the bf up so i could get with her. although i explained it very clearly that was not the case. and we had several in depth discussions of how she could fix the rel with him. but it sounded like he didnt want to fix it, he just wanted to be done with it hahahaha. i know the feel of being on the receiving end of THAT hahaha.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/nttv2/i_have_feelings_for_a_friend_but_have_a_boyfriend/

but yeah i hate being essentially accused of being a liar and deceiver and betrayer, but im really NOT, and also not getting the chance to EXPLAIN myself.

i dunno. when she was with the BF, i encouraged her in that rel; and pretty soon after i got feelings for her, i tried to hang otu with her, and began turning up the signals. so i was a little cowardly, but i still think i made a GOOD FAITH EFFORT to not lie or not deceive or not hide. and then i explained all that shit in the emails that were never read.

so yeah i hate being thought of as a LIAR or a BETRAYER or a DECEIVER.

i gave a good faith effort sure……BUT IT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH.

well i mean its ON HER if i tell her something but she DOESNT WANT TO LISTEN.  she didnt HAVE To delete the long emails where i tried to explain all this. she could have read them. she could have listened. she could have RESPONDED!!!!!

i didnt LIE to you! i didnt BETRAY you! i was just scared to say the thing i was heavily hinting at the whole time and i was increasing frusting she was avoiding and avoiding and avoiding and avoiding hanging out with me!!!!!!!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

wow what a clusterfook. young man and woman at different colleges, he luvs her, she wants out, dumps him, breaks his heart.

”  Be happy she had enough respect for you to not cheat on you. ” says a redditor. REALLY!!!!!! i think he is trying to be a wiseass and not be taken seriously, but this kid really is not gonna take that the right way.

NO. RESPECT IS MORE THAN SIMPLY NOT CHEATING ON YOU. RESPECT IS DUMPING YOU WITH KINDNESS hahahahahaha. RESPECT is understanding that you are causing that person pain, and it causes YOU some pain to cause them pain.

WHEN SOMEONE BEGS YOU FOR BETTER CLOSURE, TRY TO GIVE THEM BETTER CLOSURE / EMOTIONALLY ILLITERATE / JELQ MUH DIQ

0128

emotional porn, inspiration porn, prolefeed. real feelgood stuff in MSM to hit proles right in the feels and adult women can gush about about post on FB feeds. overcoming the odds, OR just giving a trophy to everyone, AND becoming more degenerate by the day, ie “feelgood” stories about 10 year old transgendered kids and their mom gives them sex change hormones.

anyway i had a medium epiphany:

if the criteria of whether i betrayed her or not is only if SHE FEELS betrayed, her feelings are valid, they might be wrong or confused or misunderstood, but they are still valid.

well then MY feelings are JUST AS valid, and i am MORE THAN ENTITLED to say I FEEL SUPER HURT by being thrown away like a piece of meat! inhuman and inhumane! nobody likes to be dehumanized, depoersonalized like this.

but as a believer in objective truth and morality, i also want a less subjective standard for measuring/ identifying betrayal than just her confused illogical mind saying i feeeeeeeeeeeel betrayed therefore its betrayal.

i want an INDEPENDENT TRIBUNAL to investigage impartially and provide a verdict and say she was more wrong than i was!!!!! that it wasnt really betrayal!!!!

basically, if shes ENTITLED to think i betrayed her, i’m ENTITLED to think she hurt me! cuz what she did hurt the fook out of me!

you dont get to decide youre DONE with someone, and then avoid the responsibilities of Getting Rid of them. Dump a person, break their heart, AND just essential DELETE them without ACKNOWLEDGING that you are causing a human being huge pain, a person who cares about you greatly, and whom you once cared about.  its just fooked up.

this ammon bundy is handsome as fook! hope that goy has a good looking faithful wife and 8 children.

i mean shit. yeah i can see how a woman would feel betrayed. it taps into bullshit about the friendzone and niceguys….but it also DOESNT. niceguys pretend like they have no interest. they dont say what theyre thinking. BUT a problem i long had with the media narrative about niceguys is……in the micro situation of these women HANGING OUT with these Niceguys Secretly in Luv with them, arent the niceguys GIVING OFF HINTS??? doesnt the woman have ANY CLUE that these Just Friend Guys LIKE them? something never rang true to me about the way “niceguys” were portrayed.

and this applied to me as well: i was feeling great tension and expressing that tension through increasingly heavy handed hints. i wasnt pretending i had no feelings.

