commander rockwell at brown u in spring 1966, good sound quality
ok i was looking for a formal DEBATE, here is a long one with rockwell vs stokely carmichael, the famous black panther. NICE! i would guess that both groups would more or less agree on the need for Ethnonationalism. In other words, huhwhyte nationalists arent trying to stop black nationalists and support all peoples right to be nationalists
moderator is interrupting way too much, annoying, like tv news hahaha.
but yeah i need ot listen to more DEBATES. so i can get into more debates myself and WIN them. or at least feel good about how i performed hahaha. not at all close to being there. nothing but room for improvement.
valium party tonight, plan on taking 3. took 1 at around 420 hahaha. about to take another one in 15 minutes at 7 pm. then take another around 930. then take a benedryl and go to bed.
so, was malcolm x joo wise? carmichael? thats a necessary step for nationalists of ANY race.
another thing i dont understand is how any woman who has had a baby can still be pro abortion and not vehemently against abortion.
heh. i was considering renting a car and driving 300 miles to see iron maiden in the summer. probably wont. but i def thought about it for a while. ideally they would play closer than 300 miles away. DAMN. in 2015 or early 2016 they did, but i was only as 1% as hot on maiden as i am now, and i am really kicking myself for missing that bucket list show.
i suppose drinking coffee along with muh 3 valiums defeats the purpose. i luv coffee though hahahaha. i would luv to drink coffee with a heap of strong MJ butter in it hahahaha. another bucket list thing.
poker tables dying down. played for quite a while, mainly lost. not a lot but no good big pots. what am i doing wrong? not betting aggressively enough?
take another valium in 15 mins. switched from iron maiden live to saor live:
not as good sound of course, would love to hear more professional audio on a saor live show. it cant be that hard.
similar to maiden, this is pretty feelgood, confidence-inspiring, alpha-male music.
valium is actually really cheap at the pharmacy. under 10 dollars for 60 tablets. i am more than ok with that. i could probably get an rx next time i go to the doc in aug. feel much more comfortable with that than trying to lie and get pain pills hahaha or asking the doc if they do MMJ recs, which they prob dont. besides i have a long history of anxiety and have gotten valium rx before, so i have more legit reasons hehehe. would just be concerned they would give me a super low rx, like 10 tablets a month or something.
ok had the 3rd valium taking me up to 15 mg for the day. i have read some internet forum saying you should ideally take 20 mg all at once (4 tabs) to really feel anything. right now i feel okay. pretty relaxed, mind is not really with thoughts and that always good. just enjoying saor in addition to maiden hehehe.
PLENTY of people have NO desire to do MJ. they just like drinking in moderation here and there, or not even that, they have no desire for MJ, drugs, alcohol, valium, nyquil, benedryl, ANYTHING. kinda jelly of them. all the time i am thinking about MJ. i guess its better than thinking about That Woman! interesting epiphany: at this time, i very probably think about MJ more than i think about her. i don’t think about her that much anymore thank GOD. but i think about MJ a LOT. every day.
what if some creep on the internet ordered a ton of drugs on the darknet and sent it to my home hehehehe in an attempt to get me busted. has that ever happened to ANYONE? some of the bigger dnm guys are sending out like 20 packages of stinky MJ EVERY DAY. how do they not get caught? and they probably have a LOT more risk than the people receiving the packages. cuz you cant really prove that you ordered the stuff. maybe you have an enemy out there who is trying to frame you.
heh. valium might actually be cheaper than benedryl. i think i might take a 4th valium right now. i mean this is kinda my last hurrah. i plan on cutting back in the very near future. fook yeah. lets do it.
ok so i did it, took an unprecedented 4th valium. i mean i am honestly serious about cutting back starting very soon. and i still have a ton left. absolutely worse case scenario, i get some more in august at a very nice price. prob wont even start running low by then but if i do, i will save them for emergencies only. ie going out to socialize. i am very grateful to be in a job now where i dont even have to worry about taking valium just to survive the workday. thank GOD. and i was too scared to take even 1 valium on those workdays. but i totally should have. it would have made it just a little bit easier.