AND SHE NOTICED! however i dont know if she interpreted them correctly, ie, maybe she thought “whys he being so weird,” rather than “o noes, he has FEELINGS for me, thats why hes acting so weird.”

so i was communicating something, and she was noticing it. therefore, i was not HIDING it. therefore, it was not betrayal hahaha.

but i dont even KNOW that she CONSIDERS it a betrayal, or shes JUST UGH. ENOUGH ALREADY. UGH. dont feel betrayed, i just idk. ugh idk. just want him gone.

ITS ALL ABOUT YOU. YOURE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS REL. ITS NOT LIKE THERES TWO PEOPLE HERE.

ONLY YOUR FEELINGS MATTER. THE OTHER PERSON AND THEIR FEELINGS DONT MATTER AT ALL. thats why their heart can be broken and they can be thrown away like garbage. they dont exist, they dont matter hehehehe.

you almost NEED to ignore it and shut it out because you can ruminate and overanalyze this forever but you will never get anywhere. there are too many unknown unknowns hahahahaha. or they might be known unknowns. because we know that we dont know them. namely what did she actually think about all this. i shared my feelings with her, but she did not share her feelings with me. other than blocking me and thrown me away. this gives a pretty good indication of the feelings, but theres still unknowns: did she do this because she felt betrayed, or just because she was angry or annoyed? does it even MATTER? NO! I just HATE the idea that I BETRAYED somebody.

I DONT BETRAY PEOPLE. I AM TRUSTWORTHY ALWAYS. This is very important to me.

you can hate me and be angry at me, just dont call me a traitor or betrayer or liar or someone you cannot trust.  that is very triggering and rustling to me.

i mean ive done some shitty things im not proud of……but i do those things much much more to MYSELF than i do to OTHER PEOPLE. whereas it seems that normies are more likely to do shitty things to other people, and not to themselves.

0129

had dream where i was going back to muh job after months. i was in a bus with several of my favorite people from the job, and they were very nice and supportive, and we were all heading out there fr another horrible shift hahaha. there was complaining and grumbling about how horrible things were. how some people just “couldnt take it anymore” and just walked out, disappeared, stopped coming to WORK. there was a person on the bus talking about how she tried to speak with the main manager about something important, and was bitched out about interrupting the manager who had very important valuable work and couldnt waste time. you wanted to talk the manager, you set up an APPOINTMENT!!!!!! and then after being shooed away, they eavesdropped on the manager who was having a very lively and spirited and happy and hilarious conversation with somebody in a “gypsy language”, presumably romani/roma. but obviously not SRS BUSINESS.

and then i thought, oh shit, THAT WOMAN is gonna be there too. and i dont want to see her AT ALL. I am just gonna have to quit again! why did i agree to come back! and felt very nervous and dreadful. how was i gonna survive this life? this horrible job! AND ON TOP OF IT, having to see that woman every day, hating me and ignoring me, and i would probably confront her and she would be a huge bitch and portray me as the bad guy! why was i coming back here? oh god i hope this is just a horrible DREAM!

and IT WAS! so that dream kinda made me feel better about my controversial decision hahahaha.

how can she shit on ME and then still be mad at ME and make other people think IM the bad guy! she should be ASHAMED of what she did, yet she’s DOUBLING DOWN on her bitchiness and anger and hate towards me, when she’s ALREADY broken my heart, then she rationalizes it to herself that i DESERVED it!

what a MINDFOOK!!!!

and the job is already stoopid as fook, AND i have to deal with this woman on top of it? no thank you!

and i wish i could switch to pure hate so easily like she has. but ultimately i will always be in luv with her and always want her, so its like breaking my heart every day.

so the dream was actually good in that it reminded me that i made the right choice in doing what i did haha.

i betrayed her??!?!?!!?! SHE BETRAYED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! well i know it might not be a technical betrayal, but it was MUCH CLOSER to the realm of betrayal than what i did to her!!!!!

women wait until you get very close to them, fall in luv with them, then they totally CRUSH you. tear your heart out, stab it 900000000000000000000 times, after you have invested in them, gone all in with them…..and then you lose EVERYTHING and emerge as a totally broken ruined soul. they couldnt just dump you when you had invested just a LITTLE in them. they wait until you are madly in true lifelong luv with them, before they pull the rug out from underneath you. do they like ruining mens lives for NO REASON?????

hahahahaha.

no, if anything, no i have more respect for the other women who dumped me in a more appropriate kind manner. even if it wasnt perfect, they MADE AN EFFORT and recognized that i would be hurt, and they cared enough about that to TRY to do the right thing.

and less respect for HER, because she did NONE of this. made no effort.

make an effort. write 1 damn email.

thats what mindfooks me so much, is ultimately, how could she do this to ME? i knew she didnt LUV me, but i thought she CARED ABOUT ME AS A PERSON more than to do this to me. you just dont treat a person this way ever. unless they did something really really bad to you, and even THEN, its STILL better for you to take the high road than to descend into the muck with the person who did you wrong. DONT STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL. BE THE BETTER PERSON.

i thought there was more GOODWILL built up. even if i was on the OUTS with somebody, i wouldnt throw them away. i would appreciate them as a mostly decent person that i had good times with. i NEVER had big falling outs with people. usually we just Fade Away or Drift Away and are both on somewhat good terms at the end. but never huge falling outs, unless a woman is dumping me. and most times, heck ALL times till NOW, the woman made SOME kind of EFFORT to dump in a good way, to indicate that it wasnt my FAULT, that i did not do something horribly WRONG. basically its not you its me (meaning them, and dont blame yourself.)

SHE did the exact opposite, essentially saying YOU SHOULD BLAME YOURSELF. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. and i could not handle that. especially when im honestly not sure that it IS my fault. but on a bad day i can sure beleive that it was! and need to convince myself that it wasnt!

http://www.prevention.com/fitness/fitness-tips/how-increase-your-calories-burned-walking

i always see people doing a damn incline on the treadmill and it looks ridiculous, but the calories they burn are also enviable. the best is a weird 35 year old virgin looking man who does a full hour at like 5.5 mph and at least 10% incline (article recommends no more than 7.) this results in him burning at least 1000 calories in an hour, when i have to work hard to just do 500 an hour!!!!

well hes a weird virgin but hes not fat i tell ya!

so i wanted to look up some info about inclines. does it REALLY burn that MUCH MORE calories? initial evidence suggests yes, it actually works. maybe. hahahahhaa.

anyway. i just couldnt imagine how a person could do that to another. i cant wrap my mind around it.

even if a bitch cheated on me i would forgive her immediately, just please dont leave me. oh you can still see him, just tell me if you fook any other guys too, just dont dump me. i will let you do whatever you want as long as you please dont dump me.

this has always been my MO, because i HATE being dumped!!!! and that was when i was getting dumped NICELY! now i will hate getting dumped even MORE!

and yeah i would not be as surprised if this were someone i didnt know. some random bitch. but i actually KNEW her. i was once her friend. just because my feelings change for you doesnt mean you get to treat me like garbage. if i had a friend whose feelings changed for me, i wouldnt hate them, id still care for them, and id feel bad abotu not being able to reciprocate, and i would make a BIG effort to let them down as GENTLY as possible….not make NO effort and let them down as HARSHLY as possible! see how its such a big shocking mindfook!!!!!