shit. wish i didnt have a DRINKING PROBLEM so that i could have drank alcohol and actually Enjoyed it Semi-Responsibly well into my 30s and 40s and beyond, rather than being SO irresponsible with it in my 20s that i had to give it up ENTIRELY. so now im stuck wtih valium and MJ an benedryl. i would not be adverse to opiods either hehehe.
oxycodone is cheap af, oxycontin is not hahahaha. i guess roxycodone is same as oyxcodone. also fairly cheap…..with an rx.
i have heard that the same shit on less legit markets can cost you 60 times what you would pay at a pharmacy. so in other words, get an rx for 60 dollars then turn around and sell it to junkies for 3600 dollars.
is it REALLY that HARD to get an oxy/roxy rx from a shady doctor? that the same pills that are CHEAP at a pharmacy are INSANELY expensive on the street? it just doesnt seem worf it. it seems like it would be more worf it trying to scam shady doctors at “pain clinics”. a lot cheaper.
shit even VALIUM seems like it could be sold at 4 times the rx value. now thats no 60 times but its still yuge, i mean even normal retailers dont mark their shit up 100%, let alone 400%, let alone 6000%!!!!!!!!
so i just took 8 dollars worth of valium today. was it worf it? fook no! if i took 8 dollars of alcohol or even 8 dollars worth of MJ i would be out of my mind. but i actually spent more like 2 dollars on this vlaium. i guess thats a lot more worth it hahaha.
i guess its even cheaper to get large dose pills and splt them in half, according to goodrx.com which ive been referencing here. and possibly another more controversial site to estimate street prices hehehehe.
moral of the story: i need to find an unscrupulous doctor to write me large prescriptions for oxys and valiums hahaha. then get them CHEAP. and i bet that same unscrupulous dr might be willing to write an MMJ recommendation as well. did anyone ever think of this? going to shady pain doctors for MMJ recs?
maybe if i got hooked on pain pills that would be a legit reason to get an MMJ rec hahaha. but what if yu dont have ACTUAL pain, you are just hooked on pain pills?
hehehe i am actually considering abusing pain pills just so i can use that to build my case to get an MMJ card hahahahahahaha. how ridic is that. see i MUST be in pain because ive been on these pain pills for months! and the SIDE EFFECTS from these drugs are painful, so give me MMJ. problem solved hahahaha.
god damn this jooish scheming for a jooish drug is really DEGENERATE.
so WHY ARE legal rxs of drugs like oxycodone so much ridiculously cheaper than the street versions of these same drugs? i mean they are the exact same drugs. its not like heroin getting cut with fentanyl, which believe me, is also a huge thing. maybe that would be cheaper than trying to buy Black Market oxycodone…..but def not cheaper than buying doc-prescribed oxycodone, which is DIRT CHEEP.
this suggests that its REALLY HARD to get a doc to write a script for these drugs. because probably they are being watched on how much they prescribe of a controlled substance. we all know doctors who have been convicted of crimes and sent to jail because they were prescribing too much oxys basically. cuz the second they prescribe them, the FEDS KNOW. so you can’t prescribe too much because the FEDS WILL KNOW IMMEDIATELY. databases and computers and clouds and shit.
not sure if the feds care as much about benzos like valium….but those still have a big markup on the black market.
basically one 5 mg valium is kinda like drinking 1.5 beers or less.
not very happy but still i like it more the more i listen to it. obv listened to this because i was listening to saor. this is remarkably diferent really. but still very good. much much darker. but still very very relaxing and chill. yet sorrowful and freezing. gets right back to the roots like burzum, any boorrtzum fan should enjoy this. and boy do i. the sorrowful, wistful, yearning melodies reach directly into your soul. very moving. very emo hahahaha.