and part of me wants to TELL her this, just for satisfaction, just for standing up for myself. when somebody shits on you hardcore, you stand up for yourself and say NO! NOT OK!!! and make sure they KNOW that what theyre doing is HORRIBLE! righteous indignation!!!!!

and i kinda did this in extremely nice, not angry, not blaming language, like yeah i see where youre coming from but i also think i did not deserve to be treated this way, i really dont think i betrayed you, lets just talk about this please.

rather than: you CANNOT do this, this is HORRIBLE, you SHOULD feel ashamed, you did a HORRIBLE thing and i want you to fully know it! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

i never wanted to end a rel with such prejudice before. like i say, 99% of my rels that end, do so on a mutual drifting away with no real hard feelings. ive never just wanted to just GET RID of somebody. the women who dumped me, i always wanted to reconcile. my college roomate i had a big feud with, well i wanted to get rid of him. but even there the feeling was MUTUAL!  he wasnt BEGGING ME TO RECONCILE!!!! he hated me, i hated him!

when someone begs you for better closure, try to give them better closure.

KNOWING of course that all closure ultimately comes from within…….but the other person can CERTAINLY ease that along. being that they are in the rel with you, and they are dumping you. they can start you off with some good closure if they are willing. and why wouldnt they be willing?

i assumed from the years of goodwill, that she would be willing to lift a finger to give me at least a LITTLE good closure.

maybe in the future i will end up feeling hate and contempt for her, recognizing what a cowardly shitty thing she did to me. but to get to that point i have to stop wanting to reconcile with her!!!!!!

so THIS is the person i wanted to have a long term rel with? what if i was? what i married her and had chirren with her? how would that turn out! HARRIBLE!!!!

whats better, a woman who has been with 15+ guys, or a woman who has been with 2 guys but had 1 abortion?

whats better, a woman who has been with 10+ white guys, or a woman who has been with 2 guys, but one of them was nonwhite?

these sound like retarded philosophy thought experiments, but these are real world questions you have to ask when evaluating the long term wife potential of women!!!!!! its INSANE!!!!!

well, you figure activities like abortions and mudsharking are CORRELATED with being a slut. in other words, if a woman has been with a LOT of guys, chances are, she’s had SEVERAL abortions, and been with SEVERAL nonwhites.

you dont expect abortions and mudsharking out of a woman with a LOW number, in other words. but sometimes it happens!!!!

i dont like abortions, i dont like mudsharking, and i dont like SLUTS. but you cant have all three.

I’m not even sure if you can have TWO.

so, if you are dead set against a mudshark, then you have to accept that she’s been with a LOT of white guys and has had several abortions.

if you’re dead set against abortions, thats your dealbreaker, then she’s probably a slut, probably been with several black guys, and if she doesnt do abortions, then she probably has some bastard kids! and prob not white ones!

hehehe this is why men give up on women and go mgtow.

oh yeah i dont like when they have kids.

but you figure if they are enough pro abortion, they will just abort those kids.

so whats better, a woman who aborts their kids and thus has no kids, or a woman with bastard kids.

THESE are the questions you must deal with regarding the REAL PEOPLE who you are really interviewing for the role of your actual WIFE!!!!!

you get put in between such a rock and a hard place, and you say, well this is a total shit sandwich, cant i find a woman who fits BOTH criteria? has no abortions and ALSO has no kids? why is that TOO MUCH TO ASK in the current year? have the merchants destroyed ALL our women?

despair. making concessions. settling for less hahahaha. coming to believe your requirements are too much, your standards are too high. LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS for your lifelong wife and the mother of your children.

see how shitty that is?

spend the rest of your life with and have kids with a piece of shit. mix your dna with them, and your kids will be half a piece of shit.

i wanted to communicate with her so i was pushing her to hang out.

if she wanted to commnicate with me, she would have been pushing me to hang out. 

and being that i also wanted to communicate, there would have been no pushing! we would have just communicated in a timely manner.

rather than me pushing to communicate, and her AVOIDING communicating. if she wanted to communicate, i wouldnt have NEEDED TO PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new browser brave from shamed mozilla founder brendan eich, who was forced out of firefox because he was against gay marriage. now he has founded brave.com with a bunch of j00s and SJW feminist techies hahahaha. but maybe they actually know their stuff. god knows i dont have the expertise to say if they do or not!!! i hate tech because its too confusing and there seems no pathway to figure it all out!! so when “cute” little 24 azn girls

https://archive.is/crRqx

https://brave.com/#team

start talking about code, im like, ya lost me at jquery. i dont even know how to javascript. yet a 24 year old azn girl who dropped out of high school, got a physics degree from MIT, then started a phd in CS at stanford, then dropped out, is now 24 or 25 years old, and gives talks at tech conferences all the time, and has Thirsty Leftist Tech Guys who make 100k+ a year lusting after her, is a senior developer on this browser hahahaha i do get frustrated. i took a bunch of tech classes to try to learn this stuff but it still doesnt make sense. its not that im an idiot, its more like i wasnt OBSESSED and Passionate the way these people are, coding 24 hours a day. after a while i had to say fook this shit i hate it, get it away from me.

so you gotta LUV it to be a damn programmer?

i was ultimately convinced i didnt have “what it takes” to be a CS major and get a CS/programming job. that you have to Love Programming and Tech in every fiber of your being; eat sleep and breathe this shit, and i certainly didnt. i just saw it as a means to an end, just wanted to be qualified for the lowest possible entry level tech job.

which as it turns out, is Tech Support, and you dont need ANY CS experience for that, and you just answer phones all day, and are confused and frustrated and nervous all day because you have no confidence that you know what youre doing, and are trying to bullshit to people all day. and then you quit because you just cant handle it any more and you fell in luv with your female friend at the job who just totally threw you under the bus!!!!!!

anyway, brave focuses on eliminating the Ad Bullshit and on being FAST. and also is concerned with privacy and not harvesting your information like j00gle chrome. seems promising so i downloaded the “developers build” and was able to open it and yes it does go pretty fast. it really does seem to go faster than chrome.

thats really what i care about. is it bloated? is it fast? does it have weird backdoors and shit and spy on me? are my main concerns.

and i jealous of young people that get to turn their AUTISM into a SUCCESSFUL CAREER cuz they can get THAT GOOD at understanding code because theyre damn AUTISTICALLY OBSESSED about coding.

this is why you should introduce kids to coding in FIRST GRADE and HOPE it sticks. then they get obsessed with it and teach themselves to code.

so yeah coding is a valuable skill for people to have, BUT…….not if you can just do stupid hello world shit like me. coding is only valuable if you can code at the level of a good CS graduate. now you dont actually have to have the degree, but you DO need to outperform good CS graduates.  can you do that? it takes a LOT of TISM to be able to do that.

i have some tism but not for that. my tism is basically for talking about Feelings and Women hahahaha.

these arent even philosophical, intellectual, masculine discussions. its totally feminine.  but i still cant talk TO WOMEN about it.

because not only are women Emotionally ILLITERATE, they speak an entirely different emotional LANGUAGE than men. i was very literate and articulate in my emotional language, but i couldnt communicate SHIT to her or actually her to me.

i talk about feelings all the time, too much, WAY too much, yet i couldnt communicate with her. i could just use stupid SIGNALS. and she could just use stupid SIGNALS. her signals were worse than mine! she didnt signal she was just gonna up and walk out and throw me away! i didnt see THAT coming!!!!!!

how do you drop out of high school and get into MIT?

how do you get a degree in PHYSICS but then go for a phd in CS?

i mean physics IS super respectable, its just super different than CS! why not get a BS in CS?

how do you get into a CS Phd at STANFORD, a decent skool? i mean its prob not as good as caltech or mit for CS, but its still good enough to get you a good 200k+ job.