oh yeah varg did a new long video about his year in iraq, very interesting and great video, certainly many people were wondering about that, and he told the story in a nice longer 25 minute video THANKS UNCLE VARG hahahaha.
but seriously its a great thing to be able to tell a good STORY. we need good stories and good storytellers. unfortunately ive never been able to do this….although ive desperately wanted to.
in a way, this blog is a rambling, 1433 page story hahahaha.
but also i havent experienced much that would MAKE a good story. pathetic, sad, unsympathetic stories, sure. like wow this guy is a loser and he sounds like an asshole too. get him away from me. take him away, this guy is totally worthless and useless.
had a weird dream last night where this gurl was throwing herself at me. she wasnt super qt, kinda potatoey, super crazy, but she was hwyte and under 25, so i was like ok fine, ill probably regret not taking this chance, so i did it, and it was all a setup fo some bullyboys to video tape me banging this “fat crazy skank” and make fun of me and put the video on the internet to humiliate me. (but wheres the shame in banging a 25 year old white gurl, even if she is fat and crazy?)
i then basically spent the rest of the dream whining “STOP BULLYING ME” to Cool Guys who were making fun of me. there was a brief period in grade school where i sorta felt like this, but nothing worse than average i’d say. the dream was not pleasant though, i was just trying to get away from all the people mocking and making fun of me, but they were EVERYWHERE, and i felt very weak and angry and upset. also felt like i was drunk or drugged, and that was how i got roped into this stupid situation to begin with. somebody drugged me and then made me humiliate myself.
this could be because i had been a pill popping maniac the day before, taking an obscene 4 valium (20 mg total) and 2 ebendryl. so yeah i was in a deep kind of drugged sleep. but did not have really much of a hangover. and i went to bed late and got up earlier than you would expect. its “only” 12 pm now and i feel fine, no real hangover, just like welp maybe i could have slept a few more hours, but i had errands i wanted to do in the morning today. and i did them.
buying oxycodone or valium on the Street is expensive as fook. much worse value than buying MJ. or alcohol. but i cant drink alcohol. and i want so badly to do mj. but i cant get it, all i have is valium. so i will enjoy the valium as much as i can. mainly on friday nights to partay on the start of my wekeend.
also i may be irritable because i am cutting way back on cigarets starting right now. hasnt gotten too bad. yet. for about a month i boosted up the cigarets significantly, now i want to get it back to the level they were at before, which was like less than one pack a week, with some days no cigarets at all.
ok roxicodone is a brand name of oxycodone and even the legal version of it is super goddamn expensive. generic oxycodone is muuchhhhhhh cheaper. a great deal, even.
how about trying to melt peanut butter in coffee? sounds weird but i dont think its any weirder than melter regular butter in coffee like i am drinking right now. bulletproof hahahaha. plus peanut butter has actual protein in it which i salways good.
heh. saw a guy who was selling 2 oz of MJ for 200 dollars. he said it wasnt the highest quality so dont complain about that, just enjoy the huge quantity for the price. no sorry it was 100 dollars. ARE YOU FOOKING KIDDING ME???? that really sounds too good to be true, unless it were the absolute worst birck dirtMJ lowest tier bottom of the barrel “schwag” you would find before “kind buds” een became a thing in the 2000s. there was a picture and it didnt really look that that, it looked fine. i was like damn i would buy that RIGHT NOW if could just give the money to a person and have them meet me and give me those goods. or me stop by their place and pick it up.
to see all these terrible deals on valium and pain pills and then this great deal on MJ. yes its prob low quality but i want to believe it would be closer to “mids” than “schwag”!
take this song and speed it DOWN by at least 25%. 50% would be ok if it didnt sound so damn distorted. that main first riff sounds better when it is slower. and its already not fast to begin with. they hinted at this on “origin of the feces” playing that riff once, super slow, but they didn’t capitalize on it enough IMHO.