you gotta work hard, make sacrifices, and be a little bit crazy / autistic / obsessed. and never get sidetracked from that goal by emotions or despair or life or setbacks or failures or rejections.

yet so many phd’s are batshit crazy, taking boatloads of psych meds. all of them are on ssri’s, and half of em are bipolar.

yet they still produce good work? well im talking about the tech ones. i mean CODE itself cant be fooking marxist to its core, thats one thing i like about code, compared to writing books and papers and articles that are marxist and antiwhite in their very fiber of being. code is not like that.

but that doesnt stop good coders from being sick marxist antiwhite SJW’s wanting ladybosses and more women in tech and teach girls to code etc.

what does it matter if you teach girls to write hello world code, if you have to be a DAMN GOOD CODER to get a damn tech job??????? it doesnt add up to me. you have to make the children AUTISTIC about coding so they build good coding skills and dont give it up.

i started, but i gave up, because it was super frustrating and i couldnt see it going anywhere!!!!!

i was kinda proud of the super complicated shit i did in C++, but i didnt feel ANY closer to what Real Coders did for Work!!!!! i still didnt understand the shit that 25 year old asian gurl MIT grads wrote about on their hacking/security blogs.

now im sure that gurl does do decent work. good for her. but i wonder if she would have gotten so far at such a young age, if she wasnt a hip qt little asian gurl who dresses like a cyberpunk slut when she gives tech talks, and Thirst Betas drooling over her asian ass hahahahaha. and i am SURE she has been with a LOT of guys, and i am SURE she is HORRIBLE to be in a rel with. because shes an autistic, successful, independent, stronk woman who has lots of wealthy guys showering her with attention all over the world.

just to clarify, yes im sure she does good work and probably deserves a good job in tech. i could never code that well because i dont have the code thirst hahahaha. i only took like 7 tech classes in college hahaha.  i dont know what node.js is. i dont know how to use a sniffer or why you would even use a sniffer or scraper. i know how to type tracert into a command prompt but i dont know what its telling me.

there were at least 3 young men at my shitty confusing tech support job who had full blown BS in CS degrees. not from MIT of courshe!!!!!!!!!!! and probably they were a lot like me: they saw this as a good meal ticket, a useful skill you could get a good job with…..but they were NOT AUTISTIC about it, they were just average coders, followers not leaders, they probably didnt understand node.js either, they just did the work and got their degree but did not have a github page filled with impressive personal projects. therefore they could not outcompete top american coders, and not get an entry level coding job, and therefore had to settle for a damn tech support job, with people without degrees, people with humanities degrees, people without A+ certification, etc. in other words if i got a CS degree i wouldnt get any further ahead than where i was. and getting a CS degree is hard as hell. “even” for these guys. it takes 4 hard years of full time hard CS courses! even being an average or below average CS grad is not a small achievement in my book!

its good to want to be the best……but you also have to make that want a reality, by ACTUALLY OUTPERFORMING everybody else and BEING the best. otherwise you just get stuck in a shitty job that literally drives you crazy and gives you a nervous breakdown and makes you Mentally Disabled 4 Lyfe! and now youre a damn HANDICAPPED person who needs DISABILITY payments because you CANT WORK, and you CANT LYFE. fook that shit.

while some gurl who is nowhere near as smart as you, and doesnt even know how to hello world, just goes with the flow and keeps makin the monay. im kinda jealous of HER!!!!!!

how could she NOT know i was hurting? in my email she never read and maybe doesnt even know i sent, i told her i was hurting. but the biggest signal was that i quit muh job because of her.

i never had someone quit their job because of me!!!!!

i like to think i would reach out to them and say WHOA HEY COME ON, you dont have to go THAT far, come on, DONT DO THAT, lets smooth things over and come up with an arrangment where you dont have to do that, we can still work together!

nope, no effort at that from her. and yes i DID want something like that from her! i wanted some sort of communication! and some sort of KINDNESS. why couldnt she show me even a SHRED of sympathy or kindness???!?!?!?! i didnt stab her in the back or the heart! we were friends for almost 3 years!

if you use a cigaret making machine, try to buy the same brand filter tubes as the brand of your machine. like premier or top. actually the gambler tubes worked allright for me even though i have a premier machine.

I ACTED IN GOOD FAITH with her at all times. even if i was scared to tell her an important thing. i always acted in good faith. i dont see how she could POSSIBLY act in good faith when she……….throws me away like a piece of garbage. there is no way you can do that in good faith.

GOOGLE thrown away like a piece of garbage

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=thrown%20away%20like%20a%20piece%20of%20garbage

hahahahaha

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/discarded-like-trash-7522931.html

https://archive.is/trylw    archive of ^^^^ this one

http://www.examiner.com/article/have-you-ever-been-thrown-away-like-garbage

uhhh she did not present those warning signs, did not seem overly selfish or narciss. but heres a good point:

QUOTE

Another generality is deep-seeded selfishness. Now before you rebel at this, let’s look at some of the ways that selfishness gets disguised. People who throw others away will use such justifications as…I didn’t love him/her anymore. or There were just too many problems. It was overwhelming. or The relationship got stale. We just weren’t growing. Underneath all of these justifications is a theme of Me Me Me. I don’t want to be with someone I no longer love. I don’t want to do the hard work that could repair this relationship. I don’t want to be bored. The basic underlying characteristic of a relationship is that it consists of two people…not one. People who are that deeply selfish, need to stay out of relationships. But we know this isn’t going to happen, because they won’t be honest with themselves and attempt to change. They will continue to leave destruction and pain in their paths.

END

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-spouses-discussions/general-support/2426364-thrown-away-like-trash

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1lhmin/me25m_with_my_gf_25f_of_8yrs_been_7_months_but/

broke up with him for no reason, he feels thrown away like a you know what, searched term on r/relships hahahaha

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1lgtb1/24m_my_experience_with_letting_go_in_the_hope_of/

this ones pretty good too. he had her FB password and would log in and spy on her after the breakup to see that she fooked a new guy within 2 weeks and loved him, and said he was so much better than her xbf (the OP!) who was sitting there secretly reading these chats. thank god i never did that!!!!!!

he went through a horrible breakup, found a better woman, but they had to break up due to “circumstance”, probably somebody moving for a Career hahahaha. he is 24 and some kind of grad with a Career and even though he had 2 breakups that were worse than mine, and was devastated, he managed to start his career at a young age. maybe this was because he was not a drinker hahahahah or maybe he was an autisticcally talented coder from a good skool hahahaha and companies where competing to give him jobs hahaha.

basically the point is the man is always wrong, the woman is always right. if the man asks for advice, women tell him, oh heres all the things you did wrong that you didnt realize, now go beg for forgiveness. actually begging is bad, just g and be more perfect and hope she doesnt dump you, you dont deserve her hahahaha. she can do whatever she wants to you and you have to TAKE IT cuz its ALL ABOUT HER, ME ME ME ME ME, and if you dont like it, you can get out, you cant HANDLE such an AWESOME woman, youre no MAN enough to DESERVE her, if you cant HANDLE her at her worst, you dont DESERVE her at her best, or even when she’s being merely not shitty,

you woman hating needle dicked f4ggot rapey entitled niceguy creeper weirdo weak cowardly bitter hateful immature insecure clingy needy thirsty mamas boy!

like if you tell the gf she is acting like a child because she is throwing a stupid tantrum….YOURE the bad guy for talking to her like shes a CHILD. even though she is totally acting like a retarded bratty CHILD.

see

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1cg3nc/my_22m_gf_20f_is_throwing_a_tantrum_that_includes/

anyway. if i ever wanted to GET RID of somebody, i MIGHT avoid them, but if they came at me begging for closure, begging for me to talk to them, and be nicer, i like to think i would be mature enough to say, wow, they are really hurting, i dont want to be responsible for that, im gonna at least try to SHOW THEM that im trying to let them down gently. that im making an effort, that i DONT want to HURT them.