actually it sounds ok at 50%, i got used to the distortion hahahaha. whole damn song. fast parts sound good slow too.
there is a super duper ridiculously nice huge park about 11 miles from my house which i should really go to at least once a week during the summer but i havent gone their in YEARS. this is really SAD. SAD. there are MILES of nature trails and wooded areas, a lake, i think a small beach, its clean and well regarded and not full of trash, there is a golf course, disc golf course, its literally huge. thousands of acres. yet i never go there. SAD. i mean ive been there but i should be going there at LEAST once a month. it does cost 10 dollars per car to get in though. it would be worthwhile to get a yearly pass for like 30 bucks then go once a week, twice a week during the summer. take muh plates up there and do MJ, benzos, and opioids with them and bang them in the forest hahahaha. or find a nice hwyte hwyfu to walk around and have a Connection with whilst smokin MJ hahahaha and she wasnt thinking oh god this is lame this guy is lame i wish i was here with some cooler guy, welp this is the last time i do this.
see i would want to move where the white suburbs start to become officially boondocks, so i am not more than 10 miles from the nearest walmart in other words. and then have like 2 to 10 acres of land. with a small house on it, possibly a hwyte pride single wide trailer. not a big expensive house. just a small but sturdy house on a Couple Acres of land so i can go Out Back and go Shooting and puff MJ and maybe have a Boondocks Bonfire Party. make some noise and not be disturbing people. ideally enough space and privacy to play loud drums and black metal guitars without disturbing the neighbors. maybe have a small wooded area nearby where i could build a lean to and do MJ and be at one with nature. a crick. deer and rabbits and shit. i would be 10 miles away from walmart and 30 miles away from the nearest nonwhite. my house would be small and hopefully as few costs as possible. but what about property taxes on the land. damn. i dont need a basement. i dont need 2 living rooms. i dont need 3 bedrooms. i just want 1 living room, 1 bedroom, maybe a smaller bedroom for kids and guests. maybe a small garage to put a car during the winter. i guess close enough to civilization so it wouldnt be a YUGE problem getting electricity, gas, water. nearest neighbor is at least half a mile away. maybe a country bar where the white men go on the weekends and sing country songs on karaoke. a place where everyone wears camo and owns guns. maybe in a place that doesnt get super duper cold. west virginia, kentucky, tennessee, carolina, appalachia, this seems like a good area.
i do google street view on some interesting neghborhoods where shit starts getting boondocky and there are lots of lebensraum between houses…..and the few houses are STILL gaudy mcmansions. people who wanted to live in the boondocks like me, which is smart…..but also want big stupid jooish mcmansions, which is jooish. i mean evne if i had that kind of money i wouldnt want that. dont average working class people live out here in average, small, working class houses? how about a small 1000 sq ft house? thats what i am talking about.
tiny houses are gay, big houses are jooish, SMALL houses are just right. 1000 sq feet. 900. not sure where it becomes tiny. prob wouldnt want to go below 600. i guess tiny is below 500. ok so just give me 900. current home is….about 1300 sq ft. way too big. could easily go down to 1000. previous home where i spent childhood was about 800 sq ft. perfect size. not sure if this included the basement and the second floor. so yeah. 800 is the perfect size. back in the good old days, houses used to be closer to 800 sq ft than 3000 sq ft mcmansions. fook that shit. like these people can afford those anyway. that is why they are paying like 5000 dollars a month on a jooish mortgage and end up foreclosing.
how do you get a single wide trailer thats not in a trailer park, ie packed in like sardines with other trailer trash? do you “just” buy land in the country, like 2 acres at least, and then build a small house or small manufactured home/trailer on top of it? probably. i wouldnt mind living in a small trailer but i dont want to live in a trailer PARK with a bunch of trailer trash on meth and booze and drugs and having mudshark kids and at best, smokin too much weed and being fat and obese and just stupid worst whites ever. we can do better than this. of course this is what fatherlessness does even to white people.