hehhehehe and i am wasting SO MUCH precious time and money mourning over some woman who doesnt deserve it! shes making 15 DAH while i am making 0 DAH! more than 15 times what im making!!!!!!!  when i should not even be thinking about her ever, and making 16DAH while im doing it!!!!!!!!!!

so basically if someone does something, and you think, wow, i NEVER thought they could do something liek THAT to ME!!!!! then whats to say other people also wont hurt you in shocking, surprising, unknown unknown ways??? ways that you can never fathom or predict or understand or even prepare for or defend against?

they will find chinks in your armor you didnt even know were there, and slip the fookin sword in!!!!

bitches can

JELQ MUH DIQ

hahahahaha.

i couldnt remember what that word meant. i should not have looked it up hahahaha.

it just boggles my mind how much some stupid woman can hurt you, namely because you luv them TOO MUCH; and its mind boggling how DEGENERATE people can be. like her going off and jelqing dix of guys she just met. its just SO degen to be a slut doing promiscuous casual sex, it disgusts me SO much and makes me SO angry that women ruin themselves in such a disgraceful way. how can you make wives and mothers out of these pigs? i mean they would have to go through an INTENSIVE repentance and rehabilitation project.

so shes fooking guys, making videos, they are seeing and doing things i could only DREAM of, i never got to make out with her or cuddling with her, yet here they are fooking her up the ass and they dont even know each other or trust each other. something just seems so wrong about that. to indulge every sexual desire as quickly as possible. before getting to know each other.

how long does it take to really get to KNOW somebody?

at least a YEAR.

so wait at least a YEAR before having secs with a guy. bitches.

oh but he was so charming and secsy. i had no responsibility in the matter.

so youre saying you didnt consent? fook that shit. just make the CHOICE to CLOSE YOUR LEGS, WHORE.

say it with me: CLOSE YOUR LEGS, WHORE.

hahahahaha.

how HARD is it to KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED, WHORE.

very very very very very very hard, apparently.

HARDER THAN A GAMMA MALE TO GET SECS FROM A WOMAN.

yes. the woman you wanted to commit to and spend your life with and have children with, dumps you without a word, and goes and does PORNO DEGEN shit with random sleazy strangers, shit that makes schlomo rub his hands and say GOOD GOY, yes, discover yourself secsually, its so liberating, and theres nothing wrong with it!

so then women tell you, well you dont own her, she can make her own decisions, and if shes consenting to the promiscuous, pornographic secs, its all good.

well its true its her body and she can do whatever she wants. that doesnt make pornographic secs good or right or moral.

and all the worse when you were prepared to make real sacrifices for this woman, build a future with her. then she throws you away without a word.  now i have no PROOF she is out doing degenerate porno secs, but it wouldnt really surprise me. NOTHING would surprise me after the big surprise she gave me. if shes capable of THAT, shes capable of ANYTHING. abuse. abortion. torture. cheating. mvrder. degeneracy. promiscuous. porno. open rels. slippery slope. where does the degeneracy end??/?????!?!?!?! who knows??!?!?!?!

but i KNOW she USED to be a decent person. she wasnt hiding this secret alter ego from me all along. theres not even a secret alter ego i can blame it on. its just one big bad decision. in fact shes probably NOT having degen secs with randos, rather shes continuing being a Nice Gurl with her family, like she always was.

i just wish she had some REMORSE for this. and hadnt made such a BIG mistake. or at least showed REMORSE for it.

http://iqtest.dk/

i did this in like 20 out of 40 minutes and got a damn 115 IQ. that does not make me feel good about myself. i always thought i was more like 125 at least hahahahahaha. 115. i am a fooking idiot. i r not smart enough to become a stem master hahahaha.

i am the dumbest person on the trs forums hahaha

i could probably get a little higher if i got a few more questions right. its all pattern recognition but some of those patterns are RIDICULOUS mufooka. i guessed outright at at least 3 out of 40.